Chasing Hope

by Dana Wayne

  “I’m sorry, Maddie.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t really remember him anymore. Mama said he loved us in his own way, but I think she just says that to make me feel better.”

  There was another pause.

  “Besides, I wouldn’t want him anyway if he didn’t want me.”

  “You wouldn’t?”

  “No. I mean, if somebody doesn’t want you, why would you want them?”

  “Yeah. I guess so.”

  “Is Max gonna be your daddy?”

  “What? No. I mean, he’s a friend and all but no, nothing like that.”

  There was another short pause before Maddie spoke again.

  “I wonder why he didn’t say goodbye before he left? We didn’t get to pick out our tree or ride the wagon or anything.”

  “He probably thinks y’all are mad at him.”

  “Why would he think that?”

  “He got into a fight.”

  Sky heard the indignation in Maddie’s voice as she spoke up.

  “So what? Max didn’t start it. That poopie head Mr. Jackson did! And you were gonna fight him, too. I saw you.”

  “Yeah, well, he was talking about my mother.”

  “I bet he don’t do that again,” said Maddie firmly. “Max will kick his butt.”

  Logan snickered. “You’re a pistol.”

  Sky decided now was a good time to intervene. “Snack time.” She walked in and placed the tray on the coffee table.

  “I’ll be right back,” said Maddie as she left the room.

  Assuming she was going to the bathroom, Sky set the goodies down and joined Logan on the couch.

  Max winced and pushed himself up from the bed and limped toward the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of alcohol and some gauze from the bathroom on his way. He needed strong coffee, sooner rather than later. The shower could wait.

  He placed the meager first aid supplies on the table. As he filled the carafe with water, he spared a quick glance toward Sky’s kitchen. She walked through the door toward the hall that led to the living room, a tray in her hands.

  He assumed it was hot chocolate and popcorn—Maddie’s favorite treat, one they’d enjoyed just last week watching some cartoon movie the child wanted to watch.

  He pulled himself away from the window and started the coffee. As he headed toward the bathroom, a light knock pulled him to the back door.

  He frowned. I thought I’d left it unlocked for Logan.

  Only it wasn’t Logan on the other side.

  It was Maddie.

  “Can I come in, please? We need to talk.”

  She stalked in without waiting for a reply and stood by the table.

  Max looked outside, then shut the door. “Does your mom know where you are?”

  When he turned around, her blue eyes widened until the whites were visible all the way around. “Oh Max, you’re really hurt.”

  Suddenly self-conscious, he lowered his head. “I’m sorry, Tink. I’m a mess.”

  She came over and took his hand, pulling him back to a chair at the table. When he sat down, she stood beside him, one hand on his shoulder, one still holding the hand she led him by.

  Head down, he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing got past the lump in his throat. Nausea rolled in his stomach, and he clenched his jaw tight, willing the contents to remain where they were. His other hand rolled into a tight fist on his thigh.

  The silence didn’t last long.

  Maddie delicately patted his shoulder. “I’m so sorry you got hurt, Max.”

  He got hurt? She was worried about him?

  To keep her from having to look at his bloody and swollen face, he kept his head averted. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, Tink.” His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard before he could continue. “And I’m so sorry I scared you and that you got hurt and I—”

  “I didn’t get hurt. But I was scared. A little. At first anyway, cause Mr. Jackson is a bad man, and I was afraid he might hurt you. But I should have known better cause you’re a soldier, and you know about fighting, and he’s a dipstick, and I’m glad you beat him up.” A quick intake of breath, and she continued. “But don’t tell Mama I said I was glad you hit him. Even though I think he deserved it.”

  What?

  He straightened and faced her, only to duck his head again, ashamed of how he looked.

  She calmly put a finger under his chin and turned his face to hers.

  All four-foot-nothing-Maddie-on-a-mission met his one-eyed gaze. “He said bad things about Logan’s mother, and he made me fall down, so you kicked his butt. That’s what heroes do.”

