Tanith & Shaw (The Fealty of Firstborns Series Book 1)

by H. V. Rosemarie

  “He has a broken arm and a dislocated shoulder. So far, he’s refused our healers. I don’t think he doesn’t believe we can help, but he’s probably still wary. Cautious at the least, but I expected as much. As for Ward… he doesn’t seem to be seeing sense. He thinks all of this is an illusion and we’re all part of the island trying to trick him into staying. For better or worse, your training runs deep.”

  Tanith nodded. “In some of us more than others. For Ward, the Sight is all he’s been holding onto his whole life. Without it, Xeres is the next in danger of falling, so I don’t think he believes he can afford for our entire upbringings to have been a lie.”

  “Perhaps in time.” He didn’t have to add that there was only a limited amount of it.

  “I hope so.” She picked at a stain on her sheets, evidence of how dirty she really was. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “Why two hundred? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the island to appear every century?”

  Riven shook his head. “On Wickenvare, each of our four seasons last for fifty years, so it’s tradition to wait until they’ve all come and gone, and a new rotation begins. That’s how my father did it, at least.”

  “And you control the visibility of the island?”

  He nodded. “He who wears the crown and leads the people, yes. It’s how the Ghods intended it.”

  Tanith sighed. “I suppose that makes sense.

  “Even in your state, you still manage to crave the history that drives Wickenvare and our traditions. Consider me impressed, Tanith Estiellon. I’m in awe of your dedication,” the king complimented.

  He reached for her hand, giving it a light squeeze before pulling away and standing. “Rest, or bathe. Whatever you do next, take it easy. I’ll have dinner delivered here tonight.”

  “Thank you,” she said to him, watching him make his way out as he flashed a sharp-toothed grin before closing the door and leaving her to decide what came next.

  She chose to bathe.

  The very scent of the smoke that lingered on her was a headache, not to mention a horrible reminder of nearly being burned alive on two separate occasions. With racing thoughts, she ran the bathwater, watching it fill the golden tub as she mulled over the night’s events.

  Shaw.

  Why had he risked the fire to meet with that man? Treason. The word was thrown around during their conversation, but why? What were they planning? Would he tell her if she confronted him, or would he have her memory taken? One thing she knew about Vaere Shaw after her short time with him was that he couldn’t be trusted.

  He may have been there for her to help navigate the island. He might have saved her from the barbarians and from the fire, but he had more points racked against him than not, and the forgiveness she’d extended to him only covered some of his many faults.

  Tanith slipped into the tub and let the scent of orange blossom ease her worries. She would have her answers, one way or another, but first, she needed to look like someone worthy of demanding information.

  Holding her breath, she dunked under the water, washing the lingering smoke from every inch of her body in favor of a less intense smell. If she was going to entice answers out of Shaw, she couldn’t reek like something he’d want to run away from. For once, she’d have to make him stay long enough to spill the truth.

  She took her time, lathering, scrubbing, brushing, drying, powdering, carefully selecting a neroli-scented perfume to tie it all altogether. Then it was time to dress, and she had plenty enough options left in her wardrobe to choose from.

  Tanith remembered the numbers he’d chosen for her. Kenna had hung them at the very end, and she drew inspiration from his color palette in her selection. Though he loved black, he must have thought she looked best in white and green, so she reached for a dark green tulle ballgown. It was an off-the-shoulder piece with big tulle sleeves and a line of flowers around the entire neckline—stunning on the hanger and even more breathtaking after she slipped it on.

  It was a shade or two darker than the original simple green dress Shaw had chosen for her, but the design was incomparably elegant, and she didn’t just feel like a princess while wearing it.

  She felt like the entire monarchy.

  The only thing missing was a touch of regal sophistication, so she worked with what she had, tangling together two gold necklaces from the jewelry box on her vanity and turning it into a masterful headpiece. They were streaks of tangible sun against her raven black hair, a compliment to the brown skin of her forehead where the front of the jewelry rested.

  A knock at the door pulled her away from the mirror, her heart leaping in her chest—either from excitement or nervousness. She couldn’t tell.

  “Come in!”

  The door creaked as it opened, Ward’s head popping through. “It’s me,” he greeted.

  Tanith’s shoulders slumped slightly. She’d been expecting Shaw, assuming his way of showing up at her door would save her the effort of tracking him down, but she also wanted to get a word in with her friend.

  The dark-haired man carried in a tray of food, four plates with variants of the kitchen’s finest dishes neatly placed upon it. “You weren’t at dinner, so I took it upon myself to intercept the servant with your meal. I wanted an excuse to speak with you,” he explained, setting the tray down on her desk. “To apologize for last night. Ekko and I never meant to put you in danger. We had an escape plan, but we weren’t counting on the fire spreading the way it did before we could find you and Ardeen.”

  “From what I hear, they have the repairs under control. I don’t blame you,” Tanith answered. “It was my doing—pretending we were being held hostage to get you here, so I’m sorry too.”

  Ward stuffed his hands in his pockets, his almond-shaped eyes rising to the ceiling. “This place is pretty convincing; I’ll give you that. I just don’t understand how you were able to throw our teachings out the window so quickly.”

