Dungeons and Noobs

by Ryan Rimmel

  “Bigger?” I asked.

  “Looks like that side has some structural damage,” added Shart. “These old dungeons tend to grow and shrink over time. This one got a bunch longer on that side.”

  “Did you see a mechanism for opening the door?” I asked.

  There was a loud click and a small, concealed doorway opened up. I pushed it aside and turned back to yell for SueLeeta, forgetting about the mental communication for an instant. I needn't have bothered. She was already past the dais and walking carefully toward me, avoiding the non-rock spots on the floor.

  “Easy peasy,” I said, grinning.

  That’s when Dalton walked by and snatched the idol. “Hey, Jim, you forgot to pick up the treasure.”

  “I left it because it was a trap,” I groaned. Sir Dalton’s eyes went wide, as everyone around him took a step away from him.

  “Why didn’t you warn me?” he bellowed.

  “I shouldn’t have to warn you about obvious traps,” I called back. The floor began to shake.

  “Boulder,” yelled SueLeeta and gestured up to the track in the ceiling. Her eyes went wide as the massive stone began rolling toward her. “How did you know it was a boulder, Jim?”

  Everyone saw the massive boulder at the same moment. Since everyone was past the halfway mark, they started running toward my small doorway. I unceremoniously dove through. I didn’t have any other options.

  “Jim, the door,” yelled Shart, and I looked over the chasm. There was another doorway that was rapidly closing. I didn’t have any time to waste, so I leapt over the twenty log-wide chasm and landed on the other side before rolling into place underneath the collapsing doorway.

  I put my back into it, and the door stopped closing.

  Glorious Robert and Bashara cleared the door first, both spotting the chasm and leaping over it. It was then that I realized a problem. If I moved, the door would shut, but Jarra couldn’t make the jump. She stepped out next, pausing for an instant. She handed something small over to Zorlando. Both drank wherever she had before they both ran to the edge and leapt. Fenris brought up the rear, but not before allowing Badgelor to attach himself to the Warden’s back.

  Both easily cleared the gap, landing next to me. Zorlando tossed his empty potion vial and Jarra caught it neatly. She thrust both vials back into her pouch of empties. Then, they both crawled under me, as I attempted to hold the door.

  SueLeeta was over next, then Sir Dalton, who handed me the idol as he landed. “Sorry.” I managed to pull myself free just before the weight of the entire dungeon threatened to crush my spine. As I got to the other side of the door, I heard a solid thud as the boulder slammed into the now closed doorway.

  ● Gullible Monkey's head: Value 5000 GP.

  “It's not even valuable, just expensive,” I groaned, throwing it into my expanded extradimensional storage. I began stretching, listening to my vertebrae pop back into their sockets. Badgelor took that moment to scurry up to his normal spot on my shoulder, having been inconvenienced by me holding the door.

  “You could have helped,” I grumbled.

  “You got this! I believe in you, or some such,” mumbled the badger, who curled into a ball and went back to sleep.

  Chapter 31: The Dark Altar

  “Okay, finally, I think we found the treasure,” said SueLeeta. She wore a stern expression, as we both sat back down with the group.

  After the journey so far, we had decided to take a break before the next chamber. That would give Jarra the opportunity to tend to a few wounds, and everyone could get a bite to eat. I hadn’t anticipated how taxing traveling through a dungeon could be.

  The buzz of threats around at all times was really draining. Finding a spot where you might be safe was worth taking a break at. We had found an indentation in one of the passage walls with a small fire pit in the middle. We were using that now to warm our food. Dalton was leaning back against a rock and snoring slightly. I kicked his boot as I walked past, and he snorted himself awake.

  SueLeeta sat down and brought up the party map, which sprang to life in front of her. Only we party members could actually see it, though, as it was tied to her role as scout. The room was large and somewhat rectangular, but it had literally cracked in two, with us on the larger side.

  “This room must be where the floor boss is,” stated Bashara with confidence. Zorlando steeled himself, as Jarra hammered into his armored shoulder several times. A large ping sounded, and the armor seemed to magically repair itself.

