Kitten

by Jack Harbon

  “You’re really proud of yourself, huh?” Roman chuckled. He pecked Kit on the nose, then his cheek.

  “I am! I did the damn thing.”

  “Yes, you did, kitten.”

  If Kit hadn’t wanted to get back to work just to see the look on everyone’s face when he strolled in, he’d have allowed himself to give in to Roman’s advances. They could have headed back to the bed for another round, waving Yellow Fall and Ari out of their minds. But Kit had a mission. He had things to do today, and he wasn’t going to let Roman’s stroke game get the better of him.

  *

  Roman headed into work first while Kit turned down at the street corner by instinct. He stopped in his tracks and looked at the coffee shop he’d been visiting since he started working. What if someone else was here to fill Michelle’s role? What if he walked in there and befriended another person that wanted to break him and Roman up?

  “Their coffee sucks anyways,” he murmured to himself. Kit turned and jogged across the street, heading to another spot he was familiar with. This shop was much less personal, and maybe that was a good thing. At the moment, he didn’t need any new friends. This barista made quick work with his order, moving around the small kitchen like he’d been working here for years.

  “Have a good day,” the man behind the counter said, his attention already on the customer behind Kit. Kit smiled.

  When he returned to the office, everything seemed perfectly normal. His coworkers moved around the room with purpose, typed away at their computers, and murmured between themselves as they always did. Yolanda placed her drawing pen down and looked back at Kit as he carried in the drinks.

  “That’s new,” she said, gesturing to the logo on the cups.

  “Given everything, I figured it’d probably be best to try another shop out for a little while.” He placed the cups on the table in the kitchen.

  “Good thinking, Kenneth,” she said, grabbing her cup and returning to her seat. Kit wanted to be annoyed with her calling him by his full name, but he knew she was only doing it because it did annoy him.

  Barbie stepped out of the bathroom and her eyes went wide when she saw him. “Oh my gosh,” she exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. “I heard about what happened! Are you okay? She didn’t hurt you, did she? Oh, I could strangle that bitch…”

  Kit laughed in surprise. “No, Barbie, I’m okay, I promise! Everything’s okay.”

  “Thank god,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I never doubted you for a second. Some people thought that it might actually be you that was stealing, but I just couldn’t see it. You’re a good boy. You wouldn’t do something like that. But that Sadie girl…”

  Kit couldn’t help but be amused at the anger on Barbie’s face. He’d never seen her this pissed off before, and knowing that she’d defended him when others didn’t made him even fonder of her. He gave her another quick hug before handing over her decaf drink.

  “I need to get back to work, but we’re gonna talk later. By the way, you’re over twenty-one, right? Me and some other people want to get together and take you out for drinks this weekend!”

  “That would be lit,” Kit grinned.

  “Lit AF, as my kids say. Talk to you in a little bit,” she said. She gave a small wave and made her way back to her computer.

  Aside from a few other people welcoming him back or congratulating him on figuring out who’d been stealing the money, his day was incredibly ordinary. Nobody made too big an effort to include him or make him feel welcomed, which was much appreciated. Kit wanted things to go back to normal, back before anyone knew about the stealing and the relationship he and Roman had.

  With some time to himself, Kit sat down and thought back to the decision he’d made last night. Today wasn’t a good day. He needed to talk to Roman and Ari about it before he made any rash choices, but truth be told, he had a feeling they’d agree.

  Given everything, it was probably best for him to find another job. Michelle had proven there was a conflict of interest. And not only that, but if for some reason they did break up, he didn’t want to lose his job again. One time was more than enough for him.

  For what he was sure would be one of his last days at Yellow Fall, Kit put his feet up on the sofa and began scrolling through his timeline on Twitter. He needed to find someone who was throwing a party. It wasn’t very hard considering most of his New York friends were still looking for jobs and had all the time in the world to throw a get-together on a Tuesday night.

  “Aha,” he said to himself, smiling.

  Niecy, one of the girls he’d met at a party Chad had dragged him to a few months ago, was hosting something. Maybe there was still a spark there, and Chad seeing her would bring it to life once again. He could only hope.

  The last thing on Kit’s to-do list was to tell his parents off. He’d spoken to Bria briefly, but in the whirlwind of everything, they hadn’t had a chance to sit down and really dig deep over this situation. Well, that was going to change soon. He dialed Bria’s number.

  “Hey, do you know where Mom and Dad are?” he asked.

  “Mom’s been staying over here, and Dad’s still at the hotel. Why?”

  Kit took a deep breath. “Because we need to have a family meeting.”

  34

  You Need Me

  “Do you think he’s going to show up?” Bria’s voice was just above a whisper, and though she’d been trying to play it cool ever since Tonya showed up, Kit could tell by the constant stirring of the pot of chicken broth that she was slowly losing her composure. She’d probably been stressing since yesterday, when he called her. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

  “Bria, he’s gonna show up. And if he doesn’t, he knows exactly what he’s doing by missing this.”

  “Okay, but what exactly did you say to him?”

