The Waking Bell

by Jackie Weger

  “What?” I asked perplexed at her insinuation. She must have saw my confusion.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about Bud Mosley. Come on, Cady Blue, surely you would have known that he would brag about fucking you. Grandpa had to pay him to shut him up back then. No matter what they whisper in bed, men can’t help but talk. You have upset poor Grandma. Got her heart a fluttering, and she had high hopes for you. We tried to tell her. You should be grateful it’s me doing this and not Grandpa.” Dodie took another puff of her cigarette and pointed toward the road. “Now, please leave with the little dignity you have left.”

  That dignity emerged. I stood as tall as I could. Shoulders back and head straight ahead.

  From behind me, she said, “You’re not welcome here anymore. Ever. You little whore.”

  “No…no…” I shook my head at the nastiness of her words. “That’s not true.”

  The bells burst forth without warning. They were so loud I couldn’t stop them. I clamped my hands over my ears. My vision blurred.

  In the distance, I saw a figure emerge. A man. Matt? I stumbled toward him but fell into darkness.

  Minutes. Hours passed…I had lost track of time.

  I woke on my bed. My head hurt so badly.

  Outside my window, I saw the tinge of another day done. I had been out that long. The bells had never been so bad.

  Still dressed in my work overalls, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and wondered how I’d gotten home. Sitting still, I heard the radio playing. A day to be etched into infamy. The Allies invaded Normandy.

  The radio announcer introduced the president. I heard President Roosevelt address the nation. Many people have urged that I call the Nation into a single day of special prayer. But because the road is long and the desire is great, I ask that our people devote themselves in a continuance of prayer. As we rise to each new day, and again when each day is spent, let words of prayer be on our lips, invoking thy help to our efforts.

  For a moment, a feeling of exhilaration gripped me. The war had made a turn and would end soon, I was certain. That was good. I silently gave a prayer that the invasion would be successful and for the killing to end. I prayed for peace.

  “Pa! Pa! Cady Blue’s up!”

  I looked up to see Dickie scamper down the hall. His declaration broke the moment and brought me back to the world in which I lived, one in which I had been disgraced by all accounts. Not from my own actions, I assured myself. I had done nothing wrong. Though if I were honest with myself, perhaps I had by not being open with our relationship. Secrecy had led to assumptions.

  While untrue, they had twisted and turned our time together into something lewd and vulgar, uncaring that they had ripped my reputation to shreds.

  Rising, I had to find Goldie and explain.

  I stopped only to refresh myself. Washing my face, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and realized I was staring at someone I didn’t recognize. How could one change so much from morning to night?

  I wiped back a stray tear. While I contemplated the consequences, I realized I had no time for self-pity. I patted my face with a dash of powder and flung back the door. I set out through the kitchen and into the dining room to find Otis and Goldie sitting at the table.

  “I should have killed him,” Otis stated fervently. His usual masked indifference to me forgotten. “I should have ripped Mosley’s head off.”

  “Otis, control yourself. It does no good now,” Goldie said, rubbing her chin. “We don’t even know if what that woman said was true. It’s that spiteful old man who has been wanting to get rid of Cady Blue forever. He orchestrated the whole scene.”

  I caught Goldie’s eyes. Pressing my lips together tightly, I struggled to find the right words. “I’m sorry…”

  “Ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry about, hon.” Goldie pushed back her chair and stood. “Fuckin’ Reeves. Thinking he can go around spreading rumors and such. Ain’t right…”

  She stopped when I rushed into her arms. She embraced me tightly and rubbed my back.

  “The bells got me,” I whispered. “I couldn’t stop them.”

  “There, there,” she said. “Everything’s going to be just fine.”

  There was no reprimand in her voice. No, I told you so.

  “It is going to be just fine.” My head snapped to the door at the sound of his voice. Matt stood in the doorway. He smiled at me and nodded toward Goldie. “It is all set.”

  I glanced at Goldie, then back at Matt. “What is going on?”

