Broken Fate

by Jennifer Derrick

  I don’t have to wait long. It’s two thirty in the morning, and I’m in my workroom catching up on the backlog of death left behind from my day of freedom. Chloe kept me company for the first few hours. She sat on the stool by the door and spun round and round while I told her everything that happened at Oz. In typical Chloe fashion, she saw only the bright side.

  “But he kissed you. Three times,” she said, sighing.

  “Yeah, he did.”

  “Was it good?”

  “It was better than good, Chloe. Better than Ares. It was awesome,” I said.

  “Well, if he can top Ares, whose womanizing skills are legendary, then he’s a keeper. You did the right thing by not flushing his brain,” she assured me. “Alex has the right to know who you are.”

  “Zeus isn’t going to see it that way,” I said.

  She shrugged. “So what? You, out of all of us, deserve a little happiness. You’ve been miserable for a couple of thousand years. Grab it while you can.”

  I laughed at that, but I knew Zeus wouldn’t care about anything but the rules.

  Chloe went to bed after getting all the details. Now I’m alone and boxing up lines for Thanatos. A sudden breeze blows through the room, and I look up to see the lifelines wildly blowing. I sigh. My punishment has arrived on winged feet.

  I put the box I’m holding inside the delivery door and push the button. Then I wait, arms crossed. The breeze blows harder and Hermes, messenger of the gods, materializes in front of me. He looks exactly like the FTD logo, only not as shiny.

  “Hello, Atropos,” he says. The wings on his feet beat rapidly, and he hovers a few feet off the ground in front of me.

  “Hello, Hermes,” I say. I don’t wait for him to speak again. “I know why you’re here, so go ahead and say it.”

  He pulls a small scroll from his belt and unrolls it with a flourish. “Atropos, daughter of Zeus and third goddess of fate, you are ordered to report to Zeus’ palace immediately. You are also to bring your mother,” he reads.

  “Tell Zeus we’ll be there as soon as I reach a stopping point on all this.” I wave my hand to indicate the lines all queued up and ready for cutting. “I’m behind.”

  “All right. But do it sooner rather than later. Zeus is angry and getting angrier the longer he waits,” he says.

  “And you’re just loving that,” I mutter under my breath.

  Hermes hears me. “I take no joy in your suffering. I’m just the messenger,” he says, but his smirk gives him away.

  “Right,” I say.

  He poofs out of my room, and his chuckle echoes behind him for just a second after he’s gone. I’m not surprised to be summoned to Mount Olympus. I’ve broken so many rules in the last twenty-four hours that even I’ve lost track. I am surprised that Zeus wants Themis to come, though. Mom isn’t going to like that. She hardly ever returns to Olympus and being summoned there because her own daughter can’t follow the rules is going to piss her off.

  I take a quick look at the schedule for the day. I have a break later this afternoon that will be long enough to get to Mount Olympus and back. Locking up my shears, I head upstairs to wake Mom. No sense in putting off the bad news. Might as well give her time to get used to the idea of seeing Zeus.

  When I get to her room, there is light shining from underneath the door. I lightly knock.

  “Come in.”

  I open the door and go inside, pushing it closed behind me. Mom is propped up in bed with law books and case files piled all around her.

  “You’re working late,” I comment.

  “I’m helping a friend with a civil case,” she says. “Off the clock and off the record.”

  “Anything interesting?” I ask, pushing a pile of books out of the way so I can sit on the end of her bed.

  “Medical malpractice,” she says.

  “Think how many lawyers would be out of work if they understood that things happen because we make them happen, instead of humans blaming humans for all their alleged screw ups,” I say.

  Mom laughs, and then asks, “Why are you still up?”

  “Well, I’m in trouble. But it wasn’t all my fault,” I add, beginning my defense.

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Yeah. I have to appear before Zeus as soon as possible. And he wants you there, too.”

  “Me? What did you do?”

  I tell her about Alex and how I tried to push him away, about our day at the abandoned Land of Oz, about the Keres, and about how I didn’t flush his memory. And why I didn’t want to.

  “So you left a human with full knowledge of your job, your sisters’ jobs, your parentage, and various other aspects of our world?”

  “That about sums it up. But I did and do think that Alex deserves to know who and what he’s dealing with, especially since he’s dying.”

