Squaring the Circle

by B K Brain

  Leave me alone…

  The shadowed gathering swam circles around her previous self, each with its own distinctive voice, mumbling. Attracted to her like- Like moths to a flame.

  The first voices I ever heard, the ones that started everything, were real.

  Implications flooded her mind. Meds don’t work when the hallucinations aren’t hallucinations. I fucking knew it. I’m not crazy. Okay, maybe she was a little crazy. She still had social anxiety, and the bipolar disorder was an actual thing. Fine. But the voices? Real. Always had been. What a bunch of dicks.

  But why were they attracted to her? What were they?

  All very important questions, but not now. Now was for getting back, helping David.

  I can do this.

  She looked away as her mind fumbled for a new memory, tried to concentrate. An old man in a picture frame. Hairy knuckles. Glasses.

  Could she speak to him? From here?

  David, can you hear me?

  Eddie wondered if communication was even possible, between the nothing of this and the something of that, past to future, her to him. Did their entanglement still apply, considering the span that now separated them? They were four years and an entire filmy world of existence apart. Were they still connected?

  Then, his voice. Eddie, where are you?

  I’m trying to get back. What’s happening?

  With you gone, Sam can’t hurt me. But I don’t know how long I can distract him.

  I think I’ve figured it out. Sam is both here and there.

  What are you talking about?

  Ever heard of Schrödinger’s cat?

  A pause, then, Holy shit.

  Everybody knew the experiment. A cat, out of sight, in two states at the same time; alive and dead. Just like Sam. Part of him existed in the real world. The rest of him, the part that shoved Eddie back to an afternoon of childhood games, was hiding in the behind place with the Gravitons. In two places, in two states, simultaneously. But only as long as nobody’s looking.

  If seen, the universe would be forced to choose where Sam actually was. There were rules, damn it, and he had to play by them like everybody else.

  Trick was, how to see all of him, both parts at once.

  Good thing David and Eddie were entangled.

  She focused on a new memory, one of a dark, creepy laboratory. Her consciousness began to move, pick up speed toward the present. Houses. Mailboxes. Eddie’s life. All blurred and too much to count. Fine by her. There were more important things, after all.

  Her name was Eddie and she wasn’t crazy anymore. Sort of. Anyway, she had a job to do.

  Time to open the box, asshole.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN: FAULT LINE

  1

  Nothing can touch you, my ass.

  David stood above the bloodied man on the floor, rubbing at an aching fist,

  feeling a deluge of satisfaction. Sam, beaten and bruised. Crooked, broken nose, spitting blood. He deserved more, so much more.

  How did it feel, to go from invincible to utterly broken? To know that consequences weren’t just for other people? To suddenly realize what a detestable piece of shit he was?

  David smirked. He could’ve stayed right there, in that extraordinary, triumphant moment, for a very long time. Pure bliss.

  But no, Eddie was coming and he couldn’t be anywhere near Sam when she arrived. She was getting close; he could feel it.

  Doug’s voice, from the shadows. “David, please.”

  David rushed to untie him.

  2

  The universe. A thinking, reasoning entity. David was smart, that’s why Sam invited him. Perhaps too smart.

  Sam got to his feet, trying to shake off the pain. He rubbed at the sting in his eyes. Staggered for balance. David’s original questions taunted his mind.

  Wouldn’t someone messing around its circuit board send it into panic mode?

  The middle of his face, forehead to nose to upper lip and chin, felt like ground meat. “No,” Sam said to David, to himself. “The gravitons are mine...”

  Wouldn’t it seek self-preservation by trying to stop you somehow?

  His eyes, throbbing, felt twice too big for their sockets. Each breath was a fowl-tasting, gurgling mess. “I’m in control now.”

  You’ve lost control, Sam.

  “I AM GOD, DO YOU HEAR ME? GOD!”

  He strained to believe his wounds were healed, that his head wasn’t pounding like hammers, but belief couldn’t stand against the constant eruption of pain. He was forced to endure.

