“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked her again.
“I’m absolutely positive. I need to spend some time with the kids. We’re going to make s’mores later over the firepit,” she announced.
“That will make them happy—and wired,” I warned.
“I plan on letting them bounce until they are so tired, they can’t walk. The s’mores will give them a short burst of energy, and then they will be out like lights,” she assured me.
“Good luck with that. I’ll have my phone on me. Call if you need anything.”
“No problem. The driver is waiting to take you into town,” she said.
“I can drive,” I insisted.
“No. You’re going out to have fun and unwind. I don’t want you to worry about not drinking because you drove. Just give him a call when you’re ready to call it a night. Unless you want to call it a morning,” she said with a wink.
“No way. No, no, no,” I said, denying the insinuation I would hook up with someone.
“Have some fun! You’re young and single and the hottest girl in town. Use that to your advantage.”
I laughed, walking out the door. Ivy was always telling me to enjoy my youth before I got suckered into marriage and had no fun at all. In my opinion, marriage was supposed to be fun, the kind of fun where a person didn’t need to go out to the bars. Ivy wasn’t adjusting to the move very well. I hoped she and Larry could find a way to reconnect and soon. They were a good couple, but things were certainly strained.
I stopped to check my reflection in the large mirror that hung inside the foyer. I wasn’t necessarily trying to impress anyone, but I wanted to look a step above my usual nanny/mommy look with no makeup and my hair tossed up on my head. I used the tip of my index finger to wipe away a tiny mascara smudge before heading out the door.
The black SUV was waiting in the driveway. I felt ridiculous being chauffeured, but Ivy wasn’t the kind of woman who took no for an answer. I got in the back seat and told Damon, our usual driver when I had the kids with me, that I wanted to go to the Old Flame Saloon. He smiled and nodded, putting the vehicle in drive and winding around the huge circular driveway. I leaned back, looking forward to what I hoped was a relaxing night.
I walked into the saloon and headed directly for the long bar, taking a seat on a stool at the end before slapping my hand on the counter. “Hey, lady!” I called out.
My best friend, Marianne Wilson, turned around, the soda hose in her hand, prepared to shoot me with water. “You are so obnoxious,” she said with a laugh.
“You know you’ve missed me.”
“The only time I see you is when your ass is planted there. I didn’t think you would actually show up,” she said, making me my favorite rum and Coke drink.
I shrugged. “It’s the only time I get to talk to you, and where else am I going to go on my night off? You’re it.”
“Thanks, I feel loved,” she grumbled, sliding my usual drink toward me on a coaster.
“I’m good,” I said, pushing it back.
“I can see how good you are. You need a drink judging by the luggage under those eyes. All the makeup in the world isn’t going to hide those worry lines,” she said with a knowing look.
I took the drink, sipping from the straw and shaking my head. “It’s been a hell of a week.”
“Kids driving you nuts? I knew the honeymoon period would wear off and the little terrors would get the best of you.”
I gave her a look. “No. It isn’t the kids. It’s Jacob.”
She frowned. “Jacob? I haven’t heard that name in a long time. What’s up with him?”
“He’s back.”
Her mouth dropped open. “No shit!”
I nodded. “Yep. He showed up to dinner at the Welsh house. From what I’ve gathered, he works for Mr. Welsh at Western Energies. I think I overheard him call him the vice president,” I revealed, actually enjoying the gossiping.
“No way,” she said, shock covering her face.
I smiled and nodded, actually kind of proud of him for making something of himself. “I guess he proved everyone wrong, huh?”
She giggled. “I suppose he did. Does your dad know? Philip?”
“My dad knows, but I’m not sure if Philip does. And, get this, my dad isn’t even bothered by it. I think he was a little relieved to know he was back.”
Her shock turned to confusion. “What? Why?”
“I don’t know. I think he is feeling a little guilty about giving us such a hard time. He thinks I have to tell him about Ellie,” I added.
She slowly nodded her head. “You do.”
“No!” I protested, expecting her to side with me.
She raised an eyebrow, folding her arms across her chest. “He’s going to find out.”
“Maybe. He might have already gone back to wherever he’s been for eight damn years,” I snapped.
“You know how people talk around here. It’s only a matter of time.”
I sighed. “I know and I swear I’m not not telling him to be spiteful, but I want to know what kind of man he is. What if he’s married? His wife might not be happy to know he fathered a kid. Hell, he could have other kids. I want to know who he is now.”
“Erin, he’s Ellie’s dad,” she reminded me.
“I know, I know, and I’ve always said I would tell her who he was one day, but what if he finds out he’s a father and runs scared? I can’t do that to her. If he isn’t in a place where he can be in her life or if he doesn’t want to be in her life, I’m not going to bother telling her,” I said firmly.
“I can understand that, but how long do you think it’s going to take you to find out what he’s up to?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t want to come right out and ask Larry. I got the feeling they were pretty good buddies. I’m not going to risk my job by saying anything bad about Jacob to him.”