  We were looking rather miserable, all things said and done. It had been a rough slog getting here. While none of the encounters after the first room had been nearly as challenging, there had been many. Sir Dalton and Glorious Robert had both taken good hits. Fenris had been tanking, and, if we hadn’t found a better shield in the last chamber, he would have been without one at all. His old shield had shattered mid-battle with the Drak-ish.

  Bashara’s robe had a huge, bloody gash along one side. SueLeeta had been knocked senseless, and even Jarra had been injured. Thankfully, the healer’s wounds weren’t severe. She had just been slapped around a bit while covering SueLeeta.

  On the other hand, Badgelor and I were still entirely intact. Nothing like fighting for your life to get your act together, I supposed.

  “Some of us are for more than looking pretty, Jim,” chuckled Glorious Robert, as he saw me examine the party. “You are a good kite, but you tend to stay out of danger.”

  Most of my action had occurred away from the party. That had led to some grumbling that I wasn’t holding my weight as much as the others.

  “The monsters all seem to be located on the far side. They are praying around some sort of dark altar. I think the actual floor boss is at the front of the group, leading the prayer,” stated SueLeeta.

  “That altar is where the treasure is,” I said confidently. My Explorer’s Nose was going wild with the smell of treasure. Everything we had found so far was little more than trinkets compared to what was going to be in that chest.

  Bashara nodded and continued looking at the map. “Whatever he is chanting is causing a large amount of Shadow to accumulate in the room.”

  “Shadow?” asked Sir Dalton. “I thought it was just dark in there.”

  Bashara groaned. “Shadow magic! He’s generating Shadow magic. It's another advanced magic type. There is a field of it in there. That’s why her other stupid pet died.”

  Sir Dalton glanced around and then nodded. “I was just clarifying to make sure everyone else understood.”

  SueLeeta grinned to herself before quickly masking it. She made her face expressionless, as she got back down to business. “The only strange thing I found was a large number of goblin tracks moving through the crack.”

  “How did they get in here?” asked Fenris. “Do you think there is a pocket of them in one of the chambers?”

  “I doubt it,” said SueLeeta. “When I was probing around, I found some discarded foodstuffs that included materials from the valley. They were migrating through here.”

  “The Altar of Shadows,” I said, gesturing. “Maybe where they were turning goblins into Shadow Goblins.”

  Everyone turned to face Bashara, who looked thoughtful. “I could see that. Yes, it’s at least possible. They would have had to sacrifice at least one goblin to empower the Shadow Goblin, though.”

  “They did mention heavy casualties during the process to create Shadow Goblins,” I said, trying to remember the exact conversation. “I believe they also said they couldn’t bring Wargs down here.” The crack ran from floor to ceiling and seemed to have pulled the room apart. It was possible to climb, if one really had the desire to do so, but I couldn’t see Kappa pulling it off. He also wasn’t stupid enough to trust a bunch of goblins to lower him down, either.

  “Can you see the bottom?” asked Fenris. SueLeeta concentrated for a moment before shaking her head. She was now level 17. For her new perk, she had chosen something that let her see through the e
yes of her hunting companion.

  “No, Bait can’t see the bottom,” she stated, pointing to where her newest hunting pet was located. This one was a large rat named Bait. I had initially questioned her choice of a rat, but a hawk, a large hound, or a massive hunting cat were all far more obvious than the little rodent. Bait had been noticed by at least some of the undead around the altar, but they hadn’t reacted to him. That was even better than my Hide in Plain Sight perk, as far as I was concerned. No one and nothing that mattered was exposed to any danger.

  “Probably dispose of the corpses down there,” stated Glorious Robert. “Have Bait knock a rock down. See if he can hear it land.”

  After thirty seconds passed, SueLeeta just shrugged. “It's deep.”

  “Okay, so we can’t get a solid reading on the Shadow Priest through your rat,” I said, checking off points. “We know there is treasure there, though. We also know that us just sneaking around to get a better look will likely get us spotted through the Shadow magic field in the room.”

