“He and Ransom are having lunch tomorrow, maybe I should make my baby daddy ask him what the fuck his problem is.”
“No.” I shake my head quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. “Please don’t get in the middle of this. I’m a grown woman, I knew what I was doing when I invited him to my bed, I just didn’t think he would ignore me.” I tilt my head, the tears coming again. “And I’m fuckin’ pissed that I keep crying about it.”
“Did anything else happen?” she asks, resting her hands on her slightly bigger stomach. “I gained four pounds, we fucked like rabbits, and lounged on the beach. My husband is hot as hell in a pair of swim trunks with an ocean behind him.” She winks. “But we missed Rambo, our bed, and I missed having dinner with you at least three times a week.” She rests her head on my shoulder.
“Nick and I used condoms since I’m not on birth control, and the second time we had sex, it broke” My voice is soft. “We got caught up in the moment, and we knew it broke, but we didn’t stop.”
“Oh Kels, was it a bad time of the month? Could you be pregnant?”
“You know I’m not really regular.” My voice is small as I speak to her. “Because of the thyroid issues I have, even with the medication I’m on, and there’s never been a reason for me to seriously be on birth control. I’ve never been in that kind of a relationship, I didn’t even realize it broke at first,” I admit to her. “All I knew was that it felt good. Different, but good.” My face is warm as I tell my best friend everything that happened. “I’ve never had unprotected sex before. When I felt the warmth against my thighs, I knew the condom had broken. Then Nick said it had, and I didn’t know what to say.”
“Whatever happens, you know I’ll be here for you, right?”
“I know.” I give her a sad smile. “I went to work and got Plan B the next day. But there’s a small part of me that kinda wished for something more,” I admit as I let the tears fall again. “That said, even if that were the only way I could have a piece of him, I’d take it. I know that’s sad, and I’m a dumbass for saying it. But I see so much potential in Nick, I just wish he could see it in himself.”
Stella hugs me again, running her hand down my arm. “We all do, Kels. We all wish he could see it.”
Pulling it together, I turn on the couch to face her. “Enough about me, tell me all about Hawaii.”
Her eyes take on a faraway, dreamy look. “The lanai of our hotel room will always hold a special place in my heart,” she giggles, and it warms me to my soul to have my best friend back again.
Eight
Nick
It’s raining slightly as I pull my patrol car up to The Café. I’ve signaled into dispatch I’m taking a lunch break, and I let my shoulders drop. Since that night with Kels I’ve been tightly wound.
Not because of what we did together, but because of the way she made me feel. I’ve always wanted what everyone has. I just convinced myself it would never happen for me. Now? Now I’m not so sure.
Getting out, I lock my patrol car and head into what most of us around town call our home away from home. Caleb proposed to Ruby here, from what I heard Ace and Violet met here, and Ransom’s family practically lives here.
I see him sitting at one of the side tables, Rambo at his feet. When he sees me, his tail wags, and I can’t help but smile down at the dog. He can always bring a smile to anyone’s face. Doesn’t seem to matter what they’re going through.
“Hey.” Ransom reaches out a hand to me when I get close enough. “Good to see you.”
“You too.” We give each other the kind of bro half-hug you see in every movie. “You’re tan.” I give him a little shit as I settle in across from him.
“That’s what happens when you lay out naked on your private lanai in Hawaii.” He gives me a huge grin. “Ordered for you by the way. Barbecue from Smokers is the special.”
My damn stomach growls as I think about the little BBQ place that opened up a few streets over from here a few months ago. “Damn, I love when they share business. Their pulled pork with your mom’s sides is some of the best food I’ve ever had.”
He laughs. “I know, Stelle’s gonna be pissed if she finds out we’re having it. She’s been craving BBQ for two weeks now.”
“Have you all told the parents yet? I have a feeling Mom knows I’m hiding something, so I’ve avoided going home. She can smell a story at twenty paces.”
“We haven’t told them yet, but soon we will. We just want to make sure we get through the ultrasound at the end of the week.”
I look at my friend, he’s glowing. But it’s not just with the tan he got on vacation; it’s not because he’s well-rested from not working, he’s happy. I wonder if I’ve ever looked as happy as he does right now. Before I can stop myself, I ask, “Are you happy?”
His eyebrows narrow together in question, before he speaks. “Happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Why? Do I not look like I am?”
A waitress brings some drinks and I take a long chug of water. “No, you do, you look the happiest I’ve ever seen you. It’s just…”
“C’mon Nick, spit it out, we’re brothers. We can be honest with each other.
I avert my gaze from his eyes, start messing with the wrapped silverware and let the question fly. “Do I look happy to you?”
He pulls back like the words were a slap to the face. Then he looks at me, really looks at me. At the same time I wonder what he’s thinking, what he sees, but then I don’t want to know either. What if he reads something I don’t want to know?
“Honestly? I think you’re content, but I wouldn’t call you happy. I think you walk around with a smile on your face because that’s what you feel you’re supposed to do. Happy, though? No.”
My fingers play with the straw wrapper, avoiding his eyes as I process the information he gave me. “I’m not,” I push out between dry lips. The sound is harsh, like I haven’t spoken in years. But it’s there. “I’m not happy.”
