No Time For Sergeants

by Mac Hyman

  But he wouldnt budge; he kept beating away and rattling the door until he got tired of it, and then he went over and set down on the steps, shaking his head and saying, “Nosir. Me and him never got along nohow and this is the last hell straw.”

  So I finally just set down there with him, thinking he might sooner or later remember somebody in some other part of town that he was mad with, but we hadnt been there no time when this car come down the street with its spotlight shining up in the yards and everywhere, going real slow, and I knowed it was the police time I seen them. But Bart still wouldnt move, so we watched them stop and then seen them hopping out around the sides of it, both of them with their pistols out already, and it made me feel right ornery watching. I mean it looked like everywhere I went, folks were jumping out of cars pointing guns at people, and you get kind of tired of that after a while.

  And then somebody inside the house put on the porch light and there we sat with the spotlight from the car on us and up the walk come the policemen with their guns out and everything, and it was right wearing. They come striding up saying, “What’s going on here?” and then McKinney came out of the door, and there he was toting a gun too with his eyes real big, and all the neighbors was standing out on their porches watching; so I just moved aside and tried not to listen to it any more.

  The police knowed Bart right off, though. When they seen him, one of them said, “It’s him again. I told you so, didnt I? Didnt I? Didnt I tell you so?” and the other one shook his head and said, “Aw, come on, Bart, what are you doing now?”

  So then Bart started trying to tell them what all McKinney had done, and then McKinney busted in telling them what all Bart had done, and they argued about it a good bit. McKinney said he wanted Bart locked up and he didnt mean maybe; and then the policeman got right mad too, only he said he didnt want to lock Bart up because he had just let him out last week. He said, “Now, Mac, I just aint going to do it. We’ve had him up there four times in the last two months and he just lays around and eats moren any four mules you ever seen—by God, Mac, I just cant afford, to keep him up there no longer. I got other prisoners to think of and they aint going to put up with it much longer neither and I cant say I much blame them.”

  Then Bart busted in again saying he just dared them to try to take him in, and then McKinney said, “Listen to that, will you?” and the policeman said, “Yeah, that’s what I am listening to and if I take him up there, that’s what I’ll have to listen to for the next two months, and I got a wife and family living downstairs in that jail, Mac, and it just aint fair of you to expect me to take him back in there no more.”

  Anyhow, they was arguing so hard that there is a chance McKinney never would have seen me because I was setting back in the dark, but about that time the other policeman looked around and said, “What about him?” and then the older policeman saw me and said, “Yeah, that’s it! Now we’ll take him in, Mac, if you want us to, but this other fellow, I . . .”

  So then McKinney seen me and I mean that really set him off. His eyes got big and he backed off and then he stepped up again getting red in the face, and before it was over, he was taking on worse than he did the first day he come out to the place. He told the police that I was that Stockdale boy and that I was the draft-dodger that was supposed to report today and didnt do it, and more things than I ever heered before. I finally stood up, and he begun pointing his finger at me again and raving around, and the policeman kept nodding his head up and down, listening and smiling, saying, “Yeah, that’s it, Mac. He’s the one all right. Let’s lock him up and let this other one go.”

  “I want them both locked up,” McKinney said. “I tell you he’s dangerous and I know.”

  “Well, let’s lock him up because he’s the one that . . .”

  “Nosir,” McKinney said. “I mean both of them.”

  So they argued about it some more, and McKinney held to the point. He said, “You let him out first thing in the morning and see that he’s in front of the courthouse at seven sharp. I dont want him left around town here at all. I want him on that bus in the morning.”

  So they finally decided to do that, and it was all right by me. In the morning I would get on the bus and it would give me a place to stay that night besides. And then Bart spoke up and said if that’s the way it was, he would go along to jail after all. He said he was going to stick with me all the way. He took on a good bit that way going out to the car, and I kind of appreciated all the things he said, but I was tired and hungry and really didnt care too much one way or the other. And to tell the truth about it, I didnt look forward too much having to spend the night with Bart nohow, knowing there warnt no way of getting away from him. I really couldnt much blame the way the policeman felt about him at all.

