Mind Games

by T. K. Leigh

  “Asher,” I manage to say, my veins throbbing with the electric current burning through me. “I don’t—”

  “Touch yourself,” he orders gruffly, cutting me off. “I want to feel your pussy clench around me.”

  A slave to his demand, I lower my hand between my legs, toying with my clit. My teeth clench with the unmatched desire seizing me. The idea of touching myself while Asher fucks me is all I need to come undone, my world crumbling into a thousand pieces of the most brilliant light.

  “Yes,” he hisses. “Like that.” He picks up his pace, his hand squeezing my thigh, spreading me more, his punishing grip only serving to increase my pleasure. “So. Damn. Good.” Each word is punctured with another thrust until he climaxes, a suppressed roar ripping through the room.

  The tremors overtaking his body match my own in intensity. I can’t remember sex ever being like this. I’m not naïve by any stretch of the imagination. I’ve had my fair share of a variety of relationships, from committed to one-night stands and everything in between. But it’s never been like this. This powerful. This inspiring. This explosive. I wonder if Asher feels the same way. By the way he struggles to catch his breath, the way his heart pounds against my back, the way he seems to be speechless, I imagine he probably does.

  A ringtone cuts through our heavy breaths, and I sigh at the confirmation that the blackout is over. I glance at my watch on the nightstand to see it’s after nine. As much as I’d love to stay in this bed all day, I need to pack my things and get to the airport. I have to get home today.

  “Aren’t you going to answer that?” I ask when Asher doesn’t make any move.

  “I wasn’t planning on it. I’d hoped to stay right here with my cock inside you as long as I can. Then when my happy warrior snaps to attention, I’ll already be in position.”

  I laugh, wiggling my butt against him as the ringing stops. “Well, maybe I should help him along.”

  “He’s a little spent right now, but I’m sure he can be coaxed into playing again very soon.” He nips at my shoulder blade. “Maybe in the shower.”

  “Mmm. I can get on board with that.”

  When his phone rings again, he groans.

  “You should get that. Whoever it is must have an important reason to try you twice in a row.”

  “They should know better than to call me in the morning.”

  “True.” I shimmy away as he slides out of me. Facing him, I feather my lips against his. “But I’ll make you a deal. You answer your phone, then come join me in the shower where you can wash every inch of me clean. And I do mean every…” I drag my tongue along his jawline. “Single.” I dig my fingers into his chest. “Inch.” My mouth covers his before I scoot off the bed and pad toward the bathroom.

  Just before I disappear behind the door, I glance over my shoulder, giving myself a mental high-five when I see his erection spring back to life.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “You’re insatiable, Izzy,” Asher struggles to say, our breathing even more ragged after the strenuous effort it takes to have sex in a shower. It’s not as easy as romance novels make it seem. You need to be in damn good shape to keep your body upright. Thankfully, Asher is in amazing shape, his flexing muscles able to support my sated frame with ease.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I reply, kissing him, my skin still tingling.

  He practically has to peel my legs from around his waist as he steps away, helping me find my footing. My balance is a little unsteady from the amount of sex we’ve had the last several hours. In the past six months, I don’t think I’ve had sex the number of times I have these past six hours. A girl could get used to this.

  After rinsing off one last time, he places a soft kiss on my forehead. “I’ll let you finish showering on your own.”

  “Oh really?” I pout dramatically. “You really want to leave this?” I step under the stream, allowing it to cascade over my breasts.

  Asher’s in front of me in a heartbeat, yanking my body against his. He seals his mouth over mine, water falling over him, me, and our kiss before he pulls away, chest heaving. “I don’t want to leave you, but if I don’t walk away now, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you. Then I’ll have to kidnap you and keep you here forever.”

  “You won’t hear any complaints from me.”

  “Me, either.” Leaving me with a delicate kiss on my temple, he opens the shower door and grabs a towel, securing it around his waist.

  God, there’s nothing sexier than Asher York wearing only a towel, droplets of water gleaming on his body.

  I steal a glance as he pauses in front of the long vanity, briefly leaning his arms against the counter. He closes his eyes, blowing out a long breath. It’s a fleeting expression of remorse, but it still hits me, reminds me of the reality of what we’ve done.

  Once he walks out of the bathroom, I finish showering as quickly as possible. I don’t have much time left before I need to get to the airport to catch my flight. When I checked the status, it showed on time, much to my surprise.

  As I towel off my hair, Asher reappears in the doorway of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of jeans and t-shirt. “Hey.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, leaning on the doorjamb.

  “Hey.”

  “So, I need to tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out.”

  “Okay…” My response is drawn-out as I straighten my spine, re-securing the towel wrapped around my body.

  He pushes off the wall, his eyes averted. From this alone, I can sense I’m not going to like what he’s about to say. He runs his hands through his hair that’s still damp from our sex-filled shower. On a long exhale, he slowly lifts his gaze to meet mine.

  “That was Jessie on the phone.”

  My pulse increases slightly. Since I stepped foot into the studio last night, I haven’t thought of Jessie more than a fleeting comparison in size. Based on the expression on Asher’s face, I have a feeling that’s about to end.

