There would be a second infant to deal with in six months or so and her hands would really be full then! If he needed a new wife after his other had died due to Amelia – he may very well run away at the idea of a second child so soon. She wasn’t sure herself how she was going to manage to take care of two babies at once.
She felt so guilty at not divulging her pregnancy to him, but part of her was terrified he wouldn’t have married her. An unmarried, penniless, widowed woman would be easy prey on the streets or end up in dire situations. Her child came first – and she understood Chance’s motivation at that moment. He didn’t care for her in the slightest – Amelia came first.
Oh yes… Melanie understood her position in the household very well.
She had to become valuable to the household, to Chance and Amelia first, before divulging the fact that she was pregnant… and time was not on her side! Her body would begin showing soon and there would be no more hiding it. Somehow, someway, she needed to make sure that they knew she wanted, no needed, to be a part of their family. She needed a home for her own child and desperately wanted it to grow up with the cooing cherub watching the world around her from the bassinet that Melanie had pulled into the family room while she cleaned.
She’d make Chance a treat!
He’d gotten her a present – one that she hadn’t really looked at yet – but the idea that he’d thought enough of her to do so was touching. She went back to her room and picked up the package that was partially opened and sat untouched on the dresser behind the washbasin. Flushing, she realized that he must have picked it up from the floor where it fell in her rush to take care of the baby and she forgot about it.
“This was very thoughtful of him,” she said absently to Amelia who was gurgling happily in her cradle. Pulling the package from behind the basin, she sat down in the rocker near the baby and set it on her lap. It was soft and the paper seemed extremely loud, making Amelia jump and look around curiously.
“Sorry sweetie,” she said apologetically, quickly removing the fabric from the noisy paper and setting it down on the floor beside the chair. Stunned, she gaped at the gift inside – a breathtaking shawl. It had long fringe that was so soft, and flowers of every color were embroidered on it. The fabric was so soft, so silky, she wondered if it was something other than cotton. Getting to her feet, she wrapped it lovingly around her shoulders and saw that it was perfect.
“I can’t believe he did this,” she whispered reverently, realizing that her new husband was a truly kind and wonderful man. She felt a pang of loss for the unknown woman named Beth that was Amelia’s mother. Some poor woman had not only lost her life, but she lost the chance to get to know her daughter and be the recipient of her husband’s affections.
She smoothed the fabric and took the corner of the fringe, tickling Amelia’s feet with it playfully as she thought. Melanie would make a dinner fit for a king and welcome him home tonight like he was the only person in the world… because he was. It was just Chance and Amelia in her world – and she was growing to treasure them both.
Maybe she could get him to talk with her a while or perhaps tell her of the day’s events or hear about how he grew up so she could get to know her new husband whom she wanted to befriend. She needed to get started on things before the day got away from her. Another bout of the infant’s diarrhea would end up leaving the baby naked in her swaddling, as she’d ruined the last gown this morning already.
Melanie quickly folded the precious shawl and put it in a drawer.
Opening the front door to see the wash bin, she stopped. Her eyes met the ornery gaze of the ugliest goat she’d ever seen tied to the post of the porch.
Bleaaaahhh!
It bleated at her noisily, munching on grass, and Melanie smiled. He’d also brought around the goat for his daughter to help her out. First thing first, she realized. She needed to set the water to boil, find the soap, and milk the now bleating creature who was angry at having been left tethered. She’d been quiet up until then and now wouldn’t seem to shut up that the door was open.
“All right! I’m hurrying,” Melanie said absently, putting a large pot of water on the stove to boil and grabbing some soap as well as lye to clean the messy pile of fabrics before her. She hurriedly shoved the stained garments in one vat and put her washboard into the other one to actually do the scrubbing once the water was heated. Laundry was a chore, and not one she favored doing all the time.
Hearing the baby soil itself in the cradle not far from her, Melanie winced and looked at the goat knowingly. So much for hoping she beat the intestinal clock. Amelia let out a whimper and Melanie knew it wouldn’t be long before she was protesting left and right – and who could blame the little tyke?
She hurriedly cleaned the baby, set her naked in the cradle, and immediately went for the goat. Melanie neatly avoided it’s attempts to bite her, once swatting it on the head before she tightened the tether, holding it close to the porch so she could milk it. This little animal seemed to be particularly hostile and she hoped it was because the teats were swollen from lack of milking.
“Sorry about waiting,” she whispered to the animal as she proceeded to milk it as quickly as possible as Amelia cranked up her wailing nearby. Another round of flatulence warned Melanie from where she perched that there was more laundry to add to the wash that she hadn’t even begun to start yet.
“I sure hope this works,” Melanie said tightly under her breath as she loosened the tether to allow the goat a little more freedom to mill about the yard while still tied to the post. She quickly put the milk in a glass bottle and proceeded to pick up the screaming child, who was beside herself.
Amelia quickly latched on to the bottle and the perplexed look on her face at the strange substance being fed to her was almost amusing. There was a difference in taste and the baby noticed it. Melanie just hoped it worked and didn’t make things worse. If it did, Chance would need to see about hiring a wet-nurse until she had her own child and could produce milk.
