Dungeons and Noobs

by Ryan Rimmel

  “Thanks,” I said, not wanting to brag about all of my abilities to Grebthar, of all people. Plus, Shart had told me to keep that close to the chest. Since he was gone, I’d let Grebthar figure it out on his own.

  Grebthar waved dismissively and went over to the rune stones and started fiddling with them. I started to walk over, but my foot kicked into something that was pure black.

  ● Dagger of Human Slaying: If a human is struck in the heart by this dagger, it will instantly cause final death.

  It was Bashara’s dagger for killing Grebthar. I quietly pocketed it inside my extradimensional space. I didn’t want Grebthar finding out how close she’d come to actually killing him.

  The mighty hero had partially removed his death shroud and wrapped it around his neck like a cape. On anyone else, it would have looked ridiculous. On him, it looked like what a hero would wear.

  “I need a weapon,” announced Grebthar, as he looked over at my longsword. I didn’t know where the Man-Slayer weapon had gone. Glancing toward the star field it had flown toward, I got the solid impression that I wasn’t going to be finding it anytime soon. I didn’t necessarily want to tell Grebthar that I needed his help looking for a weapon specifically designed to cause terrible injuries to traitorous Wizards.

  “Take it. I have a spare,” I said, pulling out my old Soldier’s Longsword from my storage. Grebthar nodded and picked it up. He glanced down the blade and nearly vanished, before appearing next to me. My own sword slashed toward my neck.

  ● You have successfully parried an attack.

  I stared, wide-eyed, at Ordinal’s greatest hero. He looked at me with an inquisitive expression. “There is no way you are a third level Sorcerer. Care to be honest with me?”

  ● You have fully resisted a mental attack check. Critical success! The caster is unaware you resisted his check.

  “I’ve really got 14 levels in Mage Knight,” I said sheepishly. Grebthar grinned.

  “That wasn’t hard, chum!” he said, slapping me on the back. “I was just testing you. Can’t be too careful, you know. The Dark Overlord has minions everywhere.”

  Well, Grebthar had seen through my initial omission in about ten seconds flat, if that. He quickly used some of the linen of his death shroud to make a sheath and pointed toward the door.

  “Let us depart this place. You look depressed. Was your party killed, or did you become separated?” he asked.

  “I was separated,” I returned and started to follow him.

  “Let me tell you a tale of my adventures. I once got separated from my party,” began Grebthar. By the end of his tale, I had to admit, I did feel better.

  Chapter 42: Return of the King

  We began going through the tunnel toward where Grebthar knew the exit to be. He told stories and laughed at my jokes. He was just about everything you could expect from some sort of hero of legends.

  The first several chambers we entered were empty, but the third had a dozen insect-like humanoids. They were all carrying raw ore into an opening on the far wall. The exit we needed was about half-way down the opposite wall. If we were crafty, we could probably avoid all the monsters.

  “Ah, Insectoids,” stated Grebthar. “I fought their kind many times.”

  “Couldn’t we avoid them?” I asked, trying to pick a path through the cavern.

  “What, and leave them alive, so they can come at us from behind?” scoffed Grebthar. “Think of the Experience Points!”

  Before I could protest again, Grebthar tore out of the hallway. He ran toward them in a low crouch, makeshift cape billowing behind him. He got about half-way across the room, before the first Insectoid spotted him. The creature raised a crossbow to fire and promptly exploded.

  The other Insectoid guard pulled a horn to his lips and started to blow. He, too, exploded. All the Insectoid civilians that were gathering stuff were also systematically blown up. Then, just for good measure, Grebthar threw a Fireball into the tunnel the Insectoids were using.

  There was a clicking sound and, suddenly, a dozen much larger Insectoids ran out. Each was armed with much better gear than the initial guards. They took turns exploding, too. Their tunnel collapsed, as Grebthar continued casting spells down it.

  I drew my crossbow and was looking around for targets, when one of the Insectoids that I missed stood up behind Grebthar. The creature was wielding a wicked looking sword. Grebthar seemed to blur, and the creature fell into quarters.

