“No, I’ve been too busy for that,” she said with a wave of her hand.
I didn’t know what that meant. She’d been in Burning Butte. How busy could she have been?
“Good,” I said, not afraid to let her know I still considered her mine.
She finished off her drink but lifted her hand to get the attention of one of the barmaids. I was surprised to see her drinking so fast but imagined seeing me and talking to me about a relationship was a lot to take in.
“Jacob, thank you for the apology, but this, this thing between us, is really a bad idea. I don’t think I can go down that road again,” she said.
I felt like she had stabbed me in the heart. I had hoped and prayed and hoped some more that she would give me a chance if I was completely honest with her. I had put it all out on the line, and she was going to shoot me down. I couldn’t accept defeat. Not that easy. I wasn’t going to give up.
“Erin, I’m not going away. I’m buying a house in town. I’m here to stay. You’re going to be seeing a lot more of me. I’m serious when I tell you I want to get to know you all over again. I’m not talking shit or saying nice things. I’m dead serious,” I said, staring directly into her eyes.
8
Erin
I wasn’t drunk—not drunk enough to think starting up with Jacob was a good idea. However, I was just buzzed enough to let myself think about the good ol’ days. They had been good. They had been glorious days, but I wasn’t naïve enough to think I could go back to them. The past was the past, and no matter how hard a person tried, there was no return.
Despite knowing it was a horrible idea, I couldn’t quite dismiss the idea of him entirely. His strong hand over mine was making me a little crazy. There was the slightest hint of danger that drew me in. I knew what people would say if they heard we were together again after all this time. I knew they would talk and whisper. There was something about Jacob that was impossible to resist.
“Why are you back here?” I asked him.
I had heard the rumors, heard the frustrated gossip from those around town that weren’t pleased to have Larry Welsh and his company in the area. “Larry offered me a job that was too good to pass up,” he answered smoothly.
“But why here? Why are you here in Burning Butte of all places? I know he has offices all around the country,” I said.
He smiled. “Because you’re here. I had unfinished business with you.”
I shook my head. “I think there is some kind of statute of limitations on old relationships. You can’t show up out of the blue, nearly a damn decade later, without any kind of contact in all that time and expect things to go back to the way they were. That ship sailed when you hightailed it out of town without a word.”
He continued holding my hand, using his free hand to take a long drink from his beer bottle. “I already told you, that wasn’t my choice. I wanted to stay. I wanted to come back many times before, but I knew it would only result in more of the same. I didn’t want to put you in the middle of a fight between me and your family. I know you love them, and I would never make you choose. I had to go away and make something of myself so I could come back and prove to your dad and brother I was worthy of you.”
“What have you been doing these past eight years?” I asked.
He let out a long breath. “After I left here, I kind of stumbled around a bit. I ended up in Washington. I went to college and got my bachelor’s degree.”
“You did? How?” I asked, somewhat skeptical.
I knew he’d been poor. His family didn’t have any money. How in the hell had he managed to pay for it?
He chuckled. “I worked three jobs and have a shit ton of student loan debt, but I made it work.”
I was thoroughly impressed. That had to have taken some serious determination. I knew how hard it was to go part-time.
“I was determined to come back. When I started with Larry, he’d talked about the Dakotas. When he offered me the job with a position here in Burning Butte, it was like fate finally stepped in and gave me the opportunity I needed. I wasn’t about to pass it up. I’ve always been intent on coming back to reclaim what I was forced to leave behind,” he said, his voice rolling over me and leaving my skin feeling tingly.
I licked my lips, trying my hardest not to look at his mouth, but it was futile. I couldn’t stop staring at his lips and wondering what it would be like to kiss him again.
“Good for you,” I murmured for lack of anything better to say.
“Erin, why don’t we go somewhere where we can have this conversation in private, without half the town eavesdropping?” he asked, leaning forward.
I looked around and noticed there were more than a dozen eyes on us. We were making quite the scene. It wouldn’t be long before my dad was informed of our deep conversation.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He got to his feet, letting go of my hand. I followed him out the door, ignoring the many looks in our direction. He pointed to a dark truck in the lot, using his key fob to unlock the doors. I climbed in and Jacob started the truck, and drove out of the parking lot, heading north. I knew exactly where he was going. It was our spot.
He turned off the road and followed the dirt road up to the butte on the northside of town. He parked, turned off the engine and turned to look at me. I stared at the lights of our small town stretched out below. It was always so much prettier up here than it was down below. The stars were brighter, and there seemed to be a million more than what could be seen from our backyards.
“Why didn’t you call me? I tried calling you and you shut off your phone,” I said, turning to face him in the dark cab of the truck.
“My phone was shut off because I couldn’t pay the bill. I didn’t call you because I had been warned against it. I didn’t want you to get in any trouble. I promise you; I hadn’t meant for it to take me so long to get back to you. I would have been back earlier if it were possible,” he insisted.
I shook my head. “You just left me,” I whispered, my voice breaking as I remembered the hurt I had felt.
