When Ashes Fall

by Marni Mann

  She was right.

  And she was so fucking sweet.

  I leaned toward her and put my hand behind her head, steering her face to mine. When our noses touched, I closed my eyes to inhale her scent.

  Cinnamon.

  I hadn’t realized how much I liked that smell or how much I’d missed it in the last two days.

  Or how I couldn’t get enough of it.

  I closed the distance between us, and her mouth molded against mine, parting only to fit my tongue. My other hand went to her face, and I held her as close as I could get her.

  I only pulled away when I needed to take a breath.

  Even then, I pecked her lips before I backed up any more.

  “Two cheeseburgers, cooked medium, both with Swiss cheese and fries,” the bartender said. In my peripheral vision, I saw him place two baskets on the bar. “Can I get you anything else?”

  “Cake,” she whispered.

  I turned to the bartender and said, “Any desserts?”

  “I can probably scrounge up some ice cream.”

  “We’re good,” I told him.

  I knew our food was waiting for us on the counter, but now that I was looking at Alix again, I couldn’t glance away.

  I needed to know something first.

  “Are you going home tonight, or are you going to come to my place?”

  She said nothing.

  She just looked at me while the emotion came back and played inside her eyes.

  Slowly, she seemed to pull herself out of it, and her hands went to my collar, fingers clenching to pull me closer.

  I smiled as her lips pressed against my ear.

  And, once I heard, “Yours,” my dick began to throb.

  Thirty-Seven

  Alix

  Present Day

  “Do you want anything to drink?” Smith asked when we got back to his place.

  He walked over to the fridge while I stayed in front of the island, gripping the edge of the counter with both hands.

  The buzz that had started to come on at the bar was killed once I ate the greasy cheeseburger and fries.

  I didn’t want to drink any more.

  Tonight, I needed to take in every detail even though this would be one of the hardest things I’d ever done.

  Alcohol would make it easier.

  It would take the edge off.

  It would lighten the guilt that was about to strangle me.

  But I’d made the decision to come here, so I needed to be clearheaded the whole time.

  “Just some water,” I told him.

  He grabbed two bottles, unscrewed the caps, and gave me one.

  The second I took a sip, I felt his hand on me.

  I swallowed.

  Barely.

  Tingles were bursting all the way down to my feet and shooting straight up to my neck.

  The emotions were doing the same. Some were really starting to strengthen, our time together tonight only adding to what I had already been feeling. Some were chipping away at me, like an ice pick breaking up a massive block.

  I put the water on the counter.

  I tried to focus just on his hand.

  It felt incredibly good.

  How he reached for the same spot every time, one that was lower than where Dylan’s hands always landed.

  How his thumb grazed up and down when his other fingers stayed still.

  How he used a strength that was much more powerful than I was used to.

  I wanted him to feel different.

  I wanted them to be nothing alike.

  Everything about Smith was hard.

  His body.

  His past.

  His features that made up the most handsome face.

  The only exception was the way he treated me, and that was so beautifully soft.

  Now that my hand was free, I turned back toward him, and I watched his lips slowly approach.

  I wanted them.

  I loved the way they felt against mine, how they were so tender.

  How, once they touched me, every part of my body would start to respond.

  With his tongue on mine, his hands suddenly slid up my sides and stopped right next to my breasts.

  His thumbs flicked across my nipples.

  They were so sensitive.

  I hadn’t been prepared for that sensation, so I couldn’t stop the moan that came out of me. It was so loud, and it filled the inside of his mouth.

  Each time he brushed across my nipples, I made the same sound.

  I could feel the wetness in my panties, my clit throbbing to be touched.

  My entire body was screaming.

  And, as though he heard it, his hand began to lower.

  His kisses turned hungrier.

  He reached the waist of my jeans and was sliding underneath it.

  Having him between my legs was all I could think about.

  But that felt like a storm.

  The biggest one of my life.

  And, because of that, it felt as though droplets were trickling across my forehead. That the wind was picking up, singing caution into my ears.

  The sky needed to calm down.

  So did I.

  Even though this moment was so right, I had to go do something that was so wrong.

  I pulled away from Smith’s mouth, staying close to his face to catch my breath, and I gripped the top of his hand, so it wouldn’t go any further.

  I thought of where I could escape to.

  It certainly couldn’t be his closet.

  And then I thought of it.

  “I’m just going to use the bathroom,” I told him. “I’ll be right back.”

  There was one off the living room, and I walked in and shut the door behind me. I gripped the sink with both hands, staring at the porcelain bowl, huffing like I’d just climbed ten flights of stairs.

  Slowly, I looked up at the mirror.

  I was startled by the smile.

  This was what Smith had done to me.

  He’d created these feelings inside my body.

  Along with the ones that were still picking away at my chest.

  I was so used to the expression I wore for Dylan; I barely recognized that it was me staring back.

  But tonight was different than the last time I had been here.

  It wasn’t going to end the same.

  I was staying until the morning.

