Between the Lines

by Jayne Ann Krentz

  “Amber?” Roarke s voice was low and sexy and intimate. It had always been that way. He’d probably been born with the kind of vocal cords that automatically produced low, sexy, intimate sounds. “It’s been a long time, honey. Too long.”

  “Not long enough, Roarke.” For some reason now that the anticipated moment was finally upon her, Amber felt suddenly more in control. Worrying about a problem was always worse than actually dealing with it. Her fingers tightened around the receiver. She could handle Roarke Kelley. Damn it, she would handle him.

  “You don’t sound surprised to hear from me. Did your sister tell you I was looking for you?”

  “She told me. But I’m not interested in seeing you, Roarke.” Amber hesitated and then stated baldly, “I’m married.”

  “On the rebound, Amber?” he asked softly.

  Amber shut her eyes in silent dismay. Secretly she had been hoping that the word married would act as some sort of talisman to ward off Roarke. She should have known it wouldn’t even slow him down. He’d had more than one affair with a married woman according to the bits and pieces of racetrack gossip she’d garnered during the time she had been involved with him. “No, not on the rebound. What do you want, Roarke?’’

  “To see you.”

  “I don’t see any point in that.”

  “I can come out to his house, if you like. I know where it is, Amber.”

  She caught her breath at the unsubtle threat, and for a moment she panicked. The thought of Gray opening the door to Roarke Kelley shook her. “For God’s sake, Roarke, you can’t come here!”

  “Then meet me for lunch today,” he returned calmly.

  “Why?” she demanded.

  “You want reasons?” he asked with sudden, harsh emotion. “Okay, I’ll give you reasons. For the sake of what we once had. Because we never had a chance to say goodbye properly. Because I nearly bought the farm two months ago down in Florida, and I had a lot of time to think while waiting to see if I was ever going to drive again. I spent that time thinking about us, Amber. You, me and the future.”

  She was appalled. “Roarke, it’s too late.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Don’t you understand? I’m married now. It’s too late for you, me and the future. I think it was always too late for us.”

  “Is that why you jumped into marriage with the first man you found after me? Because you thought it was too late for us?”

  “I didn’t just jump into marriage, damn it. I’ve only been married a couple of weeks. Roarke, this conversation is pointless.”

  “I have to see you, honey. I’ve come too far and waited too long. I have to talk to you face-to-face one last time.”

  “No,” she said with quiet firmness.

  “Then I’ll drive over to his house and see you there. I swear I will, Amber. I can’t leave the state without talking to you. There are too many things I have to say. Things I should have said a long time ago.”

  Frantically Amber tried to think. “If I agree to see you one last time, will you give me your word you’ll leave the area without making trouble, Roarke?”

  “My word of honor.”

  What good had his word of honor ever been, Amber wondered in dismay. She didn’t doubt he was honorable enough in his racing. He was practically a legend in those circles. But Roarke Kelley followed an entirely different code when it came to dealing with personal relationships. Still, perhaps if she saw him face-to-face she could convince him that she wasn’t about to fall back into his palm like a ripe plum. “All right, Roarke. I’ll meet you at noon under the clock in the shopping mall downtown.”

  “I don’t want to meet you in some damn shopping mall.”

  “Why not? It’s as good a meeting place as any other.” She was not about to let him talk her into a rendezvous at some secluded restaurant or at his hotel. There was a certain degree of safety in a crowd. “There are a couple of good places to eat in the mall. I’ll see you in half an hour. Goodbye, Roarke.”

  She hung up the phone before he could argue further. When she lifted her hand from the receiver, she realized her fingers were trembling. Still, she’d managed to fight the first round to a draw. She’d dictated the time and place of the meeting, even though she hadn’t been able to avoid the confrontation itself. Resolutely Amber got to her feet. She could and would dictate the rest of what happened today between herself and Roarke.

  Half an hour later she bravely walked into the crowded mall and headed for-the agreed-upon meeting place. She saw Roarke almost at once. He was waiting for her, and he looked as devastatingly attractive as ever. The scar on his square jaw only added an element of dangerous intrigue to his already rakish persona. His black hair was in its usual endearing tousle. His vivid blue eyes were as riveting as ever. His lean body still moved with a languid, sensual grace. Roarke was dressed in a pair of light-colored pants, a wide leather belt, a T-shirt and a stylish, unconstructed jacket that fairly shouted Southern California machismo. Cynthia had been right. Roarke Kelley was wickedly good-looking. Even as she walked toward him, Amber was aware of other women turning their heads to take a second glance at Roarke. It had always been like that.

  Amber took one look at him now and wondered what on earth she had ever seen in him. Frowning intently she went forward, aware that he was raking her snug, faded jeans and slouchy gold sweater with a deeply interested gaze. She hadn’t bothered to dress for the event, and it showed. Her hair was in the same casual twist she’d had it in all morning. Amber hadn’t even bothered to put on any lipstick. Roarke Kelley was accustomed to having his women look their best.

  “Two weeks of marriage and already you look like Mrs. Average Housewife,” he said bluntly as she came to a halt in front of him.

  Amber took heart. “The operative part of that sentence is ‘wife,’” she told him dryly. “Remember it.”