  “If Bait hasn’t died yet, I’ve got a potion for everyone that should work. It will prevent the Shadow field from slowly killing us,” stated Jarra the Healer. Her portable alchemy station finished its work, spitting out eight doses of some sort of shadow resistance potion.

  “One second, the potion is starting to wear out,” said SueLeeta, concentrating. “The hole is at least 300 feet deep, and I still couldn’t see the bottom.” She began summoning another pet, as I quietly mourned Bait. Your sacrifice was not in vain, furry missile.

  “Well, how do we get over it?” I asked, surveying the room. There were some short columns on our side of the crack, but the crack was over fifteen logs wide. None of the columns on this side looked like they were in very good condition, unlike the two massive pillars on the other side of the crack.

  “Could we knock down one of the big pillars?” asked Fenris, gesturing across the chasm.

  I activated my Improvised Tools and looked at the pillar. It's durability was low enough that we might be able to do something. “We’d have to use Explosive Damage.”

  “I could do a Multi Shot combined with Explosive Shot at it and then guzzle a Stamina potion,” stated SueLeeta. “Any idea where I should shoot it?”

  Triggering my Engineering skill, I examined both pillars. The pillar on the right had a fairly decent point on it. It would probably be able to span the distance between both sides of the crack. The pillar on the left was in much better shape, but, if enough Damage was applied at the right spot, it might also fall onto the correct path. I shared the weak points with the party.

  “Engineering, too?” asked Bashara, eyeing me critically. “We are going to have to have a long talk when this is over.”

  Glorious Robert coughed and gestured toward the room. “So, the treasure is in there. All we have to do is run across a stone pillar to get at it?”

  “Not quite,” stated Bashara. “The Shadow Priest over there is going to stop us, if we aren’t prepared.”

  “I think I can face him in battle, Lady Bashara,” stated Sir Dalton affronted.

  “No, I don’t think you could. He will have enough magic ready to just push you off the pillar,” she said confidently. “It would be simple enough, and it's what I would do.”

  “That would be dishonorable,” retorted the Knight.

  “He’s actively consorting with powers that want to corrupt the world. I don’t think honor is high on his list of priorities,” she replied. Sir Dalton opened his mouth to respond, but even his limited intellect was able to see the issue.

  “Not all of us need to use the pillar to get over,” I said, looking around. “I can get across without it. Anyone else?”

  Fenris shook his head, “Jim, that’s at least fifteen logs. Even if I could make it, I’d be blown out on Stamina when I got there.” Several other party members nodded, including SueLeeta.

  “I don’t think I can manage it, Jim,” the Hunter said, thinking. “I might attempt to make the jump, if it was a matter of life or death, but it's just on the edge of what I can do,” she stated. “Besides, I’m ranged support. You really need a caster.”

  Bashara looked at the altar on the map for a long moment. “Yes, well, I’m a caster, and I can make the jump. I’ll go over with Jim, and he can cover me while I stall the Shadow Priest.”

  “Any chance you can take him?” asked Fenris. He asked it in a matter-of-fact manner that turned the statement into a simple question, not a challenge.

  Bashara turned to examine him for a moment, then shook her head. “No, all I will be doing is delaying him while you guys cross the bridge. The more of those undead minions you can take out, the better.”

  “I was asking Jim,” said Fenris diplomatically, causing Bashara’s eyes to widen.

  “Unknown, I haven’t had to engage that powerful of a magical opponent before. Last time, I did manage to beat a wizard that was supposed to be considerably stronger than myself,” I said, as Bashara choked. She inhaled sharply.

  “I believe the last several times we got into magical duels, I was able to whip you rather soundly,” she said acidly.

  “You think I’d fight with only magic now?” I asked. The fire behind her eyes faded for a moment, as she considered that. She opened and shut her mouth, then nodded.

  “Any tricks with the party menu?” asked SueLeeta. I pondered it. Reviewing the party menu, I saw we had earned a few more Party Points. A quick examination of the Undead Fighting tree and the Shadow Resistant tree showed that those options were out of my price range. I did see a few party roles, though, such as Striker and Tank.