  And, if Dylan came home, I wouldn’t be there.

  I just needed … to let him know.

  I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my phone, pressing the number for Dylan’s cell.

  It didn’t ring.

  It just went straight to his voice mail. “You’ve reached Dylan Cole. Leave a message.”

  Beep.

  “Hi. It’s me,” I whispered. “I don’t know why I’m even doing this, but it just feels like the right thing.” I turned away from the mirror. “Or not … I don’t—God, this is so hard.” My thoughts were so jumbled; I wasn’t making any sense. “I don’t know if you planned on coming home tonight.” I tucked my other arm around my stomach, hoping the pressure would make it stop aching. “But, if you are, I just wanted you to know that I won’t be there.” My voice was even softer now. “I’m sorry, Dylan. I’m so fucking sorry. I …”

  I couldn’t justify what I was doing.

  And I wasn’t going to.

  He knew why I was here.

  And he knew why I couldn’t make things better between us.

  “I hope I see you when I get back home,” I told him.

  My hand shook as I held the phone to my ear.

  I realized what I had just said.

  And how badly I had meant it.

  “Good night, Dylan.”

  I ended the call and put the phone back in my pocket.

  I turned toward the sink again.

  I breathed, shoving the thoughts out of my head as I remembered who was waiting for me in the kitchen.

  When the smile returned to my f
ace, I walked out of the bathroom.

  Thirty-Eight

  Smith

  Present Day

  Alix stood in the entryway of the kitchen, staring at me while I put a bite of strawberry cake into my mouth. I’d taken the slice off the counter, not even the least bit hungry, just to see if I could make her smile.

  That was all I wanted right now.

  Because, when we had been kissing just a few minutes ago, I’d lost her.

  I’d felt it the second it happened, and then she’d pulled away and gone into the bathroom.

  But, as I looked at her on the other side of the room, the pain was starting to fall out of her eyes. I could only hope that, by distracting her, getting her mind off whatever was eating at her, I could eliminate it altogether.

  So, I held up the plate and said, “Want a bite?”

  She said nothing.

  I lifted the fork and ate off a chunk of frosting. “I bought chocolate, too, just in case you wouldn’t try the strawberry.”

  I held it out for her to get a better look, and she took a few steps closer.

  “It’s from the bakery in Roxbury, the one I was telling you about,” I said.

  I hadn’t been sure if she’d come back to my place tonight, but I’d wanted to be prepared in case she did. That was why there was chocolate on the counter and several more slices like it in the freezer.

  I watched her stare at the piece.

  It had six layers, three of icing and three of cake—all in pink.

  Still not giving me a response, I cleaned the rest of the fork with my tongue and dipped it back into the dessert. I took off a decent-sized bite and held it into the air for her. “If you hate it, you can spit it out, and I won’t even judge you for it.”

  The smile was traveling up to her eyes.

  Finally.

  But she still hadn’t moved, so I stuck my tongue on it and said, “Look, I haven’t poisoned it.”

  I saw the fog lift from her eyes.

  Her laughter only confirmed it.

  I just wondered where she had gone and what would happen if she didn’t return to me.

  “Open up,” I said as I moved the bite toward her.

  She surrounded the metal with her lips, and the fork was completely clean when I pulled it out.

  There was a lightness to her expression.

  It had come fast, and it stayed.

  “What do you think?” I asked.

  “It’s nothing like the fruit.” She swallowed. “I expected it to be tart, but it’s subtle and really creamy.”

  “You like it?”

  She licked the corner of her lips and said, “It’s not chocolate.”

  Now, it was my turn to laugh. “But it’s fucking good, isn’t it?”

  She tried to hide her smile. “It’s definitely better than I thought it was going to be.”

  That meant she liked it.

  I cut off another piece and held it out to her. “Do you want more?”

  She nodded and chewed this one much faster. When I was prepping to feed her a third bite, she grinned at me and blinked several times.

  That smile.

  She was back, and there wasn’t even the smallest bit of pain on her face.

  I was so fucking relieved.

  I set down the fork and put my hands on her cheeks and licked the frosting from her lips. “Strawberry tastes delicious on you.”

  She laughed again.

  God, I’d never get tired of that noise.

  I took my time with her mouth, working my hands up and down the sides of her body, taunting myself each time I got close to her breasts.

  She was feeling the buildup the same way I was, leaning into me, forcing my hands to splay across her navel.

  That was the spot where I wanted to kiss her.

  Where I wanted to lick around her belly button before I dipped my face between her legs.

  But tonight wasn’t about what I wanted.

  It was about Alix.

  What she needed.

  What would make her feel the most comfortable.

  My lips fell to her neck and pressed just below her ear, gradually going to her throat and up to her chin. I grabbed her ass and squeezed.

  “Ahhh,” I heard, her fingers running up and down my abs. “Smith …”

  I kissed around the left side of her neck and down to her collarbone. “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No,” she pleaded. “Please, please don’t stop.”

