by M. J. Haag
Azio immediately reached for it. “I will give you all the food in this house in trade for this hat.”
“It is adorable, isn’t it? But trust me. It’s not worth that much. A baby will outgrow it before it’s worn more than a dozen times. Besides, I’m not interested in food this time.”
Azio lifted his gaze to meet mine. I forced myself to hold it even as my heart started to pound, and I grew lightheaded.
“What do you want?”
“I’d like to trade all of these clothes in exchange for living here for a few days. Maybe a month if you think that’s fair.”
His gaze flicked to Groth, then down to my hand.
“Where are your marriage rings?” The slow way he asked made my stomach dip.
“My husband, ex-husband, removed them. He doesn’t want to be married to me anymore, which is why I need to find a new place to live.”
Azio’s pupil’s narrowed, and his expression changed from calm to filled with rage. It was the first time I’d ever seen one of them angry. Even when they were killing infected, they didn’t look as mad as Azio did now. More fear pooled in my middle at the thought I’d committed a cultural faux pas that would require immediate death by head removal.
My knees buckled, and I would have gone down if he hadn’t moved with frightening speed.
His arms wrapped around my torso, and he pulled me to his chest instead of picking me up like he usually did. Firmly pressed against him, I trembled and struggled to breathe.
“I’m sorry, Terri. Forgive me,” he murmured into my hair.
“For what?” I rasped, already imagining what he was about to do.
“Scaring you.”
My spiraling panic froze, and I managed to lift my forehead from his shirt. But no farther. I was too afraid of what I might see if I looked up.
“I don’t understand,” I said, staring at the fabric.
“I am very angry, but not at you. Never you. My anger is for the human males who have so little regard for the opportunities we fey would die to have.”
“Is your ex-husband why you fear males?” Groth asked. “Did he hurt you?”
I could hear the promise of retribution in Groth’s tone, and with wide eyes, I finally looked up at Azio.
“Wayne never hurt me. Well, he hurt my feelings.” I glanced at Groth, who stood nearby. “But Wayne never hit me if that’s what you meant.”
Azio’s hand moved slightly against my back.
“Tell us why we make your heart race and skin reek of fear,” he said, his tone once more calm and gentle.
I frowned up at him.
“I stink? Please put me down.”
He immediately complied, but I saw the reluctance in his expression.
“I like how you smell under the fear.”
I opened my mouth to address that but then shook my head.
“Okay…I feel like we’ve gone way off-topic. Can I live here with you guys for a while in exchange for the baby clothes?”
“You can live here as long as you want in exchange for nothing but your company,” Azio said.
“Oh,” I said, stunned. His answer was better than I’d hoped for. It bought me some desperately needed time because I was far from ready to proposition one of them to secure a place to stay. “Can the clothes be in exchange for feeding me then?”
Azio grunted, and I couldn’t be sure if it was in agreement or denial. Rather than pressing the issue, I addressed the more immediate question.
“Where should I put my things?”
Azio gave me a tour of the house while Groth trailed in our wake. It was a little nerve-wracking, but I managed without needing to stop. The kitchen was on the ground level with a living room, bathroom, and utility room. A larger family room, bathroom, and two bedrooms were on the lowest split level. And three bedrooms and a bathroom were on the highest level. Overall, it was a comfortably laid out, large house.
“You can choose which bedroom you want,” Azio said when we returned to the kitchen.
“Thanks. Is it all right if I shower?”
“This is your home now. There are no rules. You may do what you would like.”
I nodded and grabbed my things from the table. As soon as I started up the stairs, the movie began to play quietly again—a sweet romance. I paused on the top step to make sure my ears weren’t lying. They weren’t. Both fey were intently watching the screen as the woman spoke to the man.
“She looks at his eyes,” Groth said.
“She does,” Azio agreed.
Knowing they were comparing her to me didn’t sit well. I hated that I fainted at the drop of a hat during stressful moments. Okay, not stressful. Terrifying moments. And I hated that I was so afraid of the fey. But couldn’t they see I was trying to overcome that? I was here. That was a step, no matter how small.
Hurt by the perceived judgment so soon after Wayne’s abandonment, I took the first room at the top of the stairs and gathered what I’d need for a shower. Azio’s comment about smelling like fear really bothered me, and I was looking forward to smelling like nothing but me.
I let myself into the shared bathroom and quietly locked the door before starting the shower. The hot water was magical. I soaped and rinsed everything twice, then reluctantly turned the water off.
Wrapping one of the soft, clean bath towels around my torso, I used my hand to wipe the steam from the mirror and studied my light brown eyes. They weren’t as puffy but watered just as easily as they had before the shower when I dwelled on my circumstances.
Instead of dwelling on the unknowns, I finger-combed my brown hair, then dressed in soft lounge pants. They were the only other option to the jeans I’d worn here. I didn’t have much. Not anymore. Things tended to be left behind when running for one’s life.
