Alpha

by Jus Accardo

  “That’s not what’s bothering you.”

  Her tone was even, and her posture relaxed, but she was upset. I saw it in her eyes. And why the hell wouldn’t she be? I’d tried to kill her. “There’s nothing I can say, Sera. Not a damn thing.”

  “Why do you feel like you need to say something?”

  I lifted my empty cup and stared at her over the rim. The reddish mark across the front of her throat had started turning bluish purple. Every time I looked at her, it was all I saw. “Why would I need to say something after trying to kill you? Is that really what you’re asking me?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You didn’t try to kill me.”

  “Were you there? Because I’m pretty sure—”

  “Don’t you think I heard you?” She leaned across the table and grabbed my hands. I was tempted to pull them away, but her touch was so warm. So soft. “The nights you’d wake from a dead sleep screaming. How you’d throw yourself around the cell, fighting an enemy only you could see?” She straightened. “You won’t tell me what they did. Fine. But I can imagine. That kind of thing takes time to get over. And with what Karl said—”

  “You don’t get it.” That time I did pull my hands from hers. “Time isn’t going to change anything. I’m not going to get over it.” I slammed my fist into the side of my head. “They broke me. Went in and messed up all the wires. I’m barely human now. I opened my eyes on that street, and I saw her. I saw Cora—and in that moment, I would have stopped at nothing to kill her. In case you’ve forgotten, that her was you.”

  “You act like I’m clueless.” Her lips twisted into a scowl. Even glaring at me like she was, pissed off and putting up with none of my shit, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. She shook her head. “I know exactly who you are, G. We’re both screwed up. Maybe not in the same ways, but I have no illusions that you’re perfect. I have no delusions that we’ll ever live peaceful, boring lives—and I’m fine with that. Infinity will always be a dark cloud over our heads. The difference is, if we stick together, it won’t matter.”

  “It will always matter. My mood is too unpredictable. I could turn on you in a heartbeat.” I snorted. Cora always referred to me as a dog, and in that moment, I realized how true the comparison was. I was feral—borderline rabid—and I wouldn’t put Sera in danger just because I wanted her in my life.

  “I don’t believe you’d ever hurt me on purpose.” She folded her arms. “And that’s it. We’re done talking about it. Time to focus on Karl. Rattle off an idea. Anything.”

  I felt myself getting worked up. She could probably see it, too. This was her way of distracting me. “We shoot them both.”

  “That’s a nice thought.” Her lip hitched, and my heart sped up as she aimed her smile at me. “But probably not realistic. Next?”

  “Infinity? If anyone would have the tech Anderson wants, it’d be them.”

  “Better,” she said with a nod. “More specifically, Cora herself. Or that other guy. Phil? Rabbit? Whatever he’s called.” There was a note of uncertainty in her voice.

  “I know Cade said the other versions of Cora were nothing like the one we dealt with, but…” I didn’t want to go to Phil for help. She didn’t know it, but neither did she… “Maybe we could approach another version of Cora. Best to go right to the source.”

  “No.” She shook her head slowly, and I could see the fight in her eyes. There was a memory on the verge of breaking free. “He’s the better choice.”

  I pushed the chair away from the table and stood. There would be no dissuading her. I suppose we’d see just how badly Cora had tampered with her memories. “Let’s go Rabbit hunting.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sera

  Finding Rabbit was harder than we’d anticipated. It made me wonder how Cade and Noah did this for so long without going crazy. They’d been searching for not one person but technically five.

  We checked the phone directory and when the library opened the next morning, we hopped online. There was no trace of Phil MaKaden or Infinity in this version of Wells. There was—unfortunately—a listing for Cora Anderson.

  “Have I mentioned that I don’t love this idea?” We were standing on the sidewalk in front of the address we’d found for this world’s Cora Anderson. The place was a dump. A shack covered in spray-painted graffiti and a roof that looked ready to cave at any second. The lawn was overgrown, the tree branches all but lying across the front porch, and in several places, even growing through it.