  “I told him that the very least he owes me is showing up.” Kit wanted to say more to him than just that. He wanted to yell at Dorian and curse him out, but he knew that if he had any hope of his father showing up at Bria’s place, he needed to keep it toned down and hold back until he could actually let it all out.

  “I’m sorry for freaking out on you,” Bria sighed. “It’s just… I thought Trish and I were going to get our own time together when you moved out, but Mom’s been staying with us since the whole situation with Dad, and it’s unbearable. You know how she gets.”

  Ever since Tonya had arrived at the musical that night, she’d been buzzing around them like a paranoid, overprotective bee. In a way, Kit had almost gotten used to it. She’d displayed more interest in them during the past few weeks than she ever had when Kit and Bria were growing up.

  “You’re fine, Bria. We’re gonna be fine.” Kit knew it was his turn to be the older sibling. Bria had been doing this her whole life, and with Kit finally being in a good place, he took on the role while she stressed over the situation.

  Finally, there was a knock at the door. Bria’s hand froze, and Kit looked over his shoulder at their mother. “Mom, can you get that?”

  “I don’t want to see that bastard,” she grumbled, angling herself away from the front door. She propped her head up on her hand and looked out the window. Kit wanted to laugh and roll his eyes at the same time. She was stubborn as all hell, even now.

  He crossed the room and opened the door just as Dorian raised his hand to knock again. Kit stepped aside, allowing his father to enter. For a moment, nobody said anything. The last time Kit and Tonya had seen him, he’d been pandering to his son and proving just how little he cared about mending the past.

  “Hi,” Bria said quietly.

  “Hey, honey. How are you doing?” Dorian crossed the room and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

  “I’m fine. I’m making soup for dinner. It’s almost ready.”

  “That sounds perfect.” Dorian placed his hat down on the table and took a seat in one of the chairs. “So,” he said. “What did you need to see me for?”

  Kit shouldn’t have been surpri
sed by the casual tone he used, but he was. He couldn’t believe that after everything, his father wasn’t begging or pleading or apologizing for what he’d done at dinner that night.

  “Really?” Kit said. “You really came in here acting like that?”

  “I’m not acting like anything,” Dorian said.

  “Stand up.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Stand up. You don’t get to sit down and act like nothing is wrong. Stand the fuck up and look at me like a man.” Kit shocked himself with how calm he sounded when inside, he wanted to throttle Dorian. The last time he’d seen his family was when he’d been trying to buy a kidney from his son, and here he was, acting like this was any other day?

  “Kit,” Bria started.

  “No, I want him to stand up and apologize to me. For everything. The way Mom did.”

  Tonya snorted. “That man can’t apologize for shit. Never could. He told me we should come to New York to make amends with you and your sister. He wanted to show support for your relationship, Bria. God came to him and told him our behavior was wrong. But none of that was God, was it? It was your doctor, calling you up to tell you that your kidney was as disgusting as your heart.”

  “That’s not why I came—”

  “Stand up!” Kit’s order bounced around the tiny apartment. Dorian stared him down, finally pushing himself up from the table.

  “What do you want, Kenneth? Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness? I spent eighteen years raising you. Taking care of your medical expenses. Feeding you. I kept your ungrateful ass alive, and you want to act all big and bad like you did this shit on your own?”

  Kit smiled, but there was no happiness in the expression. No joy, no pleasure, nothing. He took a step closer to the man, getting in his face. “You didn’t do shit for me.”

  “I broke my back for your Black ass.”

  “You took care of me because the law made you. You took care of me and Bria because you had no other options. Aside from doing what you were legally obligated to do, you didn’t do shit. And you don’t fucking own me, either. I don’t care if you paid every single expense I ever asked. You don’t fucking own me.”

  As Kit spoke, he realized he wasn’t just talking to his father. He was talking to more than him. He was addressing Dorian, and Jaylen, and the people who’d hurt him before. In a way, he was talking to himself. The side of him that still felt weak. The side that told him to give up when the going got tough.

  “You wanted me to cut myself open for you because you bought me some fruit snacks back in ’04? Negro, please.” Kit laughed. “I’m gonna be completely honest since this is a family meeting. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve wondered why it is that I kept hoping you’d come around and realize how insufferable you were. As much as I said I hated you, there was still a little piece of me that wanted the dad everyone on TV had. I wanted the dad that was proud of me. I wanted the dad that talked about me to his friends, that wanted to show me off and encourage me to do whatever it is that I dreamed of. But I didn’t get that one.

  “I got you. I got the dad that told me all about how I’d suffer for the rest of my life because I let the devil in. You were actually kind of right about that. The moment I let you have an impact on my self-worth, I suffered. And every single day since then, I’ve hurt. But I’m done now. I’m done holding onto this image of who you’re supposed to be, and I’m taking you at face value.”

  Kit stepped closer again, forcing Dorian to take a step back. “You’re spineless. You rely on people being afraid of you, but when they realize that you can’t do anything to them, you crumble. We were afraid of you for years, and then when we got out of the house, we found out you were just as weak as everyone else in the world. I thought I needed you, Dad, but it turns out, I’m good on my own.