  Stepping out of the cave, I yelled, “You think you got all of them?”

  “Of course,” he said with a grin. “I suppose I’ve had enough fun and games. Let's go.”

  As we walked through the chamber, the Insectoid base on the far end started to collapse. “At least you live up to the hype,” I commented

  “Ha! Actually, I was channeling a bit of Badgelor back there. He always was the violent one,” stated Grebthar.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “I think all War Badgers are like that, though. The least aggressive of them are quite angry all the time,” stated Grebthar. “It's a fascinating language, if you ever care to learn it.”

  “I speak War Badger,” I replied.

  “Will wonders never cease?” grinned Grebthar. “Well, let me warn you, they often sound like they are being polite. Don't trust it. They are all ornery.”

  “Actually, I had a War Badger companion,” I started, watching Grebthar give me an appraising look. “Oddly enough, mine was named Badgelor.”

  “Ha,” he laughed again. “They are still doing that? It always upset Badgelor when I rode him into a new town, and there were two or three other Badgelors walking around.”

  “You rode him into town?” I asked. Badgelor had never wanted me to ride him, and he’d certainly never suggested that I do it when going into town.

  “Of course, that’s how they knew I was Grebthar, after all,” smiled Grebthar. “Only Great Champions were allowed to ride War Badgers.”

  “Mine let a Wizard ride on him once,” I said.

  “So, he was able to achieve true War Form,” stated Grebthar, rounding on me. “That is an impressive trick.”

  “He was quite proud of it,” I replied.

  Grebthar seemed to consider that for a moment. “Well, enough talk about dead companions. Have people finally forgotten me?”

  “We just had Grebthar Day,” I said. Grebthar once again stopped walking.

  “I was hoping that would have fallen out of favor by now,” said Grebthar, before he resumed walking. “I was never fond of the holiday myself, despite the need.”

  “The need?” I asked.

  “You haven’t gotten a Path yet, have you?” asked Grebthar, eyeing me. “I shall let you in on a secret. I am a Godling. My Path requires me to have a certain number of followers worshipping me. Otherwise, my Path will not advance. I find the notion distasteful, but it's laid out for me in black and white.”

  “I thought Godling was the most powerful class,” I said. I remembered the brief moment I could have selected the Godling class, before Shart destroyed that statue.

  Grebthar looked at me. “There are a lot of strings with that class. I require followers and can hear all of their prayers, even when I rest. No one prays for important things, either. It’s always “Let this team win this game.’ or ‘Let me find money in the street.’ It lays bare the human condition in a way I was never comfortable with. I truly had no desire to take the class, but fate thrust it upon me.”

  I hadn’t thought about that. The Godling class was powerful, but it also looked like it came with its fair share of downsides.

  “A Godling has to have followers?” I asked. “What happens if you don’t?”

  “If you don’t have any followers, you will die. From what I have gathered, it happens pretty much instantly,” answered Grebthar. “That’s why it's the last class you can choose. If you chose it right away and no one knew you, you would perish as soon as you got to Ordinal.”

  I swallowed hard
. I’d had the opportunity to choose that class, but hadn’t managed it. Now I realized that if I had, I wouldn’t have had the slightest idea of how to attract followers. I would have died.

  We entered into another massive cavern, this one with a lava floor. A walking path seemed cut into the side of the far wall. Grebthar grew quiet as we continued on our way. He seemed to be considering something but not really making up his mind. As we walked, we came across a point where the path had cracked. There was a ten log gap between the two sides. Grebthar simply vanished from our side and materialized on the other in motes of Shadow. I jumped and landed next to him.

  He paused, turning to face me. He watched me for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed. Then the smile returned. “For a Mage Knight, you are pretty mobile.”

  “I try,” I said, thinking for a moment. Grebthar looked conflicted. “It's not like I can teleport like you can,” I added. I wasn’t even aware of Teleportation magic. If a spell existed, I imagined it would be something like Shadow Step. I knew goblins had a Shadow Dodge, and Grebthar’s effect seemed similar enough.

