I Need A Gangsta: Book Three (Gucci Gang Saga 3)

by B. Love

  “Wait,” he called, and her body froze immediately. Eyes closed, Christian tightened her body. She refused to show an ounce of weakness or sadness in front of him. “I was hoping we could talk. Since we’re both here.”

  “I ain’t got shit nice to say to you,” Christian gritted, opening her eyes. “And my mama taught me to bite my tongue when it comes to my elders.” She chuckled softly as the sound of his body lifting from the couch permeated her ears. “Though it ain’t shit about you that I should respect.”

  “Christian,” Porsha cooed softly, stepping in her direction.

  “Please don’t save him.”

  “I’m not, baby. I just don’t want you to get upset.”

  “How do you expect me to feel walking in here seeing him?” Christian turned to the side to face her mother, hating that that put Ricky in her line of view. “The fuck is he even doing here? Does Derrick know about this?” Stepping closer, Christian placed her hands on her hips. “Do my brothers know about this? ‘Cause I guarantee you Drecco wouldn’t stand for this.”

  “Christian.” Porsha took Christian by the arm and turned her to the left, trying to lead her out of the living room, but she jerked her arm away. “Nah. He wanted to talk, let’s talk. But I guarantee you ain’t gon like what I got to say.”

  Crossing her arms over her chest, Christian rested the weight of her body on her left side as Ricky nodded and dropped his head.

  “I know you may be wondering why I left…”

  “I don’t give a fuck about that. That shit ain’t got nothing to do with me. I want to know why you’re here now.”

  Ricky sighed, putting his hands on his hips as well. He began to pace and pull his mouth to the side, showing glimpses of her and her sisters in his action. That shit only pissed her off more.

  “I’m here because my daughter could have died. That made me realize what’s truly important in life. If Maria would have died, I would have too. My place is with my children. I understand that now.”

  For seconds on end, they stared each other down. The smirk on Christian’s face in no way meant she was happy to hear what he’d said. In fact, it only irritated her more. For him to think that their relationship revolved around his timing and desire to be a present father to her. As if she was the one who asked and chose to be alive. To be his.

  Nah.

  She wasn’t his.

  Not anymore.

  Her brothers had been more of a father to her than Ricky had chosen to be for the past twenty years. As kids themselves, they stepped up to be there for her, her siblings, and their mothers, and she’d be damned if she dishonored and disrespected them by talking to him.

  “Well I don’t want to have anything to do with you, so you can scratch me off your list.” His shoulders fell and head hung, but neither swayed her as she looked at her mother. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Is there anything I can say or do to get you to change your mind?” Ricky asked as Christian took Porsha’s hand into hers.

  “No, so don’t even try.”

  Christian led her mother out of the living room, needing to get as far away from Ricky as she possibly could. As soon as the door of Porsha’s bedroom closed behind them Christian asked, “What is that man doing here? I know you’re not cool with him? Does Derrick know he’s here? What the fuck is he up to?”

  Porsha plopped down onto the edge of her bed. She may not have wanted to show just how drained she was by his visit, but Christian could see it in her eyes. She could always see her mother’s emotions in her eyes. Running her hands over her face, then through her hair, Porsha shook her head.

  “Evelyn gave him my address and he basically strong armed his way in. This is my first time seeing him too.”

  Christian slowly walked over to her mother and sat next to her. “How do you feel?”

  Shrugging, Porsha released a hard breath. “Okay, I guess. Just… stupid more than anything. Still can’t believe I allowed him to get away with so much.”

  “That was decades ago. Let that shit go, Ma. And if him being here is going to put you back in a negative headspace I can make sure he never comes back.”

  Porsha chuckled softly as she leaned her side against Christian’s. “Y’all are always trying to make somebody go away.”

  Christian smiled. “I’m just saying.”

  “I needed this, though. I needed this to know my strength. Doesn’t matter what he says or does or tries with you all, I’m completely done with and over him. No love resides for him within me, not even hate in my heart. Though I had a brief lapse and felt foolish just now, I know Ricky was a master manipulator that took advantage of my love. And that was his fuck up, not mine.”

  Silence found them for seconds on end before the sound of Ricky walking down the hall had Christian mumbling under her breath.

  “I’m gone, P. I guess I’ll uh… talk to you later. And Christian, if you change your mind…”

  “I won’t,” she interrupted quickly.

  “You think you’re good, but he still has power over you,” Porsha realized.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “That anger. If you were truly over it, he wouldn’t even be able to get that out of you. I get that you don’t want to rebuild with him, that’s okay, but you need to heal – through yourself or God, but you still got some healing to do.”

  Christian hadn’t thought about it like that. She figured, as long as she wasn’t yearning for him or happy to see him and feeling guilty over it, that she was good. But what her mother had said was true – the fact that he could get any reaction out of her… even if it was negative – was a sign that she still needed to heal.

  “So what did you want to talk to me about, baby?”

  Porsha took Christian’s hand into hers, giving her the support she didn’t even realize she needed. Ricky’s presence was affecting her more than she wanted it to. When she left here, she was definitely going to get Leigh’s therapist information. Ricky had taken enough from her during her childhood and adolescence… he wouldn’t take anything from her now.

