His mother pursed her lips. “Sounds like Dita’s magic is improving. They cloaked themselves as well. She used the herbs crossed with a spell instead of our strong mindguards to essentially disappear.”
Sarma reached up and grasped Reinis’ hand. “I shouldn’t have gone out there. I’m sorry. I just wanted my mother to tell me the truth about my…my father. She told me she erased my memories by using a hypnotist, so I’ll never get them back. But I had no idea she’d somehow put me in danger to lure Imants out there.”
“I forgive you, Sarma. Just don’t do that to me again. You understand?”
She took his hand in hers. “I won’t, Reinis, I won’t.”
He tipped her head back and planted a firm, tender kiss on her lips. His heartmate was alive, but neither her nor his son were well.
Sarma held Reinis’ kiss for a moment, then drooped her head back down. “I don’t deserve this kindness. I shouldn’t have left.”
She looked up at her father drinking from Laima’s wrist. So natural. So graceful. As if this whole feeding were the most natural thing in the world. How she craved to let go and allow herself to be her new self—a beautiful, vampire. While Imants fed, his color returned, and he no longer supported himself on the bed. He pulled and licked Laima’s wrist. She gathered her skirts and sat down.
“What’s wrong, Sarmiņa?” Imants asked.
Reinis combed his fingers through her hair, sending relaxing shivers over her skin and a soft warmth to her core. His touch always stirred her blood, so why couldn’t she accept him in other ways?
She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her mouth down. Imants, Reinis, and Laima gazed at her with a calm, tender look, that reminded her she’d finally found a family. Even if she lost her mother, once in for all. She needed to finally tell them why she couldn’t feed her son. Why she was the worst mother.
“I have to confess something ugly. I can’t keep it a secret anymore. Not from my true family. I watch all of you feed, and I…I wish I were like you. None of you have any problem with being a vampire. None of you feel strange about who you are. It’s the most natural thing in the world.” She paused, shifting a now sleeping Auseklis in her arms. “When Velta attacked me, her bite hurt so badly, I saw the rage in her eyes, and all I could think was what a horrible monster she was. What a horrible monster I had become.”
Laima covered her mouth and sat forward in her chair. Imants met her eyes but said nothing. Reinis shook his head.
“Every time I tried to feed Auseklis, an uncontrollable nausea flooded me, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. And I kept having a nightmare of Velta pouncing on me, trying to kill me. Reinis, I want so badly to feed my son. He needs me. I need to help him. I want to be like all of you, I just don’t know how.”
“Sarma, you’re not a monster. Gunita was wrong. Vampires are not monsters; we’re just different. I’m sure the main reason she hated us is because she feels like Imants screwed her over. But so much of our existence is out of control simply because we need to hide to survive. And remember what I told you? Velta bit you in a certain way so it would cause you a lot of pain. As you learn and grow, you’ll learn that if you intend to hurt, you will. And if you want to give pleasure, you can do that as well.”
Sarma’s cheeks and chest flushed. Reinis’ voice dipped and had a sultry tone when he spoke the last words. A little smile curled up on Laima’s lips. Imants chuckled. They all knew about something special she hadn’t experienced.
“I’m sorry I hurt your mother. I don’t know where they took her. I forgive her for trying to kill me. I never meant things to turn out this way. But Reinis is right. We are a gifted species, and you, too, can learn what a special being you are. I’m sure your heartmate can teach you,” Imants explained. “I should leave you to rest. Can I please stay the night?”
Laima rose. “Of course. Let me help you get situated in the guestroom.”
Imants came around the bed, then gave Sarma a kiss on the temple. “It’s the best thing in the world to hear you call me, Father. After all these years, I never thought I would find you. We almost lost you tonight. Forgive yourself. You wanted to find out the truth. Sometimes what we have is more beautiful than trying to chase down a past we can’t change. You are beautiful, Sarma. Vampire and all.”
She leaned against his shoulder. “You are my father. And I’m lucky to have you. I thought I lost you, too, tonight.”
