by Iris Morland
It was over. After everything that had happened to her, she’d fallen in love with a man who didn’t want to fight for that love. He wanted to let himself fall deeper into his own doom, and she could do nothing about it.
A stray firework exploded some miles away; she flinched. She waited for a second one, and she breathed a sigh of relief when that seemed to be the only one.
She washed the dishes that had been sitting in the sink all day. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, got dressed for bed. Pulling out the futon, she realized that her pillow smelled like Seth. Exchanging it for another pillow, she almost screamed—all of her pillows smelled like him.
She rolled up a blanket and used that as a pillow instead. She tried to close her eyes and sleep, but it was pointless. Her mind wouldn’t settle. Over and over, she saw Seth tell her to go, tell her not to love him.
Rose squeezed her eyes shut. She heard someone gasping, like through a tunnel, only to realize a long moment later that it was her. She clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. She refused to let Seth know how much he’d hurt her.
Sleep, sleep, sleep, she chanted inwardly. If I can’t sleep, then I can’t stop thinking about what happened.
Yet her mind wouldn’t let any of it go. She went over every word, every expression, everything conveyed tonight. She felt like she was going to choke, and she finally sat up, coughing and panting. Tears burned her eyelids. That familiar friend—panic—climbed up her throat and threatened to strangle her.
“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” she muttered. She put her head in her hands. Rocking back and forth, she chewed on the inside of her cheek to muffle the sounds of her sobs, but after a while, she couldn’t keep them contained anymore. Grabbing the rolled-up blanket, she buried her face in it and cried until her eyes were swollen and her head pounded.
She cried until she could barely rise to go the bathroom. When she saw her reflection in the mirror, she instantly switched off the light, but that one glimpse had shown her that she looked like she’d been dragged to hell and back again.
Rose returned to the futon and curled up into a ball. Stray tears leaked from her eyes, and she was too tired to wipe them away. Callie lay on the floor next to her the entire time, full of canine concern.
“I love him,” she whispered. “I still love him.”
This hurt more than what Johnny had done to her because she knew Seth cared for her. Loved her, even. Yet he’d turned his back on her when she’d made herself vulnerable and confessed her feelings. Even worse was knowing that he was punishing himself for losing Max. He’d accused her of being a coward, but if anyone was a coward, it was Seth.
Everything—Johnny, the money, the threats—seemed unimportant. She couldn’t bring herself to care. She knew she was going to meet Johnny tomorrow—or was it already today?—at the Sanditon Pass. She’d already set her alarm to get up early to catch the bus. But when before she would’ve been a bundle of nerves, now she was numb.
She began to fall asleep, but then she felt something solid drop into the palm of her hand. She opened her eyes to see that Callie had brought her that damn hummingbird figurine that Seth had let her keep. The tears sprang up again, and she burst into a second bout of tears. She clutched the figurine to her heart until she was so exhausted from crying that she finally went to sleep.
It was early afternoon by the time Rose arrived in the last town before you hiked up to the Sanditon Pass. As the bus traveled closer and closer to her destination, she began to feel the nerves again. The money in her jacket pocket, along with her gun, seemed inordinately heavy.
She took a deep breath, glanced at the directions Johnny had given her, and started walking.
It was about two miles into a wooded area, bursting with evergreens and wildflowers. The grass whistled in the breeze, dry and yellow from the summer dry spell, and if Rose weren’t walking to what she knew was her certain doom, she might have enjoyed the walk. When a butterfly fluttered past her, she had to stifle a hysterical laugh.
She’d done as Johnny had asked her: she hadn’t told anyone where she was going—at least not yet. She checked her phone to make sure she still had cell service, and she sent off a quick text to Heath. I’m at Sanditon Pass was all she wrote. By the time Heath saw the text, she’d be without service.
At least this way, her brother could find her if she didn’t come back.