  “We are going to be married.”

  “You can’t be serious,” I said without thinking. “Don’t you know what happened this morning?”

  “Our forces invaded France. It has been quite the celebration that you have missed.”

  “Do not make a joke of it.”

  “I’m not.” His tone became somber. “I was there at that terrible display this morning. I came because of the announcement that we invaded France. The whole country has shut down to celebrate, and I wanted to be with you to observe the moment. I didn’t realize what I would be walking into. I don’t know why Dodie did her grandfather’s dirty work. I could guess it is because she is hurting and wants everyone else to hurt. No matter. I have solved our little dilemma.”

  I wasn’t listening to half of what he’d said. I had seen him at the Reeves’s house. He had saved me.

  My heart swelled. Goldie had called Matt a hard, cynical man, but that was not who I knew. This was the man I loved.

  The distance between us closed. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and I was in his arms. “Marry me.” He pushed back the hair from my face. “I have spent the afternoon arranging a simple ceremony in Maryville next week. I won’t have you treated poorly anymore.”

  “Your wife has been dead less than a year.”

  “It is the only reason I haven’t asked you before. You had to realize I had that damn calendar for a reason. I have wanted to ask you for a time now,” he confessed. “But I assure you this will be the lesser of the two evils. I’m afraid that Dodie is on a roll. If she insists on this campaign to tarnish your name, we will quickly silence it.”

  It was not as romantic as I’d imagined a proposal would be, as he had proposed in front of my family. But there was no denying he was my knight in shining armor.

  Chapter 9

  The day we married was quite lovely. The sun shone brightly in the blue sky, and birds sang. Inside the Maryville Baptist church, I walked down the aisle to see two beautiful white flower arrangements made up of lilies, roses, and peonies on either side of where we stood. My bouquet held a collection of white roses and gardenias.

  I soaked in the fragrance. The scents relaxed me. Or perhaps, it was more that my heart was filled with love for the man with whom I exchanged vows.

  The wedding was simple with only Goldie, Otis, and Dickie in attendance. Matt said that his family knew of the ceremony but were unable to attend.

  “Mother is going to arrange a celebration on our return from our honeymoon,” he said.

  I admitted to feeling a sense of relief. I had never met his mother and had only seen her from a distance. The rest of his family, I confess, I had little knowledge of beside his best friend, Jeffrey Owen, who served in the Marines in Europe.

  Jeffrey was the only one who Matt had talked about freely at the cabin. There were cousins that lived in the vicinity, but none that I had ever seen in Oak Flatt.

  Moreover, I had never laid eyes on, much less visited the house that would be our home. Hidden away from prying eyes, the house was set off the road about a half-mile behind a small stand of woods.

  Other than our wedding day, we hadn’t discussed much of our future. I refused to contemplate anything but this moment. Any qualms I had were forgotten.

  Goldie had found me a white tea-length dress with pearl beading. My veiled hat tilted to one side with my hair pinned into a curl updo.

  “You look beautiful,” Goldie said as she strai
ghtened my skirt when we exited the truck at the church. “I’m right proud of you.”

  I swore I saw her wipe away a tear. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. I took Otis’s arm and walked down the aisle. There was no music, but it mattered little.

  Matt waited for me in front of Brother Mize. He looked quite handsome in his blue pinstriped suit. He had none of my nervousness and spoke his vows soundly. My voice quivered as I said them.

  Between Matt and Goldie, all the details had been seen to, including the photographer and the wedding cake. The whole day seemed surreal.

  I had never been happier.

  When we drove away, I heard the bells faintly. That was until Matt turned to me as he pulled out onto the highway.

  He grasped my hand and kissed it. “Life isn’t perfect but gives you what is perfect for you.”

  I laughed. It made no sense, but I supposed his meaning was that I was perfect for him. The bells faded.

  The day was still young. We had spoken our vows at ten. By eleven we were on our way to Charleston.

