Tangled Hearts

by Laurie Ames

  Lena took a moment to plaster a smile all over her face before she swiped to take the call.

  “Hi, Mama. Everything okay?”

  “Of course, sweetheart,” Mom said. “How’s your day?”

  Lena pinched the bridge of her nose and tried not to focus on the mountain of paperwork that was piled in front of her. This was her mother. Her mother deserved her attention. Her mother was lonely. Even if this was the most annoying kind of call, it was still her mom.

  “Just fine,” Lena said. “Pretty busy.” Just for fun, to see if it would work this one time, she tried the same tactic she’d used many times in the past. “We’re close to a new deal with a pastry chef. Remember, I was telling you about the new location we were going to open downtown.”

  “Well actually, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about,” Mom said, and Lena stopped mid syllable. Her mother had desperately wanted her to go to culinary school, and Lena had done it, but after a few years of work in the restaurant business, it became painfully clear that her talents were more suited to management. It hadn’t ever bothered her as she turned out to be extremely proficient at making the restaurants run smoothly. She was great at smoothing difficulties with vendors and loved managing the chefs and servers. But her mother had always treated her like a big disappointment. Until this very moment.

  “Remember Sarah and Jonah Donaldson?”

  It took a moment, but Lena did. They’d been at Dad’s funeral. They’d kissed her cheeks and held her tightly, and they seemed to mean it when they said to let them know if she needed anything.

  “Yes. From church?”

  “Exactly,” Mom said. “You probably don’t remember Kelsie, their daughter, but she just graduated from the Culinary Institute, and she’s trying to find her first job, and – well, she’s a little unorthodox, and you know how that can be–”

  Just peachy. It absolutely figured that the first time Mom showed any interest in Lena’s career, it was because she needed a job for a friend of a friend. The woman networked like – well, like an old Greek woman.

  “Mama, I can’t just hire someone I’ve never even met.”

  “Of course not, Lena, that would be ridiculous,” Mom said. “That’s why I want you to come over on Saturday for a lunch. The Donaldson’s will be grilling, and Kelsie will be there. We haven’t said anything to Kelsie, of course, but you can meet her, try some of her cooking, and see what you think. I’m not a monster, Lena,” Mom said, her tone chastising. “I know you have a business to run. If you think she’s a good fit, then we can do them a good turn, but if not, I’ll never say another word.”

  Mom’s version of never saying another word was different from other people’s, but it was better than nothing, as these things went.

  “Okay,” Lena said, flipping open her calendar. “It’ll have to be early; I have a meeting in the afternoon.”

  “Lena, you own the whole business, why do you need to work on the weekend.”

  Lena bit her tongue. The ‘because owning the business is a responsibility’ conversation never went well. Dad had understood. Mom never had or wouldn’t. She’d never been entirely sure which it was.

  “I’ll be there, Mama, but I need to leave at 2.”

  “All right, Lena-love. We’ll see you then.”

  Chapter Two

  ________

  It was past five by the time Lena was able to power off her computer and organize the invoices she’d been struggling with all week. She was working on implementing a new inventory management system across the restaurants, and while the technical installation had gone fine, getting everyone on the same page about how to use it was a struggle. Some of her servers were still convinced that since they remembered numbers differently, the number of dishes sold was wrong in the software, and one of her chefs was vehemently insisting that using the inventory controls was stifling her art. She’d been putting together another presentation to show how productive the software can be – and how she could translate that in terms of new equipment and salary increases. Appeal to their economic interests, if not their art, she told herself. Just give it time to work, she hoped.

  With the business packed away for the night, she was ready to unwind at the lounge across town for a glass of wine and a laugh with her best friend, Melissa. The lounge wasn’t hers, which was nice. If she partied at one of her own businesses, she’d never get to relax.

  It was funny. She never meant to be into her 30s and still be hiding in the closet. She’d always planned to tell her parents that she identified as a lesbian, but only after she’d seriously found someone that was appropriate enough to bring home for a family dinner. Right now, it seemed like too much work to have that conversation beforehand. Then there had been the whole debacle while she was running Christos downtown, and then Daddy had died. She became quietly horrified at the idea of ever telling her mother, so it was easier to say nothing. Besides, she didn’t have time to date anyway. So, it was irrelevant.