  “And?” I ask, my voice trembling.

  He doesn’t say anything right away, simply stares at me. Then he sighs. “He’s downstairs.”

  “What?”

  My heart plummets to the pit of my stomach, frantic eyes searching his for an indication that this is a joke. That this isn’t real. But all I see is the same honesty I always have from Asher. He wouldn’t lie to me, not about this.

  “How?” I push past him, darting toward my suitcase. I hastily throw all my items back into it, a need to get out of this house overtaking me. “Do you think he knows?”

  “Of course not. Pretty sure he would have greeted me with a broken nose instead of a hug.”

  “Then why—”

  He places his hands on my biceps in an attempt to placate me, but nothing can. This all just got real. A little too real. I knew what I was getting into last night. Knew the ramifications, but ignored them. The blackout bubble seduced me into thinking we wouldn’t suffer the consequences of our actions. At least not anytime soon. For once, I chose to live in the moment. And now we’ll both have to pay the price.

  “He heard about the blackout and came out to check on me.”

  “From Boston? How did he get a flight if the airport just reopened?”

  He licks his lips, his gaze steady, expression calm. “Because he doesn’t live in Boston anymore.” He swallows hard. “He lives in Los Angeles. He’s…” He hesitates. “He’s my manager.”

  My body freezes, his words a punch to the gut. “Your manager?” I squeak out, blindsided.

  Granted, I never asked who his manager was, or if he even had one, but considering my history with Jessie, you’d think Asher would have mentioned that little tidbit of information. It’s not just a familial relationship I’m dealing with here. Asher and Jessie have a professional relationship, too. It’s like learning the guy I just had amazing sex with is my ex’s new boss. But it’s worse with us, because I should have known better. Now, there’s so much more at stake than I ever coul
d have imagined.

  “Yes.” He doesn’t embellish any further, but he doesn’t need to. It makes sense. Jessie was a business major, a natural salesman. He could charm the squirrels out of the trees in the dead of winter, even though they knew it was their only means of protection against the elements. Not to mention, right after college, Jessie worked as a client specialist for a talent agency in Boston. He understands the business side of the music industry. There’s no one else Asher would trust with his career. It was always their plan.

  I shake off his touch, shrinking into myself. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It didn’t seem like it mattered.”

  “Didn’t seem like it mattered?” I repeat, my voice rising in pitch. I quickly lower it, unsure where Jessie is. For all I know, he could be eavesdropping outside the door. “It matters. It matters a lot. So… What? You let Jessie in and then came up to fuck me one last time before dropping this bomb?” My disbelief at this situation growing, I grab the first pair of pants I find in my disheveled suitcase and yank them on, not caring I’m not wearing any underwear.

  “It’s not like that, Iz. I’m as surprised as you are. I bought us a little time and have him in the studio, listening to some demos I’ve written for a solo album I have in the works.”

  I slow my motions, finding solace in the fact that Jessie’s locked away in the opposite end of the house. Then memories from last night float back and my eyes widen.

  “Asher! My pants and tank top are in there! They have my perfume all over them. The same perfume I wore back in college. The same perfume he bought me repeatedly. If he picks them up and—”

  “Relax,” he soothes, running his hands down my arms. “I grabbed them and brought them back up here before letting him in.” He nods at the pants I just tugged on. “You’re wearing them.”

  “That still doesn’t make this okay.” I push out of his hold, grabbing a bra and slipping it on, facing away from Asher. It’s not like he hasn’t seen me naked. For the past several hours, that’s the only way he’s seen me. But I feel exposed, especially now that we’ve been propelled into the real world, facing the consequences of sleeping together. After tugging on a shirt, I add, “You should have told me.”

  “Would that have changed anything?”

  I whirl around to face him, my mouth agape. How do I answer that? Would it have changed anything? Would I have wanted Asher any less than I did last night?

  When he reaches for my face and brushes his fingers against my skin, I can’t help but melt into the contact. One touch is all I need to reassure me that his intentions were noble, even if the outcome was less than desirable. Maybe I’m just overreacting. Did his omission really do any harm? I can’t see how.

  “I understand I should have mentioned it. But I didn’t want to burst our bubble. Wanted to prevent you from enduring any heartache.” He brings his lips toward mine, and I sigh at the promise of his kiss. “Just like I tried to do all those years ago.”

  I melt into him, digging my hands into his hair, his words wrapping around me like a blanket. I stiffen, pushing against him, eyes wide as the meaning in his statement sinks in.

  “What did you say?”

  Disoriented, he blinks repeatedly. This time, he’s at a loss for words. “I—”

  “What heartache did you want to prevent all those years ago?” I step back, eyeing him with suspicion, a knot tightening in my stomach.

  “I…,” he stammers, his breathing quickening.

  “What heartache did you want to prevent?” I ask again through clenched teeth, my temper flaming. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to. The answer is etched in the worry lines on his face. In his pleading eyes. In the hard bob of his Adam’s apple.

  I back up. It makes perfect sense. I always wondered why Asher argued vehemently against my decision to surprise Jessie. Now I know why.

  “Oh, my god. You knew. That’s what you mean, right? When you said you tried to prevent my heartache, you’re talking about that night, aren’t you?”