  My excitement must have shown. To be honest, I couldn’t contain it. Matt had spoken about the city in such detail I felt I had already been there, but I was most eager to see the Atlantic Ocean.

  “You will love the city,” he said. “It has a charm that will delight you, and it holds so much history.”

  Matt had driven straight and stopped only once on our six-hour journey. He seemed determined to get to our destination as quickly as possible.

  Sill dressed in our finery, we pulled into the hotel, driving a car that Dickie had decorated with a string of tin cans and a piece of old cardboard that he’d written the words Just Married on. I had wanted to tell Dickie not to because it was a new car. I was afraid he might damage it in some way, but Matt said let him.

  “We can’t worry about little things. Not today,” Matt said. “It’s a day to enjoy.”

  The valet took the car. I stood alongside of Matt in front of The Francis Marion Hotel. It was enormous and quite grand. I felt out of place, but it seemed Matt had expected my reaction and would have none of my hesitation.

  “You look lovely,” he whispered. Kissing me lightly on my lips, he led me into the lobby. “Do not forget you’re my wife now.”

  He gave me confidence. Though my grasp on his hand was quite tight.

  The bellhop was rather chatty on the way to our room. “The Battery is a short walk away along with boutiques and restaurants. A short drive away there are antebellum homes and magnificent gardens. If you keep along King Street, there is a wonderful restaurant—”

  “I’m certain we will find it most enjoyable.” Matt waited until after the man opened our room and set the suitcases on the floor, then he pressed a tip in the man’s hand. “Thank you.” He shut the door soundly after the bellhop and leaned against the door. He smiled at me with a sparkle in his eyes. “Alone at last.” Taking me into his arms, he swung me around and kissed me quite passionately. “Go and get comfortable. I’ll call for room service.”

  I took my suitcase and closed the door to the bathroom. Taking the pins out of my hat, I placed it by the sink. I stared at myself for a long minute and decided to let my hair down. I let it loose down my back.

  Not quite certain what to do, I hesitated for a long moment before deciding to be bold. I took all my clothes off, but immediately wrapped the robe I had brought around me.

  Matt had already informed me we would be staying in tonight because it had been a long day and added it could be an even longer night. I was certain I must have blushed a thousand shades of red but clearly understood his meaning.

  A knock on the door told me that room service had arrived. I waited until they had left before I emerged, only to find Matt staring out the window.

  He turned. He seemed pleased with what he saw. “Let me change as well,” he said. “I’ll only be a moment.”

  In turn, I walked to the window and understood his fascination. The view from the ninth floor was breathtaking. I saw much of the city as well as what must have been the harbor.

  Pop!

  I jumped. Caught up in the view, I hadn’t noticed Matt’s return. He had changed into his robe as well and had opened a bottle that room service had brought. He poured two glasses.

  “I ordered a bottle of champagne.” He handed me a glass. “To celebrate.” He held his up to mine. “To us.”

  “To us,” I repeated and took a rather large sip. Immediately, I choked. I had never had any alcohol, much less champagne.

  Matt laughed while he took the glass from me. “Slowly, my darling. Slowly.” He set both down and stared at me like I would disappear if he blinked.

  He was like a magnet pulling me toward him. I couldn’t resist. I lifted my head to him and put my mouth against his in a soft breathy kiss. And then his mouth became hot and seeking, kissing me with a hard surety that I was his.

  “Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you,” he said so softly I could barely hear him, close as he was.

  “I know.”

  He smelled so good. Tasted so good. When his hand went under my robe, his fingertips brushed one of my breasts, I let out a soft cry. This was new to me. So wonderfully new.

  “You don’t have anything on under your robe.”

  “Should I have?” I stiffened. “I understand that…we can’t do…this…”

  “No, we can’t make love with our clothes on.” He swung me around on the bed and climbed astride of me. In one quick motion, he undid his robe. He was naked as well.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, his broad shoulders, the masculine hair on his chest. He smiled down at me. His dimples showed.

  I laughed. He laughed as he slowly pushed back the flap of my robe. My breasts were exposed to the cool air, and I gasped.