  Mom is silent for a minute, but she stares at me while she thinks. I know the look. It’s the, “You are in so much trouble that I don’t know where to start with you,” look. Rarely is it directed at me. Usually, Chloe is the one receiving this stare. I try not to squirm or look away.

  “You’ve never felt this way before. You’ve never had trouble concealing your identity from anyone that you’ve been friends with. Not that it has ever been a huge number of people,” she adds. “I don’t understand why you suddenly feel like Alex deserves to know.”

  “Because he kissed me,” I say.

  Mom’s jaw drops at that revelation. “And you didn’t run away? You didn’t smack him? You let him?”

  I nod. “And I kissed him back.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Mom, no, I—” I start and then stop. I realize now that it is kind of out there for all to see, except for me, who’s been too busy denying it. “I think maybe I do,” I whisper.

  “Well, that changes things,” she says.

  “I just think that if he and I are going to be together until he dies, he has the right to know that I’ll be the one killing him.”

  “A decision you’ve never had to face before, since you’ve never let a mortal get close enough for it to matter.”

  “It’s kind of your fault,” I say. “You’re the one who thought it would be good for me to spend time with the humans. You pushed me toward him when I was doing everything I could to stay away from him. So did Zeus. Did it ever occur to either of you that this is exactly why I don’t get involved? Not only is it painful, but it also gets me in trouble.”

  “You’re half right. You’d think after three thousand years that Zeus and I could have seen this coming. Maybe we should have respected your decision to remain aloof. You were managing just fine. But you still should have known better and done what you were supposed to do. However, I can understand and even sympathize with why you chose to do what you did.”

  “Well,” I begin, seeing the unfairness of blaming anyone but myself, “even if you hadn’t pushed me, I still probably would have wanted to spend time with him. He’s just so damn interesting. Not like any human I’ve ever met.”

  “We’ll explain it all to Zeus. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

  I snort. “You and I both know that he won’t understand anything beyond the fact that rules were broken. Do you think he’ll punish me?”

  “Probably, but I doubt it’ll be too bad. Just prepare yourself for the likelihood that Alex’s memory will be flushed, either by you or by Zeus. He won’t abide a human knowing so much, and he’ll fix it.

  “Just come get me when you hit a stopping point later. I’ll stay home from work so we can go. You’re staying home from school to catch up on work, anyway, aren’t you?”

  I nod, reaching across the bed to hug her. It’s nice to have her on my side in this. I go back downstairs, dreading the rest of this day only slightly less.

  I finally get my break, and Mom and I get in the car and head for Mount Mitchell. We fill the drive with talk of her cases and my workload. Anything but what awaits me on Mount Olympus.

/>   When we arrive at the park, we change into our hiking boots and then take off through the woods. There aren’t many other hikers about on a Monday, and we have no trouble slipping off the main trail unnoticed. We hike in silence, both of us nervous for different reasons. I know it’s not easy for Themis to come with me to Mount Olympus and face the man she loves but can never have. She’s doing it because he commanded it and because she loves me, but it’s costing her. I wish I could be a more comforting companion, but I’m wallowing too deeply in my own worries to ease her mind.

  The best I can offer is a weak, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this,” which she waves away. She keeps hiking beside me, face grim, and I feel terrible.

  Once we are in the cave and standing before the pool, we slip off our boots. Ares’ boots aren’t here today, and I feel my chest loosen. At least that’s one thing I won’t have to face today. I roll up my pants, but Mom, who is never cold, has worn shorts and she simply steps into the pool. I hesitate on the edge, wishing for a miracle that will allow me to skip this trip.

  “Just so I can prepare myself, do you think Zeus will strip me of my job and immortality?” I ask my mom.

  I spent all night thinking about this possibility, and I finally decided it might be for the best. Being mortal is something I’ve considered and coveted for centuries. I’m nervous, nevertheless. It’s never easy to give up the only life you know, even if it’s for something that might be better.

  She has clearly given this some thought, too, and she’s smart enough to realize I might see mortality as a great idea.

  “Don’t you dare hope for that,” she says. “You are my daughter, and I will not lose you to mortality. I know you struggle with the weight of your responsibilities, but don’t you ever wish for that. Mortality is a death sentence, and I’m not having it.”

  I sigh. “Still. Do you think he will?”

