Trouble on Main Street

by Kirsten Fullmer

  “I suppose not,” he replied with a genuine smile. He reached down to pat his ugly dog on the head.

  Something about his smile and the way his hand slid over his dog’s head caught her off guard, and her heart did a flip flop in her chest. The feeling was foreign, a long forgotten sensation, and for the life of her she couldn’t think of a thing to say.

  Chapter Six

  That afternoon the mayor came into the post office wearing his usual superior demeanor. Trailing behind him was poor Rachel, always with her notebook, trying to blend into the background. The dowdy woman stared at the floor and moved to one corner. Heidi had to wonder why the mayor made her follow him everywhere, like she was his personal assistant.

  Her attention came back to the mayor, and the man’s attitude in general pissed Heidi off. Wasn’t his outrageous suit and mustache enough? Now he’d added ridiculously expensive sunglasses to his look.

  He took in the post office lobby and his nostrils flared like he smelled something bad.

  Heidi wondered what his problem was. Had he missed the bloody package that lay back on her shelf? Did he know she had it? How was he connected?

  He sauntered to the counter. “Good morning, Mrs. Collinsworth, how are you today?”

  “Oh, I’m dandy,” she snapped, working to remain calm. She needed information from the man and she knew she was likely to get more flies with honey, but it was difficult when all she wanted to do was string him up and beat him with a broom. “How are you today, Mayor? Busy with your new construction project?"

  One eyebrow rose up over his sunglasses frame. “So, you’ve heard about our plans for Main Street.”

  Something about his tone set her on edge. “I have.” It was all she could do not to ask about the blood-smeared parcel.

  “And—obviously you have an opinion on the matter.”

  Once again Heidi reined in her emotions. “I do. Who wouldn’t when their home is going to be demolished?”

  The mayor smirked. “Why, who told you that?”

  “It’s going around town.”

  “Oh,” he admonished, stroking his beard. “Small town gossip.”

  “Is it true?” Heidi demanded, losing the battle with her emotional state.

  The mayor’s expression hardened. “I’m afraid that’s official city business, Mrs. Collinsworth. If you haven’t been privy to the details at this late date, then you need to stick with your little group of historical ladies and wait for the official announcement like everyone else.”

  She ground her teeth in frustration. The man was such a pompous jerk. “What can I do for you today, Mayor? Stamps?” she asked with a cold, false smile.

  “No, I came in for a certified letter,” he said, putting a yellow slip on the counter. “I received this today.”

  Relieved that he hadn’t asked about the parcel, she hurried away to find the letter.

  Heidi pounded the gavel but the women surrounding the table ignored her. “Ladies, please, come to order!” she shouted over the din.

  Monique stood, put two fingers in her mouth and gave a shrill whistle.

  The group froze.

  “Knock it off and let’s talk this out!” Monique demanded, her expression stern. “We’ve been going around and round for half an hour. Pull yourselves together. We’ve got to figure out if Mister Williams can help us with this project or not.” She dropped back into her chair.

  “I know you’re all upset,” Heidi agreed. “I am too, but arguing among ourselves isn’t going to solve this.”

  The women tossed sheepish glances around the table.

  Michelle was the first to speak, wringing her hands with concern. “But we all failed! None of us got anything out of Mister Williams. We don’t even know where he came from, let alone if he can actually be helpful!”

  “Not true,” Mildred interjected. The old lady shuffled back through her papers and adjusted her reading glasses on her nose. “According to my notes we know that Mister Williams has suggested a viable plan to delay demolition. As far as his background and abilities, we know he’s from out of state because he recently got new plates. We know he doesn’t work a job with regular hours or at least not during the day. I’ve asked around and no one admits to hiring him or working with him. I saw records at the courthouse that he paid cash for his property, so he’s either wealthy or he got a bunch of money from somewhere. I’d go with the latter based on his truck and his habits – grocery shopping for himself and such. Most importantly, we know he’s open to suggestion because he got himself a dog from the pound.”