Sitting there, she rocked the baby until she nodded off. Her little tummy gurgled noisily and Melanie was sure she was about to get pooped on once again. She felt bad for the little girl and knew she was helpless against her body’s reaction to the milk. Maybe switching it would help? Setting her down in the cradle, she watched the sleeping infant for a few minutes before turning to the laundry. There was no time like the present to get started scrubbing fiercely, as the clothing would be needed and it still had to dry. Melanie scrubbed as quickly as possible, dunking the now clean clothes in cool water to remove the lye and soap, before hanging it on a clothesline she spotted that ran from the newel post to a tree.
Stepping back inside, she peered in the cradle to see that Amelia was still resting, and washed her hands quickly. Heading for the pantry, she removed several items in order to start making dinner for Chance. She remembered several simple recipes from her childhood and decided to make a simple applesauce cake for her new husband. She’d seen a jar of the sweet sauce hidden away in the pantry, as well as several ingredients.
Hours later, fatigued beyond belief, and re-braiding her hair that had come loose during all of her hard work during her first day there, she heard boots on the porch just seconds before Chance walked in the front door. Thankfully, Melanie had finished cleaning up after her cooking and the table was set. Amelia was happily slurping on her fist and cooing from her cradle nearby.
“You’ve been busy,” he said slowly, staring at the table before looking at Melanie.
“It’s been a busy day,” she confirmed, smiling at him as exhaustion beat at her. She’d retrieved the clean clothing, rinsed out the wash basins, put away everything, as well as fed the baby a few times. Melanie was glad to see that the goat milk seemed to be slowing down the poor child’s gut and Amelia seemed so much happier – her little tummy also didn’t seem to be quite as distended. Melanie realized that the baby wasn’t a fat little child, she was just miserable from indigestion.
> “You didn’t need to do all of this,” Chance replied, loosening his tie at his neck. She liked the way he dressed himself as a professional. Just about every time she’d seen him so far, he’d been garbed in a vest, a clean button up shirt, with a small tie around his neck, as well as an apron about his waist to prevent his pants from getting ruined by spilled drinks or cleaning during the day.
“Are you hungry?”
“Famished. How is Amelia?”
“She’s much better with the goat milk,” Melanie informed him, smiling knowingly as she met his eyes. “And I finally opened my gift that you’d put on the dresser. Thank you again. The shawl is breathtaking and very kind of you.”
“I wanted you to have something nice that was your own here,” he said quietly, peering into the cradle before picking up the baby. “How’s my girl? Huh? Are you feeling better?” he crooned to the child. Melanie watched him nuzzle the baby tenderly as he kissed her forehead while Amelia grasped at his pinky finger. The two of them were beyond precious together.
“I want to make this my home and this is my way of saying thank you for taking a chance on me… Chance,” she grinned, realizing that she’d used his name twice in one breath. He looked up in surprise and she saw the pleased expression on his face just before it was shuttered away.
“Of course, this is your home now,” he said quietly, putting Amelia down before taking a seat. “You are my new wife and if you need something, just let me know.”
“I appreciate that.”
Melanie quickly made him a plate of the roast and root vegetables she’d prepared from the pantry and cellar of the house, as well as several Johnny cakes. Setting it before him, his eye shot up to her.
“Please tell me you like roast,” she whispered in dawning horror at the stunned look on his face as he glanced up at her in surprise. “I used a little vinegar to make it tender and made a gravy of the drippings special for it. If you don’t like turnips, there are carrots too – I just prefer turnips because of the flavor.”
“I haven’t had this since before I married Beth,” he admitted in a quiet voice, staring at her. “Beth wasn’t much of a cook but made up for it in other areas. We never brought anything to the church socials in town because of it. I would just supply the whiskey for the men that wanted it.”
“She didn’t cook for you?”
“No.”
“She didn’t take care of you or welcome you home?”
“No,” he repeated as if he was uttering a blasphemy, before looking away.
Melanie stood there nervously waiting before he looked back up at her. Chance held her gaze, looking almost afraid and unsure of what to say or do. She began wringing her hands in her apron as if there was something on them, unsure and feeling insecure. She liked this open expression from him and didn’t want to cause it to end, but having his intense eyes on her made her feel something that she expected to acknowledge and could only hope for.
She liked her new husband – a lot.
“Are you nervous or worried too?” he whispered quietly, his eyes searching hers.
“I am,” she confessed in a rush.
“Have I made you that way?”
“Oh no,” she laughed, cracking a nervous smile. “I can do that all on my own,” and hesitated before asking the question that suddenly hit her. “Why are you nervous?”
“Because this is different and new to me.”
Nodding, she busied herself making her plate and sat down opposite of him as he began to eat. She didn’t want to pry.
They sat silently, the air heavy between them. The sounds of the forks and knives on the plates began to grate on her nerves and she wished he would say something – anything. He was devouring his dinner and she was glad he liked it. There was plenty and would make a delicious lunch tomorrow.
