Caught Up In Love

by Parker, Weston

  “A little.” I had cried so much the pillow was wet, and so was Jasper.

  “A little, my ass. You’ve been at it for hours by the looks of you. Is this about the surprise? I take it he fucked that up.” She walked me over to the couch, and we both sat, her keeping at the edge of her seat. “Tell me all about it.”

  “He’d made such a big deal out of the surprise that I guess I kind of let my imagination get away from me.”

  “High expectations? Did you set yourself up for a letdown?” She waved her hand. “I do it all the time.”

  “Well, the way he talked about our futures together, it just made it seem like he wanted to marry me.”

  “Oh, so you were expecting a proposal?”

  “Maybe. Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. I wanted it to be that kind of special. Instead, he showed me the Vance’s overflow warehouse and told me he’d bought it for me.”

  She made a face like she’d just tasted a lemon. “Why would he buy you an old warehouse?”

  “Because he wants it to be my studio.”

  Her mouth gaped open, and she gave a little squeal. “Aw, that’s so sweet. He believes in you, Sage. And he said your futures, as in together?”

  “Well, yeah, but—”

  “Oh my gosh, Sage. Are you daft? It’s like a promise ring.”

  “But I told him that I needed time. And then he bought me a building as if I couldn’t still say no? Isn’t that fucked up?”

  She gave me a look as if she were uncertain. “You’re probably not going to like me when I don’t agree with you, but let’s face it, Sage. He’s only trying to better your life, and from the way he talks, he plans to be in it with you, whatever the crazy ride is. If he had proposed, what would you have said?”

  “Yes, of course.” I started to ask her if she was daft, but I wasn’t in the mood for teasing.

  “And if you married him, would you turn down his offer?”

  “No, probably not. But I just wanted time, and he couldn’t give me that.”

  “It seems he was just trying to help, Sage. I’d take it easy on the guy. You should call him.”

  I shook my head and pulled the throw from the back of the couch over my legs. “I can’t. I’ve fucked it all up. And maybe it’s for the best.”

  “How could you have fucked it all up?”

  “I was mean, and he got mean. I threw a rock at him, and it bounced off his chest and broke his wine glass.”

  Lissa burst out laughing but quickly recovered. “I’m sorry,” she said, covering her mouth. “But that’s funny. I bet he didn’t see that coming.”

  “Yeah. He didn’t. He was pretty pissed off at me.” My face contorted, and then fresh tears leaked from my eyes.

  “Hey, no more crying, badass. You can’t make a stand like that and then sit around sulking. Besides, I’m sure that you can still fix it. Do what I do.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What’s that?”

  “I pretend it never happened, and I go over there with my tits out, and Christian forgets everything that happened. We fuck for a few hours, and there we are, back to magic and fairy tales.”

  “But your relationship sucks.”

  “Hey, it doesn’t suck. It’s not perfect, but show me one that is.”

  “Before yesterday, I would have shown you mine and Greyson’s. I feel horrible, but I just can’t take his warehouse and his offer. It’s not who I am.”

  “You don’t want to be his charity case. I get it, but come on. There’s nothing wrong with accepting a gift.”

  “Flowers and candy are normal gifts, Lissa. This is more like bribe-level gifting, and I didn’t need his help. If I needed a place to pull off the job, I’d have gone out and bought it myself.”

  Lissa rolled her eyes. “With what, Sage? Your pretty smile.”

  “See, you are as bad as he is. You assume I have nothing because I live a simple life.”

  She seemed a bit confused. “What, are you sitting on a gold mine or something?”

  “I’m doing okay.” I gave a shrug and looked away, trying not to seem overly suspicious.

  But Lissa narrowed her eyes and leaned in closer. “How much of a fortune are we talking, friend?”

  “Several hundred—”

  She rolled her eyes. “Several hundred?”

  “Thousand.”

  “Wait, several hundred thousand? Are you serious?”

  “Give or take a few. Yes, I live a cheap life. Why do you think I give so much back to the community through charity?”

  “I’ve never asked what you are donating. I thought you spent a hundred here or there.” She got to her feet and began pacing the room. “Where did you get that kind of money, Sage?”

  “Dad’s insurance, and he still had money from your boss for selling the Muddy Rudder and for owning it all of those years. Then, there was the property he owned and a boat that he sold before he passed away. He wanted a large nest egg for me.”

  “I had no idea. But now I guess it makes sense. I just thought you were good with money.”

  “I am, but only because I don’t spend it. My dad never let me know he had this much, but he had gone on and on about my mother trying to run off with his money, so I’ve always hated spending it. I mean, I keep the place up, I pay my bills, I donate to charity and go about my day to day. I have all I need.”

  “But you could have so much more. A new house, a bigger one? A nice car? You still drive that old truck of your dad’s.”

  “I like it here, and I like the old truck.”

  She gave me a look of pity and walked over to sit by me again. “You’re just afraid of change.”