  “Yeah!” Sam grunted, pumping her fist.

  The women all smiled and Michelle got up to get the coffeepot. She circled the table offering to top off everyone’s cup.

  Heidi couldn’t help but notice that Michelle’s fingernails were a different color, bright purple. The practical side of her wondered how the woman could get anything done with the long things sticking off the ends of her fingers, but she seemed to manage.

  “We know he keeps to himself,” Sarah offered, then blushed.

  Good point, dear,” Mildred agreed, scribbling on her notes. “And I can tell he has never done much gardening.”

  “From the look of his yard, I’d say he’s not into yard work either,” Heidi added.

  Mildred adjusted the papers and scribbled some more. When she was finished, she took off her glasses, leaving them to swing from the chain around her neck. She gave the women around the table a pointed look. “Now think hard, ladies, can you come up with anything else?”

  “He needs his hair trimmed?” Michelle offered as she slipped back into her seat. “Noticing people’s hair is part of my job,” she added defensively.

  “Okay,” Mildred said, adding it to her notes. “He’s not particular about his looks.”

  Sarah raised her hand.

  Heidi motioned to her. “You don’t need to wait to be called on dear, what is it?”

  “Well, I was just wondering,” the young woman started, “What does his yard or his hair have to do with the bloody drawings or this house being demolished?”

  “It’s not about his hair or his grass,” Monique explained, motioning with her pencil. “It’s about his personality, his style. It’s about knowing who he is and how he responds to situations.” She punctuated each point with a bob of the pencil. “Knowing those things can help us later on.”

  “Right,” Heidi agreed. “And he seems to have a sense of humor. That can be important.”

  “I didn’t see a sense of humor,” Michelle muttered.

  Monique scoffed. “Me neither.”

  Taken aback, Heidi had to wonder why Adam had responded to her differently than the other women. Maybe because he’d been on his home turf?

  “Remember when I met Tom Selleck?” Old Stella chirped, clasping her wrinkled hands to her chest. “Now, that man had a sense of humor.”

  The women around the table rolled their eyes over the old woman’s dreamy expression.

  “That wasn’t Tom Selleck,” Mildred snapped. “That was Jean Hammond’s cousin from Cincinnati.”

  “It was?” Stella asked, her expression crestfallen.

  Michelle patted the old woman’s hand. “It’s okay honey.”

  Jessica had been waiting to share her feelings about the traffic and her bus route, and she couldn’t wait any longer. She waved her hands to get the group’s attention. “Come on ya’ll, let’s focus here. I gotta say, I have some real problems with this whole thing.”

  Heidi motioned for Jessica to take the floor. “Tell us what you’re thinking, Jess.”

  “Well—” Jessica shrank back, unsure now that everyone was looking at her.

  “It’s okay,” Heidi assured the young mother. “You know you can say anything here.”

  “That’s right,” the other women chimed in agreement.

  “Okay, well,” she squirmed in her chair, knowing her opinion didn’t agree with the other ladies. “I think we should look at this a
nother way. Oh, I know we still have to figure out that bloody package and all,” she motioned with one hand, “—but I think we need to look for a solution to the Main Street problem, not just complain about somebody fixing it a way we don’t like.”

  The women around the table tossed silent glances at each other, cookies and coffee forgotten.

  “Continue…” Heidi prompted.

  “Ya’ll have to agree that the traffic on Main Street is a mess, and I have to drive the bus in it every day.” She stopped to make eye contact with each person in the group. “And I think that we’re not going to be successful in stopping this project, including the demo, unless we offer a better solution.”

  A collective sigh sucked the momentum from the room. The only sound was Michelle clicking her long purple nails on the table in rhythm as she thought.

  Jessica waved her hands again. “Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be a downer here, I love this house.” She gave Heidi a pleading look, asking her to believe the words.