“I made you a surprise for dessert,” she revealed with a shy smile at him, feeling more secure that this was the right idea to make him a nice dinner. She wanted to have him feel at home with her there. Instead, he froze and got to his feet, the fork clattering onto the plate. He looked alarmed and swallowed hard, staring at her.
“What?” Melanie whispered, rising from her seat. “Have I done something wrong?”
“No. I’ve got to go back to the bar,” he said, backing away.
She came around the table and reached for his arm, tears burning at her eyes.
If she’d done something wrong, then she needed to know what it was. She felt so insecure right now and wanted so badly to fit in. She adored Amelia and realized just how lucky she was to have such a beautiful home, a lovely new child, and a handsome husband in her life. Instead, she felt as if he was shunning her attempts to be nice to him.
Was he running away from her?
“Chance?”
“No,” he bit out, twisting away his arm, out of her grip.
Melanie reared back and stared at him in horror as he finally looked at her.
“I just can’t,” he whispered painfully.
“What have I done?”
“Nothing.”
“Why are you leaving then?”
“It’s none of your business,” he said quietly. “I’m going back to work.”
“Is it… me?” she asked, dread filling her heart.
Maybe there was something that he just simply didn’t like about her. She knew he was mourning his dead wife and she was supposed to be mourning Herbert – but neither of them was here. They were starting afresh, weren’t they? Their marriage was born of convenience but couldn’t there be something more?
“No,” Chance said raggedly, staring at Melanie, “It’s definitely me.”
He stormed out the door into the night, shutting it loudly behind him.
Melanie felt her security and her heart crumble into a million pieces as she realized that this had been more important to her than she realized. She liked her new, kind husband and wanted him to like her in return. Now that was falling to the wayside and all her attempts to maintain the house or provide for him were pushed away – unwanted.
Amelia let out a soft cry as if she understood something was wrong.
Upset and ignoring the knot in her throat, she turned to pick up the baby to comfort her – as well as herself. Her new husband couldn’t stay away forever and was bound to return at some point. She’d been afraid to tell him of her own upcoming child and if this was his reaction to dinner… what would he do when he found out she was pregnant? A whimper of remorse and dread slipped past her lips as she numbly sat down in the rocker and stared at the door unseeingly.
Chance ran.
He knew it was the wrong thing to do but couldn’t help himself. He didn’t know what to say or do and the emotions running through him were terrifying. Melanie was so different from Beth… and it was like a cold bucket of water had been thrown into his face at the realization that he actually liked the change.
“Oh, dear God help me,” he prayed, sinking to his knees in the darkness, feeling horribly guilty. He had loved Beth with all his heart and Melanie was only here to take care of Amelia, but for the first time he looked at her like an actual person. He’d felt the urge to kiss her when she claimed to have made dessert for him.
He’d never had anyone fuss over him or make such a big deal of spending time with him. Melanie was smiling at him, happy to just be there, and Amelia seemed to be thriving wonderfully with her. Tonight was the first time his house actually felt like a home – ever – and he hadn’t realized what a difference there was between Beth and Melanie.
Beth liked having nice things and took pride in it. Her beautiful face lit up when he’d had the bathroom added onto the house. Everything had to be the best because if they had company, she wanted to make it known that they were well off. She had set her designs on getting one of those fancy wringers to help with the laundry after the baby came. She’d liked having nice dresses and lovely things – which was part of the reason he’d bought the extravagantly expensive shawl for Melan
ie.
He had assumed Melanie did too.
Instead, Melanie had greeted him like he was special in a threadbare calico dress that Beth would have tossed out for scrap… and he’d thought Melanie was beautiful in it. There were so many differences he was noticing between the women and discovering that while Beth was wonderful – there were aspects of Melanie that were just as enchanting, but in different ways.
Beth was like a bright beautiful light that burned fierce and bright.
Gone too soon too, he realized.
Melanie had a warm glow that was inviting to her. There was an openness in her face that made you want to look at her, to smile at her. It was like she knew that if she tried hard enough, she was going to make you happy – and Chance wasn’t sure he wanted to be the focus of that attention.
Last night’s debacle with the infant made him feel like such a horrible parent and he’d wanted to help however he could, but was helpless to do anything. Instead, he’d made sure that Melanie had her things laid out and drew a bath for them so they could clean up. The memories of Beth’s face had haunted him – as it did now – only they were mixed in with visions of Melanie caring for his daughter, her eyes full of love.
He’d loved his wife, loved touching her and being around her… but now it alarmed him that he was finding himself attracted to his new wife. Maybe he was just a horrible person deep down inside and perhaps this was all just a huge mistake on his part, but it was too late to turn back the clock. He was married and Melanie deserved better than how he’d treated her so far.
“What am I going to do?”
Chapter 8
Melanie sat there stonily in the rocker, glaring at the door while the baby slept in the nearby room. She was beyond tired, sore in her muscles and her heart, and had a bone to pick with her new husband. It had been three days since she’d seen him, and the chicken hadn’t bothered to return home.
How dare he!
Mail Order Melanie Page 5