  With my hands still on her ass, I pushed my cock against her, knowing she could feel how hard I was. And she did because she ground her body against me. I worked my mouth back up until it returned to her lips.

  “I want you,” I said when I took a breath.

  I needed to see her reaction.

  To make sure her words matched what I was feeling from her.

  Her eyes had turned feral.

  Her pulse was hammering away in her neck.

  “Then, come have me.”

  Goddamn it.

  I wanted to hear those words on repeat every morning when I woke up.

  I didn’t wait more than a second before I lowered my hands down her legs. “You’re mine now.”

  I lifted her into the air and carried her up the stairs. When I got to my room, I set her in front of the bed and surrounded her face with my hands.

  Before this went any further, I needed her mouth one more time.

  I kissed her, feeling her tongue on mine, holding her so tightly against me.

  When I let go, I didn’t waste any time, instantly reaching for her shirt. I took it off and knelt on the floor to remove her jeans and panties next. While I was down there, I looked up at her. “Jesus,” I groaned. “Your body is fucking perfect.”

  As she processed what I’d said, need pulsed across her face.

  The hunger in her eyes increased.

  I was sure she was only getting wetter.

  With her pussy so close to me, it was easy to check.

  I gripped her thighs and steered her toward me, pushing the point of my tongue in between her lips and slowly dragging it up. When I reached the top, I flicked her clit back and forth.

  “Smith,” she moaned, fisting my hair, rocking her hips forward.

  She tasted so good.

  I slid two of my fingers inside her, turning my wrist in a circle to grind through her wetness and give her the added friction she needed.

  “Oh my God,” she breathed.

  She was getting louder.

  She was constricting around my knuckles.

  She was close.

  Not wanting her to come yet, I pulled my tongue off her clit, and I stood. I barely had my hands up her body when her lips slammed against mine, kissing me with a hunger I hadn’t felt from her before.

  She reached for my clothes, undoing the buttons on my shirt and unzipping my jeans. I pulled off the rest, kicking it all to the floor, and then I guided her onto the bed. Once she was spread across it, I went over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom. I ripped off the top and rolled it over my shaft as I climbed on top of her.

  When she pulled my face toward hers, she wrapped her legs around my back. Her pussy was aligned with my cock, and I was in up to my crown.

  She was pulsing around my dick.

  “Fuuuck,” I hissed at her warmth, at her tightness.

  It was a tease.

  One I fucking loved.

  She nipped at my mouth, her nails digging into my shoulders, heels resting in the middle of my back. “Give me more,” she begged.

  It was the sexiest command.

  I went in a little further, and her moans began to echo in my goddamn ears.

  “Alix …”

  She was tighter and hotter, the deeper I went.

  “You feel so good.”

  It took everything I had not to plunge fully inside her, thrusting until the top of her head hit the headboard.

  But Alix didn’t need to be fucked tonight.

  She nee
ded to know how much I cared about her.

  And she needed to feel that in every stroke.

  I moved in halfway and slid back to my tip, squeezing her nipple while I gave her short, hard pumps. Her head fell into the pillow, and I swallowed her moan as I surrounded her mouth with mine.

  She was making every sound I wanted to hear, and she looked so fucking gorgeous while doing it.

  I leaned away, so I could see more of her, so I could watch the way her body reacted as I dipped all the way in.

  A quick flex of my hips, and I was buried.

  She sighed so goddamn loud, spreading her legs even further apart, her mouth now open. “Oh God, yes,” she groaned.

  My thumb went to her clit, and I rubbed across it. More pleasure was spreading over her face, and her pussy started to close in around me.

  “Fuck yes,” I growled. “I want you to come.”

  Her moans got louder.

  Her pussy felt even wetter.

  I sped up my movements and flicked her clit.

  “Smith!” she shouted, her chin tilting up, exposing her whole neck.

  From the way her body moved, I could see the orgasm rippling through her. I could hear its intensity from how loud she screamed, how good it felt from the way she was clenching my dick.

  When she started to come down, I switched to slow but deep strokes.

  That was when her chin dropped, and she gazed at me.

  Her hair was a mess. Her lips were ravenous. There was wildness in her eyes.

  She’d never looked more beautiful.

  I needed her closer.

  And I needed her mouth on mine when I came.

  I got on my knees and pulled her off the bed. “Wrap your arms around my neck,” I told her. Once she did, I put my hands on her ass and pounded back into her pussy. I glanced up at her face just as my balls were beginning to tighten.

  “Oh God,” she moaned, and I knew she was close again.

  “Hold me as tight as you can,” I warned before I reared my hips back and plunged inside.

  I went in deeper, harder, listening to the sensations she was feeling from the sounds she was making.

  Seconds before the orgasm blasted through my balls, my mouth crashed against hers, and I breathed, “Alix …”

  Her pussy clenched.

  My movements turned sharper and faster as wave after wave of intense pleasure passed through me. I knew Alix was feeling the same, and I wouldn’t let her go. I wanted her as close as possible while I lost myself inside her.