by Jewel, Bella
“So why are you here and not with him?”
“Because I’m an idiot.”
“Babe, what happened?”
“I’m so afraid of what I feel for Josh. It’s like nothing I’ve felt before. Obviously, I have been in relationships before, but these feelings have a finality to them, like this could be it. I have lived my life not being enough for people—my parents, Lachlan . . . and I thought I wasn’t enough for Josh, that I was just a one-night stand back in college. Tonight we spoke about what happened five years ago, and he told me everything. He wanted this. He has wanted us since that night.”
“So why haven’t you been together?”
“Because of Ky.”
Her face went still and her eyes shot wide. “
“No, nothing like that. Ky has only ever been in love with you. The morning after Josh and I were together is when I became friends with Ky. Josh saw Ky and I together, and he told me that it was the first time Ky had smiled since everything happened with you. Josh was scared that Ky was going to hurt himself, and that he was going to lose him forever, so Josh gave up a future with me because he was more concerned about Ky than with what he wanted.”
“Oh my god.” Eden gasped and lifted her hand to her mouth. Tears shimmered in her blue eyes as she looked at me in awe. “Thank you for saving him. If Ky had done anyth—”
“Babe, don’t think that. Don’t go there. It was all Josh. All I did was be Ky’s friend. It was Josh that sacrificed everything for him. Josh stayed away from me until you came back into Ky’s life and he knew Ky would be okay. But when that happened, I had started things back up with Lachlan, and . . . well, we know how that ended.”
“So all of the women and the bachelor lifestyle was just a cover because he has been in love with you since college? That’s why he never did relationships, because he was waiting for you? Ash, everything makes sense now. For as long as I’ve known Josh, and from what Ky has told me, he has never claimed a girl as his own before.”
“What about Sadie?” I asked softly.
“Sadie was just an extended fuck buddy. Those are Josh’s exact words.” She moved across the couch and grabbed my hands, encouraging me to look at her. “It’s you, babe. You are it for him, and once a Crawford claims a girl we have no hope. They won’t let go.”
“I told him I needed some time alone tonight, but I just want him.” I finished my wine as Eden stared back at me. “Do you think I should go to his apartment? I’m kind of a hot mess.”
“Come on. I’ll take you down there.” Eden stood from the couch and held out a hand to me. She pulled me to my feet, and it was then that I realized I was a little more than tipsy. “You and Josh together? Best news ever.”
25
Josh
A soft knock at my door woke me up. I had fallen asleep on my couch while watching an old Adam Sandler movie after coming home from Ashlyn’s apartment. I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost one a.m. Through the peephole, I was beyond shocked to find Eden with Ashlyn. What the fuck were they doing?
“Hey, Josh,” Eden said with a smirk. My gaze jumped straight from her to Ashlyn, who looked unsteady on her feet. “She wanted to come see you.”
“I told Eden,” Ashlyn said in what I assumed was her attempt at whispering. She moved forward and grabbed hold of my hand to steady herself. “But she said we are sisters before misters.”
Holy shit, she was completely fucked up, and exactly what had she told Eden?
“How much has she had to drink?” I asked Eden, as Ashlyn manipulated my body until she was pressed against my chest and my arms had no choice but to wrap around her waist.
“She was drunk when I got there, but then we had another glass or two while she was talking to me.” Eden’s blue eyes were shining with something unique, something precious. “Thank you, Josh.”
Confusion swam within me. “What are you thanking me for?”
“For looking out for Ky. I never knew it was that bad. Ashlyn told me a little, but not everything.”
Oh wow. “Pretty girl, you never have to thank me for anything. I’d do it a hundred times over.” I admitted honestly.
“Do you like cats?” Ashlyn mumbled against my chest, and I took that as my cue to get her inside.
Eden laughed softly at Ashlyn’s crazy behavior, and I shook my head in amusement.
“Do you want to stay here for the night? It’s late,” I asked Eden, not liking the thought of her driving home so late.
“No, I want to get back to Ky tonight. I need to be with him. Take care of this one, Josh. I am beyond happy for you.” Eden leaned in and kissed my cheek softly, then gave Ashlyn one last look.
I watched Eden step into the elevator before closing the door and locking Ashlyn and I in for the night. The sound of the door closing caused her to lift her head, and I laughed softly. Drunk Ashlyn was always fun.
“I love Eden. She said sisters before misters.” Ashlyn giggled.
“Let’s get you some water, and then we should get you to bed. We can laugh about all of this in the morning.”
“I think I had too much wine,” she mumbled as we entered the kitchen. I lifted her so she was sitting on the counter, then I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and some Advil.
“Take these.” I handed her two pills and unscrewed the bottle of water.
“You always take care of me. No one has taken care of me like you,” she whispered, before taking the Advil.
“And I always will. Let’s get you to bed, and we can talk in the morning,” I said softly, then grabbed her hand and helped her down from the countertop.
“Can we spoon tonight? I don’t think I’d be good for anything else.” She giggled as we walked toward my bedroom.
