How can something so wrong feel so fucking right?
Slowing the kiss, Cassie pulls back, running her hand through my hair. “You drive me crazy too, you know that, right?”
“I’m sorry. I’m a confused mess. I never meant to lead you on.”
“We should go,” she says with a cute smile.
Stepping back, I give her a subtle nod.
The whole drive back to the dance studio is in silence.
Neither one of us say anything, and the longer the silence persists, the more confused I am.
Does she regret the kiss?
Why hasn’t she said anything?
The more I think about it, the more the doubt sets in.
Pulling up outside the building, I place my hand on her forearm.
“I keep messing up.” I sigh. “I’m sorry about the kiss. I know it should never have happened, but I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”
“You regret the kiss?” She gapes.
“I regret anything that will cause this between us.” I point between us, turning and facing her. “This, uh, awkwardness. The silence. Something is wrong but I have no idea what it is.”
“I’m scared, Leo. You’re the first guy I’ve felt something for in, well, in a long time.”
“You’ve been hurt in the past?” My throat dries and I suddenly feel angry. Angry that she has been hurt before.
Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Well?” I prompt gently.
“I want to tell you…believe me I do. But I just can’t. It’s a part of my past that I just can’t share.”
She looks up at me through her lashes, emotion in her eyes. Tears well and I feel sick to my stomach.
“I guess the secrets of our past will always haunt us, huh?” My hand reaches for her chin and I draw her into me, pressing a soft kiss against her cold trembling lips.
Her eyes flutter shut and she doesn’t resist.
Maybe this would be the last kiss we ever have. Maybe this was our emotional goodbye.
“I wish things were different,” she murmurs against my lips.
“Me too. In another lifetime, huh?”
A nervous chuckle escapes her. Pulling away she swings open the door of the car and steps out. I watch her leave and she never looks back.
A little part of me shatters when she walks away. Because in that moment I see a happiness, a life I could’ve had, walking away from me.
Cassie
My lips shiver as I watch Leo and his new shiny car drive away. I’m more broken and confused than I’ve even been. Why did that just feel like a goodbye? Every time we are close, it feels like we push each other away.
Maybe we are just two messed-up souls being haunted by the demons of our past. Only my demons have been hidden. My secret, my pain, and anguish. My past that should’ve remained there—in the past.
But Leo brought something I’d buried so deep to the forefront of my mind. Feeling something for him, the attraction that I have, made the emotions I’d hidden for so long come flooding back like a tidal wave.
I feel like Vinny has ruined my chances of being with anyone.
Frozen to the spot, I can’t stop thinking about what a mess this whole shitty situation is.
“Cass?” Sasha’s voice calls to me. Spinning on the spot I see her approaching me from behind. “Honey?” Her eyes are clouded with concern. “You’re shivering, what’s wrong?”
“How long do you have?” I roll my eyes and she grins sympathetically.
“For you, honey, all night.”
“Then let’s go back to my house. But we avoid Leo. I don’t know how much more of him I can take.”
Her brows knit together and she’s clearly confused.
I shake my head. “I’ll explain all.”
* * *
Three hours later and a whole lot of talking, I sit on the bed facing Sasha. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, but most of all, I feel better. And it’s all thanks to the crazy chick wearing the most ridiculous green face mask I’ve ever seen.
A smirk tugs on my tightened face.
“Don’t. You. Dare,” she warns, trying to speak without her mouth moving. “This thing cracks and I’m blaming you.”
I stifle a laugh. “This is what I really needed today.” I reach for her hand, squeezing gently. “Thank you.”
She doesn’t physical smile, but I see the smile in her eyes as they light up.
Sasha’s phone chimes, and without a second thought, I snatch it up from the bed and start to read the message preview. She grunts something I can’t make out, while launching herself at me. Skipping off the bed, I race away from her, looking at the message.
It’s from Jared.
“Give it back,” she demands.
“Ooh, Sasha, it’s Jared,” I tease.
Jared: Look forward to seeing you at the party…
“I’ll take that,” she mumbles, snatching the phone from my hand. Her eyes scan over the screen and she then presses the phone against her chest. “He texted. I wasn’t sure if he was really that into me, but it seems that he is.”
“Aren’t you going to text back?”
“Not yet. I’m playing it cool. We should get this off our faces.”
We head into the bathroom, and I run the hot water, filling the sink. Handing her a washcloth, we both start to remove the masks from our faces.
“Not gonna lie, you were quite scary with that green stuff on your face. Not to mention your stern, expressionless look.”
“You should be scared,” she replies, in the least scary voice I’ve ever heard.
I laugh.
“You know; I still think you should invite Leo to the party.”
Tensing, I whip my head to the side, my eyes wide. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Hear me out.” She pleads with her eyes and I relax my stiffened body. “Leo is working here, hell, living here. You don’t want things to be awkward. If you two aren’t taking the attraction anywhere, then you could at least try to be friends.”
Frowning, I let out a huge sigh. “We tried that. It just didn’t work.”