  This wasn’t supposed to happen. He controlled the Gravitons, they were his. Reality did what he told it to do.

  There are tons of risks in what you’re doing here, Sam.

  A bland statement by an unremarkable man. David only wanted to question Sam’s greatness, and criticize when the answers weren’t to his liking. And now he sought not only to punish him, but to humiliate him with his fists. All while claiming the higher moral ground.

  But there’d been a gleam in David’s eye, hadn’t there? And a smile, ever so faint? Yes, David took pleasure in the infliction of pain. He practically reveled in it.

  We’re the same, my friend. Almost like brothers.

  It was Sam’s turn now. No more holding back.

  He stepped up, back to center floor. David, at the far wall, down on his knees and working to free the big man. The girl was there too, she’d come back. Good.

  Sam reached out, squinted through the pain, the shame.

  Doug wasn’t going anywhere.

  3

  The last of the images fell away. Eddie looked out across the darkened lab, scanning for David. She moved forward with caution, real sneakers stepping over solid floor. The hazy layer separating her from the world had faded. She’d made it back.

  The big guy, Doug, still bound between I-beams at the far wall. Alive? Yes, she could hear him breathing. David, down on one knee, worked to untie him.

  She rushed to help. “I’m here,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder, leaning in to see. David jumped at the surprise, saw her, continued picking at a tight knot in the rope. “Almost got it,” he whispered. Then, a voice from behind.

  “I don’t think so, Dave.”

  Some things cannot be believed.

  Like an explosion, showering Eddie and David with-

  The pair lurched back, away from the devastation, the pure terror of it, screaming. They were covered, head to toe, in…

  Some things are too much for the brain to process.

  And some things are flat-out refused.

  It couldn’t have happened. A thing like that could not be real. No way.

  But it was.

  It was.

  4

  David leapt back, away from the most shocking sight he’d ever witnessed. His shoulder struck Eddie, his hip and elbow, the floor. A jolt shot up the twist of his back, and down the awful, burning sciatic nerve, but the pain was nothing, nothing at all within the reality of that moment. A man just exploded right in front of him.

  Doug.

  Turned inside-out, popped like a living balloon. David scrambled over wet concrete, back, away. Turned his head, pinched eyes shut. It was no use. There was no escaping it. Doug had a family. Kids. A good life.

  But not anymore.

  No more.

  This, like everything else, was David’s fault.

  He’d known this place was dangerous from the very beginning; Sam told him about men hunting him on the phone, for Christ’s sake. And yet he still brought Cathleen along. For what, Dave? To amuse you?

  Steve, Susan. And Doug. Oh God, Doug. He’d told them to come. What were they gonna do, say no to their boss?

  The girl, Eddie. She’s here because of me too.

  All of it, to save his precious show.

  Eddie’s desperate voice screeched into his ear. Hands dug at his shoulders, tugging him back. The floor, wet. Saturated. He needed to get away, but wait. Not yet. There was somethin
g else.

  David stopped, looked to Sam, but not in anger. Not in fear.

  A strange calm had overcome him, a feeling of...

  David thought he realized it before, but he hadn’t, not really. Only now did he truly know.

  After everything he’d seen, all that he’d done, he was finally sure.

  I don’t deserve to survive this.

  5

  Eddie pulled at David’s arm, pleaded for him to run, but he only sat there in shock, staring at Sam. “David! Please!” She couldn’t leave him. Separating would be deadly.

  After a moment he turned and said, “Come on.”

  He led her through the door and down the shadowed hallway. Up the stairs, toward the control booth. Cathleen was waiting around the corner. “Thank God,” she whispered. She hugged him, wiped blood away from his cheek.

  “I’m sorry for all of this,” he said as tears flowed. “I’m so sorry.”

  Eddie covered eyes with the palm of her hands. That man… He…

  He popped real good, didn’t he, Ed?

