Broken Fate

by Jennifer Derrick

  #

  After more hours of work than I care to count, I finally reach a stopping point. I slam my shears into their drawer, lock it, and dash upstairs and out to my car. Speeding the mile to Alex’s house, I run to his front door and lean on the doorbell. I hope it’s not so late that everyone’s gone to bed.

  Emily comes to the door after what I consider to be an eternity, but which is probably only a minute. She’s in her pajamas, but she doesn’t look like she’s been asleep. Maggie stands behind her, tail wagging madly at me.

  “He’s not here,” Emily says before I even have a chance to ask for Alex or say hello. She’s blocking the door, restricting my view into the house.

  “Are you sure?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” she says, but her eyes dart to the side, refusing to meet mine.

  “Right. You can tell him you tried to keep me out,” I say, pushing past her and jogging down the hall. I slam open Alex’s door and put my foot out to keep it from rebounding off the wall and into my face. Alex is propped up in bed, reading on the Kindle I bought for him.

  “Shouldn’t you be at work?” The nasty tone in his voice shocks me. This isn’t the kind, gentle Alex that I know.

  “I don’t deserve that and you know it,” I say. “But you’re sick, so I’ll let it slide. Get dressed and in my car. I’ll wait for you outside.”

  “And why would I do that? I’m comfortable here. As I recall, you don’t have time for me.”

  “I’m about done taking that tone from you. Now, if you want to come with me, I have something to talk to you about. If not, I can’t force you, and we can just call it quits right here. I’ll wait outside,” I repeat.

  I leave his room, slamming the door hard behind me. Emily is in the hall, staring openmouthed at me. “We’re working on it,” is all I say as I walk past her.

  Alex finally comes outside, and I instantly regret my sharp words. He’s moving slow, clearly having a little trouble balancing. I get out of the car and go to him, offering my arm for him to lean on. I’m a bit surprised when he takes it and leans on me.

  “Okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah. Sometimes, it just takes me a while to get moving,” he says.

  I get him settled in the passenger seat and close his door. Once I’m settled in the driver’s seat, I turn to him.

  “I’m sorry,” we say in unison. Then we laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

  “I owe you an apology,” he says. “I’m sorry I blew up at you. It’s not you running off and leaving me that makes me crazy. It’s that no matter how much I want to, I can never stay with you. You were right. I’m going somewhere you can’t follow, and I hate it. Plus, the medication makes me crazy, and sometimes the tumor presses on some behavioral part of my brain. I’ll probably get a lot more unpleasant before it’s all over.”

  “I figured it was something like that. That’s why I didn’t kill you,” I say.

  He chuckles. “Yet. What do you want to talk to me about?” he asks as I put the car in gear and back out of the driveway.

  I shake my head. “Wait until we get to my house. It’s a surprise.”

  “More surprises,” he mutters.

  I know I cannot say anything out here. For Chloe’s plan to work, I cannot discuss it anywhere other than in my house. Zeus could be listening to me here, but anything I say in the house will be private. I have to wait until we get home to confide my plan.

  Alex crosses his arms over his chest and looks frustrated at the wait, but he doesn’t say anything more. I hold up one finger, wordlessly begging him to be patient.

  Once we’re back at my house, I open the front door and look around before motioning Alex in behind me. There’s no sign of Mom or Lacey.

  “Come on,” I say. “Move as fast as you can and follow me.”

  I take Alex’s hand and pull him across the living room and through the kitchen to the basement door. We hurry downstairs, and I pause at the bottom to make certain that Lacey isn’t down here.

  “Hey,” Chloe calls from her workspace. “You’re all clear.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Whoa. This is your work area?” Alex asks when he finally gets a good look at the space.

  “Yep.”

  “Am I allowed down here?” he asks.

  “I’ll explain in a minute. Come on,” I say, urging him forward.

  As we pass Chloe’s spinning wheel, I take time for hurried introductions.

  “Alex, this is my sister, Chloe. Also known as Clotho. She spins out the lifelines and then passes them on to my other sister, Lacey, who assigns a destiny to every life.”

  “Cool,” Alex says, shaking her hand. “I’ve seen you around school some. You play on the softball team, right?”

  “Yeah, I have a little more free time than Atropos does. You’re right. He is cute,” she says to me.

  I roll my eyes, but Alex laughs. “Good to know,” he says.

  “Come on,” I say to Alex, tugging his hand toward my workroom. I don’t need Lacey coming down the stairs unexpectedly, and I don’t need Chloe making any more embarrassing comments.

  “Good to meet you,” Chloe calls to Alex as we walk away. He gives her a wave over his shoulder.

  “That’s Lacey’s area,” I tell him as we pass her tables crammed with scales and charts. He pauses to take a closer look, but I drag him on.