  Again, he remains silent. What is there to say?

  “How could you keep that from me? You knew what I was walking into, yet—”

  “No.” He darts his eyes to mine, that vein in his neck throbbing. His fists clench, every muscle in his body vibrating with a passion I’ve yet to see in another person. Even him. “I had no idea what you were walking into.”

  “But—”

  “Maybe you’ve forgotten, because the story you told last night left out quite a few things.”

  “I didn’t think it was necessary to go into all the gory details.”

  “Really?” Defensive, he folds his arms across his chest. “Is that why Chloe didn’t even seem to know what happened? Why she appeared just as interested in the story as someone who’d never heard it? Because you didn’t think it was necessary to go into ‘all the gory details’ with one of your dearest friends when it happened? Don’t you always say that keeping the truth is as bad as lying?”

  “That’s not the same, and you know it. The details didn’t involve Chloe.”

  What can I say to him? That the reason I left out so many details was because of what I feared it would finally reveal. That the real reason I ran out on Jessie wasn’t because he sought comfort in another woman’s embrace. After all, I did play a part in pushing him there. It was because, as I sat waiting for him, I found myself staring at a photo of Asher and me together, my mother’s words ringing around me.

  “How will I know if he owns my heart?”

  “You’ll just…know.”

  “How?”

  “You’ll see it in his eyes. You’ll see a piece of yourself staring back at you.”

  That was when I realized I’d allowed myself to fall in love with two men. While I saw a piece of myself staring back at me from Jessie’s eyes, it was no match to the giant piece looking back from Asher’s penetrating gaze.

  “You kept something from me that affected me directly,” I continue.

  “How was I supposed to know you wanted to reconcile with him? According to what both you and Jessie told me about the fight you had before Christmas break, it seemed you’d written him off. Hell, he said you tried to give back the ring, but he begged you to keep it.”

  “All the more reason he shouldn’t have sought out his ex,” I snip back.

  “Agreed, but you also can’t stand there and blame me for this. I figured you were so adamant about seeing Jessie so you could officially end this chapter, not start a new one.” He shakes his head, swallowing hard. “I didn’t even stop to consider you might still want to be with him after refusing to talk to him all of Christmas break.”

  “Maybe you should have,” I say in a shaky voice. “Like you should have thought about telling me what you knew about Jessie.”

  “I did think about it, goddammit!” He slams his hand into the wall, frustration radiating from his fist, spreading up his tense arm and through the rest of his body. “I’m not saying what Jessie did was right, but he was in a really bad place. I wanted to tell you Candace had started circling like a hawk again.” His head hangs as he expels a breath.

  “Then why didn’t you?”

  It’s not the fact that he kept this from me that has betrayal flowing through my body. Once I’d realized my feelings for Asher, I knew I could never be with Jessie again. It’s the realization of the truth that’s been screaming at me ever since I first felt myself falling victim to Asher’s hypnotic spell. Since I realized I’d fallen in love with him all those years ago.

  He will always choose Jessie. I shouldn’t be surprised. And I can’t blame him for it. They’re brothers. Family. I’m no one.

  “Jessie’s my brother.” His voice is choked as he brings his eyes back to mine. “I couldn’t betray him like that.”

  All I can do is nod at his confirmation of my suspicion, the lump in my throat bordering on painful, cutting off my oxygen. This is the reason I walked away all those years ago. And the reason I
should have walked away the other night at the bar. There is no possible way for us to have a happy ending. Not when it means hurting someone we both love. And despite it all, I do still love Jessie. At least the Jessie he was when we dated.

  A loud chiming cuts through the tension, causing Asher to flinch. I have no reason to believe it, other than a feeling in my gut, but I know the alert is a text from Jessie. I don’t say a word, just glance at the outline of a cellphone in Asher’s pocket. I can tell he’s struggling between staying in the moment with me and seeing what his brother wants. When it chimes again, he groans, yanking it out.

  “You should go,” I say softly, turning from him. “Distract him. I’ll finish packing and be out of your way so you don’t have to keep him hidden.”

  “Please, Izzy. I don’t want to leave you like this. What can I do to make up for it? I’ll do anything.”

  I glance over my shoulder as I’m about to disappear into the bathroom. “We both know there’s nothing you can do. Jessie will always come between us. We were fooling ourselves to hope otherwise.”

  “He doesn’t have to. We don’t have to let him.”

  I force a smile, although my heart is breaking. I step toward him, a breath away. “I think you already have.”

  He parts his lips, but I place a finger over his mouth, silencing him. Then I hoist myself onto my toes, kissing him one last time. A lone tear slides down my cheek at the finality of it all. He senses it, too, his chin quivering.

  “Goodbye, Asher.” Lowering myself to my heels, I walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. It’s silent for a moment, not so much as the rustling of his clothes or shuffling of his feet across the carpet.

  Then his phone chimes again, the sound striking against the stillness.

  “Fuck,” he groans, his footsteps loud as he storms out of the room, slamming the door. I remain still for several long moments, unsure if Asher’s frustration is aimed at me or Jessie. I get the feeling it’s the latter.