  But Bart acted real nice once they got us back to the jail. He showed me around and seen that I got the best bed and introduced me to everybody, and seen to it that we got something to eat and everything. It just went to show what a good friend he could be if he liked you, and I appreciated it too because I was right tired and my feet was aching and I was kind of wore out with things anyhow. Because when you come right down to it, I didnt care so much about the draft in the first place.

  5

  Anyhow, I got up real early the next morning and dressed waiting for them to let me out, thinking I might have a good chance of getting out before Bart woke up, but the sun was already up when they come after me. But they didnt have no trouble with Bart at all, it seemed like, once I was ready to go. He acted real nice and didnt raise a ruckus or anything and seemed right satisfied to be right where he was. It’s that way with a lot of folks though—when they’re doing what they want to do, they are just as nice as they can be. And I dont guess Bart had ever found a place in his life that suited him as much as that jail did; he just didnt seem like the same person somehow.

  When I was ready to go, though, they decided I had better have a guard go with me and they got this little fellow that come up to about my shoulders to go along. The courthouse was only half a block from the jail, but this fellow was right nervous and jumpy and wanted to walk behind me and all like that. He kept good guard all right, but his lips was trembling the whole time and he kept jumping and jerking every time I moved, and after a while he begun to make me kind of nervous too. I mean I had to watch myself and move real easy to keep him from getting any more upset and all. When we got to the courthouse steps, I set down real slow, and when I started to roll a cigarette, I was careful about that too, and I had to talk in practically a whisper, so I begun to get right anxious for the others to show up so we could get on the bus and go.

  Anyhow, they started coming up a little after that, dribbling up in twos and threes and standing around on the steps smoking and talking to each other. I nodded at the first few that came up and would have spoke if they had nodded back, but didnt none of them do it; they just went over and stood amongst each other. They seemed like a right nice bunch, though—the only thing was, I dont guess it made such a good impression on them because I had this guard with me. And they was mostly town boys and knowed each other, and they was dressed alike in their spotted shirts with the tails hanging out and these slick-looking pants and things, and I still had on my khakis and brogans; so I didnt let it bother me none. I figgered we would get along all right once they seen that fellow warnt much of a guard at all, so I didnt push it none. I set there and smoked and watched them come up, some of them in cars that their folks drove, waving good-bye and all like that, and then standing around joking with each other and all. And there was one of them I watched a good bit because he seemed kind of different from the others and stuck out, so to speak. I mean he kind of stood away from the others and was real quiet and had these dark glasses on and held his back real straight, and he didnt go around punching at everybody like the others did. He would just look at them real serious when they came over to speak to him, and then he would kind of nod his head a little bit, like he was thinking of something els
e; and then he might mumble something and they would all stop and listen and wait for him to say something else. But then he usually wouldnt—he would turn his head away again and take a big drag on his cigarette and blow it out real smooth and steady, kind of twisting his head around to look at something across the street.

  So I watched him and heered them calling him “Irvin” and tried to figger him out. I didnt have no luck at it, though, until I heered this one fellow say to somebody else, “That fellow’s had ROTC,” or something like that. Anyhow, I didnt know what it was because I never had heered of it before, but then I heered this other fellow mention the same thing and see how impressed they was by it, so I finally figgered that he must still have a touch of it in him. I mean I got to thinking that at one time or another, he must have almost died from it. So they seemed like a real nice bunch the way they made on over him and everything, and I kind of admired it the way he acted too. He didnt ask anything from nobody but stood there just as straight as he could like he could take care of himself no matter what.