  “No, you’re absolutely right,” Heidi said, running her hand through her hair. “Maybe we’ve been coming at this the wrong way.”

  “But we agreed that Mister Williams may be able to help us,” Sarah interrupted.

  Everyone turned their attention to the pretty teacher.

  “That’s why Heidi put out the bulletin,” Sarah said, her words unsure. “Wasn’t it?”

  “You’re right,” Heidi affirmed. She already knew that Adam said he’d be willing to help her, even before she made a fool of herself at his house. But she wasn’t ready to share that information. She didn’t want to ask him for help. That would mean more time spent with the man, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with the strange emotions he aroused in her. Jessica had a point though, and she needed to change the direction of the meeting. She squared her shoulders. “Since when do we need outside help? Jessica is right. We need to figure out our own solution to this traffic mess. Maybe along the way we can figure out where the bloody parcel fits in.”

  “Wait a minute,” Monique exclaimed. “How do we come up with a solution when we don’t even know exactly what is happening?”

  The women muttered among themselves again. Coffee cups clinked and chairs scraped on the floor.

  As the noise level rose, Heidi’s heart sank. They didn’t have enough information about the construction project, or even anyone in the group with construction experience.

  Mildred snatched up the gavel and banged it on the table. When the group quieted, she shook her finger, giving each of the women the evil eye. “I have been a member of this group for nigh on forty years, and I can assure you that if we got this town through the war to end all wars, through the mines closing and the great depression, then by gum, we can get through this!”

  Thoroughly chastised, the women tossed guilty looks around the table.

  Heidi spoke up first. “It appears we need to figure out where we currently stand with this project. The mayor came into the post office, but he wouldn’t tell me anything. We need to stop pussyfooting around looking for help and get one of us into the mayor’s office to find out what’s going on. Agreed?”

  “Agreed!” the women chanted in unison.

  “And once we know that, then we can start figuring out a better solution, right?”

  “Right!” the others agreed.

  “So, who is willing to go to the mayor and see what they can find out?”

  Michelle waved off the idea. “I’ve been cutting that man’s hair for years and I’ve never been able to get any good information out of him.”

  The group sulked as each of the women thought about the problem. Jessica nibbled on a cookie and Stella slurped her coffee.

  “Why don’t we sneak into his office and look around?” Sarah piped up, surprising everyone. All heads turned to gape at the sweet, young teacher.

  “Well, look at you, little miss devious,” Monique chuckled.

  Sarah blushed. “Is that not something we’d do?”

  “Oh, we’d do it,” Mildred snorted. “Sneaking is a specialty of ours.”

  “We don’t do breaking and entering, mind you,” Heidi clarified. “Just the entering part.”

  “Now we’re talkin’,” Mildred said with a grin. “If we’re being sneaky about it, what tactic should we employ for this mission? Barking Dog? Crying Woman? Hurt Kid? Flat Tire?”

  Jessica perked up, her eyes bright with excitement and her cookie forgotten. “I think this calls for Rabid Racoon!”

  Sarah’s eyebrow rose in question. “Racoon?”

  “It’s perfect!” Michelle agreed, clapping Jessica on the back.

  Excited chatter broke out, raising the noise level to near pandemonium. Sarah beamed with pride that getting into the mayor’s office was a good idea, but she had no idea what Rabid Racoon was.

  Jessica chattered excitedly about her idea, thrilled that she’d come up with it. “Latrice will help. We can get right into the mayor’s office and look at whatever we want!”

  Heidi banged the gavel to get the ladies’ attention. “Order, order!”

  It took a moment and a whistle from Monique but finally the room quieted.

  Heidi continued, her voice shaking. She loved the thrill of using sneaky tactics. “Rabid Racoon is perfect. We haven’t used that for, what Mildred, twenty years?”

  The old woman squinted and gazed into space. “Twenty-two, I believe.”

  Eager now, Heidi continued. “Sam, you’d be prefect for this. What does your schedule look like?”

