The Paladin Prophecy

by Mark Frost

  He recognized a second student, across the table from Hobbes. Looking straight into the camera, smiling. The closer Will looked, the more certain he became. The photo had been taken before he’d been changed or altered into the twisted miserable wretch they knew now.

  The second student was Happy Nepsted.

  DAD’S LIST OF RULES TO LIVE BY

  #1: THE IMPORTANCE OF AN ORDERLY MIND.

  #2: STAY FOCUSED ON THE TASK AT HAND.

  #3: DON’T DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.

  #4: IF YOU THINK YOU’RE DONE, YOU’VE JUST BEGUN.

  #5: TRUST NO ONE.

  #6: REMAIN ALERT AT ALL TIMES TO THE REALITY OF THE PRESENT. BECAUSE ALL WE HAVE IS RIGHT NOW.

  #7: DON’T CONFUSE GOOD LUCK WITH A GOOD PLAN.

  #8: ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO IMPROVISE.

  #9: WATCH, LOOK, AND LISTEN, OR YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING.

  #10: DON’T JUST REACT TO A SITUATION THAT TAKES YOU BY SURPRISE. RESPOND.

  #11: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

  #13: YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE TO MAKE A FIRST IMPRESSION.

  #14: ASK ALL QUESTIONS IN THE ORDER OF THEIR IMPORTANCE.

  #15: BE QUICK, BUT DON’T HURRY.

  #16: ALWAYS LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE. GIVE THEM A HANDSHAKE THEY’LL REMEMBER.

  #17: START EACH DAY BY SAYING IT’S GOOD TO BE ALIVE. EVEN IF YOU DON’T FEEL IT, SAYING IT—OUT LOUD—MAKES IT MORE LIKELY THAT YOU WILL.

  #18: IF #17 DOESN’T WORK, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

  #19: WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG, TREAT DISASTER AS A WAY TO WAKE UP.

  #20: THERE MUST ALWAYS BE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EVIDENCE AND CONCLUSION.

  #23: WHEN THERE’S TROUBLE, THINK FAST AND ACT DECISIVELY.

  #25: WHAT YOU’RE TOLD TO BELIEVE ISN’T IMPORTANT: IT’S WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE. IT’S NOT THE INK AND PAPER THAT MATTER, BUT THE HAND THAT HOLDS THE PEN.

  #26: ONCE IS AN ANOMALY. TWICE IS A COINCIDENCE. THREE TIMES IS A PATTERN. AND AS WE KNOW …

  #27: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A COINCIDENCE.

  #28: LET PEOPLE UNDERESTIMATE YOU. THAT WAY THEY’LL NEVER KNOW FOR SURE WHAT YOU’RE CAPABLE OF.

  #30: SOMETIMES THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH A BULLY IS TO HIT FIRST. HARD.

  #31: IT’S NOT A BAD THING, SOMETIMES, IF THEY THINK YOU’RE CRAZY.

  #34: ACT AS IF YOU’RE IN CHARGE, AND PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE YOU.

  #40: NEVER MAKE EXCUSES.

  #41: SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE SLEEPY. CATS TAKE NAPS SO THEY’RE ALWAYS READY FOR ANYTHING.

  #45: COOPERATE WITH THE AUTHORITIES. BUT DON’T NAME FRIENDS.

  #46: IF STRANGERS KNOW WHAT YOU’RE FEELING, YOU GIVE THEM THE ADVANTAGE.

  #48: NEVER START A FIGHT UNLESS YOU CAN FINISH IT. FAST.

  #49: WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, JUST BREATHE.

  #50: IN TIMES OF CHAOS, STICK TO ROUTINE. BUILD ORDER ONE STEP AT A TIME.

  #51: THE ONLY THING YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE IS HOPE.

  #54: IF YOU CAN’T BE ON TIME, BE EARLY.

  #55: IF YOU FAIL TO PREPARE, YOU PREPARE TO FAIL.

  #59: SOMETIMES YOU FIND OUT MORE WHEN YOU ASK QUESTIONS TO WHICH YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER.

  #60: IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE ANSWER YOU GET, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE ASKED THE QUESTION.

