She had been nothing but kind in the twenty-four hours or so up to his abrupt departure. She’d been pooped on, spit up on, scrubbed her hands until they were raw, cooked and cleaned, only to be rejected? He’d wanted this marriage and she’d fell right into his trap. The man wanted a maid and a nanny - but she wasn’t good enough to be a companion?
Well he had another thing coming!
She was heartily sick to her core at the idea of someone looking past her once again. Herbert did it all the time, telling her to ‘calm down’ or ‘make herself presentable’… or even claiming that she was going to have a boy because that was her duty to him. She’d done as he had said because she was naïve and didn’t want to upset her husband.
That naïve girl died with Herbert.
She hadn’t realized how downtrodden she felt under Herbert’s thumb, and she wasn’t about to let someone else make her feel like ‘less’ once again. It was time to have a talk with her new husband and the longer it took, the angrier she was getting.
Sally and Rebecca had come by earlier in the day for a visit and to check on the baby. At first, Melanie had been overjoyed at being reunited with her friend and discovering she lived right next door, but then she found herself weeping, telling them both what had happened.
“We’ll it takes a cold man to marry right after his wife dies,” Sally harrumphed, crossing her arms over her chest as Rebecca poured three cups of coffee, nodding in agreement.
“You should have seen how quickly he dumped the baby on me!”
“What?” Melanie gaped, looking at the other woman.
“You heard me – Chance deposited the baby on my doorstep and claimed he knew nothing about children. Sounds like to me he knows nothing about a lot of things.”
“Especially women,” Sally crowed knowingly.
“Or how to treat them,” Rebecca confirmed, taking a seat beside her older sister. The two of them looked nothing alike, but some of their mannerisms were identical. Both had an eyebrow perched high up on their forehead in a skeptical look as they turned to look at Melanie in unison.
“You know what you should do?”
“What?”
“You ought to see what kind of bar he actually has – I wonder if he lied about that?” Sally began, taking a sip of the coffee. “Pass the sugar, please.”
“He’s never lied to me before.”
“And you’ve known him how long?” Sally asked, dropping two cubes into her cup with audible plops. That eyebrow hiked up even higher as she stared at Melanie knowingly.
“I see your point.”
“I’m just telling you the truth, child. Does he know about the baby yet?”
“You are pregnant?” Rebecca asked, stunned, her head swirling from her sister to Melanie in disbelief. “My goodness he works fast! That rutting dog – who would have known?”
“He hasn’t touched me,” Melanie protested, stunned and mortified at the direction the conversation was going. “And he isn’t a rutting dog, Rebecca. He’s actually very kind. I just haven’t found the right time to tell him about my baby.”
“That is some secret to keep,” Rebecca admonished gently. “I know Chance is nice. Beth was my best friend and used to complain about her wifely duties. It was an easy assumption. I’m sorry. I’m glad he is nice to you.”
“He hasn’t touched me. We sleep in separate rooms.”
“You should tell him right away,” Sally coached. “If you are having problems already, having another child in the house won’t make them any easier. You ought to get everything off of your chest and have a heart-to-heart with the man. Secrets never go well into a marriage.”
“I know that I would,” Rebecca said with an emphatic nod.
“What if he turns me out?”
“He won’t because of Amelia,” Rebecca interjected quickly. “He’s too scared to lose his daughter and he doesn’t know the first thing about children.”
“I can’t really blame him for missing his wife.”
“Beth was a sweetheart but pushy as could be. If she wanted something, she made sure she got her way. Why do you think the house is so nice and fancy? It’s not because Chance is rich-it’s because he worked himself to the bone to provide it all for her.”
“So why is he still doing it?”
“You tell me.”
“I’d rather have him spend time with me so we can get to know each other,” Melanie said softly, staring at her coffee cup and sloshing the dark fluid gently in the cup. “I like him.”
“Did you tell him that?”
“No. He left.”
“When he comes back, I’d tell him that and set him down firmly. Apparently the man likes being told what he is supposed to be doing and feels lost without someone in charge.”
“You really think so?”
“He doesn’t seem like a measly fellow, but maybe he just wants to know where he stands with you. Losing a wife or husband does things to a person. It’s a change no one ever expects or anticipates, and there are so many feelings. He could be feeling glad, angry, guilty, or perhaps he truly misses Beth. Who knows? There are two sides to every story. How do you feel about losing Herbert?”
“I’m glad,” she whispered painfully. “I didn’t realize how mean he could be to me until Chance. He was kind in ways I never expected. He’s thoughtful and considerate where Herbert used to shame me or grope at me.”
“Would you marry him again?”
“No,” Melanie whispered in full confession, not looking up at her neighbors.
“Would you marry someone like him again?” Sally asked again, this time with more force in her voice, as if she wanted to hear it again and needed Melanie to believe it.
“No,” Melanie repeated firmly.
“Then don’t let Chance be mean to you in any way or fashion at all. You want my advice? Tell him what you expect out of a marriage with him, what it is that you want, and what you hate – and I would go ahead and tell him about the baby too, because you aren’t going to be able to hide it much longer,” Sally ordered in a steely voice.