  Anyhow, in a little bit, McKinney come walking up, and was grinning and taking on real merry with everybody himself, and acting real nice about everything. He said, “Well, you boys go up there and show them the kind of men we raise down here,” and they all joked back at him; and then he said a lot of funny things like, “Dont take any wooden nickels,” and “Dont do nothing that I wouldnt do,” and “Be good, and if you cant be good, be careful,” and a lot of things like that. Course he didnt speak to me or nothing, but he did seem a lot nicer once you seen him being friendly that way.

  And then he done something else I thought was real nice of him too. He went over and patted Irvin on the back and said, “Irvin, I want you to keep these boys in line now. I’m leaving you in charge of them for the rest of the way, you hear?”

  And Irvin nodded his head, just as casual as he always was, and said, “Okay, McKinney,” like it didnt mean a thing to him. He kind of took a deep drag on his cigarette and then held it between his fingers and flipped it out in the street, like if they wanted to make him head man, that was up to them, and he hadnt asked for it all.

  So I thought it was a pretty decent thing for McKinney to do, but about that time McKinney kind of tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Come over here a minute. I got a few things I think I better tell you before I leave here,” kind of cocking his eye at me when he said it. And then he got Irvin over to the side and got right up in his face and talked and talked, looking over at me every once in a while. And then Irvin would kind of glance back over his shoulder at me and then nod his head again, and then McKinney would get to going again. And in a few minutes there was three or four of them ganged around listening with their heads popping around at me and then back at McKinney again; so I seen then he warnt putting no half-dead man in charge just to be decent. He was just using him. Once I figgered I warnt going to stand for it no more, but time I made a move to get up, I heered the guard suck in his breath real deep and I looked around at him and he was right white in the face, so I set down again.

  So I didnt do nothing, and then McKinney got out in front of them and made a little speech, saying as how Irvin was in charge and for everybody to do just what he said and all like that, and then he said “Good luck” to everybody and raised up two fingers and went on off down the street. And then everybody got to joking around again, and then Irvin got out in front and made a speech too about how he expected everybody to behave and how he was going to assign seats to everybody and all like that. So then they joked some more and took on a good bit, and there was this one fellow called Lucky that kept everybody laughing all the time. When Irvin said he was going to assign seats to everybody, this fellow said, “Well, I got a seat all right but I just got to find a place to put it,” and everybody laughed a good bit about that one. He told it a few more times, and then he told the fellow next to him, “I want a seat for my seat,” and said a lot of crazy things like that that just kept everybody laughing all the time.

  So I kind of got to enjoying it and nearly forgot about McKinney, and when I seen Irvin heading over toward me, I nodded my head and smiled real pleasant at him. And I stood up too, even though it did make the guard jump. But then Irvin walked right up to me and said pretty rough, “Stockdale, I dont want any trouble out of you, you understand that? I dont want one peep out of you. You get on that bus and sit down dont open your mouth until we get out. You might as well start learning something right now—when you’re in the Army, you do as you’re told.”

  “Sho, I will, Irvin. Whatever you say.”

  “My name to you is Blanchard,” he said.

  “Oh,” I said. “Well, whatever you say . . . I’ll do whatever you say.” It did kind of get away with me, though, because I had been smiling so pleasant when he lit into me that way.

  And then he kind of cocked his head to one side and looked at me kind of funny and said, “You aint trying to get smart with me, are you?”

  “No, I aint . . . I just want to tell you about McKinney. He . . .”

  “Well, dont,” he said, and then started to turn away and walk off, but then he stopped and said, “And I thought you was so tough . . .” but then he caught himself and said, “Not one peep, you understand?”

  And I said, “Whatever you say . . .” and set back down because by that time he had walked on off and I didnt have a chance to explain nothing to him.

  So then I set back down and everybody went over and crowded around Irvin asking him all sorts of questions and things. And after that they kind of started making remarks at me. They kind of held back at first until Irvin stepped up and said kind of short, “Hey, boy, you aint planning to go AWOL, are you?”