  “So, I’m guessing you are magically focused?” I chanced, hoping to get Grebthar talking about himself some more. That was far better than him scrutinizing me. Fortunately, he seemed excited for more self-aggrandizement.

  “Yes, I obviously have great skill with melee weapons and the like, but my current build is based around being a God of Magic,” stated Grebthar. He held up both hands, showing me ten different runes, one at the tip of each of his fingers and thumbs.

  I had similar runes, but they only showed when I was actually casting a spell. My runes looked quite a bit more basic, though, and not focused. Activating my Arcane Vision, I glanced at my fingertips and pushed a small amount of Mana into my hand. My runes became brighter but reflected the kind of Mana I was using. I fed Fire Mana into them, and they looked like fire. Grebthar’s were permanent and of a variety of different elemental types.

  “Those look different,” I said. “How do they work?”

  Grebthar open and shut his hands for a moment, then held up his left pointer finger. It had a Fire rune emblazoned on it. “This is an advanced Fire rune. It allows me to cast Fire magic at increased efficiency.”

  I considered that. Having an improved casting rune on each finger would be helpful, but it did force you to always cast your spells the same way. Then again, I typically cast almost all of my spells the same way, over and over again. It's not like that would be a major issue for me. I puzzled as we moved along, until Grebthar got tired of me not paying attention to him.

  “Jim, let me ask you a question,” said Grebthar, as he walked closer to me. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Doing what?” I replied.

  “This,” he waved his hands around, “Going into dungeons, risking your life. To be frank, you don’t seem to have the kind of mettle required for this sort of task.”

  “Saved you, didn’t I?” I said, a bit peeved.

  Grebthar rolled his eyes. “I doubt you seriously expected to find me. I’m not sure how you managed to save me, either. Dumb luck?” he asked.

  “No, I recognized a puzzle,” I said, miffed.

  Grebthar looked down. “Well, thank you for saving me, then.” That seemed genuine, which made me uncomfortable.

  Looking to change the subject, I asked, “Aside from those Insectoids, we haven’t encountered any monsters down here. Any idea why?”

  “I’m Grebthar,” replied Grebthar with a grin. “Jim, I’m level 60. It says so right here on my character sheet. . .“ Grebthar stopped abruptly and looked back at me. “Well, I was level 60. Did you know your resurrection spell drops people to half level and gives them a substantial resurrection debuff?”

  “No, I didn’t,” I replied honestly. Grebthar watched me carefully.

  “Well, it’s only 30 levels. No issue for me, the mighty Grebthar,” stated Grebthar, as he picked up his pace a bit. “To continue, even at my presently diminished capacity, I’m still massively more powerful than anything in this dungeon.”

  “You’ll get stronger,” I chuckled.

  “I’m probably riding at about a quarter of my usual combat power, maybe less,” said Grebthar gravely. “The mountains tremble before the might of Grebthar, etcetera, etcetera.”

  “What if the Dark Overlord tries to get you?” I asked. “Aren’t you worried?”

  “I seriously doubt that will be a concern,” stated Grebthar knowingly.

  I wondered about that and seriously missed Shart’s advice at the moment. Hell, I missed Badgelor’s advice, even if his answer was just straight violence. I knew the town interface worked from down here, in a limited capacity. However, we were also in an extradimensional space of some sort. Maybe the Dark Overlord couldn’t detect Grebthar, until he went back to Ordinal. Maybe it was just harder to sense Grebthar in general.

  “What was it like?” I finally asked, as we turned a corner into another empty chamber.

  “What was what like?” smiled Grebthar.

  “Fighting the Dark Overlord,” I clarified.

  “Repetitive,” said Grebthar. “I fought the Dark Overlord fifteen times, I think. It all kind of blurs together after 400 years.” The idea of fighting the same battle, time and time again, for centuries was enough to sour anyone’s stomach.

  “How did you manage?” I asked.