  “If you’d married me, you’d still be on your honeymoon,” he said deliberately.

  “Where? At a motel near some racetrack? Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t know what you hoped to accomplish by insisting on this meeting, Roarke.”

  He stepped closer, his whole attention focused on her in that way he had that made a woman feel as though she were the only female in the universe. It was a special knack Roarke Kelley had. Women fell for it in droves, and Amber had been no exception at first. The lure of believing she was the one woman in the world who had the power to capture and reform the rake had trapped more than one intelligent woman. “Let’s go someplace where we can have lunch.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “A cup of coffee then. Come on, Amber. I’ve come a long way to find you. I want to talk.”

  Amber groaned and swung around, heading for the nearest café. The place she chose featured buffet-style service. It was very busy and offered almost no intimacy. Roarke followed without a word, seating himself across from her with a cup of coffee. He was smiling knowingly as he looked into her eyes.

  “You’re afraid, aren’t you?”

  Of what?”

  “Of me. Of what will happen if you let yourself get too close to me again.”

  Amber didn’t touch her coffee. She put both hands on the table and said in a low, cool tone, “Roarke, I want you to understand something. I’m going to spell this out as clearly as possible and when I’m finished I’m going to say goodbye. I’m married to a wonderful man, and I am totally committed to that marriage. Whatever you and I had between us is in the past and it’s going to stay there. I don’t know why you’ve come looking for me. You don’t need or want me.”

  “That’s not true, Amber. The accident made me realize that I do need and want you. It made me put my whole life into perspective. I was a fool to let you go six months ago. I want you back.”

  She shook her head slowly. “That’s not possible, Roarke.”

  “Anything’s possible.”


  She drew a deep breath. “You swore you would leave me alone if I agreed to see you today. I’m going to hold you to your word of honor, Roarke.” Deliberately she emphasized honor.

  He ignored it. “Are you happy, Amber?”

  She flinched, remembering how Gray had asked her that very question just last night. “I don’t see that it’s any concern of yours, but yes, I’m happy. I’m quite content with my marriage, Roarke. You won’t be able to lure me away from my husband.”

  “Content? That’s not much of a word, is it?” he observed thoughtfully.

  Quite suddenly Amber remembered how she’d felt playing bodyguard that night out on the desert. She’d known then that the only way to make the bluff work was to act very cool, very tough and very much in charge. Dealing with Roarke would require exactly the same facade. It was time to take the offensive.

  “Do you want to hear just how content I am?” she asked with cold challenge. “I’ll try to put this in words even you can understand. My husband is a strong man while you’re weak in ways you don’t even know about. You’re bright and flashy, but my husband has a kind of emotional stamina and staying power you won’t ever have. Your private, male code of honor is good on the racetrack, but you don’t apply it anywhere else, therefore it’s pretty useless. I have no respect for it. On the other hand, I could take my husband’s sense of honor to the bank and use it for collateral on a loan. It’s solid gold. You’re physically attractive, but Gray is the kind of lover most women would kill for. Have I made myself clear? I am very, very content with my marriage. In fact, I will do whatever I have to do in order to protect it.” Amber got to her feet. “Remember that, Roarke. Stay away from me.”

  She saw the dawning anger in his eyes, but she didn’t wait for a response. Amber headed for the door without a backward glance. She’d used all the ammunition she had at her disposal and she could only pray it would be enough to make Roarke consign her to oblivion and go on to his next conquest.

  The odds were in her favor, she argued valiantly as she climbed into her small compact and drove out of the parking lot. Kelley’s ego was his vulnerable point. She’d compared him to another man and found him severely lacking in all areas. With any luck he would believe that she had absolutely no intention of letting herself be seduced away from her husband. If he didn’t choose to believe her, then she would have to fight that battle later. Today she had done all that she could. It was a waiting game now.

  But the fierce bravado that had fueled her resolve up until that point faltered badly as she pulled into the driveway of her new home and saw Gray’s Mercedes already parked ahead of her.

  Gray was home early.

  For an instant Amber froze behind the wheel. She managed to turn off the ignition and set the brake, but she couldn’t seem to find the courage to open the car door. He was bound to ask her where she’d been. The thought of having to make up excuses for her absence was enough to make her want to turn around and drive back to the mall.

  She could say she had been shopping. But she hadn’t bought anything. And it would be a lie. She had promised Gray that, while she might not answer all his questions, she would never lie to him. It was only fair, she knew, because Gray would never lie to her. Frantically she tried to put together some kind of coherent answer that would satisfy his natural queries without forcing her to tell the truth or a lie. Both seemed equally bad alternatives at the moment.

  It occurred to Amber that trying to handle Roarke Kelley on her own might have been a very big mistake.

  Even as that thought flashed into her brain, she saw the front door open. Gray stepped out and walked toward the car. She knew as soon as she saw the calm, intent, implacable expression on his face that she wasn’t going to get out of this with a slick answer that gave nothing away. She’d seen this particular look on his face before, usually when he was dealing with a nasty business problem.