  “Keep moving,” I urge him.

  “What’s the damn hurry?” he asks, panting slightly as we cover the long distance to my workroom. I feel bad for exerting him, but I don’t have a choice.

  We reach the end of the basement. Immediately, his eyes fixate on the door to my workroom.

  “This is incredible carving work,” he says, running a hand over the wood. “Did you make this?”

  “No. I’d cut my hand off if I tried. Zeus had it commissioned for me when he made me a Fate, but I don’t know who the artist was.”

  “What does it say?” he asks, pointing to the Greek words carved across the top of the door.

  “Death waits for all.”

  “Creepy, but apt,” he says. Then he asks, “Is this you?” He runs a hand lightly over the carving of me. I shiver, imagining him caressing the real me that tenderly.

  “Yeah.”

  “What happened?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Well, in this carving, you’ve got such long hair and you’re dressed in that beautiful gown. Not that you’re not beautiful now,” he adds hastily when I turn to him and simply arch one eyebrow in his direction.

  “This just isn’t the Atropos that I know,” he says with a shrug. “You look softer, almost delicate, in that carving. You don’t have the hard edge that’s in you now.”

  “About three thousand years happened, that’s all,” I say, shrugging.

  “Time changes people, even immortals. That’s how I looked when I lived on Mount Olympus, just after I became the Death Fate. I thought it was an honor, at first. Everything was new, and I was naïve. After you spend centuries killing people in every way imaginable and being hated by all of humanity and most of the gods, things aren’t as rosy.”

  “Makes sense, I guess. The long hair was nice, though.”

  I shrug. “It’s easy to maintain when the world’s population is only a few thousand. Now that we’re up to billions, I don’t have time to deal with it anymore.”

  I enter my code into the security panel and place my finger on the scanner. When the door opens, I gesture Alex inside ahead of me and close the door behind us. Now I can relax.

  “So what’s the big surprise?” Alex asks.

  “I’ve found a way for you to spend time with me while I work.”

  “Isn’t that against your precious rules?”

  “Zeus’ rules, not mine,” I clarify. “And, yes, it’s against the rules. And no, the rules haven’t changed. Chloe gave me an education in rule-breaking, though. Long story short, you can be down here as long as neither my mom no
r Lacey catches us, and you cannot speak of anything that happens down here outside of my house. You can’t talk about it with Emily, or even talk about it with me outside. Understand?”

  He nods. “But what if you get caught? Aren’t you sort of already down one strike for telling me the truth about yourself?”

  “Yeah, but what’s the worst thing that Zeus can do to me? Fire me? Make me mortal? I’ve thought a lot about it, and those aren’t terrible fates. I’d be closer to normal than I’ve ever been. I could get a real job, have a normal life. It’s not the end of the world. Right now, having you mad at me and not spending time with you feels like the end of the world.”

  “I don’t know. Wasn’t it Zeus who sentenced that guy to push the rock up the hill forever? What if he did something like that to you?”

  “Sisyphus. Yes, that was Zeus’ work. It’s possible he could punish me that way or with something worse, but I don’t think he will. At any rate, it’s a risk I’m willing to take because I think he’s wrong in our case. So I’ve made my choice. Are you in?”

  He smiles, and he’s back to the Alex I love. “Thank you,” he says simply. “For trusting me enough to let me in.”

  I’m embarrassed by his words, so I keep my face down as I open my desk drawer and pull out the box that holds my shears. Laying the box on my desk, I pop the clasp.

  “Wow,” Alex says when I open the box and pull out my shears.

  He reaches out a finger and tentatively touches the gemstones inlaid in the handles.

  “Don’t touch the blades,” I warn. “The slightest touch will kill you.”

  “May I?” he asks, holding out his hand for the shears. I pass them to him, handles first, and watch as he admires the craftsmanship.

  “This is a historic moment, you know,” I say. “You’re the first person, human or god, except me, to handle those shears since Zeus gave them to me.”

  “Seriously?”

  I nod. “Yep. I’ve never even let Chloe or Lacey handle them.”

  He hands them back to me, and I reach over his shoulder and adjust the dimmer switch so the overhead lights come up to full power.

  “Whoa,” he says, looking at the billions of lifelines that are now clearly revealed and shimmering in the bright lights. The scope of my work is now obvious, and I watch Alex as he processes the reality of my life.

  “There’s a line for every living person in the world.”

  “Can I see mine?” he asks.

  “Sure. But it looks pretty much like all the others.”

  I punch Alex’s name into the computer and the racks whir and spin, bringing his line to the front of the room.

  “Here it is,” I say, unclipping it from the rack and handing it to him.