  “I vote we bail.” G glared at the house like it might eat him. “There’s no way that any Cora Anderson living in this shit hole knows anything about multiverse travel.”

  I sighed. While I mostly agreed with him, we were already here. It would be stupid not to at least check. We had time to kill, anyway. We still had a little time left on the cooldown, and we’d spent the entire night at the table in the diner. Any longer and I was worried we might arouse suspicion. We didn’t know anything about this place, and the last thing we needed right now was to break some weird law and get tossed into jail again.

  Without another word, I forced my feet to move me forward and climb the rickety porch steps. Three knocks on the wooden door—there was no doorbell—and after a pause, the thing creaked open with a horrible wail. “Yeah?”

  “I—uh, hi.” It was Kori…only not. This version had onyx-colored hair and dark makeup. I couldn’t make out the specifics, but there was a tattoo on her right hand.

  She looked past me to G and smiled. “What can I do for you?” Her gaze raked over him, with her mouth open slightly and chest puffed out. She licked her lips, purposefully slow, and leaned a little closer as I fought the urge to knock her back.

  “Cora,” I snapped, irrationally irritated by the way she was leering at G. “We’re looking for Cora.”

  Kori shrugged and pushed open the door. “She’s coming off a three-day bender but, eh. You can try talking to her. Wouldn’t get too close, though, if I were you. Don’t think she’s seen the inside of a bathroom in a couple of days.” She led us down the hall to the living room, where this world’s Cora Anderson was splayed out on the couch, surrounded by empty liquor bottles. Standing unnecessarily close to G, Kori said, “I’ll be upstairs if you need anything.”

  G grabbed one of the bottles closest to us and lifted it to his nose. Cringing, he tossed the thing across the room. Next, he slammed his foot into the bottom of the couch. The whole thing shuddered, and Cora groaned. “Wake the hell up.”

  “This is just…weird,” I said.

  She wore a red polka-dot robe and, from the way it was hanging open in the front, nothing underneath. Her hair was matted down, and her face was streaked with old makeup. I couldn’t imagine the other Cora looking like this. With her pristine hair and expensive clothing, the most disheveled I’d ever seen her was when she’d once slapped me and a hair had slipped free from one of her bobby pins.

  G kicked the couch again, and this time her eyes flickered open. “Wha’s rong?”

  We both covered our noses as a blast of fetid breath wafted our way. “Jesus,” G snapped. “This is a waste of time.”

  I hated to give up, but he was right. This Cora couldn’t have found her way through an empty room, much less designed any kind of complicated tech. I scanned the small space, finding a clock above the door on the far wall. “Timer should be up by now.”

  G nodded and hitched a thumb back the way we came. “Let’s head outside. Skipping in a building makes me antsy.”

  I felt the same way. Dylan used to do it, and more times than not, we ended up inside another building. It was hard to explain to the inhabitants, not to mention dangerous. You could end up in someone’s living room or, say, in the jail cell of a murderer. There was a chance no matter where you were. Every version of Wells was different. Just because there wasn’t a building in the exact spot you were standing in on one Earth didn’t mean it wasn’t there on another. But why tempt fate? Chances were just better
outside.

  We closed the door behind us and walked to the middle of the front lawn. G lifted his arm, but hesitated. “Is this really what we’re gonna do? Bounce from place to place on the off chance we can hunt down this goddamned tech?”

  “What other choice do we have?”

  “We find Anderson and make him give us the flash drive.”

  “You said so yourself—the chances of Cora holding up her end of the deal are slim. What happens when we hand over the flash drive and she doesn’t keep her word?” Of course, the same could easily be said about Karl. Neither one of them was what I’d consider trustworthy. We needed some kind of insurance policy.

  “This whole thing—” G gasped and clutched his chest. “Fuck.”

  He dropped to the ground, and I went with him, grabbing his face in my hands and forcing his head up so that we were eye to eye. “Breathe,” I said, trying to keep the terror out of my voice. “Please just breathe. In. Out. In. Out.”