Imants brushed his palm against the top of her head with a twinkle in his blue eyes. “Ar labu nakti. Good night.”
Sarma stared after her father and Laima as they left the room. She wanted to believe his words with all her heart, but all that remained was a dusty pile of doubt.
Chapter 22
Sarma stubbed her toe as she left the shower. Pain shot up her shin, making her hop around the bathroom. She’d woken after sleeping all day, and all she craved was a shower. And Reinis’ arms, but she had a hard time telling him that.
After practically freezing to death, almost killing her father, and losing her mother, she didn’t want to annoy him with snuggle time. She’d done enough in these last twenty-four hours to drive him insane for the rest of their lives.
She pressed her face into the towel and shook her head. Last night after they arrived home, he held onto her, but she fell asleep so she didn’t get to enjoy him at all. Strange to be thinking about needing his touch after all the horrid things that occurred, yet he was what she craved. What she needed. His hands across her body, his hot kisses on her neck and cleavage. To remind her why life mattered. She needed him to tell her she was beautiful and tell him why she loved him so much.
But she couldn’t admit her body hungered for him. Ached for him. Not after last night. After what she’d put him through. Good thing he’d filled up on blood when they got settled, otherwise his cracked bones and bruised face wouldn’t have healed. That wasn’t the problem. She was the problem. What if he rejected her? What if he was still angry and wasn’t ready to hold her like that? She didn’t want to break down any more than she already had.
In her bathrobe, she tiptoed down the hall. The sun had barely set, and everyone still slept. On rising, she’d settled Auseklis with Daina so she could shower and let Reinis sleep a while. She opened the door and peeked through the crack.
Across the room, Reinis lay on his back, the sheet and duvet had fallen around his waist, exposing his perfect, chiseled abs. Eyes closed, his black hair splayed against the pillow, and that sexy, stubble he always had trimmed, accentuated his sharp lines. He never failed to steal her breath away. To raise her temperature to a ridiculous level. Yet, these last few months, she’d been stuck in the pain of becoming a vampire.
The whole thing still creeped her out, still made her cringe. But she hadn’t fed properly since the conversion, and right now, blood thirst rattled her nerves. Wetness gathered between her legs. Temptation ignited in her stomach. To stalk across the room, peel away her robe, and spread herself on his stomach. Against her will, her fangs dropped, and it took everything in her not to pounce on him.
Oh god, she needed him so badly. She shut the door and leaned her back against it, staring at him through half-lidded eyes. Her garment fell open, exposing a line of bare skin. Damp breasts, her abdomen, and long, strong legs. She could sneak into bed, run her hand over his pecs, and make a line to his shaft. With her fingers, she’d massage him until he was hard and ready for her. Her favorite way to wake him.
What she really needed to do was get in bed and go to sleep again. Forget the whole thing. Let him rest and his feelings settle. When he was ready, he’d approach her. Asking for this would be unfair. He’d done so much for her last night. And he’d still forgiven her when she didn’t deserve it. She’d put too much at risk going out like that. So obsessed with her past, she’d forgotten about her present. How could she do that to her son? To her heartmate?
Reinis didn’t make a sound, simply opened his eyes and fanned them over her body, down th
e opening of her clothing. Within seconds, a hungry desire lit up in them, and he beckoned her to bed.
She shook her head no. This was too much to ask. Despite what her father had said, she hadn’t shaken that sensation she was a monster. That she was a burden on Reinis. She still rejected herself and hadn’t been able to feed their son the way she should.
“Sarma. Come over here. Don’t deny me. I need you.” He sat up, the blanket falling and exposing his nude, hard length. “Come to bed with me.”
Warmth flushed her chest, down into her abdomen until it reached her core, making her forget her doubts, her reasons that had kept them apart. She loved how he demanded she come by his side. Loved how much he needed her and wasn’t afraid to say it. Maybe she’d put this off too long, and now she wanted to fulfill him. He had so much love for her, and he wanted to show her that. To give her what she had forgotten. She pushed off the door, slid the robe off her back, and slipped into bed with him.