Fear crawled up her spine, and she sent up a silent prayer to whoever was listening that she would get out of this alive. If she could just persuade Johnny to take the money…
She arrived at a cabin around a long bend, and it looked so idyllic that Rose was afraid she’d taken a wrong turn. Then she saw Johnny’s car before Johnny himself walked outside.
“You’re here!” he said. He had a cigarette in his hand as he embraced her. “I thought you’d never come.”
The hug lingered, and Rose gritted her teeth to keep herself from wrenching away. Slithers of disgust ran up and down her body from his mere proximity. He smiled down at her, his teeth flashing in the bright sunshine.
“Let’s go inside. Are you hungry? It’s almost lunch.” He acted like this was some bizarre picnic, and Rose wanted to strangle him.
“I’m not going inside with you.” She pulled out the envelope of cash and held it out. “Here’s your money: every cent is there, including interest. Now leave me and my family alone. We’re done.”
Johnny looked at the money like she’d tried to give him a dead frog. “Didn’t I say I didn’t want your money?”
“I’m paying you back. Take it.”
He didn’t speak for a long moment. Finally, he took the money, and Rose breathed a deep sigh of relief.
Until she saw the smile forming on Johnny’s face.
“Rosie, Rosie, Rosie. So sweet and naïve still. You amaze me. Did you really think you could pay me off and I’d let you go?” He moved so close to her that she felt his clove-scented breath on her face. “There’s no way in hell you’re going home now,” he whispered.
“You have your money. What else do you want?”
He touched her cheek, and this time, she did flinch.
“Now, are you going to come inside, or am I going to have to persuade you to?”
The second he stepped away, she pulled out her gun, aiming it straight at his heart like she’d done at the park weeks ago.
“I’m not going anywhere with you. Either let me leave, or I’ll shoot you.” She knew that this time, she wouldn’t even hesitate.
He shrugged. “Do it. Shoot me. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”
Rose had her finger on the trigger now. The sun beat down on her neck, sweat breaking out on her forehead. Licking her lips, she rasped, “Let me go, Johnny.”
“You can leave if you want, but like I said: there will be consequences.” He smiled again as he reached inside his pocket for something.
Rose expected a gun, but when he pulled out what looked like a dark ribbon, she hesitated. It wasn’t a ribbon, though: it was a lock of hair.
“Just so you know, we have one of your friends here. What was her name? Jenny? Julie? Jubilee!” He laughed. “Interesting name. I wonder if it’s a family name.”
Rose felt the blood drain from her face as she stared at that long strand of dark hair, the same color as Seth’s. Only Jubilee had hair that long. Her heart stuttered as the lock blew in the breeze, taunting her.
Oh God, not Jubilee. Why Jubilee? She was innocent in all of this. Rose struggled to understand why Johnny would choose her, but to him, any person who knew Rose could be used against her. If he had hurt her, or God forbid, raped her—
She closed her eyes for a split second. She couldn’t give into panic, that was what Johnny wanted.
“So, you have two choices,” Johnny said conversationally as he swung the lock back and forth. “You can leave and we’ll kill your friend. Or, you can come with me, and we’ll let her go.”
Rose took her finger from the trigger. “You sw
ear to let Jubilee go?”
“Of course. I always keep my promises.”
A bird cawed in a tree nearby. Johnny waited, his eyebrows slightly raised. The lock of hair looked like a tiny noose now.
When she lowered her gun, putting the safety back on, Johnny laughed. Then before Rose could react, Johnny slapped her—hard—the gun skittering across the ground. She staggered as Johnny grabbed her forearm, his fingers digging into her skin.
“You’ve made the right choice, my dear,” he said as he dragged her into the cabin.
She struggled, trying to free herself from his grip, but he only grabbed her by the hair and shook her.
“Behave yourself.” He pulled her head back, exposing her throat. “Or your little friend is going to have a very bad time.”
Johnny took her to a bedroom in the back of the cabin. There was no furniture to speak of. It was a prison cell.
