by Iris Morland
She swore at him, curse words dropping like dirty gemstones from her tongue, and it only made him want to make her insane with want. He nuzzled her, lapping at her, and before long, he was circling her clit with his tongue as he edged a finger around her entrance.
“Oh my God, oh my God. Just like that. No, nooooo.” She squealed when he pushed his finger totally inside her, and then she moaned so loudly that she clapped a hand over her mouth.
He could feel her thighs trembling, and he knew she was close. With one more lap of his tongue and a twist of his finger, she came. Her sheath contracted as her body spasmed, and he heard her gasp his name before she let out a high-pitched scream. Or yelp. It was hard to tell.
Seth kissed her thighs, her hip, the constellation of freckles on her belly. He thanked his own forward thinking that he’d put a condom in his wallet the day before, and he had the condom on before Rose even noticed.
Rose glanced down at his cock. “Oh, you had a condom? That’s good, because I don’t have any.” She giggled.
He kissed the tip of her nose, her mouth. Pulling her legs up and around his hips, he opened her to him. Her heat seared him, and it was all he could do not to plunge inside her.
“I want you inside me.” Her voice was a hot whisper in his ear. “I want you so much, Seth.”
A second later, he pushed inside her in one stroke until he was lodged to the hilt. Rose dug her nails into his shoulders—she tended to do this every time he was inside her, and he loved it—and then they were kissing as he thrust.
Gripping her thighs, he heard them knocking against the wall with each thrust, but he didn’t care if the entire apartment complex heard them. All he cared about was how extraordinary she felt around him, and how he knew right then that he could never let her go.
“I’m close. Fuck, Rose.” He angled his thrusts so his pelvis pressed against her clit. When he hit the perfect angle, he watched as her eyes rolled back inside her head.
Bingo.
“Keep going, faster, faster, harder, yes, God, Seth!” she yelled when her second orgasm hit.
Seth grunted, sweat beading on his forehead. His own release was close—so close—and when Rose licked his jaw, he felt his body tense. His orgasm hit him with the subtlety of a bomb going off. He slapped a hand against the wall, his body shaking until his muscles and bones all turned to jelly.
They stood like that for a long moment, breathing hard, when Seth felt something cold between his ass cheeks. He jumped, yelping.
Rose burst out laughing. “Callie! No! Leave Seth alone. Go lie down.” She laughed even harder at his expression.
Seth set Rose down as he turned to glare at her dog. “Can’t a guy get a little respect around here?”
“Aw, she didn’t mean it. Did you?” Rose rubbed Callie’s nose and bent to kiss her ears. Callie just gave her a wide doggy smile.
After cleaning up, they pulled out Rose’s futon and curled up together. Although the sex was amazing, Seth had to admit he liked this part almost as much. Which meant he was turning into a total sap. He could just imagine what Max would’ve said: Watch out. You’re not getting out of that trap anytime soon, man.
Seth moved his hand under his pillow, only to find a book there. He pulled it out. North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell.
“Oh, I’d forgotten I’d put that there.” Rose took the book from him, smiling. “This is one of my favorites.” Her eyes widened. “The hero’s name is Mr. Thornton, actually. John Thornton.”
Seth lay on his back, his hands behind his head. “What a coincidence. Is he ridiculously good-looking and a total lady-killer?”
“He’s actually really awkward. He totally screws up the first marriage proposal to Margaret and she tells him to take a hike.” Her smile turned dreamy. “He’s so romantic.”
Seth snorted. He flipped through the book, intrigued despite himself. “Have you read all of the books on your bookshelf?”
“Mostly. A lot of them I got in college…”
At the mention of college, they both stilled. Because of Johnny, Rose hadn’t finished college, had she? Seth hated Johnny even more, which he didn’t think was possible.
“You were an English major?”
“Yeah. Sometimes I think about going back.”
He rubbed her arm. “Why not? You should.”