  He covered his mouth as a series of coughs racked his body. When he moved it away, his palm was covered in blood. “Probably not a good sign,” he said with a wheeze. He swiped the back of his hand across his lips, then ran it down the side of his jeans

  “Cade will find Dylan.” If he didn’t, I’d go after the bastard myself. “He’ll get the antidote.”

  With my help, he got back on his feet and woke the chip. But instead of pulling up the PATH menu, he looked at me. For what felt like an eternity, he just stared, gaze unflinching and attention intense. He was standing absolutely still.

  “G?”

  The movement of his chest as he breathed seemed to slow, then stop, and a flash of panic rolled through me. Just when I was sure he’d stopped breathing, he jerked forward, grabbing the back of my head and dragging me to him.

  His lips were like fire. They moved with fury and intent and sent a wave of warmth crashing through me. It only vaguely registered that we were still standing on Cora Anderson’s front lawn and that we should be moving, skipping off to our next destination to get Karl what he’d asked for. But I couldn’t bear to move away. This kiss was different than the first. It was desperation and passion, but also tasted of acceptance.

  Of goodbye.

  He didn’t believe he’d make it out of this alive.

  G was the one who broke away first, moving back just far enough so that I could see the golden flecks in his chocolate-colored eyes. He said nothing as he lifted his arm, eyes still locked on mine, and woke the chip.

  A moment later, we were someplace else.

  Chapter Fourteen

  G

  Two skips after we met drunken Cora Anderson, we finally caught a break. Phil MaKaden, or Rabbit, was alive and well on this world, as was Infinity. We’d landed in front of their building, a glass-covered skyscraper extending far into the clouds like some metal beanstalk. Above ground instead of below—I wanted to take it as a sign that they’d be different. That this skip would be different.

  Sera had looked Rabbit up and found him right away. One quick phone call and we were on our way to meet him. He all too enthusiastically agreed, leading us to believe he knew her on this world—which worried me.

  “So, what’s the story?” She kept trying to talk to me. I’d been giving her simple, short-and-sweet answers.

  “We go with the truth.”

  “And that is?”

  “That we need tech help.” We were on foot since we had no idea what kind of money public transportation used here. Thankfully Rabbit’s place wasn’t far. I picked up the pace, pulling ahead of her.

  She wasn’t having it. She caught up and grabbed my arm, yanking me to a stop. “Tell me what is going through your head right now.”

  “We don’t have time for this.” I pulled free and started forward again.

  She jumped in front of me. “Yeah. We do.” I tried to sidestep her, but she blocked me, bringing her hand to my cheek. It was warm and soft. “Since when do you not tell me what’s on your mind?”

  She had a point. I’d refused to tell her all the fucked-up things Cora and her team did to me, as well as the truth about my old life—including the fully intact memories I had of it—but I’d never held back what was going through my head. Even the stupidest things.

  …

  “Cheese,” I said out loud. Sera had been quiet for the last hour. I wanted to hear her voice.

  Needed to hear her voice.

  “Cheese?” Something rustled, and the cot in her cell scraped against the floor.

  “Yeah. Cheese. I miss cheese.”

  Sera snickered. “You don’t remember your name, but you remember cheese?”

  “Don’t you?”

  She thought about it for a minute, then said, “I think so. I want to say I loved cheddar.”

  “Brie is my favorite, I think. With tomato and garlic.”

  She laughed again. God. I’d sing show tunes in a chipmunk voice for hours if she’d just keep laughing like that. “That’s oddly specific.”

  “What about you? Is there anything you remember? Something that you miss?”

  “I know it’s weird, but I want to say peas.”

  “Peas?”

  “Yeah. I think I kind of loved peas.” I recognized the sound of her sliding down the wall to the floor. “I have this watery memory of this huge bowl of peas. There’s tiny slivers of carrot and caramelized onion…”

  “God. You’re making me hungry.”

  “Do you like peas?”

  “Honestly? I have no damn clue.”