  “No. Not for one infraction in three thousand years. Especially not since this one is fixable. I think you’ll just have to flush Alex’s memory, probably all the way back to the minutes before you met. And you might have to stay away from him until he dies. But if Zeus is really angry, you never know what he’ll do. If he tries to make you mortal, I’ll fight him and every other god on Olympus. I won’t let him kill you or let you kill yourself.” She holds her hand out for mine.

  I inhale deeply, take her hand, and step into the pool. We fly through the fractal universe and land softly in the pool in front of Zeus’ temple. I slip on the provided sandals, but Mom opts to go barefoot. Probably just so she can track up Zeus’ carpet with her mossy feet, her passive aggressive way of annoying him.

  When we enter the temple, there is none of the foolishness that was going on the last time I was here. No dancing, no reading, no movies, and Zeus doesn’t have his headphones on. The few gods and goddesses who are here stand silent, watching as Mom and I approach Zeus’ throne. Clearly, the word is out that I am in trouble, and most have found something to do elsewhere. The danger of spillover rage from Zeus is real, and only the very brave and nosy remain.

  I notice that Hera is one of the missing, apparently choosing to ignore the fact that Themis is in the building. Just as well. A cat fight between Zeus’ current wife and his former lover would really mess up the day.

  When we reach the foot of his throne, Zeus greets us politely, but I can hear the suppressed rage in his voice.

  “Themis. Atropos,” he says, nodding at each of us.

  We nod back but say nothing.

  “I am deeply disturbed by Atropos’ actions regarding the human boy. She not only allowed him to witness an attack by the Keres, but she told him the truth about her identity and other facts about the gods. She did not flush his memory, as required, leaving this boy free to talk and placing all of us in danger of discovery,” Zeus says like a bailiff reading the charges against me.

  “I didn’t have a choice about the Keres,” I say. “It’s not like I invited them along on our outing. I don’t even know how they knew we’d be at Oz. I only wanted to take Alex somewhere fun. What was I supposed to do? Let Ker have him so she could torture him?”

  “No, but after saving him, you should have immediately removed all memory of the events. Instead, you launched into a full explanation of your identity. You know the rules. Why did you not obey them this time, when you have always done so in the past?”

  “Because it isn’t fair to him.”

  “Fair? Bah. We have rules that must be obeyed!” Zeus roars.

  Themis speaks up. “I think she was right. She and this Alex person are forming a relationship that stretches beyond simple friendship. Of course she had to protect him from the Keres. Having done that and revealed herself, she wanted him to judge her on her own merits, not on some false identity. She had to tell him the truth.”

  Leave it to the lawyer to distill the case down to its simplest facts. I silently cheer her speech.

  “Had he run screaming from me, I would have flushed him,” I add. “I wouldn’t leave him burdened by the knowledge if it scared him. But he stayed and promised to keep silent. A human knows what I am and what I do, and he isn’t repulsed. That’s never happened before.”

  “Still, I would be within my rights to strip you of your powers right now, you know,” he says.

  “I know it.” I look down at the floor, more to hide my smile at the thought of freedom than in shame.

  Zeus thinks for a moment. “But I won’t. This is your first serious transgression since I gave you life.”

  Themis lets out the breath she’d been holding while she waited for Zeus’ judgment. Then she clears her throat. Loudly.

  “Since we gave you life,” he amends.

  He leans back on his throne, considering. I meet his eyes and wait, knowing there will be more.

  “Since the boy will die soon, I will not force you to remove his memories unless he becomes a liability. You can see the relationship through to the end if that is your wish,” he says. “Just make sure that it has an end,” he adds.

  I let my breath out in a whoosh, and Themis squeezes my hand in support. I’m getting off easy, but mortality would have been nice. I try to look happy for Mom’s sake, but any relief we feel, real or fake, is short-lived.

  “It would be wrong to punish you for my shortsightedness,” Zeus continues. “I should have more clearly foreseen the consequences of Lachesis’ actions.”

  I look at Mom and whisper the words, “Lachesis’ actions?” She shrugs, clearly having no idea what Zeus is talking about, either.

  “What exactly are you talking about? What did Lachesis do?” I ask, although given a moment to think about it, a sick thought is beginning to poke at the edge of my brain. I look at Mom and see that she’s beginning to think the same thing. Her mouth is hanging open, and she’s breathing quickly.

  Fear mingled with rage makes me nauseous, and I wrap an arm around my midsection. I pray that Zeus will say anything other than what I’m afraid to hear, but I know my luck for the day has run out.