“I don’t know. I’m too old, and it would be weird…”
“It’s never too late. Besides, you love it. Who reads books like this? Nobody, except people who really love them.”
She lay down on her stomach, her hair falling down her back in dark waves. “And then what? I teach? Write books?”
“Whatever you want. Sing songs in the park if you want. As long as it makes you happy.”
They talked into the night: about Seth, growing up in his crazy family; about Rose, growing up without a father and then without either parent. They talked about what they’d wanted to be when they were kids and how their lives had turned out so differently. Seth told her about when Lizzie had run off, and how he’d been adrift until he’d joined the Marines.
He didn’t tell her about possibly returning for another tour. He didn’t know why—or maybe he did. Maybe he didn’t want her to know that he was afraid he could only be a soldier and nothing else. That war was in his blood, and if he wasn’t in the Marines, he became adrift, just like he’d been before he’d joined up.
Yet as they lay together, Seth also knew that he couldn’t let Rose go. He had convinced himself he couldn’t love, that Max’s death had killed that part of him, but more and more, he realized he’d been wrong.
He loved her. He closed his eyes against the realization, but there it was. He’d do anything for her, and wasn’t that love in its purest form?
When her breathing became even and slow, he kissed her pale shoulder. I love you, he thought, unsure if he could ever say the words aloud.
16
Rose awoke to the sound of Seth’s voice. Yawning, she sat up, her brain slowly clearing of sleep.
Seth’s shoulders were tense as he spoke to someone on the phone. “Yeah, you’ll have my answer soon, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Bye.”
He seemed not to realize she was next to him. She began to rub his shoulders, concerned, but he pushed her hands away.
“I need to take a shower,” he muttered. “I’ll be back,” he added in a gentler voice.
Rose heard the water turn on next door, and as she made breakfast for herself and Seth, she frowned. Who wanted an answer from him? He hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort lately.
Rose gave Callie a bite of bacon. “It’s just one thing after another with us, isn’t it?”
Seth returned twenty minutes later, his hair wet and looking a little less dazed. They sat down to eat, not speaking, and Rose decided not to press him until he felt ready to tell her what was going on.
Seth set his plate down on the table, smiling when Callie tried to nose another piece of bacon from his plate. “Sit,” Seth said, and after Callie sat, he gave her a piece as a reward.
“I guess you’re wondering what that was about,” he said finally.
Rose bit her lip and began to fiddle with her hair. “Something like that.”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair, disheveling the damp strands. “My CO told me that he has a mission in mind for me. He can get me switched from inactive duty to active by the fall if I accept.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It means I’d do a fourth tour.”
Rose swallowed. She felt dizzy at the news, like her world had been tilted on its axis. Seth could be leaving in only a few months? She closed her eyes and did her best to stave off the panic.
“Do you know what you’re going to say?” she asked woodenly.
“No. Sometimes I think I should, because what the hell am I doing here? Making tables?” At her hurt look, he winced. “I don’t mean you. I’m sorry. I just meant that I feel like I’m meant to be only a soldi
er and nothing else.”
“That’s not true. You did really well in the Marines, from what you’ve told me, but you can’t go to war for the rest of your life. We might not even have any wars to go to eventually.” They both stared at each other at that statement before laughing sadly.
“Okay, maybe not,” she allowed, “and I may know nothing about the military, but you don’t stay on the front lines forever. Right?”
“Right. After Max died, I thought I was done.” Seth leaned back, sighing. “But I don’t know anymore. Sergeant Loyd has offered me something that could make me a sergeant if things go well.”
“And if things go badly?” Her voice was a whisper now. “What happens if you don’t come back?”
“I came back three times already. What’s a fourth?”
His light tone fell flat, and they both said nothing. The panic once again clawed at Rose’s mind. She’d just found Seth—fallen in love with him—and here he was, about to leave her.
The thought sent her to a dark place, where she was alone no matter what she did.