  Tanith sighed. “I didn’t. Like you, I was skeptical, then I heard the truth from my mother’s own mouth.”

  “Another illusion,” he argued.

  She shook her head. “No. Reality. I heard her confess, and then she said goodbye to Meelah as she was leaving for her internship. Shaw intercepted the boat and brought my sister here. What I saw was true. It was as real as you are standing before me. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.”

  Ward made a face as though he were tasting something sour. “Let’s say it is real. So what? There’s a seventh kingdom crawling with immortal creatures that the human lands know nothing about.”

  “Apart from our parents.”

  He dipped his chin in agreement. “Except for the rulers. What are we supposed to do with that? Succumb to their demands? Fold when they tell us to? When I return home, I’ll be keeping my memories. All this knowledge of what waits on the invisible island… I’m bringing it back. I’m through with these lies.”

  She shook her head. “No, Ward. They won’t let you. Even if they did, you’d be risking all our people.”

  “We are not a Crish,” he jutted in. “The Crish are the exception to the rest of us who are good people, the same way the barbarians on this island are the exception to whom I presume to be good fae.”

  “There’s no such thing as a Crish,” she argued.

  “They’re humans,” he corrected. “Just like us. They’re people with more dangerous minds and more irrational actions, but they are people, and we call them Crish. The disease might not be what we thought it was, but it’s still very much real.”

  “So?”

  “So, the fact that wickedness exists among humanity doesn’t mean the rest of our people aren’t worthy of touching the Light if they want to.”

  Tanith held back an irritated sigh. “I agree, but this goes beyond that. As many lives that would be saved by being made immortal, three times as many would be lost in the war that would ensue. There’s a reason Wickenvare remains hidden, and I’m
trusting Riven told you all about it.”

  “He isn’t the know-all end-all.”

  “But he’s been alive longer than you, me, and all the other firstborns combined,” she argued. “It’s safe to assume he knows a little something about the matter.”

  “I never said he didn’t,” Ward countered. “It just isn’t fair.”

  She smiled sadly. “It never is, but we work with what we’ve got. Can you accept that?”

  The prince licked his lips, considering the options that had been presented to him before shaking his head. “No. I can’t, and I won’t. I’m with Kent on this one.”

  Then he was gone, walking out, shutting the door, and leaving her to think about his words as though his argument would change her mind.

  It got on Tanith’s nerves that all the men she’d spoken to since waking were treating her as if she were incapable of making her own choices. Riven wanted her to stay in her room and rest. Ward wanted her to refer to the training she’d received from the very people that had lied from the day she was born. It was insulting, and she was tired of it.

  Answers. That was what she wanted, and no prince or king was going to stop her from getting them.

  CHAPTER 28

  Shaw had an office in the palace.

  It took wandering through the entire first floor for Tanith to figure that out, but she did, and it was where he’d chosen to hide away that evening.

  Tanith didn’t knock—hadn’t bothered to after walking into over two dozen empty rooms, but this time, someone was occupying the space.

  Shaw lounged in a chair at the end of a wide table, one boot kicked up on the edge and his elbow on the armrest, his knuckles under his chin. His black shirt was unbuttoned, auburn hair unbound as he lifted his tired gaze from the map sprawled out before him.

  It was enormous, stretching beyond the six remaining human lands to where the ruins of Glendarem, Chanem, and Zhou rested to the East and South. Small wooden chunks, hand-carved ships by the looks of them, rested in the various waters, sprawled from their home on the docks of the invisible island.

  A fleet.

  “Is that…” she trailed off as she studied it, observing the strategy. They surrounded the remaining six kingdoms in all directions, but Ellesmere was the most guarded.

  Shaw nodded. “Just in case,” he assured. “Kings are always on edge when war is mentioned.” His brown gaze raked down her dress, appreciation flashing in them. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

  Tanith closed the door behind her and dragged a chair towards the edge of the room to the opposite end of the table. She narrowed her gaze at the man across from the map, fisting her hands to prevent herself from nervously stroking the dark green tulle of her gown.

  “I heard you last night,” she admitted, watching his breath catch. Then his bare chest fell with the release of an exhausted breath.

  “Of course, you did,” he muttered to himself.

  “I want to know why. What’s so important that you’d commit treason?”

  Shaw hesitated for only a moment, his jaw clicking before he answered. “I did it for you.”

  Tanith couldn’t help but scoff. “Don’t use me as an excuse for whatever you’ve been cooking up under Riven’s nose. I haven’t needed your help since we got here.”

  “I saved you from the guards,” he corrected. “And the barbarians.”

  “I killed one of the attackers on the beach myself,” she reminded him. “And the guards only would have brought me here. What danger was I really in apart from knowing the truth sooner?”

  He nodded slowly. “Alright. So, maybe you didn’t need my help. That’s a matter of opinion, but what I’m telling you now is a fact. I did it for you, and I’ve learned my lesson on lying to you. It’s the truth.”

  “I never asked you to do anything for me,” she said darkly. “What treason have you committed in my name?”