  Strikers were damage dealers and Tanks were tanks. I considered both options briefly. Making Sir Dalton or Glorious Robert a Striker would increase their Damage output, while making Fenris a Tank would boost his survivability. Considering AvaSophia, I decided to make Fenris the Tank. He was already in the thick of it. Making him harder to kill would mean more monsters spending more time trying to do just that.

  As I unlocked the Tank role, I noticed a new role pop up. I could get around level restrictions with Unbound, but many of the party perks were blocked by more than level requirements.

  ● Champion: You will stand in front of your companions. You are superior in all ways! Bonus to Damage, Defense, Resistance and skills. Enemies are far more likely to target you when they attack.

  That one was obvious. It was designed for a higher-level character that wanted to run with a lower-level party. It gave a person lots of bonuses but also put a huge target on their back. I thought about it for a moment before moving on. I didn’t have the points, anyway.

  Fenris was balling his fists. “I feel great! I’m honored that you have chosen to give me the role of Tank.”

  “I'm curious as to why you don’t have more roles unlocked,” stated Sir Dalton.

  “I don’t party much,” I said. It was true, at least.

  Glorious Robert just nodded. “Well, we should be unlocking roles left and right. Put me in for a Striker or a Second Tank, when you unlock one of them.”

  I nodded. “Are we ready, then?”

  Sir Dalton stood up, his massive sword propped on his shoulder. He took a handful of potions from Jarra. Grinning wildly, he exclaimed, “This will be amazing!”

  “I, Zorlando, will fight in a battle as if an adventurer,” professed Zorlando, also taking a handful of potions.

  “I have toys for you,” I said, handing out a Thingamabob to each party member. “They explode.” Glorious Robert eyed his carefully and then slipped it into his dimensional storage. Sir Dalton pulled out a length of cord and tied it around his sword guard, just low enough that using the blade might not set it off.

  There were no more declarations, as the rest of the group got ready to move. Jarra handed me three vials. She was wearing an expression somewhere between her hard look and something slightly more mischievous. “I made these extra strong for you.”

  Glancing around, I saw Sir Dalto
n drinking one of his. I popped the corks and grinned at her. “Bottoms up.” To Jarra’s horror, I drank all three at once. They hit me like a sledgehammer.

  ● You have learned about the skill, Potion Miscibility. You are unskilled. There is a special skill to be this stupid.

  ● Potion Miscibility check: successful. You have suffered a 10% temporary Hit Point reduction for the next 4 hours from imbibing 3 potions at once. You have gained +25% on all potion effects for the next 10 minutes.

  “Are you crazy?” gasped Jarra, as I shook off the wave of nausea. “You can’t drink three buff potions at once! You have to spread them out.”

  “Noted,” I stated, feeling all the effects wash over me.

  ● Potion of Shadow Resistance: You will ignore the first 13 (base 10) points of Shadow Damage from any attack for 30 minutes.

  ● Potion of Enhanced Combat Power: Your primary combat attribute is increased by one level. Your primary combat attribute is Strength, Spirit, Dexterity, Endurance, Willpower. +1.25 to all attributes for the next 10 minutes.

  ● Potion of Boundless Stamina: Plus 125 (base 100) Stamina for 20 minutes.

  I felt incredible. It was like every fiber of my being was doused in power! Every bit of me bathed in radiance and was forged, anew. Nothing would stand against me!

  I felt like I was going to throw up. Whatever I’d drank was mixing about as well as pudding and vodka.

  “You moron,” said Shart.

  “Shut up, it was a great plan,” I retorted mentally. Opening my mouth was absolutely out of the question.

  We all filed into the room as quietly as possible. The shadow field, along with the accompanying chanting, would have revealed our presence by causing direct Damage. As we were currently resistant to that Damage, we were able to creep, untroubled, into our starting positions on our side of the chasm.

  “We can go as soon as you are ready,” stated Bashara, smiling at me nervously.