  She locked the door and drove to Butterfly, where she could spend an hour without worrying about letting her secrets slip.

  She and Melissa usually went to Butterfly with the Friday night crowd, but sometimes afterwards, when Melissa went home, Lena went to Lounge 69, a gritty downtown lesbian bar that had a clean floor but a dirty parking lot. She didn’t hide from Melissa, but at 69, she didn’t hide from anyone.

  She didn’t think tonight would be a 69 night. She was bone-weary from trying to sort out the new software, and she wanted a drink, a chat, and a long, hot bath.

  Melissa normally claimed them a corner booth at Butterfly, but when Lena walked in, Melissa was sitting at the bar, and all the booths full. She recognized most of the Friday night regulars, but in their normal booth was a crowd of “just kids”. They were young not just in appearance, but in volume, in the casual way they all had their phones out on the table and alternated between talking to each other and talking on their phones.

  She would have thought they were adorable if they hadn’t been in her booth. Melissa was refusing to look at the kids because that just made her irritated all the more. She’d eschewed her usual chardonnay for what looked like some kind of … maybe an Electric Lemonade? It was neon blue, anyway, and the false-sweet citrus smell was painfully strong.

  “What gives,” Lena asked the air around herself as she slid onto the barstool.

  Melissa shook her head ruefully. “They got here first.”

  “Is that how this place operates?” Asked Lena, rolling her eyes at Dmitri, the tall dark-skinned bartender at Butterfly. She’d been trying to poach him for years, offering him his choice of locations, but he was firm in his loyalties. The bastard.

  Dmitri shrugged. “I offered to sit on the table and let Melissa tattoo her name on my ass so she could argue that she’d claimed it, but she was somehow resistant to the idea.”

  Lena made a show of standing on the bar rail and leaning over to get a good look. Dmitri turned sideways and lifted his ass like a model.

  “I would have taken that deal, Mel,” Lena said. “I think he works out.”

  “Our booth,” Melissa said, running her finger through the condensation on her glass and ignoring both of them just as fiercely as before. “Ours. Since college, Dmitri. Every Friday at 5, that booth is empty. Everyone knows. It’s not like Meadow Falls is so big.”

  Dmitri tossed a towel over his shoulder and folded his arms across his chest. “Kiss me, and I’ll go clear them out for you.”

  Melissa looked up at him, her eyes narrow. “Are you serious?”

  “I was serious about the ass tattoo, too.”

  “I want my booth, Dmitri.”

  “Earn it,” he replied.

  Lena wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen Melissa move so fast. She stood up on the rail, leaned across the bar enough to get her fingers into the cotton of Dmitri’s shirt and tugged him close. There was no way in the world she could have moved the big man if he hadn’t been willing, so when he ca
me across the bar to meet her mouth with his, the sizzle of tension was nearly audible.

  It was captivating, seeing that much need in one physical interaction. Melissa had been eyeing their bartender’s ass for many, many years, but she’d never responded to any of his gentle flirting, insisting that he was just searching for better tips. But now, there was a lot more happening. Lena liked seeing her friend being free and happy – but some part of her twisted up. She wasn’t having a midlife crisis, that was ridiculous, but it would feel nice to have someone to kiss.

  They broke apart with an audible pop, and Melissa licked her lips. Dmitri’s eyes were wide, his lips swollen from the fierce pressure. “Get me my booth,” Melissa said, settling back down onto her stool, “then come back and tell me when your next break is. Because we apparently have some things to discuss.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Dmitri said. Lena watched out of the corner of her eye as Melissa casually sipped at her drink.

  “So, I’m drinking alone tonight, then?” she said, forcing some humor into her tone.

  Melissa glanced over. “No! Definitely not. Just. Um. We’ve been talking about his ass for a while, and – I could use – “she shrugged.

  “An orgasm?”

  “Yes.”

  “So, I’m drinking alone tonight.” Maybe I will end up at Lounge 69 after all.

  “Not necessarily. I’m sorry. I’m not sorry.”

  “Don’t be really sorry but fake it really hard for a minute.”

  “Can do.”