“If he is going to be living and working here, he’s bound to talk to some of the people we went to school with. Everyone knew you two had a thing. It was the worst-kept secret. Everyone also figures he’s Ellie’s father despite you trying to say he wasn’t. Wouldn’t you rather be the one to tell him than idle gossip spilling the secret?” she asked.
I curled my lip, not liking my choices. “I’m supposed to be here having a drink and unwinding. You are only stressing me out more. You’re a shitty bartender. I thought you were supposed to help solve my problems,” I complained.
She snapped her bar towel at me. “I am, you just don’t like my answers. Sit tight while I get those guys a couple beers.”
I nodded, sipping the drink and thinking about what she had said. Jacob was somewhere in town; I just knew it. I knew Western Energies was gearing up for something big. Larry had been talking about bringing some of his people to town to get things off the ground. Jacob was one of his people. I still couldn’t believe we both worked for the same guy. It was one of those freak coincidences that couldn’t be explained.
Marianne returned, leaning her elbows on the bar. “Is he still good-looking?” she asked.
I grinned. “Yes, he is, damn him.”
She burst into laughter. “Did he see Ellie?”
“No. I’m not sure how I’m going to keep him from putting two and two together if he does see her. She looks enough like him that he would be able to figure out without me telling him,” I said, dreading that moment.
“You’re right, which is why you need to find him and let him know up front. This gives you the chance to lay some ground rules. Ellie never has to know. You and Jacob discuss the situation, and then figure out where to go from there. That’s the adult way to handle this,” she lectured.
I rolled my eyes. “There’s the bartender we’d been missing.”
She winked. “I give great advice. You may not like it, but it’s good.”
“Ugh. I was prepared for this moment for years, and then when it never happened, I just assumed it never would. He’s known
where to find me. If he wanted to see me again, he could have come back. He didn’t, which makes me think he’s moved on and has no room in his life for a kid,” I said, almost convincing myself that was the case.
Deep down, I knew the Jacob I had known all those years ago would demand to be a part of his child’s life. He would be pissed to know he’d missed out on so much time. His home life wasn’t good. We had talked about our future together and how we would raise our children. I sighed, thinking back to those days of sitting on the ridge under the stars after we’d made love and talking for hours. We shared everything. I knew him better than anyone else, and he knew me better than even Marianne. Then one day he was gone. I had felt like I had lost a piece of my soul when I figured out he wasn’t coming back. “I need another drink,” I muttered, quickly downing the first one.
Marianne smiled. “I know you do.”
She quickly poured me another before sliding it over to me. “Thanks.”
“It’s going to be okay. No matter how this goes, you have Ellie, you have me, and you have your family. Best-case scenario, he apologizes for abandoning you and the two of you get back together and raise Ellie. Worst case, he turns tail and runs away—again.”
I shook my head. “Your worst case might very well be the best case depending on what kind of man he is.”
I thought about her idea of best case. It was dangerous to let myself think that was even a possibility. I couldn’t deal with the heartbreak all over if he walked out on me again. I would kill him if he did it to Ellie. My baby girl deserved a loving father that would never dare leave her. Before I told Jacob anything, I was going to put some of my father’s interrogation techniques to use. I was going to interview Jacob and see if he was worthy of meeting my little girl. I was the one who’d taken care of her for eight years, staying up long nights and dealing with the puke and the poopy diapers and all the tears—she was mine.
7
Jacob
I wasn’t getting far with my plans to infiltrate the town gossip ring to find out what was being said about Western Energies. Most of the people I remembered were not keen to talk to me. How could they possibly dislike me more? I hadn’t been around to do anything to warrant their irritation.
I decided to try a different route. Alcohol was one of the best ways to get people to loosen up. It also tended to unleash some tempers as well, but I was hoping for the first. I needed to see what the local buzz was about our company. Once I knew what I was up against, I could come up with a good plan of attack.
The local bar was the place to be. It was where all the old-timers hung out, and then it was the people my age. That was where I would be able to take the temperature of the town. I could also really use an ice-cold beer. I was looking forward to walking into a place that I could be completely casual. It was one of the things I missed the most about my hometown—just being completely relaxed. No one was going to be looking at my clothes to try and determine if they were designer. I could just be old Jacob and drink beer straight from the bottle.
I parked my truck in the gravel parking lot, smirking at the very fact it was still gravel. I pushed open the door and was immediately transported back several decades. The Old Flame Saloon had not changed much over the years. It still smelled like stale beer, and the scent of cigarette smoke from way back when still clung to the walls. It was dark and dingy with only the muted bar lights with a few of the neon signs lit up to provide light. I looked around and spotted the pool tables in the back with the ugly-ass green lights hanging over them.
My eyes scanned the room, noticing there was a good-size crowd with a combination of young and old. I looked toward the bar and froze. I would know her anywhere. Her hair was loose and hanging down her back. I didn’t even stop to think about what I was going to do; I just found myself taking long strides to get there.