  So I looked up and said, “What’s that?” and he come back with, “You wouldnt know if you went, would you?” Then everybody kind of laughed, and then come ganging around, and all of them got started on me. I mean they would ask me things like had I ever been in town before, and had I ever rode in a bus before, and things like that. And then Lucky asked if I had rocks in the bottom of my shoes to make me think I was barefooted, and everybody laughed and hee-hawed about that one, and I did too because I thought it was right good; but then they got rougher and rougher, so I got where finally I wouldnt say nothing at all. I mean Irvin was standing there and he was in charge and all, and I warnt going to cause him no trouble if I could help it. So finally I just wouldnt say nothing and set there smoking like I didnt even hear them. So they let me alone for a while, but when the bus come up, Irvin give me a shove and said, “Let’s get moving there, boy,” and that kind of set them all off again.

  But anyhow, I kind of enjoyed the trip up there. I got me a seat in the back of the bus and after a while they sort of forgot about me and I got a kick out of it. I had been to Pinehurst but that was as far north as I had ever been, but that day we went right on through Pinehurst and come to another town just as big, and then another one that was as big as Callville and Pinehurst put together, I bet. And in a couple of hours we went through Macon and I bet it took us half an hour to even get through the place. Then after Macon there were some more towns and looked like we never would quit going through them all. Anyhow, I really enjoyed it that way but somewhere between Macon and Atlanta, I dozed off and didnt wake up again until we was finally at Fort Thompson.

  Anyhow, I must have been sleeping pretty hard at the time. I remember I was dreaming about fishing down on the creek and all of a sudden this moccasin come skimming across the water and bit me right on the leg. It really made me hop because the pain was running all through it and when I come to and seen Irvin and all the others standing there over me, it was just like he was the snake and had changed into a man all of a sudden. So I started at him before I knowed what I was doing. I reached out and snatched him by the neck so he almost come over the seat, and then I swung him around and was just ready to bust him one before I come to and knowed what I was doing. And of course it was too late by that time, and I felt like a
dog mighty quick, too. I hadnt hit him, but I had scared him a good bit there for a minute and I felt pretty low about it.

  And he got pretty mad about it when he seen I warnt going to hit him, and I didnt blame him at all. He cussed me right through his teeth with his eyes squenched up and when he got through cussing me every way he could think of, he drawed back and give me another good kick in the shins. I had it coming too. I reached down and rubbed it and said, “I’m sorry, Irvin. I guess I didnt know what I was doing or something,” and humbled myself a good bit that way.

  And after that, I set out under a tree waiting for us to go wherever we was going and didnt nobody say nothing to me for a good while. They was all kidding around and making on over Irvin for the way he tied into me, and I was kind of glad to see it too. I felt so low treating him the way I had that I was glad to see any good he could get out of it. All I could do was cuss myself and wonder if I could ever get things straightened out again after the way I had started off, and get along in the draft, and not have no trouble, and just get along with everybody from then on.

  6

  Anyhow, they finally took us down to this place that had a lot of bunks in it, and I went down to the end to get away from the rest of them and set down on the bottom bunk and rolled me a cigarette and was just getting ready to light it when this scrawny little fellow with big glasses on walked right up to where I was setting and stood there looking at me. He didnt say nothing, just stood there, and when I looked up to see who it was, I seen it warnt none of the bunch that had come up with me. He was real little and he had on this uniform that was so new it still had the sideways creases in it, and he had on one of them little half-hats that are supposed to set on the side of your head, only his set all the way down on his head and come almost to his eyes. And the pants he had on was mighty near long enough for me—he had them rolled up about a foot off the floor—and he had on this coat with brass buttons that looked too big for him to even be toting. And besides that, he had this bag over his shoulder that you could have put four of him in, and he stood there looking at me with the sweat rolling down the side of his face, looking right miserable, so I knowed right off I hadnt seen him before; and the first thing I wanted to do was to jump up and help him with it all.