After we stepped through the door, she immediately sat on the edge of the bed and I felt her gaze travel with me as I moved toward the dresser. I pulled out a T-shirt and, without speaking a word, undressed her down to her panties and slipped it over her body. Then I pulled back the comforter and chuckled softly as she crawled up my bed, her perfect ass on display and covered in barely-there black panties, until she got to what she liked to call her side of the bed.
“I love your bed. Can I stay over more often? Maybe I’ll bring my cats over. Will you get a cat with me?”
What the fuck was all this talk about cats? “Sure, Ashy.”
I pulled off my own shirt and slid down my jeans, then climbed into bed beside her in just my boxers. She looked so good in my bed; I’d have her here every night if she’d let me. The fact that she was here made me think that maybe she wanted that too. I just hoped that she didn’t wake up in the morning with, not only a splitting headache, but regrets about coming here. I don’t think I’d be able to handle that.
I pulled her close to my body. Our legs tangled together, and her soft breathing on my chest felt like heaven. Just as I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness, she moved beside me and rested her chin on my chest. I looked down at her and, in the moonlight that was flooding my bedroom, I was able to see the beauty of her face.
“Guess what, Joshy?” She leaned in closer, then ran her thumb over my bottom lip, and I sucked in a breath. “It’s only ever been you.”
I wasn’t a praying man, but right at that moment I prayed that her words were nothing but truth. It would break me if it was the wine talking.
* * *
“What is that noise?” Ashlyn asked groggily from beside me, and burrowed into my chest further. “Oh my fuck, my head.”
My phone continued to vibrate on the bedside table. “Ashy, I need my arm so I can answer my phone.”
Her eyes shot wide as she looked up at me and realized where she was. “Cats. I left you a message about cats. Oh my god, ban me from ever drinking again. Please just knock it out of my hand.”
There she goes with the cats again. Was she still drunk?
She rolled over and allowed me to move my arm, so I answered my phone. Eden asked about Ashlyn, a
nd wanted to check in to make sure everything was okay. I asked her about the voicemail message I had from her, then she burst out laughing and told me that I had to listen to it as soon as I got off the phone with her. Her reaction alone intrigued me.
Ashlyn was groaning softly, and I swear I heard her mumbling about how much she hated wine.
Eden said her goodbyes and, without lowering my phone, I pressed into my voicemails and started listening to what I assumed would be Eden’s voice.
“It’s me. Ashlyn. Calling on Eden’s phone. I’m going to buy some cats, probably two or three because they need friends. You were really warm tonight, and you bought my Pad Thai, and now I’m a little drunk on wine, but Eden is making me drink water. Do you like cats?”
I burst out laughing. Now I understood her fascination with cats. Ashlyn rolled over and looked at me like I was a crazy person.
“Josh, can you please be a little quieter?” she whispered. “I’m feeling a little under the weather.”
“Do you remember anything about last night? What you asked me?” I asked, once I got my laughter under control.
Her face went still. “What did I do?” she asked nervously.
It was an asshole move, but I couldn’t resist having a little fun with her. “I said yes. To be honest, I never thought you’d ask me,” I said, with an air of satisfaction and disbelief in my tone.
“What?” she choked out, her eyes wide, and the color in her face now completely drained.
“We’d have to make some calls, but I’m sure Ky and Eden would be willing to help.” I was barely able to contain my laughter. “How quickly do you want to do it? It’s a huge commitment.
She shot up in bed, and next thing I knew she was standing up and leaning over the end of the bed. “Fuck, my head is spinning. What have I done? You said yes?”
“Why wouldn’t I say yes?” I asked in a sarcastic tone that she didn’t seem to grasp. “Are you having second thoughts? Wow, Ashy, I never thought you’d be like that.”
“Fuck, what have I done? Josh, I like you, like really, really like you, but that? I would need to tell Austin. He’d either tell me I was crazy or tell me I was awesome.” She paced my bedroom as she completely freaked out.
“Why are you freaking out so much? I didn’t think buying a cat together would cause you this much stress.”
Suddenly, she froze . . . and I waited. She spun around and her eyes shot wide. With two steps, she was standing beside the bed. “What did you just say?”
I couldn’t contain my smirk any longer. “I said, I didn’t think buying a cat would cause you this much stress. Why, Ashy, what did you think I was talking about?” I grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto the bed beside me, then rolled to my side to face her.
“I hate you,” she muttered as she buried her face into the pillow and stifled a laugh.
“No you don’t. You really, really like me. You just said, they were your exact words.”
She lifted her face and attempted to glare at me, but her smile dismissed it all. “Well played, Crawford. Way to make the hungover girl feel even more humiliated. I thought I had proposed or something. Was I like ridiculously drunk last night?”
“You were cute drunk. Do you remember everything?”
“Yes, unfortunately. I’m surprised I didn’t try to jump your bones.”
“I’m not into fucking girls who are passed out. Now, enough with the chatting. You need to go have a shower, get dressed in your sexiest bikini, and meet me back here in an hour. We are going on a date.”
“A date?” she asked with a smile.
“Yep, a date. Fifty-eight minutes, Ashy.”
For someone who was suffering a hangover, I had never seen her move so quickly.