  “Nash and I discussed the whole surrogacy thing.” Porsha’s head tilted and she smiled softly. “I know the day you asked me I didn’t offer you much. I was really just surprised and needed time to process it. But I have.” Christian inhaled a deep breath and turned more to the side in Porsha’s direction. “We aren’t sure when we’ll get married or have our children. I don’t want to run the risk of getting attached to your baby since it will be my first time carrying one and not want to give him or her up nor do I want to have a bad experience with pregnancy and not want to have my own children.”

  Porsha’s expression saddened, as if she knew what was coming.

  “With that being said, I would be willing to be your surrogate, but it would have to be after me and Nash have a child. I know Derrick is anxious and may not want to wait, so if you all want to find someone else I understand, but if you don’t mind waiting another year or two, I’d be honored to carry my little brother or sister for you.”

  Porsha stared, blankly, for so long Christian laughed. “Ma, did you hear me?”

  Her mouth opened and closed before she shook her head. “You said…” Her head shook. “You’re going to…” Covering her mouth with shaky hands, Porsha immediately began to cry.

  “Mommy…”

  “Thank you so much, Christian,” Porsha muttered, pulling her in for an embrace.

  The longer she cried the harder it was for Christian to hold her tears back. Eventually she let them fall. Porsha’s happiness and gratefulness confirmed that she’d made the right choice. Yes, they all struggled with the effects of Ricky’s disappearing act. They all struggled with how his disappearing act effecting Porsha. But not too many took into consideration what the women… the mothers… had to endure because of him.

  How they’d struggled, sacrificed, and overcame.

  How they had to provide for full families all while mending their broken hearts a
nd shattered realities.

  If anyone deserved happiness and a clean slate… it was Porsha… and Christian was more than happy to give her this chance with Derrick.

  “You know I’ma get you fucked up tonight right?” Nash warned, motioning for the waitress to come over to their table.

  Christian had agreed to being Porsha’s surrogate if they couldn’t find one in about two years, so they had a reason to celebrate. The couple agreed that their first year of marriage would be spent getting to know each other in their new roles and creating memories, and after that, they would start their own family. Thankfully, Nash appeared to be okay with her decision, and he supported her just like he always did.

  “I can handle my liquor,” she countered, smiling at the waitress as she hovered over their table.

  “We gon’ see,” Nash told her before ordering two shots of whisky, making Christian regret her decision already. Yes, she could hold her liquor, but she definitely wasn’t on Nash’s level. For every one shot she could handle, he could take four more. There was no way in hell she’d be able to keep up with him tonight.

  “Do I get a show tonight?” Christian asked, covering her fork with a few spicy queso fries.

  “Hell yea. You know I can’t let you show me up like you did earlier.”

  A few minutes after they first arrived, Christian performed the karaoke version of “I Choose You” by Kiana Lede. That was their thing now – karaoke and open mic nights on Friday’s before spending the night cuddled up watching movies.

  “What are you going to sing?”

  “You’ll see. Well hear.”

  Christian groaned before it turned into a laugh. Her anxiousness was about to overwhelm her. Ever since she found out that he could actually sing she’d been looking forward to hearing him serenade her.

  “You’re just saying that because you don’t have a song in mind that can top mine yet.”

  The smug look that covered his face as he smiled only further piqued her interest as he nodded. “If you say so, Gucci.”

  “What the hell are you up to, Nash?”

  He chuckled as he sat up in his seat. “Will you relax, woman? You ain’t gon’ find out until I do it.”

  Christian pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. Their waitress returned soon after with their shots, and Nash asked for another round before she left.

  “Lord,” she mumbled, lifting her shot with his to toast. “I can’t hang going back to back. I’m going to need a break.”

  “All gas, sweetheart. No brakes.”

  Nodding in agreement, Christian knocked the shot back and tried her hardest not to twist her face up by how disgusting the Hennessy was. She didn’t see how he and Maria could drink it with a straight face. The shit was disgusting.

  By the time their third round of shots were delivered, the DJ was walking over to their table. When he handed Nash the microphone, Christian started to think that he maybe had this planned all along. Her skepticism must have been apparent on her face because Nash chuckled and kissed both of her cheeks as the DJ returned to his place by the stage.

  “What are you up to?” she asked as he took her hand into his. Nash didn’t answer her. All he did was stare into her eyes with a smile on his face. When the instrumental for John Legend’s “So High” began to play, Christian’s heart began to race. Silence filled the room as he began to sing.

  Nash did a medley of “So High” “You and I” and “All of Me” before he stood from his seat and kneeled before her.

  When Christian finally realized what was happening, she pulled her hand from his and used it to cover her mouth as tears began to rapidly fall from her eyes. Cameras and phones were in their faces as the audience cheered, but as he’d said within the second song, no one was in that moment but the two of them. So much so that when he was done singing “All of Me,” he cut the microphone off and put it on the table.

  As Nash inhaled a deep breath, he went into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful pear-shaped diamond that had Christian clutching her chest. His exhale was shaky as Nash took her left hand into his.