He hoisted himself over her nude body, caging her between his muscular arms. She gazed up at him, his dark hair falling around his face, those emerald eyes with pupils that shrank when he became aroused. So wrapped up in her worries and fears, she’d forgotten about his sharp, masculine lines, so perfect he belonged on the front of a fashion magazine. How could he want her after all the trouble she caused? She would never be his match. Not with the way she felt about herself.
“I hear those thoughts. You need to get them out of your mind. If I didn’t love you exactly the way you are, I wouldn’t have fought for you when they were going to execute me. I wouldn’t have gone against my entire coven for you. I risked exile.” He dipped down next to her head and whispered in a rough voice, “I miss you. I need you.”
Close to her ear, he licked the rim, sucking on her lobe. Her heart hammered. Her breath hitched and he stared into her eyes, mesmerizing her with a heat she didn’t want to rebuff. He spoke only the truth, yet the pain of her conversion had swallowed that up, made it disappear into the recesses of her heart. But with his desire for her, his hot need, she couldn’t stay there any longer. Her heart pined for him too much.
“I miss you too. I’m so sorry I scared you…I’m sorry I followed my mother without telling you. I wanted so badly to find out the truth. I found out nothing but more horrible things. Things I can’t change. Things that made me feel worse about who I am and what I’ve become.”
He lowered himself on top of her, flesh against flesh. “I want to show you what I’ve heard is the best thing about being a vampire—blood exchange while having sex. Since I met you, it’s something I’ve craved. I wanted it so badly but not only was it against the rules, but when you were human, it was impossible. Still, you don’t know how hard it was to hold myself back, so many times it drove me insane. Like holding a charging bull back with a shoestring. But I’m going to confess something to you that should make you feel better about doing it with me. Because let’s face it. I know you kind of hate the idea.”
With their bodies pressed together, he made it almost impossible not to squirm and rub against his already hard length. He captivated her, but she was dying to know what he would say. “Oh? What haven’t you told me about you, Reinis Ozols?”
“I’m a blood exchange virgin like you.”
She shifted her thighs beneath him and tightened her grip on his thick bicep. “Is that so?” He was right. A sense of relief passed through her, made her tense stomach relax. They’d explore something new together.
He traced a thumb along the edge of her hairline and rubbed his shaft against her stomach, reminding her he hadn’t forgotten where he was going with this. “Really, blood exchange is a rite for heartmates, but let me tell you. It’s so addicting, once you try it, you’ll never want to feed another way. That’s why many vampires indulge in sucktaste—sex while feeding that has nothing to do with love.”
She licked her lips and her heart skipped a beat. The way he talked while touching her, she wanted him to get on with it. “Let’s try this…together.”
“But this isn’t sucktaste, Sarma. Es tevi mīlu, I love you. So it’s going to be so much better than that.”
Without letting her gaze go, he locked his mouth onto hers. He dipped his tongue between her lips with masterful strokes, curling her toes, sending hot shivers over her skin. His hand slid down her side, over her hip, inching toward her thighs. No doubt he had his mind made up on what he wanted, and how to get to her, how to unleash her pent up sex.
His mouth still on hers, he kissed her relentlessly and nudged her legs open. Two fingers slid inside her cleft, stroking up and down, titillating her clit. He lingered there for a few moments, riding her until she dripped with juices for him. She almost came, but each time she neared a peak, he pulled back.
Her hips tipped up, following his hand. Even with his reassurances, her stomach tensed with fear again that he would stop in any moment. Stop and tell her she’d disappointed him. Tell her he was through and their relationship was over. Done. She’d taken things too far.
Between kisses, he massaged her opening and said, “You say you don’t like being a vampire. You want to know what you’ve become? An amazing, gorgeous, powerful, sexy, female, whom I want and need and crave every single damn day. That I dream of while I’m asleep and when I’m awake. A female so incredible, I would die for you. So let me show you just how you blow my mind.”