  She had hit the nail on the head, and it stopped me in my tracks, my mouth closing as I thought of how much change could hurt. I had watched my young life change and clung to all of my mom’s habits, her stones, her oils, and her sage, to keep her there with me. Then I’d kept on living in the house and driving my father’s truck just to keep him alive and with me too. I hadn’t ever let myself dream of anything bigger or better for fear that I’d be like my mother and lose myself to a new life where nothing mattered. She hadn’t even cared to see her child, and every time I’d wanted to go and visit, she would tell me no.

  “Does Greyson know you have money?” She seemed hurt that I’d never told her. “I mean, it shouldn’t change things, but if you just explained that to him, maybe he would understand. I’m being very understanding for someone who just found out that everything I ever knew about you is several hundred thousand dollars off.”

  “You don’t understand, Lissa. The way he talked to me, the way we talked to each other. It’s over.” I felt miserable admitting it, but it was the truth, and the sooner I accepted it, the better. Nothing mattered anymore.

  “Come on. He’s probably thinking about you right now, wishing it was all better.”

  “He hasn’t texted or called. Not since he checked on me last night. He just wanted to make sure I wasn’t dead.”

  “Have you called him?”

  I hated it when she had a valid point. “No. I wouldn’t know what to say.” I had made a fool of myself, and every time I thought of throwing that rose quartz at him, I wanted to crawl under a rock.

  “Do you love him?”

  So much it hurts. “Yes. You know I do.”

  “Then you better get your ass over there and fight for him. Deal or not, he needs to know how you feel about him. He needs to know where you’re coming from. Do it, or you’ll regret it forever, Sage.”

  I gave a nod, but I just couldn’t show my face. “I think I just need time, Lissa. I mean, it’s all going so fast. I’ll take a little time, and if he really cares, he’ll still be around.”

  “Fine, I can respect that. But just for the record, I’m very hurt that you didn’t tell me about the money. I’m your best friend, Sage. You can trust me with that kind of stuff. And now, I want to warn you that when you try and talk yourself out of things when we go shopping, well, I’m not going to l
et that happen.”

  As sad as I was, I couldn’t help but share a smile with her.

  “This explains all of those amazing birthday and Christmas gifts you buy me,” she said.

  I smiled and gave her a nod. She didn’t know about all of the donations to the children’s home I’d made in her name. Some things would remain a secret.

  35

  Greyson

  Two long weeks had passed, and while Lissa had promised me she’d tried to talk some sense into Sage, she was still hurt over the building and didn’t want to see me. Lissa had told me she needed time, and all I could hope for was that she’d come to me someday, wanting another go at things.

  In the meantime, I’d finally finished my boat. It had been a labor of love and longing for a future with Sage on the ocean with me. Christian had helped a lot too and really proven to be a good companion during my time of grief, although he was a bad influence.

  “Are we going to see if this thing floats or not?” he asked.

  It was finally time to see all of my hard work pay off, and while I could see one of my dreams right there in front of me, it didn’t mean much without Sage there. But I wasn’t about to call her. I’d sent one final message to her two weeks earlier, and that was all I could do.

  “Give me a minute, man. I’m going to have to charge my phone if I want photographs.”

  “What are you going to name her?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to think of something, but it’s probably not a good time for it.”

  Christian groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of naming it Sage.”

  “Actually, I thought of Serenity. But I’m not sure.” I wasn’t about to tell him I had wanted to name it Sage. I’d never hear the end of it.

  “Serenity is cool. I fucked a girl named Serenity once. Please tell me you’re not naming it after her. She was a weekender. Could have been from New York. I never asked.”

  As he rambled, at least he worked. He helped me position the boat so that we could roll it off into the slip. If it made it that far, then I would know it could at least float, and then I’d have to finish up the tiny details down below, where I had a small cabin just big enough for two.

  We wrestled with the guide ropes a bit, but once we had them ready, we carefully lowered her into the water, and I held my breath.

  “Fuck,” I said as it hit the water. “How’s it doing?” While I could see with my own eyes, I needed to make sure what he could see on his side of the boat.

  “She’s holding up. You better get aboard and see if she’s good inside.”

  I rushed to the upper level of my ladder and made my way aboard. “Looks great up here. Let me get below.” I hurried in and found everything dry. “I did it.” I sank down to my knees in the cabin, thinking about all I’d accomplished.

  And how it meant nothing without Sage.

  “You all right in there?” called Christian.

  “Yeah, it’s great. I’ll be up in a bit.”

  “It won’t be long now, and we can take this bad boy out fishing.” He had talked for hours during the building process about fishing and all of his big catches. It was nice remembering some of my own fun memories with my grandfather and the big ones we’d caught, but I was more concerned about making new memories with Sage and wondered if I’d ever get that chance.

  I climbed up to the main deck and stepped off the ladder. “Yeah, it’s going to be nice.”

  Christian shook his head. “Call her.”

  “I can’t. I said I’d give her space. And since I tend to keep fucking shit up, I think it’s best I don’t call or text until she’s ready to talk to me. She told me before that she needed time, and what did I do? I bought a building and tried to force her into a decision. Look what that got me.”