  “I have a job. I have a boyfriend that would move mountains for me. I have a sister that raised me with the love of a mother, a mother that came back to make some changes, and a best friend that would take a bullet for me. You? You have a hotel room with bed bugs and a bum kidney. I don’t need you. You need me.”

  Kit finally stepped back and looked at everyone in the room. “Does anyone have something to add to that?”

  Tonya finally turned over on the couch to look at her husband. “Do you have anything to say to him?”

  Dorian nodded. “I found out two days ago that I got bumped up higher on the list. So, I don’t need you after all, Kit.”

  Kit expected to feel angry at the sentiment. He was ready for his rage to kick in, or at the very least, his heart to twist at the utter lack of humanity coming from his father. Instead, he felt bulletproof. Dorian’s words didn’t matter, no matter how cruel he wanted to be.

  Bria tapped her wooden spoon clean and wiped her hands. When she was done, she lifted the pot of soup from the stove, stepped up behind Dorian, and raised her arms high, dumping the steaming broth over his head.

  “What the hell?” he cried, jumping away in pain. Blindly, he stumbled across the room.

  “Get the fuck out of my apartment,” she said, raising her voice over his pained shouts. Kit was too stunned to say anything. The only thing he could do was watch as Bria shoved Dorian towards the door. He fumbled to get it open, and when he did, she pushed him again. “Looks like the only thing you need is another trip to the hospital.”

  And with that, Bria slammed and locked the door. “Who wants Thai food?”

  *

  Kit spent the rest of the night with his mother and sister. As much as he complained and groaned about Tonya being around so often, this was what he’d needed. He’d bared his soul to his father and the only thing he could say was that he didn’t need Kit.

  He replayed the soup dump over and over again. In his mind, there was no way Bria could ever top telling their parents to “suck her asshole,” but somehow she’d done it. He didn’t even mind the fact that the three of them had to mop up the soup afterwards. It was a chance to bond with his mother in a way that he’d never done before.

  Tonya placed an arm on each of their shoulders. “I’m sorry for your father. I’m sorry I believed him when he said that he wanted to fix this.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Kit shrugged. “You’re here. You made the effort. You came back to actually fix us. He didn’t, and that’s why he’s not with us.”

  “One day your father will look back on this night and realize how badly he screwed up,” Tonya murmured softly. “Kit…”

  “I’m not going to let him back in. He made it clear that he still wants nothing to do with me. For all I care, he can spend every day of his life suffering. He spit in everyone’s faces when we were willing to give him yet another chance.”

  Bria hugged him tightly. Tonya stood beside them, watching quietly. Without a word, Bria opened her arm for her mother. Tonya stepped inside and hugged the two of them as well.

  When Trish returned home with takeout, Kit took a seat at the table while everyone else ate on the sofa. He needed time to himself, at least for a little while. So much had happened in such a short amount of time, and he needed a second to process it. He needed to, for a lack of better words, stew.

  For twenty-three years, Kit wondered what it felt like to be free. He wondered what it was like to not have to worry about the nights where he lie in bed, trying to sleep while the demons of his past relationships haunted him. Was this what Roman felt like when Michelle was finally caught?

  His phone buzzed. Roman.

  “Hey,” he said, lowering his voice. Kit stood and stepped out onto the fire escape. It was much quieter out here than it was with the three women inside laughing at the raunchy comedy they’d put on.

  “Hey.” Roman’s voice was like silk. “You left work in a hurry. I wanted to make sure that everything was okay. You are okay, right?”

  “I think so. Me and Bria pretty much told my dad to go fuck himself and never talk to us again, sooo.”

  “What?”

  “It’s a
long story. Just know that I’ve gotten the last toxic person out of my life.”

  “Now you can go clubbing with Chad in peace.”

  “Are you mad that I didn’t invite you, Romy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Poor baby,” Kit teased. He took a seat and brought his knees close to his chest, looking down at the city below. “How about I take you clubbing this weekend and we can get freaky somewhere?”

  “Now you’re talking my language,” he laughed. “Really, though, are you okay? I know your situation with your parents was tough the last time we really talked about it.”

  “I’m gonna be okay. My mom and Bria are really all that I need. I remember what you said about family. About how important it is to you. And it’s that way for me, too. I spent so many years hoping that maybe one day my dad would come around to love me, and because I put so much focus on that, I missed all the people that I actually had. I’m never making that mistake again.”

  “You’re adorable when you’re sentimental, you know that?”

  “I’m adorable all the time, what you mean? In fact, I’m so adorable that you should come over to my apartment and see. I’ll show you.”

  “Someone’s feeling like a frisky kitty tonight.”

  “I am. So, are you coming, or are you gonna leave me in heat?”

  Roman laughed again. “I’m on my way, baby. I’ll see you soon.”

  “I love you, Roman.”

  “I love you, too.”

  35

  Safe

  Kit stumbled over his own foot, laughing when he just barely managed to keep himself upright. “Roman, just give me a hint where we’re going,” he whined. He couldn’t even walk normally, and here he was, expecting him to walk with his hands over his eyes. Roman didn’t budge though. He kept his palms flat over Kit’s eyes while he steered him in the proper direction.