  His head tilted as he looked into her eyes. “You’re my best friend, my life partner, and my soul mate. I love you with everything in me, and it would be my highest blessing in life if you’d become my wife. Will you marry me, Christian?”

  Nodding rapidly, she giggled softly before opening her mouth and allowing, “Yes, Nash,” to fall from her lips.

  Nash released a relieved sigh as he slipped the ring onto her finger, as if there was any way in hell that she’d say no. With pure joy in his laugh, Nash stood and helped her stand to her feet. Finding her way into his chest, Christian held onto him tightly as the weight of what had happened settled within her.

  Soon… she’d be marrying her best friend.

  There was no reason for Leigh to be as nervous as she was, but she was nervous. This was the first time she’d done anything like this for a man, and if it backfired, it would certainly be the last. She looked over every inch of her dining room one last time, trying to make sure everything was perfectly in place.

  The balloons were touching the ceiling as their strings dangled in the air. Her R&B playlist was softly playing in the background. She’d prepared Ransom’s favorite meal, and it was warming in the oven. So far, everything looked okay. As soon as he rang her doorbell, Leigh damn near jumped out of her skin. Clutching her belly, she whispered to herself, “Girl, get your shit together,” before inhaling a deep breath and going to let him in.

  They had been making so much progress that Leigh felt obligated… as if she owed it to both Ransom and her heart… to make this next move. As confident as she was, her nerves only grew more and more rattled as she picked up the bouquet of red roses she’d gotten him off the wall table in the hallway. With her hand on the doorknob, Leigh inhaled one last breath and looked down at the loose fitting, flowing lavender maxi dress she had on.

  If she would have had time, she would have looked her face and hair over again, but she was sure they hadn’t changed since the last time she looked three minutes ago. Instead of putting on makeup, she’d gone with face gloss on her eyes and the tops of her cheeks along with a glowing moisturizer that accentuated her beautiful brown skin. She had put on mascara, false eyelashes, and lip gloss though. After smoothing her hand over her bone straight hair, Leigh turned the knob and opened the door for Ransom.

  At the sight of her, he shook his head as he licked his lips. When he noticed the flowers in her hand he smiled as his eyebrows wrinkled. “Who are those for?”

  Leigh chuckled. “You.”

  Hesitantly, Ransom took the flowers as he stepped into her home. “Thank you, pretty girl. You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you. You look handsome as always.”

  As Leigh locked the door behind him, Ransom asked, “You fucked some shit up, didn’t you? Is that why I get flowers?”

  “Why it gotta be because I fucked something up?”

  “Because that’s the only time your ass is nice!”

  “That is not true!”

  “Whatever,” he grumbled, pulling her into his side and placing a kiss on her temple. “This is sweet. Thank you, Leigh.” The sincerity in his voice and eyes held her captivated. All she could do was nod and stare until he looked away. “It smell good as fuck in here. What you cook?”

  “Your favorite. Lasagna, fish, and garlic bread. I made a salad too, but I know you ain’t gon’ eat that.”

  His head shook as they entered the dining room, and as soon as he noticed the balloons he stopped walking and looked down at her. With a smile, Leigh avoided his eyes to keep from laughing at the perplexed expression on his face. Eventually she couldn’t help it, and she burst into a fit of laughter.

  “Why you looking like I’m setting you up, bruh?”

  “Because I’m confused, and I want to know what you’re up to.”

  “I can’t just wanna be nice to you?”

  “Leigh…”


  “Alright,” she drew out, taking the flowers from him and setting them on the table. Once she had both of his hands inside of hers, Leigh inhaled a deep breath and allowed her smile to drop slightly. “I just wanted to do something special for you to let you know how much I appreciate you giving us a second chance. This is something that I should have always been doing for you because of how good you’ve been to me, but I allowed my fear to keep me from experiencing all the love and happiness we have for each other. That’s not happening anymore.”

  She paused and inhaled another deep breath as she willed her heart to slow down. “You’ve been asking me to be your woman for years, and I always turned you down… so…” Her eyes closed and nostrils flared as she inhaled deeply again.

  “Come on, Leigh. Spit that shit out.”

  With a smile, Leigh opened her eyes to find him smiling as he looked down at her.

  “Will you be my man, Ransom?”

  Not answering her right away, Ransom tortured her for a few moments of silence before saying, “Took your ass long enough. Hell yea I’ll be your man.”

  Her giggle was cut off when his hand wrapped around her throat and tilted her head. Sliding his tongue into her mouth, Ransom ate every moan she released as she wrapped her arms around him and deepened their kiss. Yes… it was a long time coming… but finally… they were an official couple.

  Ransom

  This was the moment they’d been waiting for. The moment that would determine if Ransom had two babies on the way or just one. When he’d made it home and saw that the DNA results had been delivered, he headed straight to Leigh’s place to open them with her. Taylor had already been removed from his life, and now, all he could do was pray Cinde would be too.

  But there was a part of him that felt like it wouldn’t be that easy. His relationship with Leigh had never been that easy. Not until now. Maybe they were owed this. Now that they’d finally gotten it together, maybe this was their time to flow in their relationship and experience some ease.