  “Would you at least be happy about the boat? It’s been your dream. It’s why you moved here.”

  I looked at my boat. And while the white and navy boat was just how I’d imagined it, there was something missing. “The boat was only half of it, Christian. I came here to find my true love.”

  “So name the boat True Love, because that’s all you can depend on, man. I mean, if Sage can’t appreciate you trying to help her out, then maybe she’s not the girl for you. It’s like I said. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and with a boat like this, you’ll surely catch those fish.”

  “I’m sure it’s not all I might catch.” I had seen some of the skanks he messed around with, and if I was ever going to have a chance with Sage, I couldn’t lower myself to that kind of thinking. “You know what’s worst of all?”

  “What, the fact that your belly-aching over your chick is ruining our perfect bro moment?”

  “No, it’s that I had made such a big deal about the surprise that I think she thought I was about to propose.”

  “No shit?”

  I sank down on my stool and looked up at the boat, which still hadn’t taken on any water. “Yeah, and then I show her a photograph of an old building. I should have gone about it totally different.”

  Christian chuckled. “What would you have done? Proposed to her? I mean, it’s nuts. You’re still getting to know each other.”

  “Maybe that’s how it should be. Why do people have to wait until they know everything about each other before they get married? I’d still get to know her, and I know there’s not a damned thing in the world I could ever not like about her.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Oh, but I do.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the tiny stone.

  “What’s that?”

  “A lucky charm. At least, I hope.” I had held on to the thing and hoped that somehow its magic would be real and it would lead her back to me.

  “Yeah, maybe she is the one. You are just as strange as she is with your little pink rock.”

  “It’s rose quartz. The stone of love and romance, and I still somehow managed to fuck up our date.”

  “You brought that with you?”

  “She threw it at me, actually. Hit me too.” I was sort of in a daze, staring at the tiny pink stone.

  “In the head? Cause you’re acting like you’re missing brain cells. Look at that sweet boat. How it hugs the water perfectly with its sturdy hull.”

  “If you start saying she’s yar, I’m going to have to name her the True Love.”

  “What the fuck does yar mean?”

  “Quick to the helm, easily maneuvered. It’s from an old movie.”

  “Was it an action flick? I love action flicks.”

  “No.” I shook my head, realizing what different worlds me and Christian came from. What was I even doing here anyway? I had only accomplished half of what I’d set out to.

  “When do you want to start with the interior?”

  “I don’t know. Now that the house is painted, maybe next week.”

  “It looks great.”

  “Yeah, I was glad to see they didn’t sabotage me on that job. They are all so loyal to Sage and could tell something was up. I walked out there the last day, and I was pretty sure they were talking about ways to kill me.”

  Christian chuckled. “That’s about right. Those guys care about her. They just want to see her happy.”

  “I want the same. Trust me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I just don’t know what to do but wait.”

  “I think you should come out tonight with me and Lissa to the bar. Sage might be there, and if she is, you could make a move on her. She isn’t going to say no to you. And even if she does, there are others there who would give their souls to be with you.”

  “I don’t think that’s a smart idea. Besides, Sage is my soul.”

  “Dammit,” he said, rolling his eyes as he began picking up the tools that we’d scattered. “You’re already sounding like such a wuss. No wonder she doesn’t want you. She probably wants one of those greasy roughnecks at the lumberyard, and who could blame her?”

  “Hey, fuck you. She doesn’t want that kind of
man.” I wasn’t even sure I could defend it, but it didn’t matter. He was only fucking with me. Which totally worked. I was getting too sensitive for my own good. What the fuck was I going to do without her?

  I got up and began picking up the tools with him, and then we both had a beer and sat out on the pier. The last time I’d been there, it was with Sage. She was everywhere.

  “I’m thinking if things don’t work out, I may go back to New York for a while. It might be time to give it some distance.” I could feel bad there just as easily, but at least I’d be around Eric and Cassie.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to say that. I just knew if things didn’t work out, you’d be out of here.”

  “It’s just for a little while. At least until I feel it’s time I can come back and settle, and maybe I’ll just be a weekender too.”

  “I’ll call her for you before I let you do something like that.” He took out his phone.

  “Don’t, Christian. She doesn’t want to talk to me. And I don’t want to talk to her until she does.” The lie might have been more convincing had I not followed it with a groan.

  Why did it have to be so bad? All I could do was hold my breath and pray she’d come back to me.

  36

  Sage

  It wasn’t that I didn’t still love him, but I had to take a break from Greyson to determine what I wanted out of life. Not just with him but with everything. A lot of what Lissa had said had stuck with me, and even more of my own thoughts had bled into the conversation we’d had, which parts of it had played in my head over and over again since.

  She was right. I hadn’t let myself move on, and I needed to do something; to make a bold move of some sort to step out and try something new.

  After being late for work two days in a row, I knew what it was. “I’m taking off early today,” I announced. “Someone else will have to do the lunch run.”

  “I can handle it,” said Tommy. “You lowlife’s tell me what kind of slop you want, and I’ll go and get it.”