“Where’s Jubilee?” Rose demanded. “If you’ve hurt her, I’ll kill you. I swear it.”
“Where’s Jubilee? Funny you should ask that.” He turned his brightest smile on her—so bright that she almost had to close her eyes. “I hate to say this, but I lied.”
She blinked. “What?”
“I lied. We don’t have the girl. You gave yourself up for no reason.”
At her stricken expression, he laughed. Then he slammed the door and locked it, leaving her to scream at him from inside her makeshift cell.
“Seth, it’s Jubilee. Open up. I have cupcakes.”
Seth heard Jubilee’s voice and winced. What time was it? He groaned when he saw it was almost noon. He couldn’t remember when he’d fallen asleep last night after…everything.
Even the mention of cupcakes from The Rise and Shine wasn’t enough of a temptation to rouse him from his bed.
“I’m sleeping!” he yelled and burrowed below the covers.
“I’m not leaving until you open the door. Or I’ll just call Mom and have her come by—”
Seth opened the door to see his little sister beaming up at him.
“You’re evil,” he said as she came inside.
“No, just effective. Here, I brought one of each flavor. I thought you’d need it.” She looked at him and sighed. “Are you okay?”
What a question! No, he wasn’t okay. He’d told Rose he couldn’t love her and that they were over. He was going to accept Sergeant Loyd’s offer and leave for another tour in the fall.
All in all, he was a damn wreck.
“Fine,” he said as he plucked a chocolate cupcake from the platter. It tasted like sand in his mouth, but he needed to eat something. “You didn’t have to come by.”
“I wanted to. I had the day off, and Lizzie texted me… I heard about what happened last night. Do you want to talk about it?”
It struck him then that his little sister wasn’t a child anymore. She’d grown up while he’d been away fighting. It depressed him. What had happened to the sweet girl who’d hung onto his every word? Who’d had to be protected and coddled because she’d suffered from leukemia twice in her short life?
“I don’t want to talk about it.” At her sad expression, he sighed. “You can sit with me, though. Tell me what’s going on with you.”
Jubilee sensed that he wanted peace and quiet, though, and she didn’t chatter his ear off. The younger Jubilee would’ve taken the opportunity to tell him everything, but not this Jubilee. She had a maturity to her that Seth could barely reconcile with the girl he’d known.
“Do you love her?” Jubilee asked suddenly.
He didn’t need to ask who she meant. “Yes. But it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters. Have you told her how you feel? Because she feels the same.”
He narrowed his eyes. “How do you know?”
“You know, when you’ve been kept in a bubble your entire life, you tend to pay attention to other people. You don’t have any interesting stories about yourself, so you have to discover someone else’s.” Her smile was bittersweet. “Point being, I saw the way she looked at you at the party last night. It was obvious to anyone with working eyeballs.”
That made him groan. He dropped his face into his hands. “I’ve fucked it all up, Jubi.”
“Come on, tell me. I’ve seen Harrison, Caleb, and Mark all screw up with their soulmates and look at them now. They figured it out.”
That doesn’t mean I will.
He told her about Sergeant Loyd’s offer, about how last night had made him sure it was the right decision. He told her about his fight with Rose, how things had fallen apart. He didn’t tell her about Johnny, although the thought of what Rose had gone through—and the fact that he’d added to her burden—only made him feel worse.
He needed to talk to her. He couldn’t be the right guy for her, but he’d made her a promise to keep her safe.
“Love sucks,” Jubilee said, “but it also makes you a better person. I’ve seen how you are around Rose. We all have. It’s like you’ve come back to yourself.”
“I’ve always been myself.”
She shook her head. “When you came back last year…you weren’t the older brother I’d known. I knew you wouldn’t be—it’d been so long since you’d really been home. But sometimes I couldn’t find that person in you still. Does that make sense?”
“You’re not the little girl I left behind, either.”
“I hope not. I haven’t been a little girl in a long time.”