* * *
I entwined our fingers as we walked along the boardwalk that allowed us views of the Atlantic. Ashlyn was ready in record time, and had come back to my apartment within forty minutes. Maybe she was as eager as me for this date.
“I still have no idea where we are going,” she said with a laugh beside me.
“You’ll like it, I promise.”
We continued walking for another ten minutes before we turned off and headed down a track that led to a secluded part of the beach that looked like a cove. Not many people knew that this place existed, and I hoped that we would have it to ourselves.
As we came through the clearing, Ashlyn suddenly stopped. “This looks exactly like Lilac Cove,” she whispered. “My favorite place in the world.”
She dropped my hand, took off down to the water’s edge, and dipped her toes in the clear blue water. When she turned back to look at me, I was greeted with a smile that reached her eyes, and I knew I had made the right decision in bringing her here. I set down the picnic basket and placed the blanket under the tree, before pulling off my T-shirt and heading down to the water to meet her.
“Let’s go for a swim before we eat,” I said softly into her ear as I wrapped my arms around her waist. “Show me that body of yours, Ashy.”
“I think you should undress me,” she said.
She didn’t have to ask me twice.
I unwrapped my arms from around her waist, then my eyes roamed over her body, which was covered in a light pink dress that showed off her perfect curves. My hands landed on her thighs and slowly pushed her dress up over her hips to reveal purple bikini bottoms and her pert ass. Her eyes fluttered shut as my fingertips swept over her stomach then trailed over her tits before I pushed the dress off her shoulders.
“It’s like unwrapping the best present in the world.”
She shivered as I ran my fingertips down her spine. I loved the effect I had over her.
“Turn around,” I whispered, and slowly she turned to face me. I looked at her body in all its glory, and felt my cock swell at the sight of her. “You are absolutely stunning, Ashy. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise.”
Her cheeks flushed, and I knew I’d continue telling her until she believed it.
We walked into the cool water until it reached my chest. I lifted Ashlyn into my arms, and her legs twisted around my waist while her arms wrapped around my neck.
“So, are we good?” I asked softly.
“We are good. I just wasn’t expecting you to tell me that. I think it just shocked me, and I reacted badly. It was a beautiful thing that you did, and I never want you to regret it. We just need to concentrate on what is, not what could have been. The here and now.”
“That sounds good to me.” I leaned in and covered her mouth with mine. Her sigh of contentment spurred me on, and I pulled her closer to my body. As our kiss intensified, her body started grinding against mine in a perfect friction. Her fingers raked through the back of my head and my fingers dug into her ass. “How do you feel about public sex?” I groaned against her lips.
She giggled and broke our kiss, and then her face disappeared into the concave of my neck. “If we are going to have sex in water, then it has to be in the real Lilac Cove.”
“Let’s go there next weekend,” I said.
Her laughter made me feel like I had finally found my home.
After I calmed down and my cock decided to relax, we left the water and moved to the shade, where I pulled out the picnic basket that I’d purchased from the local café. It contained sandwiches, fresh fruit, juice, and chocolates. We ate and spoke about everything and anything. I teased her about cats, and she told me that she’d hold back, not only those pussy cats, but hers. That was the last I’d tease her about cats.
Once we finished eating, she moved down until her head was resting in my lap. Silence fell between us, and her eyes drifted shut as I ran my fingers through her hair.
“I was frightened that this was too good to be true, because the moment I met you all those years ago, I knew I wanted something with you. When I came back from Australia, you were the one I went to. I chose you. That first morning when I climbed into your bed was the beginning of this. The beginning of something that I
still can’t name, but I’m working on it. All I ask is that you be patient with me. I would rather suffer a hundred heartbreaks at the hands of other men than to ever suffer heartbreak from you, Josh, because I know I wouldn’t survive it. But I can feel something between us, something like I’ve never felt before, and I don’t want to fight my future with fears of my past anymore. Especially if my future includes you,” Ashlyn said softly.
I looked down at her, and she gazed up at me with the most peaceful of expressions. It was beauty in its purest form. “I tried to push you away,” She continued. “But you kept coming for me. And you know what? You are all I see, Josh. You are my anchor in the craziness of life. You give me the chance to go a little off course at times, but you always pull me back in. You scare me in the best possible way, because you are the only one that could give me the one thing I’ve always wanted, the one thing I had given up on.”
I pulled her up until she was straddling me. My world as I knew it just shifted. It was completely turned on its axis by her admissions. The enormity of what she had just shared wasn’t lost, now that she had admitted that she was locked into the thought of us as much as I was. The fears, insecurities, and worries that had been consuming me in silence over the past five years began to lift.
“You’re my girl, Ashy. Always have been and always will be.” I whispered, with a voice swamped with emotion.
“I think this is the perfect time,” she said softly, and a glimmer of cheekiness hit her eyes.
“Perfect time for what?”
“To say one thing and one thing only.”
I waited for whatever the hell she wanted to say. Knowing Ashlyn, it could be anything.
Her lips twisted into a sassy smile before she leaned in close to my ear. I waited expectantly for whatever she had to say. “Only one thing needs to be said to end a perfect date.”
She made me wait like the cute little tease she was. Then she said the two words that made me feel like I had won the lottery.