  Taking his line, he dangles it in the air, examining it from all angles. He holds it next to another line that is on the rack for today’s work. That line is much longer than his; it belongs to a ninety-year-old man who is about to die of natural causes in a nursing home. It’s the life I wish Alex could have. I see the knowledge register on Alex’s face.

  “Well, crap,” he says. “Kind of sucks to see that I literally got the short straw.”

  “I know. I hate it, too. It’s part of the reason I wasn’t sure you should come down here, rules or no rules.”

  “Well, it’s not like I didn’t know,” he says, handing his line back to me. I hang it up and send it back into the recesses of the room. Alex is braver than I am. I don’t want to see his line again until the end.

  I point to the stool by the door. “You can have a seat there, if you want, or on the floor. Sorry there’s not more comfortable seating. I don’t have guests in here, other than Chloe sometimes.”

  “It’s fine,” he says, perching on the stool.

  I turn the music on low and set to work. At first, I’m self-conscious about having Alex in my space. I know he’s watching every move I make and wondering about every line I cut, every life I end, but I don’t have the time to give him a play by play of today’s deaths. To his credit, he doesn’t pepper me with questions but stays silent, letting me work.

  I gradually lose myself in the rhythm of the work, and I mostly forget he’s even in the room. I’m dimly aware that he tires of sitting on the stool and he slides to the floor. Several hours go by, and I sense it’s getting late. Or early, I’m not sure which, and I have to get Alex home soon. I’m boxing lines to send to Thanatos when he finally speaks.

  “I’m sorry,” he says.

  “For what?” I ask as I place the boxes inside the door and push the send button.

  “I apologized earlier, but I owe you another one for giving you a hard time about your work. You work harder than anyone I’ve ever seen at what has to be an incredibly emotional job. And yet you do it with such grace and compassion that it’s beautiful to watch. You move so fast, yet you’re not careless with peoples’ souls. I can’t imagine that I’d have any compassion left after a week of this, let alone a few thousand years. I know I’ll be in good hands when my time comes, just as all of these people are in good hands. I shouldn’t have complained, and I’m sorry.”

  I stand there, dumbstruck by the kindness of his words. No one has ever complimented me on my work. Not even Zeus. No one has ever appreciated the fact that I do try to be respectful of the people I kill, whether they really deserve it or not. I’ve done a thankless job for thousands of years, and Alex is the first to appreciate the effort.

  Tears track down my face as I walk to Alex and kneel down on the floor next to him. I take his hand in mine and press it to my cheek, letting him feel the tears that run freely there.

  “Now it’s my turn to say thank you. That’s the first time anyone has ever spoken of my work with kindness instead of revulsion. Thank you, Alex.”

  I turn his hand over and kiss the well of his palm, folding his fingers closed over the kiss, deliberately mimicking his gesture from our day on the mountain. He pulls me over until I’m straddling his lap. Reaching up, he cradles my face with both hands.

  “I see your softer side, Atropos. I see how much you care, even though you want everyone to believe you’re so tough.”

  “It’s what people expect from me,” I say. “They expect me to be cold.”

  “I know, I know,” he whispers, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “Just promise me you won’t bury this side of yourself after I’m gone. Let someone else see it occasionally. It’s not good for you to hold it in.”

  “Don’t say, ‘gone.’ You won’t be gone to me, Alex.”

  “Yes, I will. And I don’t want you to be unhappy. So promise.”

  “I promise,” I say as I lean down to kiss his cheek and then his forehead. I stare into his eyes, trying to memorize their strange color so I’ll always remember.

  He reaches to my shoulders, pulling me down to him. Kissing me thoroughly and well, his hands slide down my back. I jerk a bit when they come to rest on my butt, but I relax quickly, enjoying the heat of his hands through my jeans.

  “I could kiss you all night,” he says when we finally break apart.

  “Technically, I think it’s morning now,” I say.

  “Do you have more work to do tonight?”

  “A bit. Do you want me to take you home first?”

  “No. I’m good.”

  “Your dad won’t mind you being out so late?”

  “He’ll never know. Ever since Mom died and I got sick, Dad hardly knows what Emily or I do at night. He locks himself in his room after dinner with pictures of her and their favorite music, and he looks at the pictures until he falls asleep. Trust me. He won’t know whether I’m home or not.”

  “That’s sad,” I say, and Alex shrugs.

  “It is what it is. I’m used to it. I think he deliberately spends time away from me so it will ease the grief when I’m gone. He stayed with Mom until the end, and it crushed him. He’s separating from me now, rather than feeling it all at the end.”

  I should have a
private conversation with Mr. Morgan about the value of appreciating what you have while it’s still here, but I let it go for now.

  “I won’t be long,” I say, kissing him lightly as I get up.