Looking at Jubilee, he knew she spoke the truth. He’d returned to Fair Haven a shell of a man, but Rose? Rose had awoken a purpose within him, and she’d loved him despite everything he’d done. He swallowed, a lump in his throat.
Maybe I can make a life here. Maybe I can be the man Rose thinks I am.
It was a heady thought, and one he wanted to make happen more than he’d ever wanted anything.
“You’ll find a way. Just tell Rose you’re sorry.”
He smiled. “How do you know it’s my fault?”
“It’s always the guy’s fault.”
He challenged that, and they bickered like siblings until they were both laughing.
“How do you know so much about love?” Seth couldn’t help but ask. He watched Jubilee’s cheeks turn red. “Is there somebody you like?”
“I’m not telling you that.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. I told you everything.”
Jubilee opened her mouth to reply when someone banged on the front door. They both jumped at the sound.
“Seth! Open up! It’s Heath! Rose is missing.”
Seth wrenched open the door to see a red-faced, panting Heath, his eyes wild with panic.
“It’s Rose,” he said again. “She’s not answering her phone, she isn’t home, and she sent me this text.” He showed Seth his phone, which had a single text from Rose: I’m at Sanditon Pass.
“Why the fuck would she go there…?”
The two men both stared at each other when they realized the exact reason why. The blood drained from Seth’s face.
“Johnny.”
“What is it? What’s happened?” Jubilee took in their faces and turned pale. “You guys are scaring me.”
“Jubi, call Caleb. Tell him I need him to get a team to go up to Sanditon Pass.”
She frowned, but at his determined expression, she didn’t balk. And Seth didn’t have time to explain.
Rose was in danger. Had Johnny taken her? His mind whirled, but his soldier’s training kept him calm. After he gathered his gun and enough bullets for an hours-long gunfight, he headed out.
“Wait!” Heath grabbed his arm. “I’m coming with you.”
“Stay here. Find Caleb, and take Jubi with you. She can help.”
Heath looked like he wanted to protest, but sensing he would lose that battle, he nodded tightly.
“Go get my sister, Thornton,” he said, his eyes flashing. “Otherwise I’ll find you and shoot you myself.”
“If I don’t find her, I’ll be begging y
ou to shoot me.”
19
After Johnny left her, Rose took in the room, looking for any means of escape. There was no furniture, nothing to use as a weapon to get the zip ties loose. Rose struggled for a while, until she realized all she was doing was hurting herself in the process.
She forced herself to stay calm. She’d texted Heath her location, and she knew her brother would move heaven and earth to find her. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply, in and out.
What would Seth do? Sitting in this prison cell, tied up and terrified, she felt all of her feelings of anger and grief toward Seth melt away. She wanted to see him one last time because no matter what, she loved him. What if she never got to tell him how much she loved him again?
She choked back a sob at that thought. She couldn’t devolve into panic, or she would never get out of this alive.
Johnny had used zip ties on her wrists and her ankles, tying each ankle to the chair itself. Years ago, she’d taken a brief self-defense class, and she forced herself to remember what they’d learned about getting out of zip ties. Her mind was so dizzy with fear, though, that it took her some time to calm herself enough to think clearly.
Think. Don’t let him win like this, Rose.
She remembered practicing, how it had taken her a bunch of tries, but she’d finally broken free of the zip-ties during the class. Thinking back to that experience, she leaned down and took the free end of the zip tie and bit down to tighten it as much as she could around her wrists.
Then she lifted her hands up and brought them down quickly against her stomach.
Nothing. The zip tie hadn’t budged.
She tightened it again with her teeth and when she brought her hands down, she did it with more force, to the point that she almost tipped herself over. She was able to steady herself, but it had been a close call.
“One more try. You can do this,” she muttered to herself.
Tighten; lift your arms; bring them down and flare your shoulders to break the zip tie.
With a gasp, she felt the zip tie break. It fell into her lap, and within moments, she had gotten herself free from the chair.