“Are you sure?”
“What do you think?”
“I’d tell him,” Rebecca said with a shrug. “It’s not like it would change things. The baby is coming whether Chance likes it or not. You might as well give him more time to get used to it and get over any feelings he might have about it.”
“What if he is angry about the baby?”
“Will that change anything either? Will you still be pregnant if he gets upset? Exactly,” Sally said bluntly. “Now, where’s that cake you made?”
Two weeks later, after sleeping on a cot on at the bar, Chance knew he’d messed things up badly between them. He wanted to go home. He missed Melanie’s smile and wanted to see his daughter. The guilt and fear that he felt was still there, still present in his mind, but it was being quickly overshadowed by another feeling.
He was lonely and longed to see Melanie’s smile.
He had never felt so broken and so alone as he did now. He knew she would never forgive him. Others in town were eyeing him as word was spreading quickly. He’d run away from his new wife and child. It was shameful and ate at him. Pastor Franklin actually stepped foot inside the bar and asked him to join him outside so they could talk.
“I hear your daughter is doing well,” Pastor Franklin began, causing Chance to glance up. “You look awful, son, and need to get a good night’s sleep.”
“I feel even worse,” Chance admitted.
“I’ve heard.”
“I’m sure everyone has.”
“It’s not too late, you know? If you think about it, you’ve both been through quite a trauma. The greatest healer is time and acceptance – and you cannot rush either of them, no matter how hard you try. Do you like your new bride? Melanie seems to have a good head on her shoulders from what I’ve heard from Rebecca. She’s the one who suggested I talk some sense into you.”
“Melanie is very nice,” Chance answered honestly.
>
“Then give her time and ask her to take you back,” he coached. “Tell her what is in your heart and what’s on your mind. Share with her because I promise you – she’s dealing with the same emotions. Remember, she lost her husband just as you lost your wife.”
“I don’t think she wants to see me.”
“How do you know? You are hiding here and she is tucked away in your home. Alone.”
“She’ll probably toss me out on my ear.”
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble,” Pastor Franklin said softly in a reverent voice. “Lay bare your soul and accept what happens, Chance. You must grasp your happiness with both hands, not run away and hide. Live up to your name, son,” he chuckled, before patting him on the back.
“Take a chance… Chance. Bring her flowers, be humble, and tell her how you are feeling. The rest will come in time,” the pastor said with a wink. “I hear women love flowers.”
“Thank you for the advice.”
“Always.”
Chapter 9
Hearing a noise as she reminisced about her visit yesterday afternoon, she realized someone was on the porch. She sat there, eerily still, as she glanced up at the clock. It was nearly midnight and entirely too late for him to be returning. If he was drunk, she might take the baby and go to Rebecca’s house.
The door opened slightly and she saw his expression.
A mix of surprise and instant regret.
Good, she thought.
“Is everything alright?” he said quietly, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. He kept a hand on the handle as if he knew he’d done wrong and was ready to bolt once again. He had a fistful of wildflowers that had seen better days.
“You tell me,” she said flatly, and saw him wince.
“Melanie, I think we need to talk.”
“I would agree, Chance,” she retorted, using his name too. He opened his mouth and closed it again, releasing the door handle. He set the ragged bouquet on the table, pulling a chair in front of her, where she sat in the rocker before the fireplace. He sat down and rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward before letting his head drop.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a hushed voice.
“Me too,” Melanie said painfully. “I have a lot to say about how my idea of this marriage should be and everything I felt like I should have said, should have told you, or what I am thinking now, all ends with an ‘I’m sorry’ that feels like it’s not enough. We need to talk and there probably will be quite a few ‘I’m sorry’s’ said in the next ten minutes,” she said painfully, her voice tight. There must have been something to it, because he looked up at her and she saw his eyes were glossy with unshed tears.
“I never intended to hurt you or make you feel unwelcome.”
“But you did and its unforgivable,” Melanie replied, “Because that is what my husband did before to me. Herbert was horrible to me and here I was feeling so blessed, so lucky that you were so kind and gentle towards me. You hurt me, Chance and we hadn’t even really begun our marriage.”
“I was trying to be nice to you – and you ran away.”
“I had a lot on my mind.”
“I have a lot on mine right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No,” Melanie said angrily, reaching for one of his hands. “We aren’t apologizing yet, because we are going to talk about everything in our past and discuss our future – if there is one.”
“What do you mean?” Chance said, paling as he stared at her, alarmed.
“I have things I need to get off my chest that cannot wait.”
“So, talk to me,” he pleaded, staring at her as he reached for her other hand, holding it. Melanie felt tears prick her eyes at the sweet gesture. Herbert never held her hand, much less both of them. This felt like he was actually trying to form a bond – a first for them both.
“I expected to come into this marriage with so many hopes, so many dreams, and you shattered them all when you walked out two weeks ago. I wanted a husband who would smile at me, be my friend and companion, knowing that we were strangers, but that a mutual love for his daughter could perhaps bring us together.”
“I’d like that too.”