“Rose,” he said as he lifted up her chin. “It’s going to be all right. I haven’t made my decision yet anyway.”
“Haven’t you, though? If you were going to say no, you would’ve already.”
He couldn’t deny it; he dropped his hand and clenched his jaw.
“I don’t have a right to tell you what to do with your life, but think about your family. Yourself, even. You still have nightmares—”
“You think I don’t know that? I can’t sleep without seeing my best friend getting fucking blown up.”
Rose flinched.
“Look, I should head out. I’ll call you. Do you have to work today?” he asked.
“No. I’m going over to Heath’s. He’s picking me up.”
“Good, good. I’ll see you later.”
He was so distracted that he only kissed her cheek before heading out, not even telling Callie goodbye like he usually did.
Rose rubbed her eyes, exhausted beyond measure. She’d lied about Heath coming by: she just hadn’t wanted Seth to stick around because he felt guilty.
“Come on, girl,” she said to Callie as she got Callie’s leash, “let’s go take a walk. Otherwise I’m going to lose my mind sitting around here.”
Callie barked happily, and Rose was glad that at least somebody around here was happy for once.
When Seth screwed up a table leg for the third time, Alan told him to take a break. “Otherwise I’m going to run out of wood,” he said dryly.
Seth swore under his breath. He was too distracted to get any real work done; the usual peace he got from woodworking wasn’t happening today.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Rose’s face when he’d told her he might say yes to a fourth tour. She’d been stricken, yet she hadn’t told him to say no, either. But what else can I do? he thought rather desperately.
His mind whispered that he was just too scared to admit how much he cared for Rose—that he couldn’t tell her that he loved her. Because the people he loved died, didn’t they?
“You going to tell me what’s going on or am I going to have to torture it out of you?” Alan joked. He handed Seth a mug of hot coffee. “I haven’t seen you destroy a table leg like that since you were a kid.”
Seth grunted. “Just a lot on my mind.”
“No kidding. The missus got mad at me this morning because I’d forgotten to buy toilet paper. Like I’d remember her telling me that at seven yesterday morning when I don’t get home until five! She told me to get out until I could get my head out of my ass.” He whistled. “That woman has a temper, that’s for sure.”
“Did you buy the toilet paper?” Seth couldn’t help but ask.
“Sure did. Rolls and rolls of it sitting in my trunk right now.” Alan winked. “Because you gotta compromise to keep the peace. You can’t keep fighting everyone and everything, son.”
Seth wasn’t sure how Alan buying toilet paper when his wife had asked him to do just that was compromising, but he just smiled, shaking his head.
Alan had been a father figure to him in a way, and Seth found himself wanting to tell him about Sergeant Loyd’s offer. It wasn’t as if his own father would be of any help: Dave Thornton had never been fond of his son’s decision to join the Marines instead of doing something more prestigious. Like becoming a physician like himself and Harrison, or a lawyer. Or an investment banker or something like that. Something involving a suit, tie, and lots of money.
Alan listened without comment as Seth told him everything. Crossing his arms, Alan nodded and harrumphed a few times until Seth reached the end. Although he’d hardly mentioned Rose, apparently he’d said enough to convey that his feelings were more than just surface feelings.
“Here’s the question,” Alan said, “what do you want?”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. Do you want to make sergeant? Go back abroad to fight again? Or are you doing it because you’re running from something—or someone?” Alan stroked his mustache. “Think about that, is what I’d say. It’d be one thing if you felt like this was the right path for you. It’s another if you’re doing it for stupid reasons altogether. And it sounds like you care about this girl a lot.”
Seth shook his head. “I don’t know what I feel.”
“Yeah, you do. Don’t be a dumbass, son.” Alan slapped him on the shoulder. “Get your head out of the sand and figure it out. I have a feeling you know what the answer is; you just don’t want to face it. We all get into that place. It’s just a matter of how you get yourself out of it.”