  “H-heroes?”

  She gently touched the seepage from his swollen eye. “Heroes don’t let bad people hurt other people,” she said softly before placing a kiss on his cheek. “You’re a hero.” She patted his shoulder again. “Where’s your first-aid stuff?”

  “My what?”

  “First-aid stuff. Mama always says you have to clean cuts so they don’t get infected.”

  She stood beside his chair, one brow arched up.

  “Oh.” He nodded toward the stuff he had picked up in the bathroom.

  “Mama’s gonna have to get what you need. This isn’t much, but will do for now.”

  She opened a gauze pad, soaked it in alcohol, then gently dabbed it on the abrasions across his face and both hands. “Sometimes Mama will blow on it when she uses alcohol, but it doesn’t really stop it from stinging.”

  Her soft breath warmed more than his skin.

  “But I like how it feels.”

  She said nothing more as she continued to work on his face and then his knuckles. When she was done, she stood back and checked her handiwork.

  “Okay. That’s all I can do. Mama will take care of the rest.”

  She took his hand and led him out the back door.

  “Where’s Maddie?” asked Sky.

  “I thought maybe she went to the bathroom,” answered Logan.

  Sky walked down the hall and checked the bathroom, then Maddie’s bedroom. Where could she have gone? In a flash, she knew.

  Max.

  She hurried back toward the kitchen, stopping as the door opened and Maddie came in, dragging Max behind her.

  “I did the best I could, Mama, but you’re gonna have to clean his mouth and his eye cause all he had was alcohol, and I don’t think you’re supposed to use that there.” She literally pushed Max into a chair at the table, barely taking a breath. “I told him we’d take care of him.”

  Sky wanted to laugh, to cry, to…something, but couldn’t move.

  He was here.

  Max must have taken her hesitancy as a bad omen because he tried to stand. “I better go.”

  She morphed into action. “Move from that chair, Max Logan, and I’ll black your other eye. Sit down and let me look at you.”

  “I’ll get the first-aid kit,” said Maddie.

  A silent Logan lounged against the kitchen counter as she cleaned the cut on Max’s lip. “It’s not bad,” she said softly, “No stitches needed. Might make…some things painful for a few days.” Heat infused her face. She wondered if he knew she meant kissing?

  When his one good eye narrowed and his breath hitched, she knew he did.

  Maddie stood beside Sky, carefully watching her every move. Her daughter had such a kind and loving nature, Sky knew she would make a wonderful nurse. Or doctor.

  The fact that she had taken it upon herself to check on Max said volumes about their relationship, which made Sky even prouder.

  “You did a good job cleaning his hands, Munchkin,” she said softly.

  “I remembered how you did my knee when I wrecked my bike.” She leaned in for a closer look at his lip. “Does it still hurt, Max?”

  He cleared his throat. “No. Not much anyway.”

  “I would have decked him.”

  Logan’s quiet statement had them all looking his way.

  “I know,” said Max. “But this was between h
im and me.”

  “It was my mother he dissed.”

  “And my friend.”

  There was a tense pause before the boy spoke again. “He’s really an a—uh, jerk, isn’t he?”

  Max nodded.

  “Thank you,” said Logan. “For standing up for us.”

  Sky saw Max swallow hard before nodding again. It didn’t surprise her that praise embarrassed him. He didn’t think he was worthy of it. He was wrong.

  “Is the sheriff gonna arrest you?”

  Logan’s question interrupted her musings.

  “He better not,” snapped Maddie as she stood beside Max. “Mr. Jackson had it coming.”

  “Maddie…”

  “Tink,” Max turned to face the child. “Fighting rarely makes a situation better.”

  “He started it.”

  “Doesn’t matter who started it.” He looked at Maddie, then Logan. “I’m not proud of what happened today.”