“Hmmm, but maybe now you’ve both stepped back a little, you need to clear this whole weird vibe.”
“My mind keeps messing with how I feel about Leo. For that reason, I’ve stepped back. Not because I don’t feel anything for him anymore. Shit, it’s those feelings that are confusing the hell out of me.”
“Maybe you could talk to someone about what happened in the past. Burying what happened isn’t healthy, Cass.”
Clenching my eyes shut, I try and force the memories and the pain that crushes my chest away. “Thinking about it. That’s not healthy. I’ve managed to cope for years without needing to think about what happened.”
“You isolated your feelings, that’s understandable. But you still need to be able to feel, honey. You can’t spend the rest of your life never loving someone because you won’t allow yourself to get close. Believe me, that’s no life at all. You deserve to be happy, and maybe exorcizing the demon is the way to go.”
With a smile, I fight back tears. Everything Sasha has said makes complete sense. I just don’t know that I’m ready to deal with the pain dragging up the past will bring.
“Maybe,” I croak, desperately trying to hold it together. “The thing is, I want Leo, I just don’t want all the shitty memories that come to the surface whenever he touches me. All I think of is Vinny and the awful things he made me do.” I shudder, forcing the vivid images from my mind. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be texting Jared back?” I quickly add, wanting to change the subject.
“Nah, not yet. Keep him on his toes.”
Chapter Twelve
Leo
This week has been the worst. I feel like I’ve been mourning the loss of something I never really had. But I’m doing the right thing not complicating things between Cassie and me.
Despite how badly I’ve wanted to knock on her bedroom door
, storm inside, and make her mine, with no regrets.
I was a fool to let the desire I had for her manifest into something more.
Despite being busy renovating the office, the week has dragged. I’ve looked for her at every turn. I made the decision to stay away, but it doesn’t stop me from caring about her.
Standing beside the cars on the driveway, I lean down, dipping my sponge into the bucket of soapy water. Working the sponge back and forth, I set to cleaning the cars lined up in the driveway. It may be 6 p.m. but I don’t care. Keeping busy makes the time pass. After all, I don’t have anything else to fill that void right now.
The familiar click of heels on the walkway causes me to lift my head.
My eyes meet Liza strolling toward me, smile wide, chin up, and tits pushed out.
“Leo, darling,” she drawls.
“Good evening, Mrs. Conway,” I reply politely, trying to keep things totally professional between us.
She stops just beside me, her eyes raking over my naked top half. “Well isn’t this a beautiful sight,” she compliments, her eyes momentarily widening. “This can totally wait until tomorrow, dear.”
“It’s no problem. I’ve started now, so I may as well finish. Besides, I have the yard work to do tomorrow.”
“You’re such a hard worker, Leo. I’m very pleased with what you’ve done around the place. In fact, I’m so happy that I think I should thank you later. Mr. Conway and Cassie will both be out this evening.” She presses her lips between her teeth, getting closer to me until I feel her breath on my cheek. “We could go for a ride in your new car. I know this really nice secluded spot where we can really get to know each other.”
Swallowing hard, I reach my free hand to the back of my neck, squeezing and rubbing. I’m tense and yet another Liza come-on is too much right now.
“I, uh, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” I stutter my reply.
Her index fingernail lands against my chest. She slowly starts to trail it down, only stopping when she reaches the band of my jeans. “That kiss, Leo. It’s all I’ve been able to think about. I’ve touched myself over and over again thinking about you and what that mouth could do on other parts of my anatomy. Do you know it’s kind of my fantasy to be fucked on the hood of a Mustang. I think you should be the one to help me fulfill that fantasy.”
“Liza,” I say letting out a breathy chuckle. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything,” she quickly replies. “Let our bodies do the talking.”
I almost recoil at the shit flying from her mouth. Thinking about my response, those few seconds feel like minutes.
Opening my mouth, I go to speak, only to be interrupted. “Hi, Mrs. Conway. Can I go straight in?”
Liza stands upright, stepping back until there is space between us. My chest depresses as I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. The girl stops beside us, waiting for Liza’s response.
“I guess so,” Liza snaps, her eyes scraping over the girl and her lip curling in disgust. As soon as the girl steps inside the house, Liza returns her attention to me.
“Who was that?”
“Cassie’s best friend, Sasha. I really don’t know what Cassie sees in her. She’s nothing but trash. Lives in the worst area around these parts. It’s embarrassing actually.”
“What is?”
“That a Conway should be associated with the likes of her.”
My jaw tenses as I narrow my eyes on Liza. This whole fake persona of helping those less fortunate is clearly bullshit. Just like Cassie said.
“Not very Christian of you, Liza,” I point out and her face puckers in surprise.
“Well, uh, she’s trouble that one.”
“Right,” I reply, lifting my head. “I must get these cars done, so if you’ll excuse me.”
Pressing the sponge against the bodywork, I move in a circular motion, my eyes completely focused on what I’m doing.