  And despite the situation, and our rumbling bellies, we both broke out into hysterical laughter.

  …

  I sighed. Not telling her was stupid. I couldn’t hide it anymore. “It’s getting worse.”

  “It’ll be okay. Cade will—”

  “I’m not talking about the poison,” I said quietly. I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath, holding it to the slow count of five. When I blew out, I opened my eyes. Sera was still standing there, watching me. There wasn’t even the smallest hint of anger or fear in her expression. Just understanding and acceptance, and for some reason, that only made my anger worse. “I’m swinging in all directions every few seconds, and it’s giving me whiplash. Remember how Anderson said I had to basically lose my shit to activate the serum? It’s getting harder not to give in…”

  “That kiss on the other world—”

  I laughed. The sound was grating and cold. “If you knew what I’d really wanted to do to you…” I inhaled and held it again, this time to the count of seven. There was a small voice inside my head that kept fighting for my attention, but I tamped it further down, mesmerized by the expression on her face. “I wanted to tear you up—in the most painfully exciting ways.”

  “G—”

  I moved in closer, bringing my lips just shy of touching hers. “I know you’ve wondered what it would be like.” My pulse spiked as she inhaled sharply, the sound sending a thousand mind-numbing volts through my body. Pain wasn’t the only tool Cora had used to try pushing me over the edge. “I could show you. I could make you beg me to—”

  “Enough.” The sound her hand made as it connected with the side of my face echoed in my ears. The faint, lingering sting, along with her expression—a gut-turning mix of fury and understanding—had me backing away. “Snap the hell out of it.”

  “Sera, I—”

  Her expression softened. She took my hands and pulled me a bit closer. “This is the serum talking, not you.”

  God, I wanted that to be true. More than anything, I wanted it to be true. “How? How do you know that for sure?”

  She smiled, and it wasn’t tentative or forced. There was nothing fake about the grin currently aimed at me. A weapon. It was the only word I could muster to describe it. That smile was a nuclear weapon with the capability to obliterate all my doubts. All my self-hatred. “Because I know you. Now, come on. We need to keep moving.”

  And that was that. Argument, discussion—total cl
usterfuck—over.

  “I don’t think going to Rabbit is a good idea.”

  She frowned and let go of my hands. “I’ll admit the version we’re used to dealing with has always creeped me out—”

  “It’s more than that.” Fuck. Could I tell her? Should I? Was there even a chance I could do this and not attack the guy—especially in the frame of mind that I was?

  “It’s our best option right now.” She started forward and, when I didn’t follow, turned back and took my hand. With a squeeze, she was tugging me forward. Pulling me from the dark once again.

  …

  Rabbit’s place hadn’t been far, but it still took us almost twenty minutes to get there on foot. By the time we’d made it to his front door, the pressure was back in my chest and the inside of my cheek was raw and bloody from my teeth clenching down.

  I lifted my hand to knock, but the door swung open and a familiar face came into view. “Ava! I was so glad you called…” His gaze hit me, and his expression soured. “What’s he doing here?”

  “We need your help,” she said. Without waiting for an invitation, she shouldered past him and dragged me with her. “What do you know about Infinity?”

  He blinked. “Infinity? You mean the computer place in town?” Rabbit’s eyes narrowed, and his nose scrunched up. Like he’d smelled something offensive. “Or are we talking about what I offered you?”

  “Huh?” Sera glanced at me, then back to Rabbit. Something flashed in her eyes, and she took the smallest step back.

  “Are you—” Another round of chest spasms had me on my knees, coughing up what felt like both lungs. When I managed to get it under control, I swiped a hand across my mouth, quickly bringing it to my side to hide the red smear.

  Rabbit snorted. “He’s not looking good, Ava.”

  “He’s not good. That’s why we need your help.”

  “You’re asking me to help him? Seriously?”

  I used the wall to haul myself upward. “Did I piss in your damn Cheerios here? What the hell is your problem?”

  “You stole my girl, asshole.” He glared at Sera. “Something I’m still not over, by the way.”