  Shaw bit the inside of his cheek. “The man you saw is the one who alters memories. His gift is a special one. Not unique to him like most others because there’s only one mind faerie per generation. Another won’t be born until he dies.”

  “And your bargain with him?” She held her breath as she waited for him to answer.

  “If you choose to return home, he won’t take your memories or your knowledge of Wickenvare. That was what I asked him to do. To fake it if you decide to follow Kent back to the human lands.”

  Tanith blinked and blinked again. She didn’t know what to say. If she retained her memories…

  “It was what I asked him to do for Meelah,” he explained. “She remembers everything you told her, but I made her swear never to speak of her time here to anyone.”

  That was why her sister had looked so haunted and sad when Tanith had checked on her from the cube. She knew. The young princess remembered.

  Tanith was filled with hope. “You mean I can… I can go home and never forget?” It was another option, and she wasn’t sure if that made her decision harder or easier. Was remembering better or worse? “You made that deal for me?”

  Sheepishly, Shaw looked away, pretending to survey the map. “Mostly,” he whispered under his breath.

  She straightened. There was always a catch. “Mostly?”

  He closed his eyes in frustration before raising them to her again, shrugging as though unbothered despite the fact that she could see very real pain in his gaze. “Maybe a little for myself,” the Admiral admitted. “Is it so terrible that I didn’t want you to forget me?”

  Tanith sighed. He wasn’t like his brother at all. “You went out of your way to make an opportunity for me. No matter the reason, I’d say it’s far from terrible.”

  “Even if it’s punishable by death?”

  She sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. “What?”

  He had the audacity to smirk. “For my sake, I hope you’re a good actress.”

  “It’s a good thing Riven doesn’t read minds. He’d have your head on a pike otherwise.”

  “That’s barbaric,” Shaw argued. “We’re much more evolved than you are in the human lands.”

  “Oh, really?” she challenged, crossing her arms. “Then how does one deal with traitors?”

  “We have a little something called a death faerie,” he explained. “They can stall your heart, either temporarily or forever. An air faerie could also choke you to death. Take your pick.”

  “I’m not the traitor.”

  “Not yet,” he agreed, “but if you leave and keep your memories, you will be. They just won’t know it.”

  Tanith tapped her finger on the arm of her chair. “I suppose it’s a good thing I haven’t decided yet, then.”

  “Probably.”

  They stared intensely at one another. “What would you decide? If you weren’t already half-fae and you came here with the rest of us, what would you do?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “I’d stay.”

  To get away from his father. It went unspoken, but she understood. In his position, she would too. Her home wasn’t a treacherous one, though. It was Ellesmere: the pride of her father, and he had been a good man. The thought of him made her throat tighten, and she knew what came next, but she wouldn’t cry in front of him. Quickly, she rose.

  “Good talk.”

  It was all she said before turning and making for the door.

  She heard his chair scrape, the sound of his boot hitting the floor before he was in front of her, startling her back a step. She’d forgotten he could do that because he so rarely used his fae abilities. That she knew of, at least.

  “I can’t ask you to stay too,” he told her gently. “It would be selfish, but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t give you a reason to consider it.”

  She shook her head. “I have enough to sort out already.”

  “Tanith,” he said more firmly, his hands reaching for her wrists. He wrapped his long fingers around them, leading her palms to the skin of his neck. His pulse was throbbing wildly as he took an
other small step forward, closing the space between them and looking down at her with vulnerable eyes.

  “Shaw,” she countered, but she wasn’t sure what to tell him.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I wish I could go back.”

  To when, he didn’t specify. To the first day on the ship. To the attack on the beach. To when he caught up with her and Kent. To their time in the townhouse. To the second time she’d given him a chance. He couldn’t change all the times he’d failed her or put another wall between them, but she supposed his willingness to bargain for her uninterrupted passage off the island was a start.

  “We can only go forward,” she answered. “And I need to go forward alone.”

  Tanith pulled her hands free, and he didn’t bother to fight her. Whatever decision she made, she needed to make it for herself. Even Shaw knew that.

  “I can be patient,” he told her. “In a way, I’m still waiting for you to wake up. This time, I promise I’ll be here.”

  +

  “Can you see the future?” Tanith asked Leevi the next afternoon.

  Yamra laughed from where she was curled up on the net of the observatory, a book in hand. “If he could do that, historians would be useless. All we would do is give him a pen and some paper.”

  “Just wondering,” Tanith muttered.

  Leevi grunted from his desk, jotting away in a well-worn notebook of his. “Are you here to check on your sister again?”

  As much as she wanted to, she shook her head. “No. Your gift is amazing, but I’m sure she’d appreciate some privacy.”

  “It’s not like she’d know you’re watching,” Yamra piped up.

  No, Tanith silently agreed, but she did have her memories. Meelah may not have known when she was being watched, but she did know her big sister had an eye on her. It was probably as comforting as it was disturbing.

  “It’s a respect thing,” she answered simply, brushing off the pang of fear the secret brought her. No one knew. No one but her, Meelah, and Shaw. That’s how it was going to stay.

  “At least one person around here doesn’t abuse the cube,” Leevi said, more to himself than either of them.