Balling up all my dirty clothes, I went downstairs to test if Azio had meant what he’d said. Neither he nor Groth paused the movie when I passed through the room, but I could feel their gazes on me until I disappeared down the hall leading to the utility room. There, I tossed my things into the washer and took the time to handwash my only bra. It’d been ages since it had seen soap because I’d been unwilling to leave the house without it.
In theory, that wasn’t a problem anymore since I no longer needed to leave the house.
Distracted by the task and my thoughts, I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone until I hung the bra on the drying rack and turned to leave. Only Azio’s quick reflexes stopped me from face-planting in his chest.
My forward momentum against the hands he clapped down on my shoulders jerked me in place, making my breasts bounce. His gaze locked onto the motion, and his pupils narrowed before expanding to an almost circular shape.
“I’m not afraid of men,” I blurted. “I’m afraid of what the fey are capable of.”
Azio lifted his gaze to mine, blinked at me, and slowly released my arms.
“I don’t understand.”
“I was there at the gates when the fey first came to Whiteman and again when the infected breached the fences.” I dropped my gaze to his chest and crossed my arms around myself. “I saw how easy it is for your kind to remove heads. Humans are nothing to you. We’re weak. Pathetic. The fey have been patient with us so far. But what happens when we do something you don’t like?”
Azio chuckled. Nothing dark and sinister but thoroughly amused.
“Like shoot us?” he asked, lifting his shirt to point to a scar along his ribs. “The human who did this lives. Humans do many things we don’t like. We don’t kill smart ones. Only stupid ones.”
“Shooting you seems pretty stupid.”
He grunted and tugged his shirt back into place.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Sure.”
“You seem to fear us more than most humans. Groth thinks your fear will drive you to choose a different home.”
I waited for more, but he remained silent.
“That wasn’t really a question.”
&
nbsp; “Will you give us a chance to be less scary?”
That simple question shifted something inside of me, and I looked up at Azio, seeing him as a man for the first time. A broad forehead with dark, arched brows, and thick eyelashes complemented his strong nose and curved bottom lip. If I could figure out how to ignore his terrifying eyes, I’d find him very handsome.
“That’s why I’m here,” I said, answering him.
Chapter Eight
Giving them a chance meant movie time. And since I sat between the two, I got to hold the bowl of popcorn. It wasn’t some microwaved stuff but honest to goodness theater popcorn with the salt and oil and everything. And I couldn’t stop snacking on it as we watched the animated movie Groth had picked.
I shifted my position and tucked my cold feet underneath me, careful not to spill the popcorn. Azio and Groth would help themselves to a piece every now and then, but they didn’t eat nearly as much as I did.
Between the cartoon playing on the screen and the food at my fingers, I was relaxed enough that I didn’t overthink my moderately sandwiched position.
“Jessie told Byllo that fish are not smart enough to talk here. We can still eat them,” Groth said.
“We don’t kill smart things,” Azio added.
They’d been making commentary since they’d lured me to the couch with popcorn. I didn’t mind the conversation. It was insightful hearing how the fey thought. Or, more importantly, the direction of their thoughts, which revolved around feeding me and helping me not be afraid of them.
“See? Not all creatures with sharp teeth are bad,” Groth said.
A few moments later, that changed onscreen, and Groth cringed. Hiding my smile, I consolingly patted his knee.
“That doesn’t mean you’re wrong. The shark just made a mistake.”
He glanced at my hand on his knee, and I quickly removed it.
“Sorry.”
“Kindness deserves no apologies,” Groth said. “You’re the first female to touch me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome?”
Azio chuckled beside me at the confusion in my voice.
“You don’t see it as the gift it is. You will.”
Rather than sort out what he meant, I focused on the movie. By the time it finished, I’d eaten all the popcorn, and lunch was the last thing on my mind. Yet, it was on Azio’s.
“Come. I will make your midday meal.”
I stood and followed him to the kitchen.
“Honestly, I’m not that hungry right now.”
“Popcorn is a snack. Not a meal. Jessie told Byllo. You need to eat a variety of healthy food, or you will get sick.”
I slowly sat at the table and watched him move around the kitchen with determination.
“If you really want to feed me, I’m not going to argue.” I doubted I would ever be able to argue with him.
“What kinds of foods do you like to eat?” he asked.
“All kinds. I’m not picky.”
“Were you picky before the hellhounds came?”
“Maybe, but in a different way. I wanted to eat whatever I was craving at the moment.”
He paused opening a can of soup and looked up at me.
“What are you craving now?”
“Now? Nothing, really. I’m too full of popcorn. It was too good to stop.” I smiled at him because he’d been the one to make it for me. He didn’t return my smile. Instead, he grunted and went back to opening the can of soup.
I was still wrapping my head around the fact that I wasn’t leaving in a few hours. That this would be my home now. With two fey. It wasn’t as terrifying a thought as it had been when I’d arrived.
In short order, the three of us were eating together at the table. It was as quiet as meals back in Tenacity but not as rushed.