  Melissa didn’t make it to the booth at all. She and Dmitri disappeared, and Lena ended up in their traditional booth alone. The kids had mostly cleared out – apparently, they’d been close to packing up anyway when Dmitri spun a story about an executive reservation – and Lena sat still, trying to understand when exactly things had gone so sideways.

  She’d never been exactly popular in school, but she’d had friends, and she’d never been alone when she didn’t want to be. She’d had plenty of boyfriends and relied on the excuse of Catholic upbringing to explain why she never wanted to do more than fool around. In college, she’d realized more about who she was and what she wanted, but she’d been so busy with culinary classes and business management courses that she never had time for more than the occasional dark fumble. And then she’d screwed up in her very first restaurant, therefore putting herself under a microscope, and it had never been worth risking what she’d built after that.

  She’d sworn to put the business first. She had needed to make her parents proud. If that meant she would hold off on relationships until she’d achieved a certain level of success, then so be it, that would be just fine.

  And that had been fine. It had been fine for years, but now she couldn’t put her finger on why it wasn’t okay anymore.

  “Did you really kick us out of our booth just so you could drink alone?”

  The voice that spoke to Lena was dark and warm, smooth. She didn’t hear any irritation in it – bemusement, maybe, and perhaps a touch of mockery. But no anger.

  She focused on the voice because the woman who was speaking took her breath away. She was tall and solidly athletic. Her skin was lightly tanned, and her hair flowed down around her neck like black ink on a piece of parchment. She had high, strong cheekbones, and her mouth looked like it was made for kissing. Her eyes were foxlike and had an icy grey-green hue like the first sprouts of flowers in the snow.

  Lena mentally shook herself. This wasn’t lounge 69. She needed to focus. Even though this wasn’t one of her restaurants, plenty of people she worked with could be here. This wasn’t the time or place.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, the truth bubbling out before she could think better of it. “I was going to be drinking with a friend, but then she took off with the bartender, and now I’m here by myself.” Well, that was slightly better than babbling about how gorgeous the woman was. Slightly.

  “I thought you guys were on your way out?” Lena continued. That wasn’t any better. She resisted the urge to clamp her lips shut with her fingers.

  The woman watched her for a moment, then slid into the booth across from Lena. Her fine eyebrows were arched high, and a smile that teased the corner of her mouth gave her the look of someone who was pleasantly surprised.

  “We were. They ended up going somewhere.” Her voice trailed off and she shrugged. “How corny would it be right now if I said I wanted to stick around and see about a girl?”

  Lena blinked. It took her a minute to get the reference. “Are you – did you just quote a Robin Williams film at me?”

  The girl raised one eyebrow higher. “Maybe.”

  Is she flirting with me? Lena took a deep breath, trying to slow down her thumping heart.

  “Well,” she said. “I guess it would depend on the girl you wanted to see.” She traced a finger down the cool side of her glass of wine, trying to find her inner cool. It was showing no signs of presenting itself.

  The girl raised her eyebrows a little higher, then raised a hand at the bar. The bartender who’d taken over for Dmitri – Sarah, Sally? Sandy? Something with an S – saw the gesture and nodded. Lena was casually impressed, the girl was here often enough that Sally or Sandy, knew her drink.

  “I’m Kel,” the girl said as she turned back. She extended a hand across the table. It took a moment before Lena took the hand. The girl’s grip was firm, solid, and her fingers and palms were well-callused. It was a nice grip. A pleasant shiver ran up her spine at the contact, and Lena firmly reminded herself that she was at least ten years older than this young lady.

  “Lena,” she replied, after a silence that had strung along until it was uncomfortable. It took another moment to remember why she needed to let go of the girl’s hand.

  “Look,” Kel said after another long moment. “I really suck at picking up girls. I’m pretty sure you’re trying not to look at my cleavage, but maybe you are? And if you are, do you wanna get out of here?”

  It was absolutely the worst pickup line that Lena had ever heard, but the answer was a strong, resounding yes. She wanted to be somewhere else, maybe even someone else. And this girl – she was just a kid. What could go wrong?

  “Yes,” Lena said. “I really do.”