  He ducked his head as though gathering his thoughts, and Sky’s love for him grew. He was an honorable and decent man. He wanted them to understand that fighting didn’t solve the problem.

  “I’ve learned that sometimes you have to fight to protect what’s yours. Or to help someone who can’t help themselves.”

  “I know,” said Maddie firmly. “That’s what heroes do.”

  He shook his head. “I’m no hero, Tink. I’m just a man. A man who’s made mistakes, done things I’m not proud of.” He pulled in a deep breath and looked at Sky.

  Her heart swelled. Could she possibly love him any more than at this moment?

  “I’m just a man who would do anything to protect those he loves.”

  Max held his breath and waited for Sky to respond. He got the impression she wasn’t upset, but at the same time, his own insecurity was at an all-time high, and he prayed Coop’s insistence that he talk to her was the right move.

  Then, she bent down and took his face in her hands and brushed a tender kiss over his swollen lips. “And that’s one of the reasons I love you, Max.”

  Without thinking, he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her, his faced buried in her chest. “Oh God, Sky. I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you, too.”

  Maddie clapped her hands and laughed. “Finally!” She looked at Logan, who remained against the counter. “Wanna go watch a movie with me while they talk some more?”

  “Is it all right, Miss Sky?”

  She didn’t get up from Max’s lap as she smiled at the boy. “Of course. I’ll order us a pizza in a minute.”

  He looked at Max. “Thanks for letting me stay another night.”

  “Anytime.”

  He started for the living room, then stopped. “Maddie’s lucky to have you in her life.” Face scarlet, he added, “So am I.”

  Once they were alone, he turned his good eye toward Sky. “I really am sorry things got so out of hand today.”

  “To be honest, Max, I think it was bound to happen sooner or later. There’s just too much history there.”

  “Doesn’t make it right.”

  “No, but it doesn’t make it wrong, either.” She sighed. “I don’t like fighting. Like you said, it rarely solves a problem. The thing is, I don’t believe you should ever start a fight, but when one is thrust on you, you don’t walk away.”

  She shifted on his lap and looped her arms around his neck. “So, just how sore is your mouth?”

  “Sure you don’t mind picking Maddie up after school today?”

  Max tucked her against his body, still flushed from their midday tryst. It was difficult to find alone time with Maddie around, but since Sky was off this week, he’d made it a point to come home for lunch every day.

  The week was almost over, and he’d yet to have a meal. And couldn’t be happier about it.

  “I don’t mind. I already cleared it with Jason. Thought I’d take her by the Dairy Barn for a soda. Maybe give you enough time to finish your schedule before we head out to the tree farm again.”

  Sky’s hand made little circles on his chest, interrupting his train of thought.

  “Maybe they won’t run me off.” He was only half joking.

  “There’s not a person in this town who blames you for what happened,” she said indignantly. “Ruby told me this morning he came in the diner yesterday acting like nothing happened.”

  “That’s how he rolls.”

  “She also said people are giving him hell over the incident. Some are even refusing to go to his store if he’s there and he’s letting his manager handle things.” She paused. “Maybe he’s learned his lesson.”

  Max snorted. “I doubt it.”

  “I talked to Anna today. She’s really going to consider moving back after Logan graduates. Her folks are doing the retired and traveling thing and she has no ties there.”

  “That’s nice. I guess. I just hope Cade doesn’t ruin things for her.”

  “Well, according to good ole Edith Huffman, he can either straighten up and fly right or he may as well close up shop and leave town.”

  Max pulled her tighter against him. I’ll never tire of this feeling. “We can hope.”

  “Does Logan still want to join the Marines?”

  “Yeah. I suggested he get some college behind him first, maybe go in as an officer.”

  She turned to face him, a tender smile on her lips. “He really looks up to you.”

  Embarrassed, he shrugged. “He just needed a male perspective.”

  “And there is no one who fills that role better than you.”

  “I’m not—”

  She put a finger to his lips. “Enough talk. How long before you have to go back to work?”