“There.” Ransom grins. “You admitted it. Now what are you going to do about it?”
“Make myself happy?”
I have to be some kind of fucking damaged not to know how to be happy.
“You’re asking like it’s a question as to whether you deserve it or not, Nick. You deserve it. A lot of people struggle with this shit.”
“Do they?” I pin him down with my glare. “Do they really? Because to someone like me walking around Laurel Springs is like walking around Happy Town, USA.”
“Now you’re just being dramatic.” He flicks his straw wrapper at me.
“Fuck you, I’m being serious.”
“Okay.” He leans forward, hand wrapped around his water glass. “What brought this shit on?” He tips the glass to take a drink.
Again my eyes go anywhere but to his face. “Kels and I, we slept together.”
And that’s when he began to choke to death in the middle of The Café.
Ransom is breathing normally again when we resume our conversation.
“You and Kels slept together? When?”
“The night of your wedding.”
“Jesus Christ, Nick. What the hell?”
Normally I don’t reveal my feelings about anything, but I know I have to in this situation. “I just got so sick of saying no. I’ve wanted her for years.”
“Then why aren’t you with her right now?”
“It’s complicated.”
He shakes his head as he takes a bite of the food that’s been delivered to us. “Bullshit. That’s your excuse.”
“Excuse?” I’m slightly offended by what he’s implying.
“Yeah, don’t forget I know you. You don’t have to care as long as you don’t get too close. If you keep people at arm’s length you don’t have to show emotion. It’s always what you use for your excuse.”
“I think I’d prefer calling it a coping mechanism.” I take a drink of my water.
He glares. “It’s an excuse if I’ve ever seen one. Nobody is denying
you had a shitty childhood, but you can overcome that. You have overcome it.”
“But have I? Have I really?”
He shrugs. “Only you can answer that question, Nick. You know yourself better than anybody.”
I do know the answer, and that’s the bitch of the whole situation. I haven’t overcome it. Sometimes I’m not sure if I ever will.
Kelsea
I’m nervous as I drive my Jeep down the dirt road leading to the picnic area where Nick asked me to meet him. It’s the original spring, where Laurel Springs got its name from. For years it had been dry, but after the flooding rain we had last year, it’s flowing again and cool on these almost muggy nights as we head into summer.
Glancing at the clock on my dash, I see I’m early, but I’m not surprised to already see Nick waiting on me. He’s sitting on the tailgate of his truck, looking like the hot, southern boy he is.
Parking, I allow myself to take a few moments longer than I need to, just to look at him. He’s hot as hell with no clothes on, but there’s something even sexier about him when he wears them. Old, well-loved jeans lay against strong legs, hanging off the tailgate, the threads kissing a pair of scuffed boots covering his feet. My gaze wanders up, seeing threadbare holes where the soft material cups his thighs. They’re stained, just on the other side of looking dirty, his torso covered by an old band t-shirt, the arm holes hugely cut out showing his cut abdomen. His five-o-clock shadow darkens his face, a hat pulled low over his eyes hides his gaze from me. In the low-light of the evening, I really wish I could see those eyes of his.
Putting the Jeep in park, I slowly turn it off before getting out. I can feel the gaze following me as I walk over to where he sits.
“Hey girl, hey,” I joke, making him laugh.
“Hey,” he answers back. “Thanks for meeting me.”
I come to a stop in front of him. “Thanks for finally answering my text. I was beginning to wonder if you were dead.”
He drops his head lower. “I deserve that.”
“And so much more.” It’s important to me to show him he can’t just keep coming into my life when he wants and then walk out when it gets to be too much for him.
“I’ve been an asshole.” He grins as he reaches out for me.
Our hands touch and I feel it. The awareness I’ve always had when he’s around, the fluttering deep in my stomach, that clench in your gut as you drive over a hill way too fast. I’m holding onto the ‘oh shit’ handle, praying desperately I don’t lose my seat. Nick Kepler though, he’d be worth losing it for.
Without prompting, he moves those hands of his down my arms, my sides, and cups them under my ass before lifting me up onto the tailgate so that I’m straddling his lap. Reaching up, I pull the hat of his head, turning it around to the back, before I place it back where it was.
The two of us are quiet, a symphony of crickets, birds, and the running water, the only soundtrack to this moment in the history of our relationship. He swallows roughly as he flexes his fingers against my ass, pulling me even tighter against him. I watch, fascinated as his Adam’s apple moves. Without thought, I lean forward, kissing him softly against the skin of his throat. He moans, a noise deep in his chest.
“What happened?” I whisper, not wanting to break the spell we seem to have wrapped ourselves in. “Why haven’t you answered me?”
His hands grip me tighter. “I don’t know how to do this, Kels.”
“Do what?”
“Be the man you want me to be. The man you deserve. I’m a selfish asshole most of the time.” He stops, biting his bottom lip. “I’ll probably end up pushing you away and making you hate me.”
My heart cracks, I know what he’s saying is coming from a genuine place. He wants to protect me. Wants to make sure I know what I’m getting into. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of what I can handle, and what I want. I’m stronger than I look.”