  Chapter Three

  ________

  “So, this is me,” Kel said, spreading her arms wide and spinning just a little. She wore a long cotton skirt that flared around her knees in an innocent, childlike way. The loft apartment was tiny, but it was well organized. Soft, gauzy curtains hung down from the ceiling, creating partitions in the open floor plan, and twinkling lights hung from the ceiling, wound together with strings of ivy. The bed in the corner was covered in a plum purple duvet and mounded with pillows.

  “Sorry,” Kel said after the pause that once again grew uncomfortable. “I don’t have a lot of visitors. In fact – I mean, I hardly ever do this – “

  Lena lifted a hand and set her purse down. “No, I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m standing here like I’m judging you, and it’s completely wrong of me. Honestly, I don’t do this either. I was just trying to figure out how I go from admiring your décor to kissing you.”

  Kel laughed, and the sound was merry without being thin. “So, if neither of us do this, what are we doing here?”

  Lena stumbled over her words, suddenly unsure of what she wanted to say. What was she doing in this room and in this place with someone that reminded her of a mature teenager?

  Kel, however, read the sudden shift in mood and stepped in close. Her hands danced up Lena’s arm, watching her expression closely.

  “Hey,” she said, her voice as soothing as if she were speaking to a frightened animal. “Hey. I’m sorry. I was trying to tease. This is kind of ridiculous, but I just kind of figured – “her cheeks flushed bright red and she laughed.

  Lena picked up the thread. “Since I’m older than you, obviously I’ve done this more?”

  Kel gave a little shrug that was clearly as close as the girl was goi
ng to get to saying yes. “I didn’t mean that.”

  Lena found herself giggling. “Random sex, I’ve done. I promise. But this – going back to someone’s place and making conversation? This part I’m not so good at.”

  The girl’s pupils were dark enough to fall into, spreading out into the deep green of her eyes. “Well, then. Maybe we should stop talking.”

  She stepped into Lena’s airspace, and this, Lena knew how to do. Her hands went to Kel’s waist, digging ever so gently into the soft flesh, tugging her a little closer. Lena was all angles and Kel was soft curves; Kel was a little bit taller, but not so much that it made it awkward to lean in and kiss her.

  The first brush of lips was tentative, soft, and careful. Almost exploratory. The second brush came with Kel’s mouth opening in a moan, and the girl diving for Lena’s mouth, her tongue and teeth finding Lena’s lips and tracing them with soft heat. Lena pulled her harder, then trailed her fingers up the girl’s sides, light enough to be ticklish, to find the bottoms of Kel’s breasts. The girl made a sound that fell somewhere between a sigh and a moan, then broke the contact all of a sudden.

  Lena caught her ego before it fell to the floor and shattered. “Everything okay?”

  “My knees are weak,” Kel said, her voice a little broken. “I want to take you to bed.”

  “Okay,” Lena replied, and let herself be taken by the hand and led across the studio to a gauzy pile of pillows. Lena watched the girl have an awkward moment when she realized there was no graceful way to toss the fluffy obstacles onto the floor, then saved her by doing exactly that. She sat down on the edge of the bed and made a come-hither gesture to the girl. She knew what she wanted and was fairly sure the girl would oblige her. “Take off your pants.”

  Kel raised a surprised eyebrow at the simple command, but then willingly complied. She didn’t waste time making it a strip tease. She hooked her thumbs to the top of her leggings and calmly pushed them down her thighs, kicking them off in the direction of the pillow pile. Lena drank in the view of her beautiful freshly shaved vagina that peeked out slightly from the vee in her panties. She was wearing simple cotton blue panties, which was somewhat interesting. Lena guessed that she hadn’t gone out planning to pick someone up. Which was both flattering – it was one thing to get picked up for random sex, and another thing entirely to be so tempting that someone changes their plans – but also concerning – what would she expect after tonight. And then Kel’s mouth turned up in a soft grin, and Lena didn’t care anymore. When Kel stepped towards her, Lena leaned back a little on the edge of the bed, enough to give Kel space to kneel in her lap, facing her. It put an interesting discrepancy in their heights, letting Lena put her hand on the back of Kel’s neck and pull her down for another kiss. “Tell me what you want,” she whispered while breathing against the Kel’s mouth.