“I’ve noticed some things and was wondering if I could ask a question that might sound judgmental but isn’t meant that way,” I said after a few swallows of soup.
“You may ask us anything,” Azio said.
Groth grunted in agreement.
“Every time I’ve been here, Groth’s watching T.V., and you’re never in any hurry to leave. Do either of you have jobs or do something during the day?”
They were both silent for a moment.
“We help with supply runs when it’s our turn. If Drav asks for volunteers, we volunteer. Sometimes we watch the other females learn to fight.”
I could tell by the way Azio spoke, he was trying to think of more.
“I watch movies to learn human culture,” Groth said.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that cartoons weren’t a great representation of that but stopped myself. Most of the animated movies still had lessons about kindness, friendship, and being helpful. Those weren’t bad traits to instill in men who liked ripping off heads.
“Back in Tenacity, I was the house cook for breakfast and dinner. I spent my time in between meals trying to trade for additional food. I was just curious what I’ll be doing here to keep busy.”
“Anything you want to do,” Azio said.
I’d been afraid of that answer. I tended to think a lot when I was idle.
We spent the rest of the afternoon watching more movies. They were entertaining enough, but my mind kept drifting to Wayne and how he’d treated me. Or how I’d treated him. Had I been bitter and thrown the vasectomy in his face? Not intentionally. But I hadn’t ever managed to make peace with it. Part of me thought maybe I should have. Then I would wonder why I thought my feelings on the matter should count less than his.
Round and round my thoughts went, dwelling the longest on the uncertainty of my future. How long until the fey tired of my company? Would it be smarter to offer to have someone’s baby now instead of waiting until the moment they decide to kick me out?
I caught myself spiraling in guilt, regret, and fear and forced myself to pay attention to what Groth and Azio were saying about the movie.
By the time the sun set and the wall lights turned on, I needed a better distraction and asked if I could make dinner. There were more packages of meat in the freezer, one of which I set to thaw for the next day.
Cooking with both of them watching my every move wasn’t as nerve-wracking as it could have been. They peppered me with questions about what I was doing and why I was doing it. Especially when I started using the spices they had in the cupboard. It turned into a mini cooking lesson that I thoroughly enjoyed.
I was no master chef by any means, but I knew how to spice up most dishes to make them taste better. Azio and Groth seemed to agree when they took their first bites.
After another quiet meal together, I did the dishes with Azio’s help then excused myself for an early night.
Alone in the relative darkness of my room, I thought I would dwell on everything that had happened to me. Instead, the combination of a full belly while snuggled in a warm and comfortable bed immediately pulled me under.
Wayne plagued my dreams. In one, he held me lovingly while telling me that he no longer wanted me as his wife. The contradiction between his actions and his words tore at me. The dreams grew steadily worse until the final one where he promised we’d be a family then threw our baby out the window.
Ripped from the dream, I sat up, heart thundering, unable to shake the anguish I felt for that imaginary child.
“It was a dream,” a voice said softly from the dark. “You are safe, Terri.”
I placed Azio’s voice before I saw his shadow in the doorway.
“Did I wake you?” I asked, struggling to calm down.
“No. I haven’t slept yet.”
I exhaled heavily and rubbed a hand over my face.
“Do you dream when you sleep?”
“Yes.”
“Do you ever have bad ones?”
“Many.”
“I hate those kinds. I’d rather have the good ones.” I scooted myself back, so I was sitting against the headboard.
“What are your good dreams?
” he asked.
I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could, another thought struck me. The door hadn’t been open when I’d gone to bed. I’d made sure to close it. And lock it.
“How did you open my door?”
“With my hand?”
His confusion only increased mine. I had locked it. Hadn’t I?
“Okay. Why did you open my door?”
He remained quiet.
“You told me you wanted me to give you a chance to be less scary. I’m trying to figure out what non-scary purpose you had for coming into my room in the middle of the night.”
“You were very quiet. I needed to see you.”
“Were you worried I’d left? In the middle of the night?”
He grunted, and I couldn’t tell if he was agreeing or just making noise.
“That would be the same level of stupidity as trying to shoot one of you. I’m not that stupid.”
“You’re not stupid at all. You’re beautiful.”
His words were equally worrisome and flattering.
“You do know that how someone looks has nothing to do with how smart they are, right?”
He grunted again, and I was beginning to think he did that when he disagreed with what I was thinking but didn’t want to say so. Instead of finding it annoying, it amused me.
“Well, I promise never to sneak off in the middle of the night. Does that put your mind at ease?”
He gave a very human shrug.
“What would put your mind at ease?” I asked, trying to find a compromise.
“If you slept with the door open.”
“I closed it to feel safer.”
“I will keep you safe.”
A snort almost escaped me since I’d closed the door to keep myself safe from him.
“I’d feel more comfortable and sleep better if the door was closed.”
He grunted again and reached up to rub the back of his neck.
“Will you tell me about your good dreams?” he asked hesitantly, bringing us back to his original question.
Unwilling to push my point and upset him, I let go of his invasion of my privacy.