He reached out and put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. The damn seats made it difficult for any real cuddling, but I let myself go into his arms. His warmth and strength enveloped me, and I had to admit it felt nice.
“I’m sorry. I hated being away from you, but I couldn’t come back before I was ready. If I had come back too soon, I wouldn’t be strong enough to take on your dad and brother. Things would have gone badly, and I would have been forced out all over again.” His voice was low and full of emotion.
I couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks. My heart had been broken. It had ached for years. I had gone through a period of doubting myself and wondering what was wrong with me that he left me without a word.
“You could have left a note or sent a text,” I said.
He turned, his body facing mine looking into my eyes and the filtered moonlight streaming through the windshield. “I wanted to. My god, I wanted to, but there was no way they were ever going to let me have you,” he said, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away the few tears that had streaked down my cheek.
My heart was doing a happy dance, pitter-pattering and making me feel all warm and tingly. His words were the balm I had been looking for. In that moment, I believed him. “Why now?”
“Because now was the right time. Now, I’m ready to fight to get you back. I’ve never stopped thinking of you or wanting you. I swear, my entire world has revolved around me getting back to you.”
His sweet words were making me feel drunk with happiness and longing for him. His hand cupped my face as he stared into my eyes. My gaze dropped to his lips. He clearly took that as his cue to take what we’d both been longing for and brushed his lips over mine. I stiffened. It was like getting hit by a zap of electricity. I gasped, my lips parting just enough to give him the go-ahead to take the kiss to the next level.
His tongue slid into my mouth and we both moaned in
unison. All the old feelings came flooding back with the contact. I scooted closer to him, needing to feel him against me. His hand moved through my hair, coming to rest on the back of my neck. His hot fingers were sending shivers of delight up and down my spine as his mouth worked over mine. It took no time at all for the kiss to go from tender and searching to hot and needy.
It was like no time had passed at all. I reached up to run my hand through his short hair, then slid it down his back and felt the corded muscles there. He was different and the same, and I wanted him. I started to feel desperate, like I couldn’t get enough of him. He must have sensed my need. His hand moved down my body, stopping for a brief second to roughly massage my breasts before undoing the button on my jeans.
I pulled away from him, leaning back in the seat to pull my jeans down while he worked at his. I heard the quiet hum of his seat moving back and the bounce of the tilt steering wheel going up. I glanced over, saw his erection standing proud in the moonlight, and was encouraged to move faster. With my jeans off, I crawled over the center console and straddled him. My hands held his face. I looked into his eyes, angry with him for leaving me but so desperate to be with him. I wiggled my hips, finding the exact spot I needed, and slowly pushed my body down his.
His mouth was hot, his tongue dancing and dueling with mine as our bodies very slowly came together. It had been a long time. It took a few attempts to get things right, but the moment my body opened up for his invasion, I slid down over him. He groaned loudly next to my ear, his hands resting on my hips as I struggled to catch my breath. The intrusion felt good and right, and I needed a second for my body to adjust.
I moved against him, pulling away from him and leaning against the steering wheel as I ground my hips against him. He hissed, sucking in air through his teeth. His hands moved under my shirt, pushing the bra up and touching my breasts. I moaned, dropping my head back, my nose practically rubbing over the roof of the cab as I let ecstasy lead the way. His hands were big and strong, just like the rest of his body. I reached one hand between us, pressing my palm against his chest and feeling the hard muscles.
“Oh god,” I whispered, my body beginning to contract around his.
I couldn’t stop it from happening. The man was deep inside me, tickling every nerve. Streaks of white-hot fire coursed through my body, making me jerk and spasm as I moved faster, chasing the release I had gotten a little glimpse of.
“Get it, baby,” he whispered, his hand squeezing my breast, the other squeezing my ass and yanking me hard against him.
“Oh god,” I cried out again, unable to stop the orgasm from washing over me with a strong tidal wave effect, pulling me under and completely surrounding me.
9
Jacob
I held back for as long as I could, letting her set the pace, but I was quickly losing control. She felt so good, so right. It was as if my body recognized her and was just as eager to rekindle all those feelings that only she could give me. Her body was the one I craved, the one I longed for on lonely nights. Her sounds of ecstasy rang in my ears. There was no stopping my climax. I would have loved to drag it out, make it last all damn night, but my body had been starved for her for too long.
I felt her release, her body squeezing mine and pulling me deeper inside her. I shifted in the seat, trying to get deeper, wishing like hell we were in a bed where I could get some leverage. It didn’t matter. I still found the ecstasy I was searching for.
“Shit,” I breathed out as I was clutched in the tightest, sweetest vice.
I stiffened, unable to move or control my jerking hips as I found my release. I never thought it could ever be like that with her again. Part of me had begun to think I had made it up or embellished the fantasy of her. I knew that was all wrong now. It was that good. It was better than good. She collapsed against me, her head resting on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tight.