  “She came to me eighteen years ago and asked me if it would be all right if she fated a human boy for you, Atropos. She said she wanted you to experience the same feelings she felt for her beloved Charlie. I reluctantly agreed because I knew you’d been alone too long. You were becoming cold and unpleasant.

  “I thought fating someone for you would give you a chance to experience a relationship in a less-threatening way. I never dreamed she would pick someone who would die so soon after you met him.”

  Anger makes my stomach heave, and I’m afraid of embarrassing myself by puking all over Zeus’ marble floor. This is the secret Lacey is keeping in that password-protected document and why she looked so smug when I asked her about it.

  She fated Alex for me, which means the only reason he likes me is because he has to. It also explains why he wouldn’t go away when I was nasty to him and when the Keres attacked him. Lacey programmed him to overcome common sense. He was made
for me, and she gave him an early death for one reason—revenge.

  “She didn’t do it so I could ‘experience love’ or any of that crap. She did it to get even with me. I killed Charlie, the human she loved. She knew all along I’d have to kill him, and she still hated me for it. The grief she felt was of her own making, and she blamed me. She fated Alex for me for revenge,” I shout at Zeus. “She wanted me to experience pain, not love.”

  I’m beyond furious now. I hurt all over. I hurt for me, but mostly, I hurt for Alex. He’s nothing but a pawn in Lacey’s game. The only reason he’s dying is because he’s mine. She didn’t give him an early death to balance the scales or fulfill Zeus’ master plan. She did it to get back at me. Alex should be living his life, but instead, he’s caught in this farce. Fresh rage washes through me, and I want to hit something. Somebody.

  “I wondered as much, but she was sincere when she asked for permission,” Zeus says. “She denied anything other than the purest motives.”

  “Well, she was full of shit, wasn’t she?” I say. “How could you not see that? You’re supposed to be omniscient. Your skill failed you on this one, Zeus.”

  “Careful,” Themis warns, but I’m beyond caring. She puts a restraining hand on my arm.

  “No, Mom,” I begin, twisting out of her reach. “If we’re on the subject of rules here, how about the one that Zeus broke? We, as Fates, are never to meddle in each other’s lives. Clotho can’t create someone because I ask her to. I can’t kill someone just because one of my sisters wants me to. Lachesis can’t fate someone for Clotho or me. We are not allowed to screw around like that. It was the first rule that Zeus set down for us when he gave us our jobs. We are to serve him, not our own interests.

  “Lacey fating Alex for me was surely a violation of that first rule, and Zeus here giving her permission was even more wrong. She should be the one up here getting reamed out, not me.”

  “Atropos,” Zeus warns. Lightning crackles at his fingertips. For one second, I’m afraid. And then I’m not.

  “Do you think I care?” I roar. “Do you think you scare me with your little parlor tricks? I came here expecting to be punished for my one mistake. Instead, I discover that you and my sister have been breaking the rules all along. You even encouraged me to get closer to him because you knew it would work out. I can’t believe you would mess with my feelings like that.

  “You want Alex’s memory flushed? Consider it flushed. I don’t want him now. I don’t want a relationship that’s poisoned. You wanted to teach me about love? Well, this certainly wasn’t the way to do it because I hate you, I hate Lachesis, and now I hate the very idea of love because I know that none of it is real. I was better off alone. I knew that, but I let you all push me into this and I shouldn’t have.”

  “You don’t mean that,” Themis says. “You’ve been so happy these last weeks.”

  I turn to her. “I do mean it. Did you know about this? Is that why you were pushing me to have fun with the humans? Because if you did—” I threaten.

  “No. I swear. This is the first I’m hearing of it, and I’m as appalled as you are.” She turns to Zeus. “I can’t believe you.”

  “Well, you certainly didn’t seem to be taking a hand in her life. You let her drift along, growing angrier and lonelier each year. I thought it was nice that Lachesis was concerned for her sister.”

  “Atropos was doing just fine without our interference,” Mom says.

  I roll my eyes. I know they’ll bicker for hours, and I don’t want to hear it. I’m done. I turn and run out of the temple and back to the pool. Mom can find her own way home. She can call a cab or hitchhike from Mount Mitchell. I don’t care. The only thing I care about is getting home so that I can pummel Lacey until the rage passes. After that, I have to find Alex and flush his memory.