“Leo,” Liza interrupts, her voice gentle. “Maybe I came on a little bit strong, and for that I’m sorry…”
“Liza,” I blurt out. I stop what I’m doing and turn until I’m looking her directly in the eye. “I’m grateful for all you have done for me, but I’m not interested in being your plaything, your toy, your piece on the side. That’s not me. And if that means you no longer want me here, then I’ll leave.”
Her lashes flutter faster than normal and her face hardens. I can see how surprised she is, but I had to put a stop to this bullshit.
“I gave you a new identity. I gave you a home and a car for God’s sake. Don’t you think you should show me some appreciation for everything I’ve done for you?”
“By sleeping with you?” I almost gasp.
“Don’t act like this isn’t what you want. You’ve been outrageously flirtatious with me since we first met. You kissed me in my husband’s bathroom for crying out loud.”
Fucking bitch.
I shake my head in utter disbelief.
“Think it over, Leo. I was hoping to share with you some good news I had about your college application.”
Her head twists as she quickly checks over her shoulder. “We’ll talk more later. When we’re alone.” She winks, spins on the spot, and sashays her way back inside.
Thickness grows in my throat as anger swells inside me. I’ve been a fool. A complete fool to believe this would work. I’m being blackmailed by Liza. Everything she has said and done, she’s turning it all on me.
But who will believe me, huh?
No one.
The rich MILF will be believed over anything I have to say. The last thing I need is to be the focus of any sort of scandal. That’ll surely attract unwanted attention.
Keeping a low profile is the only way I can make this secret life of mine work.
Clenching my fist tightly, I slam the sponge down on the hood of the car, letting out a low growl.
“What did the car do to you?” the sweet voice interrupts me. I jerk up in surprise to see Cassie and her friend standing just a few feet away from me.
My eyes scrape over her perfect body. Fuck, she looks hot.
Where is she going, and who the hell with, looking like that?
“Not the car,” I say dropping the sponge back in the bucket and leaning back on the car. Placing my arms across my chest, I try to calm my roaring heart a little.
Cassie’s brows are pinched together as she steps toward me. “Alison across the street is having a party. You should come. Be good to hang out as friends, you know?”
Friends?
I clench my teeth together.
Blinking repeatedly, I dart out my tongue, wetting my suddenly dry lips.
“I, uh, I don’t know. Maybe.” I offer her a small smile. “I have a lot to finish up here.”
“It’s good to finally meet you, Leo,” the brunette adds, offering me her hand. “Sasha. Best friend and super-cool dancing queen. Nice to meet you.”
Cassie laughs before thrusting out her hip, bumping Sasha to the side a little. “There’s only one super-cool dancing queen, and you know that’s me.”
A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth as I watch the pair playfully teasing one another. Despite the happiness I feel watching the pair, I can’t stop the hollow feeling in my stomach. The part of me that misses my old life and the connections I had with my friends.
“We should go now. You should totally come.” Sasha pulls Cassie as they skip and laugh down the driveway until they are completely out of sight.
* * *
After finishing up with the cars, I shower and then crash in my room. My own thoughts of my previous life plague me and I’m going insane. I need to get out of this place.
Maybe the party is just what I need, after all. Get shit-faced and forget, even if it’s only for a few hours.
But I have to avoid Cassie. I’m no good for her and I won’t allow myself to get close to her again.
Grabbing my house keys, I check my reflection in the mir
ror. I run my hands through my messy hair, trying to get it to look less like I just woke up. But it’s no use. I’m going with the messy hair look.
Heading out, I walk toward the house but decide to take the long way around, not wanting to go inside. I take the small, slightly hidden walkway that runs down the side of the house. Once I reach the front, I quickly look back at the house hoping the coast is clear. Making a dash for it, I don’t stop until I reach the road. Pushing my hands in my jeans, I can’t help but inhale some of the evening air. Stupid really, but I feel free, even if it’s just temporary.
Crossing the road, I look for indications of a party. It isn’t long before I see groups of people, the bass of music getting louder as I approach the house. Swallowing my own nerves, I lift my chin and head through the huge gate and toward the house. I notice how a group of girls lean in, heads touching and eyes glancing in my direction.
“Hey,” an unfamiliar voice rumbles from behind me.
Halting, I turn my head until I’m looking over my shoulder.
“Hey.”
“So you, uh, you know Alison?” the girl in the bright pink dress asks, moving until she’s standing beside me.
Shit. What the hell do I say?
“Well, not really? Do you?”
She giggles ridiculously loud, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder.
“No, me either. But that’s kinda reassuring.”
“What is?”
“That we’re not the only ones crashing the party.”
“I have friends inside. I should go.” I point to the house, offering her a flash of a smile.
“Sure, maybe we’ll see you in there. I’m Joanna, by the way.” She offers me her hand.
“Leo,” I reply, shaking her hand loosely.
Heading inside, the music pounds louder, so loud that I can feel the vibration under my feet. I step inside, squeezing past the people hanging out at the door. Internally, I grimace, hoping no one else would notice me.
Bound to Break: Books one in the Bound to series Page 9