  No air. No fucking air. Someone had clicked a padlock on her throat. She threw herself back, stumbled into the wall, lungs heaving. He turned to liquid. Frantic, she rubbed at her sticky arms, sobbing. He’s on me. My clothes. In my hair.

  “No choice,” Eddie whispered. “I never had a choice.”

  Cathleen pulled them in for a group hug. Eddie didn’t have the energy to resist. It was all she could do to hold on, keep herself from falling into black.

  The three stood, all together, and cried.

  6

  Sam watched them go, out the door, away from what he’d done. He had no choice but to let them. They’d stay close now, wouldn’t they?

  But where was the other one, Cathleen? She had to be here somewhere. Without Doug, he needed a new test subject. Better find her, he supposed.

  He strolled to the door, having a look around the massive, dark room. A little table sat bright and quiet on the other side of the lab, complete with two spotlights, a camera, and a baseball. He’d forgotten the experiment was still running.

  A hockey stick lay close by, well hidden in thick shadow. Like Sam, it had seen the other side of reality, the place where Gravitons make miracle decisions. Unlike Sam, it had fully returned. He smiled. From now on he would exist in two places, two states. Here and there at the same time.

  Time, a persistent illusion. The girl thought she was smart, didn’t she? Yes. He wondered how smart she’d feel tumbling toward the center of a black hole. That, he thought, would be something to behold.

  He stepped out into the corridor. Up ahead, at the next intersection, movement caught his eye. A shift in the shadows. Sam threw up an open hand, increasing gravity, but not enough to harm, not yet. He walked closer.

  7

  David pulled the thumb drive from his pocket, held it up for the others to see.

  “Here’s what we’re gonna do.”

  Cathleen scrunched her nose. “What’s that?”

  “This is a collection of quantum programs, algorithms, with calculations big enough to utilize all the machine’s processing power. Complicated enough to run for a very long time.” He offered it to Cathleen. She took it, looking confused. He continued. “Finding him on the other side should take his power away. At that moment, you’ll run one of the programs. The Gravitons will be occupied, busy working on the equation, and Sam won’t be able to re-connect with them.”

  He glanced behind, down the hall, ran a hand though his hair. Locked eyes with Eddie. “That’s the idea, anyway. What do you guys think?”

  “Why don’t we just run it now?” Eddie asked.

  “He’s connected to the computer. If we try that, he’ll know. But he won’t once we take his connection away.”

  Cathleen said, “How would you-”

  “He exists on both sides, two states at once. Eddie figured it out, actually.”

  “And?”

  “And seeing him in both places will force him into one. Like Schrödinger’s cat. The simple act of looking.”

  Cathleen didn’t seem convinced. “You think that’ll work?”

  Eddie said, “Won’t seeing him be enough? I mean-”

  “What happens when we look away? What happens if we blink?”

  “Blink?”

  “Yeah. We lose sight of him and he’d get his power back, wouldn’t he?”

  “I don’t know…Maybe…”

  “Are you willing to take a chance on maybe?”

  Eddie shook her head. “No.”

  Cathleen crossed arms, took a step back. “Have you forgotten? Wormhole. We can’t get to the damned computer.”

  “I’ve got a plan for that too. Sam can’t touch us when we’re together. That means, hopefully, that his booby traps don’t affect us either.”

  “You’re saying we can just walk right in there?”

  David went around the corner, to the spiraling white anomaly. Paused. “If we’re together, yes. I think so.”

  David and Eddie each held out a hand, inches from the spiraling wormhole, testing its pull. He took a moment to look into her eyes, feel the fear trembling in the pit of her stomach. He knew she could feel him too. Nineteen years old, a kid, so scared and so brave. She didn’t have to come, risk her life for strangers, but she did. Eddie was stronger than he could ever be.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Me neither.”

  Side by side, David and Eddie’s hands eased closer to the threshold. Like a miracle, the wormhole melted to nothing. For the first time in days the doorway was clear.

  A sigh of relief. He looked to Cathleen. “It worked.”