  Alex settles himself on the floor, and I go back to work. Before I resume cutting lines, I pull up Mr. Morgan’s file on the computer, angling the monitor so Alex can’t see. If he’s this depressed now, I’m concerned for him. Turns out that I have a right to be. He’s scheduled to die in six months. Cause—suicide.

  Even though I assigned this long before I knew the family, it still stings. I know that not everyone gets a happy life, but the relentless pounding that this family is taking is unfair. Especially since it’s all designed to torture me. It makes me want to punch Lacey’s nose in all over again.

  I look up Emily’s file next. At least her file gives me some good news. She won’t die until she’s eighty-four, and she’ll die of plain old age. At least she won’t be joining the rest of her family in an early grave. But she’ll be alone. Probably end up in foster care or the care of some well-meaning relative. That sucks.

  I close all the files and return to work, my heart heavy. There’s nothing to be gained from telling Alex about his father. There’s nothing I can do to stop it, and it would only make him worry more. He doesn’t need that. I simply vow to help Emily however I can once all of her relatives are dead.

  I’m cleaning up after finishing for the night when I glance over at Alex. He’s slumped against the wall, eyes closed. At first, I fear that he’s unconscious or in a coma, but then I realize he’s just asleep. I check my watch. No wonder. It’s three o’clock in the morning. I shake his shoulder. No response. I call his name. Still no response.

  The heavy sleep is probably the result of some medication he’s taking or just simple exhaustion from the cancer. He’s either going to have to spend the night here, or I’m going to have to get him home. Since getting him out in the morning without Lacey or Mom noticing will be difficult if not impossible, home it is.

  I lock up my shears, check the outer room for signs of Lacey, and then come back for Alex. Hoisting him into my arms, I carry him up the stairs and out to the car, where I lay him out across the backseat. He mumbles something and then falls back asleep. I drive to his house and realize that now I’m faced with the problem of getting him inside without waking everyone up.

  Getting out of the car, I walk around the small house. I know which room is Alex’s, and if I remember the floor plan correctly, Emily’s room is the one next door. Standing on tiptoe, I look through that window. Emily is sitting on her bed, writing in a notebook by flashlight. I’m pretty sure that she’s supposed to be asleep, but I’m glad she isn’t. I tap on the window and she jumps, but she relaxes when she sees that it’s me.

  She opens the window and leans out. “Is everything okay?” she whispers.

  “It’s fine,” I whisper back. “I have Alex, but he’s out cold. Asleep,” I clarify when she looks worried. “I need to get him inside. Quietly.”

  Emily immediately understands. “Get him and come to the back door.”

  Going back to the car, I retrieve Alex. I cradle him to my chest, and he stirs.

  “Are you carrying me again?”

  “Don’t get used to it,” I say. “Remember that it offends your manliness.”

  “I’ve decided I don’t mind, after all. I like being close to your breasts. Nothing manlier than that.”

  I laugh, but I don’t know what to say to that. Fortunately, I don’t have to come up with anything. He sighs and falls back asleep.

  I carry him to the back door, which Emily is holding open for us.

  “Good grief, you’re strong,” she says, watching me guide Alex through the door.

  “Not really. He’s just light,” I say, trying to deflect her interest in my strength. She closes the door behind us and returns to her own room, leaving me to handle Alex and get out of the house unnoticed. Thanks, Em, I think resentfully.

  I carry him down the hall and to his room. Laying him down on his bed, I pull off his shoes and cover him with his blanket. Maggie comes in. She jumps up on the bed, spins three times, and curls up next to him. Alex’s face relaxes even more. He knows he’s home. Turning over, he whispers, “Stay,” before falling deeper into sleep.

  I want to stay, to lie down beside him and hold him close, but I know I can’t be found here. I’m so tired that I know I’ll fall asleep and not wake until morning, making it likely that his father will find me. Mr. Morgan might have checked out of his son’s life emotionally, but I’m pretty sure that finding his underage son in bed with a girl would bring his parental instincts back in a hurry.

  Instead, I sneak quietly out of Alex’s house and drive back to mine. On the way to my room, I notice light coming from under Chloe’s door. I knock lightly, figuring that she’s still up.

  When she calls for me to come in, I stick my head in the door and say, “Thanks for the lesson in rule-breaking.”

  She beams at me. “You’re welcome. Did you have fun?”

  “Yeah. It was nice to have some company.”

  “Even better that it was him and not me, right?”

  “Well, you’re great and all,” I begin.

  “Yeah, but I’m not going to kiss you,” she says.

  “Right. Thanks again.”

  “Any time.”

  I back out of her room and slip into mine. Unlacing my shoes, I fall asleep the minute I hit the bed.