Passion flooded her veins and she barely heard a word he said. He left her panting. Breathless. Needing him. The imprint expanded and spun in her chest. Her lips engorged and ached for him to enter. He slipped his hand away, and dipped a finger in his mouth, growling as he savored her juices.
Then he fanned his fingers over her stomach, and gripped her hips, adjusting her so he could fit between her legs. In a sudden, smooth movement, he penetrated her core. A delicious twinge hit her walls as he stretched her, plunging until he filled her completely. He straddled her, filling her to the hilt over and over. Not gentle or slow. Hard and fast, a male ravenous with need.
“I missed you, Sarma,” he whispered in a sex coated voice.
She tipped her hips into him so he could bury himself inside. “I missed you so much too.”
She needed this as well. Longed for the way he commanded her, how he controlled her in a way she couldn’t explain, made her do things in spite of her fears. Fulfilled her every want and need, in spite of their problems. And he didn’t let up and she didn’t want him to. He pounded into her, palming her breasts, and kissing her with a feral need that only one species expressed. Vampire.
She wrapped her legs around his hips, inviting him in deeper, harder, to slam into her with everything he had. He made love to her like she mattered, like this was their last time together, and he needed to savor each moment. Like he was starving, and she satisfied his stark hunger.
Sweat beaded on his forehead. His fingers interlaced with her hair, and he tugged her face back, exposing her tender neck. Incisors dropped and he grazed her flesh on her throat, sending electrifying heat through her veins. Wetness spilled over her thighs, and his heartbeat thundered in her inner ears. She sensed his imprint grow like a wildfire and hers responded the same. He grunted and groaned while he thrust into her. His blood rushed through his body, and the tangy scent tickled her nose. Her own fangs grew again and the tips throbbed.
Out of breath, he slowed to instruct her. “Sink your teeth into my shoulder. All you have to do is remember how much you want me, how much you love me, when you do it. Nothing else. The rest will take over.”
Could she do this? Blood thirst ripped at her now, and the pressure to come built below. The memory of Velta’s attack threatened to ruin the moment, the shattering pain that overcame Sarma when Velta bit down. Instead, the friction of their bodies grinding together, and the intense arousal they shared drowned that out. She could at least try. For him.
His incisors sank into the soft part of her shoulder, raising goose bumps across her skin. She gasped. Pleasurable tingles f
rom his bite spread throughout her body, making her heart race and her inner walls clench. A rush of heat flooded her, magnifying her need to feed in a way she didn’t expect. He’d never drunk from her during sex, and her head tugged back in an involuntary movement, her legs tightened around his waist to deepen the position of his cock.
Her turn. She eyed his shoulder, her blood hunger peaking, and latched her mouth onto his skin. His salty, male flavor. She rolled her tongue over the spot, grazing him with her teeth. He pumped harder into her, and sucked in great heaves, bringing her close to a climax.
With a free hand, he nudged her to make her move. His eyes burned with an intense urgency. She sank her incisors into his flesh, his sweet and tangy taste filling her mouth, flowing down her throat like hot brandy. Electric sparks flew between them as she connected with him. Her inner beast clamped down, and swallowed mouthfuls of his life fluid. A wave of wooziness swamped her with the same warmth and giddiness of downing a shot. Except this explosion of passion engulfed her, setting off a cascade of orgasms. Made her drunk, her whole body, lost in their exchange.
All she could taste was him. All she could feel was him. Skin against skin. Her legs wrapped, clinging to his waist. His arms slung around her neck. A circle of fluid flowing between them, raking through her veins, igniting her folds. Her ears resounded with their heartbeats that melded, the imprint in their chests expanding and humming in unison.
He’d told her this exchange would floor her, heard it in conversations with other females about their heartmates, but not until she experienced it herself did she believe. Their connection deepened like she could see into him in a way that had never happened before. And he didn’t only satiate her physically, he filled her heart and soul. Made her feel something she lacked—a sense of awe for her kind. For herself. Utterly ferocious, powerful, sexy, and beautiful. So beautiful.
Darkness Born: Paranormal Vampire Romance (Immortal Desire Series Book 1.5) Page 11