  Matt looked at my breasts. His eyes seemed to worship them. He reached down and covered them with a desire, a desire I shared the moment he touched me.

  “It’s been hell wanting you and not touching you.”

  “Show me what to do. I want to please you.”

  He leaned down beside me, his eyes never leaving mine. He seemed to be contemplating saying something. Instead, he took my face in his hands and kissed me. “God, woman, I love you.”

  “Do you?” The words slipped out before I thought. He had never said, and I had never pressed the subject. I was afraid I had spoiled our moment.

  “I love you, Cady Blue. I don’t express myself often. It’s not my way, but don’t ever doubt my love.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He grinned at me in a way that betrayed he had already realized that fact. He caressed my cheek. “Promise me that you’ll never change.”

  “I don’t know if you can stop change. Life is change,” I answered honestly. “But my love will never change.”

  He was pacified. His hands ran down my sides, across my breasts, my legs, my thighs. He was doing things to me I had never known. Yet my body cried for more.

  Words were lost in actions. Perhaps he was talking, but I heard nothing. I was lost in these new sensations exploding within me. He drew a nipple between his teeth until I felt an ache that went straight to my being. I started trembling.

  He immediately drew back. “Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?”

  “No…no…don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” I gasped. Everywhere he touched was fire.

  He leaned down and kissed my breasts. Each breath came in a ragged gasp as his fingers began to nudge my thighs apart, touching me, making me lose all reason.

  “I want you…God, I want you,” he murmured.

  There were no barriers between us. He moved on top of me again and swayed against me. I felt his body harden, responding in unison to this need that drove us both. He pulled back, then came into me. I made a small sound of surrender.

  He shattered me when we came together. When I came back down off the plain to which I’d risen, I knew my life would never be the same.

  I woke the next
morning, dazed and momentarily bewildered to find myself snuggled against Matt with his arm about me. Beautiful memories flooded back.

  The night had been heavenly. I had come to the conclusion that there was nothing better than being loved. I basked in the knowledge that he wanted me, needed me, as I did him.

  Matt began to stir and open his eyes. He smiled. “Happy?”

  “Very,” I acknowledged. “And you.”

  “I can’t remember a time when I have been happier.” He touched my face in a tender fashion. “My concerns for you were unfounded.”

  Immediately, I knew he was referring to Bud Mosley. I went quiet.

  Goldie had talked to me the night before the ceremony. She’d explained that a man expected the woman he took as his wife to be a virgin. Apparently, she didn’t believe I was. I assumed because of Bud Mosley. Goldie had told me, “It is nothing to worry yourself about because I talked to Matt to ensure he understood it wasn’t by choice.”

  To be honest, the whole subject irritated me. It was as if they were talking about another person because I had no memory of it. I thought Goldie was mistaken, but now it seemed that Matt confirmed I hadn’t been a virgin.

  I frowned.

  “It is no matter,” he assured me. “I shouldn’t have brought up the subject. I just want you to know you are safe with me.”

  “I know, but I don’t recall any of it…at all,” I confessed.

  “It is understandable, and I certainly don’t want you to remember, but I feared you wouldn’t want me to touch you…make love to you.”

  “No one has touched me as you did,” I insisted. “Ever. You are my husband.”

  “Yes, I am and I’m so happy about it.”

  There was a feeling of sincerity. I didn’t understand the ramification of what he thought Bud Mosley had done to me, but comprehended he was protective of me.

  “I’m sorry if I disappointed you that I wasn’t a virgin.”

  “I’m sorry I brought it up,” he admitted. “It isn’t an issue, I assure you, especially after Moria.” I immediately realized he hadn’t meant to mention his first wife, but as if a dam had broken, he began to talk of her. “I thought I loved Moria when I first met her. I thought she loved me as well. I gave her everything she wished for. I promised her father I would give her the life that had been denied her because even though her family had come from old money, they lost their money in the crash of ’29.”