  Amber sucked in her breath and finally found the strength to open the car door. If she’d been in a more cheerful state of mind, she might have discovered the whole situation reminded her of a Twitchell poem—something about gunslingers confronting each other on an empty street and knowing that only one would survive.

  8

  “My meeting with Harrison was canceled.” Gray offered the explanation for his unexpected return without any preamble. It was obvious he expected the same from her. He kissed Amber briefly, not seeming to notice her tense response.

  “I see.” Amber couldn’t think of anything else to say as she walked back toward the house with him.

  “I didn’t know you had plans to go out this afternoon.”

  This was the point where she should just casually say she had decided to go shopping on the spur of the moment. Amber mentally tried the words out in two or three different variations and finally abandoned the whole idea of trying to finesse the situation. Gray was not the sort of man you finessed. “I hadn’t planned to go out. Something came up.” She jammed her hands into her pockets and stalked into the house. Behind her she heard the door close with a sound of soft finality.

  “You’re upset,” Gray said quietly.

  Amber kept moving across the room until she was standing in front of the window. “Well?” she challenged, staring out at the lake. “Aren’t you going to interrogate me? Ask me where I’ve been? What I’ve been doing?”

  “Should I?”

  She didn’t hear him move, but his voice came from directly behind her. Amber could feel the solidity of him. It enveloped her and dominated the room. Her brief flare of defiance faded. Wryly she asked, “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to assume I’ve just been out shopping and let things go at that, would you?”

  “Have you been out shopping?”

  “No.”

  “Then maybe you’d better tell me what you have been doing,” Gray suggested calmly.

  Nervously Amber yanked her hands out of her pockets and crossed her arms under her breasts. “Are you going to be that kind of husband, Gray?”

  “What kind?”

  “The sort who feels he has to keep track of every move his wife makes. Who grills her every time she leaves the house without permission. Who demands explanations for even the briefest absences.”

  A thread of amusement was laced through his words when he answered her. “I’ll admit I’m possessive, but I’m not crazy. I think you know that, Amber. If I’m asking for some answers today, it’s because I know something’s wrong. It’s been wrong since last night when you and your sister had that little chat outside by the car.”

  Amber sighed and surrendered to the inevitable. She turned around to meet his intent, waiting gaze. “I’m sorry, Gray. I wanted to keep you out of this.”

  “What is ‘this’?”

  “Old business,” she told him with a grimace. “Embarrassing old business. I thought I could handle it on my own and with any luck I have.”

  “That’s what you were doing today? Handling it on your own?”

  She nodded and sank into a nearby chair. Stretching her jeaned legs out in front of her, she rested her arms along the sides of the chair and leaned her head back against the cushion. Morosely she looked up at Gray. “You asked me once what had happened in Southern California.”

  “And you didn’t answer.” He paced slowly across the room and took a chair by the window. Gray appeared totally relaxed, but there was a hard gleam in his eyes.

  “I didn’t answer because it was my past, and as far as I was concerned it didn’t affect us.”

  “Now it does?”

  She exhaled slowly, trying to find the words. “No. I think I’ve handled it. But I obviously didn’t manage to handle it quietly enough to keep you from worrying, did I?”

  “I’d worry about anything that upset you as much as this business seems to have done.”

  She smiled gently. “Thank you, Gray.”

/>   “Don’t thank me. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  Amber nodded. “It’s not very complicated really. As you’ve guessed, I was involved with a man down in Southern California. I thought I was irrevocably in love with him. He was a race car driver, and the ad firm for which I worked had some contracts with him. He did various promotions for one of our clients. I got the account and therefore wound up working with Roarke Kelley.”

  Gray lifted one brow thoughtfully. “I’ve heard of him.”

  “You’ve probably seen him on TV advertising motor oil,” Amber said grimly. “That man can sure sell motor oil. Or anything else, for that matter.”

  “Including himself?”

  Amber frowned. “It doesn’t matter. The upshot of the whole deal is that our relationship was traumatic, exciting, eventful and rather brief. It left me feeling as though I’d been through an emotional wringer. When it was over I knew I had to get as far away as possible. I quit my job and came here to Washington to look for a new one. I decided to take some temporary secretary assignments to make ends meet until I lined up something else. Then you hired me, and you know the rest. “Uh-huh.” Gray sounded remarkably noncommittal.

  “Everything seemed to be working out just fine until last night when my sister told me Roarke was in town looking for me. It seems he was in an accident a couple of months ago and has had some time to think while recovering. He told Cynthia he wanted to see me again. She informed him I was married and wouldn’t give him my new address, but she was afraid he’d discover it on his own, which he did. This morning he phoned and demanded to meet me. Said he’d show up on my doorstep if I didn’t agree to see him one last time. He gave me his word that if I would just meet him and assure him that there was no hope for him and me and that I hadn’t married you on the rebound, he would get back out of my life.”

  “What’s his word worth, Amber?”

  Amber’s back teeth closed together as a brief flare of annoyance interfered with her noble determination to make a clean breast of the situation. She didn’t care for the new tone in Gray’s voice. “In point of fact, I don’t think Roarke’s word is worth much off the track. But I also know he has a rather massive ego. I made it very clear I wasn’t interested in resuming our old relationship and that I was quite content with my marriage.”