Seth was able to finish the table without destroying another leg, his mind focused on the task at hand.
On the drive home, his phone rang. “Hey, are you still coming to the thing tonight?” Lizzie asked him.
“The thing…”
“The Fourth of July party. You know, the one our parents put on just about every year…?”
He’d totally forgotten. Shit, today wasn’t just Friday, but the Fourth of July, wasn’t it? Seth grimaced. He hated fireworks. They just reminded him of the sound of bombs, and they inevitably went on all night long. Last year had been his first year back in the States for the Fourth of July, and he’d only made it through that night with a lot of booze and some earplugs. It hadn’t helped, though, because the fireworks were close enough that that they shook the apartment.
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” he said, only so Lizzie wouldn’t be suspicious.
“Bring Rose with you.” Her tone was sly. “She can meet our parents finally.”
That made Seth groan. “That’s just evil, Lizard. She doesn’t deserve that.”
Lizzie laughed before they said goodbye. Seth hadn’t planned on taking Rose to the party, mostly because his parents would descend on Rose like vultures. Then again, he wasn’t about to leave her alone right now.
Rose agreed to come along after some persuasion. “Can I bring Callie?” she asked. “I hate to leave her alone with the fireworks going off.”
Seth knew his mother hated dogs, so he said, “Yeah, sure.”
They arrived at the Thornton mansion that sat in the hills overlooking Fair Haven later that evening. The sun wouldn’t set until after nine o’clock, and the fireworks weren’t scheduled until closer to ten thirty. Seth just prayed he could drink enough so nobody would notice his reaction to the fireworks.
Lizzie found him right away. She knew how the fireworks affected him, and she squeezed his arm. “I didn’t want you to be alone,” she explained. “Will you be okay?”
“I’m fine.” He didn’t want anyone hovering—especially not his sister.
Lizzie gave him an assessing look before turning to Rose. “It’s so nice to see you! How are you?”
“I’m great. How are you? And Bea?”
Lizzie beamed. “Come and see for yourself. I think one of my brothers has snagged her. They act like such big strong men, but around their niece…�
��
Seth watched as Lizzie took Rose around, introducing her to anyone she hadn’t already met. Not only were the Thorntons and their various significant others present, but a number of people from Fair Haven were there. The Thorntons never skimped on parties, that was for sure.
Some people Seth hadn’t seen since before he’d enlisted came up to talk to him, including a few teachers he’d forgotten about from elementary and junior high school. It was a bit like a bizarre reunion of sorts, and Seth hadn’t been prepared to answer the usual types of questions lobbed at him.
“What are you doing now?” and “What are your plans now that you’re out of the Marines?”
He dodged those questions like bullets and found refuge with his brothers, who could at least be counted on not to ask the same damn questions over and over again.
“Seth!” Caleb gave him a hug. “Good, you came. We weren’t sure you’d come. Hey, Harrison, when are the fireworks supposed to start again?”
“Ten forty-five.”
“I’ll tell Megan.”
Caleb wandered off, leaving Seth with Harrison and soon thereafter, Mark. Caleb had always been the talker of the family, so without him, the brothers often fell into usually comfortable silences with each other.
“You brought Rose with you,” Harrison finally said. “I’m glad she could come this time.”
“I’d totally forgotten this was even happening,” Seth admitted with a short laugh. “I’ve been preoccupied.”
“We heard. Have you made a decision yet?” This from Mark.
Seth was about to ask how they knew, but then he rolled his eyes. “Can nothing in his family stay a secret?”
“No,” said Mark and Harrison at the same time.
Seth told them what he’d told Alan earlier, except he made more of an effort to avoid saying anything about Rose. Now that both Harrison and Mark were happily married, they tended to act like everyone around them wanted to fall in love and get married and have families.
“There you are,” Sara said as she approached the trio. “Your mom wanted to ask you where the champagne was stored.”