“It would kill me if I hurt you, like really hurt you.”
“You did,” I remind him. “When you ignored me for a full week.
“I wasn’t ignoring you,” he protests. “I just didn’t know what to do, how to do this.” He motions in between us.
“You have a great example with your parents, Nick, and it’s not like I’m an expert. I’ve only had like two boyfriends my entire life. None of them were you though, I always held them up to what I anticipated you would be.” Now is the time to admit things and start fresh.
“I hated both of them,” he growls. “No matter who you’ve been with I’ve always hated them. I couldn’t face being with you, but I didn’t want anyone else to have you.”
“You really are an asshole,” I giggle.
“I won’t change overnight,” he warns.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day, Nick. We’ll go slow.”
“A date?” he asks. “Tomorrow? I don’t work tomorrow.”
“I work the morning shift, but I’m free for the afternoon and evening. Whenever you want to go, I’m good.”
He leans in, tilting his head. I wait for the kiss, my eyelids flickering shut. When our lips meet, I throw my arms around his neck, digging my fingers in the little bit of hair that hangs below the hat. “Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll pick you up at two.” His voice is deeper, his eyes darker, and in between where I’m straddling his lap, I can feel his length making itself known.
“Tomorrow,” I parrot back. “Two.”
He laughs, it’s a deep purr. I want to curl myself around his body and hold him tight. “As long as that’s okay with you.”
“Perfect, what should I wear?”
“Anything you wear you look amazing in, but in this instance wear something you can get dirty.”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “How dirty?”
His voice is that dark, deep tone again. Making my toes curl as he answers. “Very, very dirty.”
Hugging him close, my mind goes to places it’s never allowed itself to go with Nick, and damned if I’m not more excited than I’ve ever been.
Nine
Kelsea
“Today has been a day.”
I turn my head to the voice of my fellow medical assistant, Karsyn. We both started working here at the same time as Stelle, but while she’s moved on, we’ve been holding it down together. She’s become one of my closest friends, right next to Stelle.
“Has it been?” I haven’t really noticed because all I can think about is Nick picking me up this afternoon.
“Yeah,” she sighs. “But that could just be me.” She purses her lips. “I’ve been seeing Tucker off and on for the last few months, more of a friends with benefits thing. I want more, but he’s scared. He wants more, but I’m scared. That’s how we’ve been, and now I just don’t know what we are.”
Tucker, I know that name from somewhere. “How do I know him?”
She gives me a look of surprise, drawing her eyebrows together. “Tucker, you know, the K-9 trainer?”
“Oh right, I’m sorry it’s not working out the way you want it to.”
The breath she exhales rustles the bangs lying against her forehead. When she looks at me, there’s a sadness in her eyes I’ve never seen before. “Yeah me too, but you never know what tomorrow holds.”
Her pain is my pain, I know where she is at this point in her life. Reaching over, I give her a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around her. “I’m sorry, Karsyn.”
She pulls back, rubbing her fingertips under her eyes, sniffling. “I’m not sorry for the time we spent together, it was magical. But this?” She blows out a watery breath. “This sucks. Promise me you’ll be careful with Nick. He and Tucker, they’re a lot alike.”
Those words hit me harder than I expect them to. “I promise. I won’t get so far in, I can’t get out.” But I wonder if I’m not already there.
My hands shake as I curl my hair, watching as it bounces against my shoulder. In the mirror I smile at myself, liking the fact I’m fixing my hair for Nick. On the bathroom counter, my phone vibra
tes. A smiling picture of my mom shows on the screen, asking to FaceTime. Knowing she’ll keep calling me until I talk to her, I answer, propping my phone up against the shelving unit on the wall.
“Hey,” I answer, giving her a grin.
“Getting ready to go somewhere?”
Holding another lock of my hair up, I curl it around the barrel of the iron before giving her my attention. “Yup, I have a date!”
“Ohh, who with?” If there’s one thing Karina Harrison likes, it’s to be kept apprised with what her kids are doing.
“I’d rather not say just yet, it’s new.”
She gives me a look that makes me nervous. “New as in you just met him, or new as in you’ve known him a while and the relationship part is new?”
“Mooomm.” There’s a warning to my tone. “Seriously, if it turns into anything you’ll be the first to know.”
“The hell I will. You’ll tell Stella first, then Ruby, I’ll be an afterthought.”
I laugh at her dramatics. “You’re never an afterthought.
“Pretty soon none of you will need me.”
“Mom,” I reprimand her. “As soon as there’s something to tell you, I promise you will know.”
“Okay, Kels, I just wanted to call and see what you were up to. I’ll let you to go, since you already have plans.”
“Love you, Mom. I’ll be there for Sunday dinner this week.”
She grins brightly. She loves Sunday dinner. “See you then. Love you, Kels.”
Turning the phone off, I wonder how long I’m going to be able to stall her. There’s only so long Karina Harrison will wait when she smells some gossip. Glancing at the clock, I see I’m running out of time. Hurrying to my closet, I throw the door open.
“Wear something you can get dirty,” I remind myself of what he said.
Suppression: Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team #2 Page 5