Neither of us talked for several long minutes. I could feel her heart beating against mine. It was soothing and made me think there was hope. How could two people come together like that and not be together? Our bodies were meant for one another. She’d been primed and ready with no effort from me. She wanted me. That thought filled me with so much joy I thought my heart would explode.
Just when I thought I would get a chance for round two, a flash of headlights washed over us. “Oh shit,” she gasped, rolling off me and climbing into the passenger seat. She was yanking on her jeans, cursing under her breath. I quickly stuffed myself into my pants and had them zipped and buttoned when the car parked about twenty feet away. I imagined it was a couple looking for a little privacy.
“We should go,” Erin mumbled, pulling on her shoes.
I adjusted my seat, fixed the steering wheel, and turned on the engine, then slowly drove back down the hill. Neither of us spoke. I was trying to think of the right thing to say. I had a fifty-fifty chance of sending her running in the opposite direction or getting another chance to be with her. I pulled into the parking lot, parking my truck close to the back edge, hoping we could get a chance to talk. She had her phone in her hand, furiously texting.
“Erin, I want to see you again,” I said.
She sighed, putting her phone back in her pocket, and turned to look at me. The look on her face was not what I had been hoping to see. The bit of hope I had after our brief interlude together vanished. “Jacob, what just happened, it doesn’t change anything.”
“I think it proves we both want each other,” I replied.
“It was nice, but it can’t happen again.”
“Nice?” I said, raising my eyebrows. “Baby, that wasn’t just nice,” I said, watching her blush under the lights in the parking lot.
“Mind-blowing sex isn’t exactly a relationship. It was good. Is that what you need to hear?” she asked somewhat irritably.
I grinned. “It doesn’t hurt to hear that, but you know it’s more than that. It’s always more than that.”
She slowly shook her head. “We were kids back then. We were young and crazy and had no real-life experience. We thought we had something special. It’s called puppy love for a reason. We didn’t know what it was like to be in a relationship with responsibilities and plenty of obstacles,” she said.
“It wasn’t puppy love. I know you felt the connection then, and I know you feel it now,” I argued.
“No, I felt sex. That’s what we shared just now,” she retorted.
“Bullshit. I know you better than that,” I said, not believing her for a second.
She turned to look out the window. “Jacob, we’re different people. You don’t know me anymore. It’s been eight years. We’ve both grown and changed. We can’t go back. Those days are gone. I know the idea of being together sounds appealing and it might feel like we can pick up where we left off, but the reality is, we can’t. Too much has happened. Too many hurt feelings and just too much of everything,” she said with frustration.
I reached out to touch her. She didn’t pull away which I was taking as a good sign. “We’re older and we’ve both changed—you’re right. But we’re more mature and that means were ready to deal with an adult relationship.”
“Jacob, don’t you ever wonder why we didn’t go the distance before? I mean, yes, my family was difficult, but if we were really in love, we both would have fought harder. I wouldn’t have had to keep us a secret, and you wouldn’t have left. We were infatuated, and yes, we had great sex, but that doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things,” she protested.
I shook my head. “No, don’t say that. I wanted to go the distance. I’m here. I’m ready to do this. I want to make this a real thing. I’ll stand up to anyone who tries to get in my way. Maybe I wasn’t ready for the real thing back then, but I am now.”
“It’s not that easy, Jacob! You know nothing about me or my life, and I don’t know anything about you!”
“You do know me, and I know you. Yes, I want you to fill in the blanks, but no matt
er what has happened, you’re still the girl I knew back then. I could feel it,” I stressed.
She sighed. “You felt a natural reaction to sex. That’s all,” she said and opened the door, jumping out before I got a chance to come up with a good response.
It was more than sex. I knew it and she knew it. She was being stubborn. She wasn’t going to let me waltz back into her life without putting up a little resistance. It didn’t surprise me at all. In fact, if she hadn’t played a little hard to get, I’m not sure it would have been as interesting. I watched her get into the back of an SUV and recognized it as the same one Larry often used.
There was a knock on my driver’s-side window, startling me. I turned to see Philip Maxwell standing there in his sheriff’s uniform. I had heard he’d been voted in last year. I wasn’t surprised. Like father, like son. Even when we were younger, he had said he was going to grow up and be the sheriff just like his dad. We had joked around I would be his deputy. Those were the days we were best friends, the days before his sister and I started seeing each other.
I hit the button for the window and let it slide down, both of us staring at each other. He had intimidated me once, but not anymore. Neither of us said a word as we glared at one another. I dared him to try and run me out of town. He didn’t know who he was messing with now.
“Did I just see Erin climb out of here?” he asked in a tight voice.
I wasn’t going to deny it. Part of me being back meant I was going to let the entire town know I was after Erin. I didn’t give a shit what any of them thought.
“You did,” I said defiantly.
Philip slowly shook his head. “You are one dumb son of a bitch, aren’t you?”
“Actually, no, I’m not.”
Bad Boy’s Secret Baby Page 5