“We need to talk,” I said firmly, bending down and speaking directly into her ear.
Erin’s head whipped around, her eyes going wide as she looked up at me. “Um, Jacob. What are you doing here?” she stammered.
“I want to talk with you.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said, shaking her head before taking a sip from her drink.
“Erin, I’m sorry it’s been so long,” I told her.
Her eyes widened with surprise all over again. “You’re sorry?”
I scowled, wondering why that was such a surprise. I wasn’t that much of a dick. “Yes. Can we please go somewhere quiet and talk?”
She shook her head. “I have one night off, and about the last thing I want to do is go to a quiet place and talk.”
I raised my hand to order myself that cold beer I’d been craving. The male bartender quickly delivered. I dropped a ten-dollar bill and told him to keep the change. Greasing the wheels included fat tips. With my beer in one hand, I reached down and grabbed her drink from her hand and walked to a quiet booth on the opposite side of the bar from the pool tables.
“Hey!” Erin protested.
I turned and held up her drink, smiling and inviting her to come and get it. She glared at me but slid off the stool and followed. I needed her to know I was still the guy she had loved all those years ago. She sat down opposite me and snatched her drink, taking a long drink. I watched her pretty red lips wrap around the straw before looking into those dark eyes that could entrance a man. “I’ve missed you,” I blurted out.
She blinked. “What?”
“There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you. I’ve missed you,” I said again.
I knew it was bold and very much directly to the point, but I had been thinking about the reunion with her for a long time. I had told myself if I ever got the chance to see her again, I would tell her how much I missed her. I wasn’t going to play games or try and act like a tough guy. I had done that once, and it had cost me her. I needed her to know I was serious.
“Really? You’ve missed me, but you’ve known exactly where I was all this time and you never once came back? I don’t know if I believe you,” she said.
I shook my head. “It wasn’t quite so cut-and-dry. I can admit I should have pushed back when they ran me out of town.”
“What? Who?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Your brother. Your dad. They made it very clear I would not be welcome anywhere. They were both going to use their considerable influence to keep me from being able to get a job, an apartment, anything. I knew they were serious.”
She looked at me, and I could see the hurt in her eyes. “I knew they wanted you to stay away from me, but I had no idea they had gone so far as to threaten your future here.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry. I know I should have tried harder, but truthfully, they intimidated me. I didn’t know how I would live or support myself if they followed through with their threats, which I believe they absolutely would have.”
“I didn’t know,” she said in a soft voice.
“It was a long time ago. I’ve done a lot of growing up, and those threats don’t mean shit to me now,” I said, fighting back the anger that came with the memory of those times.
“I wasn’t thrilled to know they had interfered, but that was a long time ago. Things have changed,” she said nonchalantly.
I reached out and grabbed her hand. “Have they changed that much? I have never stopped thinking about you. I’m back. I’m living here, and I want to see if we can make things work again.”
Her mouth fell open. “Jacob, that was a long time ago.”
“So? I never stopped caring about you. Never. Eight years and you are still the only woman I want,” I said.
I knew I was putting myself out there and giving her the full capability to shatter my heart, but I didn’t care. I would recover. I had been waiting for the moment I could have her back in my life for too damn long to worry about my feelings getting hurt or feeling vulnerable. She was worth it.
She tried to pull her hand away from mine. I didn’t let her. Her eyes
searched mine. “Jacob, there is so much time, so much… everything.”
I nodded. I could feel her hand trembling in mine. “I know there is a lot. We’ve changed. We’ve grown up, but that doesn’t mean our feelings for each other are gone. I know it’s still there for me. I worked my ass off to get to a point where I could come back and prove to your family I was worthy of you. I know I didn’t make a great impression back then. I know I screwed up a lot and I made some pretty shitty decisions, but I’ve changed. I’m not that same stupid kid.”
She was looking at me with such hope and wonder, but I could see she wasn’t sold. “What if what you’re feeling is nothing more than memories?”
“It’s more than that.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I look at you right here, right now, and it all comes flooding back. It’s like no time has passed. I want to see if we can rekindle that flame that once burned so bright. You know how good it was. I know you felt the same way about me,” I told her, not willing to accept anything other than the truth.
She looked away, not pulling her hand from mine but using her free hand to pull her drink closer. I could feel the turmoil running through her. I knew I had surprised her by coming back and again by telling her I wanted to be with her.
“Are you seeing anyone?” I asked.
I didn’t care if she was. I would fight the dude if I had to. I was not going to walk away so easily this time.
She slowly shook her head. “No. You?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been married? Long-term relationship?” she questioned.
“I have not been married, not even close. I’ve not been in any real relationship since you. You?” I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
I didn’t want to think about her with another man. I didn’t want to think about her telling another man she loved them. I knew I didn’t have any claim to her the eight years I had been gone, but I sure as hell didn’t want to think about it or know for certain.
Bad Boy’s Secret Baby Page 4