  She reached out with tentative fingers, testing the air. Her hand crossed into the control room. “Oh,” she said. “Thank God.”

  David stepped out of the way, keeping a keen eye on Eddie and an arm in the threshold. “Go ahead.”

  Cathleen squeezed past, turned to face him, held up the memory stick. Her lower lip had begun to quiver. She was beautiful. She said, “I’ll find the program. Don’t worry about me, just do what you gotta do. Be careful, David. I mean it.”

  He grinned. “You’re kinda hot when you’re scared.”

  Thin fingers slapped him on the chest. A playful swat, without humor. She leaned in close, fighting back tears, losing the battle. She kissed him.

  “I love you,” he whispered. Her body, warm. Her lips, soft. This would be the last time, their final hurrah. And no, it would never be enough.

  David forced himself away, turned to Eddie. The two ducked out of the doorway and the wormhole sprang back to life, churning frothy diamonds, obscuring the view of Cathleen. He stood, only a foot away from her, yet separated by infinite black space.

  No choice. He had to let her go.

  “Okay,” he said. “Let’s end this.”

  8

  Eddie followed David to the stairwell, eyes fixed on redundant squares of white tile. He paused, turned back, focused on her.

  Sadness, like gravity, pulled at his expression, drawing the color out of his eyes, drinking the life from his face. What it left behind felt calm, but cold.

  A mystical connection wasn’t required; She didn’t need to hear his thoughts to know. His intention was apparent. He meant not to survive this.

  “David,” she said.

  “If anything happens, get behind me. And don’t abandon the plan. It’ll work.”

  Was there something she could’ve said to change his mind? Maybe.

  Down they went, into darkness.

  The laboratory. Two stories high, a hundred feet across.

  Eddie stopped beside David, next to a little table and a baseball. Everything about it - the angle at which she saw the room, the lighting, the place where the doctor now stood – it all felt…familiar.

  There was a young woman at the far wall, bound between I-beams with rope at wrists and ankles. Struggling, crying. Doug’s replacement.

&n
bsp; A transparent hologram hung in the air, glowing brilliant blue, stretched across the entire space. Within it, an infinite sea of interweaved pathways, pale veins of electricity firing at random intersections in blinding red and yellow explosions.

  Sam stood center floor gazing upward. He reached out into the glow. Turned to Eddie.

  Crazy, but nothing like her. A dark smile crawled across his face. There were things about him that didn’t look right, didn’t feel right. Then she knew.

  This is my dream.

  Eddie hadn’t seen before, not everything. But she saw now.

  The darkened space.

  The blue glow.

  A woman bound at the wall.

  Rachel.

  Time melted to molasses, the slow unwinding of dying batteries.

  Big Sis and Eddie. Each the other’s entire world. Usually a long way from where they stood, the expanse between horizons, but not today. The limit of their vision, the end, now close enough to touch. Close enough to feel.

  Given enough time, everything turns. Even the endurance of love has its limit.

  “Let’s begin,” Sam said. Hand to fist.

  Rachel’s body seized.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN: HIDE AND SEEK

  1

  Rachel woke, groggy and alone, her body contorted over frigid concrete.

  Everything hurt. Arms, legs, the entire length of her spine. She sat up, raised an arm, felt rope at her wrist. The far end trailed away into shadow. The other wrist had been tied as well. She pinched eyes shut, coughed. Struggled to find breath, reason.

  What happened? Where am I?

  A harsh spotlight blazed overhead, a massive star in empty space. She squinted into the glare, forced eyes to adjust. Slowly, the star squared itself into a sheet of glass, a window, and a bright area beyond. An upstairs room overlooking this one.

  She remembered a broken man.

  His angry, strained threats.

  A pistol.

  Rachel still couldn’t figure how she’d gotten away from him so easily. She could’ve been shot in the back, for Christ’s sake. He was hurt, bad, his arm was broken. That’s why it was easy. Even so, she’d been extremely lucky.