  #61: IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE THE RIGHT WAY, DO IT YOURSELF.

  #63: THE BEST WAY TO LIE IS TO INCLUDE PART OF THE TRUTH.

  #65: THE DUMBEST GUY IN A ROOM IS THE FIRST ONE WHO TELLS YOU HOW SMART HE IS.

  #68: NEVER SIGN A LEGAL DOCUMENT THAT HASN’T BEEN APPROVED BY A LAWYER WHO WORKS FOR YOU.

  #72: WHEN IN A NEW PLACE, ACT LIKE YOU’VE BEEN THERE BEFORE.

  #73: LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TACTICS AND STRATEGY.

  #75: WHEN YOU NEED TO MAKE A QUICK DECISION, DON’T LET WHAT YOU CAN’T DO INTERFERE WITH WHAT YOU CAN.

  #76: WHEN YOU GAIN THE ADVANTAGE, PRESS IT TO THE LIMIT.

  #77: THE SWISS ARMY DOESN’T AMOUNT TO MUCH, BUT NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEIR KNIFE.

  #78: THERE’S A REASON THE CLASSICS ARE CLASSICS: THEY’RE CLASSIC.

  #79: DON’T MAKE ANOTHER’S PAIN THE SOURCE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

  #81: NEVER TAKE MORE THAN YOU NEED.

  #82: WITHOUT A LIFE OF THE MIND, YOU’LL LIVE A MINDLESS LIFE.

  #83: JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE PARANOID DOESN’T MEAN THAT SORRY IS BETTER THAN SAFE.

  #84: WHEN NOTHING ELSE WORKS, TRY CHOCOLATE.

  #86: NEVER BE NERVOUS WHEN TALKING TO A BEAUTIFUL GIRL. JUST PRETEND SHE’S A PERSON, TOO.

  #87: MEN WANT COMPANY. WOMEN WANT EMPATHY.

  #88: ALWAYS LISTEN TO THE PERSON WITH THE WHISTLE.

  #91: THERE IS NOT—NOR SHOULD THERE BE—ANY LIMIT TO WHAT A GUY WILL GO THROUGH TO IMPRESS THE RIGHT GIRL.

  #92: IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO TELL YOU MORE, SAY LESS. OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS, AND CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.

  #94: YOU CAN FIND MOST OF THE WEAPONS OR EQUIPMENT YOU’LL EVER NEED AROUND THE HOUSE.

  #96: MEMORIZE THE BILL OF RIGHTS.

  #97: REGARDING EYEWEAR AND UNDERWEAR: ALWAYS TRAVEL WITH BACKUPS.

  #98: DON’T WATCH YOUR LIFE LIKE IT’S A MOVIE THAT’S HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE. IT’S HAPPENING TO YOU. IT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

  OPEN ALL DOORS, AND AWAKEN.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Many thanks are in order: to my great friend and comrade Ed Victor, the estimable Sophie Hicks, and all the stalwarts in the London office of Ed Victor, Limited; to Chip Gibson, Annie Eaton, Ellice Lee, and my sagacious and resolute editor, Jim Thomas, at Random House; to Dr. Hal Danzer, Dr. Sheri Fried, Dr. Bob Garrett, Alan Kerner, Dr. David Miller, Dr. Carolyn Roberts, and Dr. Benjamin Shield for their expertise on matters medical and metaphysical; to friends and colleagues Frank Bredice, Derek Cardoza, Dennis Colonello, Keiko Cronin, Jodi Fodor, Jeff Freilich, Alicia Gordon, Stephen Kulczycki, Susie Putnam, Jason Spitz, Alan Wertheimer, and Steve Yoon for their encouragement and support; and most of all to my sister, Lindsay, my wife, Lynn, and my son, Travis, who make traveling this path worthwhile.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  MARK FROST studied directing and playwriting at Carnegie Mellon University. He partnered with David Lynch to create and executive produce the groundbreaking television series Twin Peaks. Frost cowrote the screenplays for the films Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. He is also the New York Times bestselling author of eight previous books, including The List of Seven, The Second Objective, The Greatest Game Ever Played, and The Match. To learn more, visit ByMarkFrost.com.