  “Every man has a reserve of strength deep down, Chum, and a reason to fight. I had to save everyone. I am Grebthar the Grebtharian, after all,” stated Grebthar.

  “I thought you were Grebthar the Destroyer,” I replied. Grebthar turned to look at me for a moment.

  “That’s new,” replied Grebthar wistfully. “So, what are you going to do now that you’ve resolved your quest to find me?”

  “I don’t know,” I replied, not quite honestly. I didn’t have a quest to find him. At the same time, he would have assumed such a quest was the reason I’d gone down into his chamber. It was a logical assumption. “I’ve been preparing to fight the Dark Overlord ever since I was level 1. Now, I don’t know. Maybe settle down?”

  “Is there a girl?” chuckled Grebthar.

  I thought about that for a long moment. “Yes, I guess there is.”

  “Don’t guess with women. They hate that,” replied Grebthar. “Be honest with them and with yourself. It will go much easier.”

  As we carried on, I considered that. There were two big reasons I had not gone after Jarra. The first was that I had died less than two months ago, and I just hadn’t been ready to do anything like date. Now, I was more accepting of the fact that I had died. I had taken time to process my death. I understood that I wasn’t ever going to get back to Earth.

  The second reason was that, since I’d lacked a purpose, I’d kind of latched onto the idea of fighting the Dark Overlord. I figured that was probably suicidal, and getting Jarra involved was something she didn't deserve. I wanted her to be happy. If we were together, and I died, she wouldn’t be. She seemed like the vengeful sort, and I didn’t like the idea of her entire existence being defined by a need to avenge me.

  Now, neither of my hang ups really applied anymore. Heck, now that Grebthar was back and Shart was no longer bonded to me, I was pretty much in the clear.

  “Yeah, I do have a girl. When I get back to Windfall with her, I’m going to enjoy every moment of it,” I said, the enormous weight of all my responsibilities sliding off my back. “You are really quite good at putting things in perspective.”

  “Of course, I am. I’m Grebthar,” replied Grebthar.

  “You understand that from anyone else, that would be massively condescending,” I said.

  “Oh, believe me, I know, but I’m Grebthar. I can get away with just about anything,” he grinned. I grinned back. Damn me, if he wasn’t right.

  Chapter 43: Past the Dungeon Core

  We continued walking mostly in silence after that. I was still mentally adjusting to my new circumstances. Grebthar seemed content to l
eave me be, after I conceded to his amazing awesomeness. The underlayer of the dungeon was mostly free of monsters, due to the presence of Grebthar. The few we did encounter, he tended to blast out of existence before I was able to react. I couldn’t imagine what he would be like when he was more powerful than this. That was probably for the best.

  One should not have nightmares about the greatest hero in the land.

  We finally reached a staircase and started heading up. The chamber here looked more used than the part of the dungeon we were leaving. The underside of the dungeon was more primal than this civilized staircase.

  “The Dungeon Core is just past the next room,” said Grebthar, as he took the stairs two at a time. I followed him, taking two stairs myself. He switched to three, so I did as well. By the time we reached the top of the staircase, we were taking six stairs at a time.

  “You have the Hiking skill,” he chuckled, as we stopped. “It's the most useful skill for adventurers in the whole game.”

  “I guess we do a lot of walking,” I said, wondering if he was being serious. We had both nearly sprinted up the staircase, and neither of us even looked winded.

  Suddenly, I got a host of alerts on my menu.

  ● The dungeon boss has been defeated

  ● The Dungeon Core has been claimed.

  ● Each party member gains class buffs for conquering the dungeon. They need only to touch the Dungeon Core.

  ● You have not touched the Dungeon Core.

  ● A dungeon heart shard has been claimed for the party. Claimed by: Sir Dalton.

  Shart had been right. That was useful. We needed the dungeon heart shard, and everyone got class buffs when they touched the Dungeon Core. I was still in the party, but I hadn’t been present for the defeat of the boss. I wondered if I even could touch the Dungeon Core.