“Do you?” she questioned painfully, sniffing. “Because friends don’t walk out on each other or abandon them during their time of need. I’m still reeling from the last few weeks and could have used a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, but you left. Don’t you have things that eat at your soul that bother you? Don’t you need to share them with someone – because that someone is supposed to be me,” Melanie bit out emphatically. “I’m your wife now whether you want to admit it or not.”
Chance took a deep breath and stared at her. His thumbs gently touched the back of her hands as he held them in his own. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, nodding silently.
“Talk to me,” Melanie ordered.
“I’m sorry but I’m trying,” Chance said softly, looking lost. “You are my wife now – and you are right. I should be talking to you and reaching out to you for comfort, but it’s hard to share what is in my heart when it’s painful. I loved Beth and I won’t apologize for that…”
“I would never ask you to,” Melanie interjected softly, swallowing hard.
“She was sweet, kind, and I never deserved her. Marrying her brought on the best and worst things that could ever happen to me as a man. She gave me Amelia and then I had to bury her unexpectedly. She suffered horribly – because of me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Beth used to tell me that I was bothering her with my attentions… and when she became pregnant, she told me she was scared of childbirth. I never listened and thought it was just some ramblings to get something else for the house. You see, that is how she got what she wanted. She knew I loved her and used it. She would cry or get mad and I would make it up to her somehow… but then she died… ” Chance said thickly, a tear rolling down his cheek as he stared at Melanie, horrified.
“She actually died,” he repeated as if he still couldn’t believe it. “I was standing there after so many hours of her screaming and putting the blame on me for making her pregnant when the doctor handed me Amelia. I cried so much,” he grimaced painfully, smiling at the memory.
“I’m sorry,” Melanie whispered the moment he stopped to take a breath.
“Amelia was the most wrinkled, ruddy child that I’d ever seen, and shrieking like you wouldn’t believe. She had her mama’s lungs,” he mused lightly; his sad smile was breaking her heart as Melanie began to understand how painful this all was for him to relive, as another tear rolled down his cheeks silently.
“There was nothing the doctor could do and Beth died right there, blaming me. She never asked to see the baby. Deep down I knew she blamed the both of us. The only thing I could do was stare at the whole scene in horror. She bled out, growing weaker and weaker by the minute, cursing me. There was so much blood,” Chance whispered, staring at their hands where they held on to each other.
“I took the baby to Rebecca’s because I didn’t know what to do and I see now that I wasn’t thinking clearly. Days passed, and I realized I owed it to Beth to give our child everything I could, but I couldn’t do it all. I needed help… and got you.”
Melanie started to pull her hands back angrily at the soft-spoken sentence, but Chance wouldn’t let go. Instead, he held fast and met her eyes openly.
“I got a woman who has a heart of gold and knew how to love Amelia unconditionally. Someone who was good and nice, treating me like I was something wonderful instead of some monster who’d killed his wife.”
“You didn’t kill Beth.”
“I can’t help feeling guilty about it,” he confessed. “Nor can I help how scared I am at messing up a new marriage with you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not perfect,” Melanie interjected immediately, tugging at her hands once again. Instead, Chance laced his fingers with hers and smil
ed softly at her.
“Nope,” he ordered. “You were right. We need to talk and I’m not letting you run away like I did. It doesn’t help things, but talking about them with someone you trust does.”
“I’m not that good of a person,” Melanie whispered, fearfully. “My husband died and it was terrible. Someone suggested I poisoned him, but I wouldn’t have done it. I couldn’t have, Chance. Life is too precious to me.”
“I believe you,” he whispered firmly.
“Why? How?”
“Because I’ve seen how you are with me and with my daughter. If there were any doubts in my mind at how you would treat Amelia, then you wouldn’t be here. I might be scared of a relationship with you, but I trust you deep down inside with my daughter, and that says a lot to me.”
“She’s a joy.”
“She’s a poop machine,” he chuckled lightly, looking at Melanie shyly. “You have a good heart and the way you cradled her against you made me realize that even though I loved Beth, she wouldn’t have done the same thing. Amelia needed her mother - but I think she needs you more. You can love her at her worst and it’s okay. I will have to be okay with it because it’s what’s best for us both no matter how hard it is or how much the truth hurts.”
The raw words dragged from his lips felt so painful, and she knew how hard it was for him to say them out loud. He looked at her, his dark eyes shining and full of emotion.
“I’m not a perfect man, Melanie, but I am truly glad you are with us.”
Melanie felt a tug on her hands as he pulled her towards him infinitely slowly, like time was standing still. She saw his dark eyes focused on her lips and couldn’t help but memorize how he looked in the firelight. How had she ever thought he wasn’t good-looking?
He was beyond breathtaking and utterly perfect, both inside and out.
As he got closer, she felt him take a deep breath, knowing this was monumental for him – as well as her. She’d never kissed another man other than her husband, Herbert, and there would be no going back for them once they’d crossed that line.
“May I?” he whispered softly, as if he was asking permission. His breath brushed her lips with an exquisite softness that made her heart flop in her chest. He was such a gentleman, so nice to her, that she felt herself melt at the idea of him asking if a simple kiss was okay.
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