  He glanced at his watch. “Only have a few more minutes.”

  “How shall we spend them?”

  “I got an idea or two.”

  At precisely three-fifteen, he waited by the curb with all the other parents, his heart beating a little faster as he considered the plan. As soon as they got home, they would complete the great Christmas tree hunt ruined by Cade on Sunday. Then they would enjoy hot chocolate, popcorn, and Christmas music as they decorated the tree, followed by pizza and more Christmas music.

  But there was one thing to be done first.

  Maddie came running down the sidewalk toward him, and his chest boomed with pride when she flew into his arms. “Hiya, Tink. How was your day?”

  “Great, now that you’re here. And only one more day of school until we get out for Christmas.”

  He buckled her in the back seat. “I thought we’d stop by the Dairy Barn on the way home, if that’s all right with you.”

  “Yes, sir! May I have a root beer float?”

  “You certainly may.”

  A few minutes later, he parked and took a deep breath. “Before we go inside, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  “Okay.”

  “Unbuckle your seat belt so you can sit up here with me.”

  Once she sat up front, his courage began to fade.

  “Is something wrong, Max?”

  “What? No. It’s just…well, I…I need to discuss something with you.”

  “Okay.”

  “I love you and your mother very much. You know that, right?”

  “Of course. You tell us that all the time.”

  “Well, when two people, a man and woman, love each other, they, well, they…”

  “Get married?” Her question was so soft he almost didn’t hear her.

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  Her expressive face brightened to the point he thought she would jump out of the seat in excitement. “You want to marry us?”

  He smiled. “That’s exactly what I want to do. But only if it’s okay with you.”

  She clapped her hands together in front of her chest. “Of course it’s okay with me!”

  He smiled and took one of the velvet boxes from his pocket. “I got this for her. Do you think she’ll like it?”
>
  She leaned forward and gaped at the sparkling diamond solitaire he’d picked out this week. “Oh Max, it’s beautiful. She’s gonna love it.”

  Then her face drew up in frown. “So, if you marry us, do I still call you Max?”

  This was the part he wasn’t sure about. He had yet to talk adoption with Sky, wasn’t sure how she’d feel about it, but in his heart, Maddie was already his daughter.

  “I’m going to leave that up to you. I’m okay with whatever you want to call me. As far as I’m concerned, you’re already my little girl.”

  “Y-you want me to…to be y-your daughter?” Her tender voice shook, and tears crowded the corners of her eyes.

  “I do.”

  Her chest rose and fell quickly. “So…so…I could…I could call you…Daddy?”

  He swallowed hard. Hearing the word from her mouth made his heart roll over in his chest. “I’d like that very much. But, know this, Maddie. Whatever you are comfortable with is all right with me.”

  She launched herself across the seat and threw her arms around his neck. “I want a Daddy more than anything.”

  So choked up he couldn’t speak, he simply hugged her to him. After he composed himself, he pushed her back a little. “Okay. For now, Tink, this has to be our secret, because you see, I haven’t asked yet if she wants to marry me. She might say no.”

  “Oh please, get real.” She patted his arm. “She’s just waiting for you to ask.”

  He laughed, something he’d been doing a lot of lately. “Tonight’s the night.”

  “I have never seen a more beautiful tree in my life,” said Sky as she stood back and eyed their handiwork.

  “Yes, ma’am, Miss Sky,” said John, who was a last-minute addition to the party thanks to Maddie. “That is the prettiest tree I’ve ever seen.”

  “Turn out the lights, Da—uh, I mean, Max so we can turn on the Christmas tree ones.”

  Sky looked at Maddie and not for the first time tonight wondered why she was so excited. At first, she passed it off as the sugar high from their stop at the Dairy Barn, but it was more than that. And she and Max kept looking at each other and grinning like they had a secret.

  Max turned out the room lights and hit the switch on the tree just as the first notes of Silent Night drifted through the television speakers.