  Samantha, well aware of past Rabid Racoon missions due to folklore, flipped through the pages of her planner. “Looks like I can do it on Tuesday or Wednesday. Say—two o’clock?”

  Heidi motioned to Michelle who sat deep in thought. The salon owner played the key role of creating and applying disguises. “Michelle? What do you think?”

  The woman fluffed her pink hair and grinned. “Piece of cake.”

  Heidi’s stomach jumped. This could work. She could already see Sam dressed up and making her way through the courthouse. “Let’s try for Tuesday and if something comes up we’ll do it on Wednesday.”

  The women again broke into excited conversation.

  “I want to be on the inside!” Jessica cried.

  “Me too,” Monique said, looking almost excited for the first time in years.

  Sarah turned to Monique. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

  Mildred looked up from her notes. “Wait a minute, before you get carried away, I hate to be the party pooper,” she announced, “but we haven’t discussed the spring festival.”

  A moan went up from the group and Sarah was even more confused.

  “The reenactment thing is such a pain,” Monique lamented.

  “Now, now, this is important,” Heidi reminded them. “Without our reenactments, we’d be in trouble.” She took in the group. “What shall we reenact his time?”

  Mildred flipped through her notes. “Looks like we haven’t done First Hospital for a few years.

  Protest broke out among the ladies.

  Heidi banged her gavel. “I know it’s not your favorite, but the kids in town enjoy the fake blood. Besides, we have all the costumes.”

  Mumbles of dissent continued, but Heidi ignored them. “Okay Mildred, write that down. We’ll start planning who gets what parts at the next meeting.”

  Adam clipped the leash onto his dog’s collar and opened the back door. Unlike most dogs, however, this one was not inclined to go out.

  “Come on, dog, you like it outside. You’ve been in the house all morning.”

  But the dog just stood at his master’s knee, staring out the door. “I’m going out with you, see?” Adam continued, stepping outside and offering his best smile.

  The dog wasn’t convinced.

  Adam gave the leash a tug and the dog took a step backward. “Oh, for heaven sakes,” he huffed, picking up the dog and putting him down on the back patio. “I don’
t know why I bought a leash. I haven’t seen you even consider running.”

  The dog looked up at Adam.

  “What do you need? I fed you and gave you water. I know you ate, I watched you.”

  The dog didn’t respond. Not a tail wag, nothing.

  Adam sighed, wondering yet again if this whole dog idea had been crazy. What had he been thinking? Next thing he knew he’d be planting a garden.

  “Well, I’m going to walk,” he said, stepping off the patio. When the leash reached its end and tugged on the dog’s neck, the mutt reluctantly followed, lagging as far behind as the leash would allow.

  “You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Adam called back to the dog.

  They walked to the end of the driveway, with the dog still trailing sadly behind. Adam stopped to take in the sunny afternoon; the birds were singing merrily in the trees and bright green grass was sprouting alongside the ditch. This place wasn’t bad, he’d done well. His garage was great, his little house was comfortable, the Jeep was coming along, and the weather was nice. The people—well—the women he’d met in town had been pretty strange to be honest. He shook his head. He still had no idea why they had all approached him that way. He scratched his head. The lady in the parking lot of the grocery store had been downright intimidating. He had no doubt she could run the tavern, and the patrons likely didn’t give her any crap. She was a beauty, but one formidable woman.

  The post office lady, Heidi… now she was cute. He liked short curvy women, and she had a confident quirkiness about her that appealed to him. That day she’d come to the house, she’d given as good as she’d gotten. But why had she come out here in the first place? She’d used that lame excuse of checking his address, and that was obviously a ruse.

  To be honest, it had been nice to spend a few minutes talking to an adorable woman. Then again, he prided himself on not evaluating his emotions. It was a waste of time.

  He turned to head back to the house and the dog broke into a trot, passing him up.

  “Weird dog,” he muttered under his breath.