Gabe

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  “I WANT TO watch Peppa Pig!” Vittoria, my stubborn five year old screamed.

  “No, PJ Masks!” Lorenzo, my two year old yelled back.

  I screamed internally as I tried to finish unpacking the box I had started an hour ago, but hadn’t been able to finish because the kids wouldn’t stop fighting. I barely had the TV set up and they were already arguing over what show to watch. I would send them outside, but I couldn’t keep an eye on them and set up the house. I didn’t know the area that well, so I wasn’t comfortable with them being outside alone yet.

  “How about I put on Bee Movie?” I said as calmly as I could.

  “No,” Vittoria stomped her foot.

  “Hey!” I turned to her and took a deep calming breath. Vittoria had recently developed the attitude of a teenager, driving me out of my flipping mind. Her father’s new girlfriend, Melanie, was to blame in my opinion. Ms. Perky Boobs was ten years younger than me and dressed like a tramp. Somewhere after I had Enzo, I had no longer looked appealing to my husband and he went looking for a good time elsewhere. I knew what I looked like. I knew that my boobs were a little too saggy and my tummy wasn’t as trim as it used to be, but that was life. I had two kids. Unless I worked my ass off, there was no way I would ever have the body back I had when I was twenty-five. At this point in my life, I didn’t give a shit about working out. I was too tired and chocolate was just too damn good.

  “Vittoria, you need to choose something that both of you can watch. I’m trying to unpack and I can’t do that if you’re arguing with your brother.”

  “But I want to watch Peppa Pig. He always gets to choose. It’s my turn!”

  Count to five. Deep breath. Don’t kill anyone. They’re just kids….

  “Honey, I need you to help me out here. I have gotten a half of a box unpacked since this morning. If you want to wear clothes sometime today, then I need to get to work.”

  “Why couldn’t we just stay with Daddy?”

  Because your father is a manwhore who chose a perky bimbo over his family.

  “Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we plan them. But we’re going to be really happy here. Uncle Sam and Aunt Vanessa are really close and you know Aunt Vanessa is a really good cook.”

  “Can she make Mac n’ Cheese?”

  “I’m sure she can.”

  “Will it taste like Kraft?”

  “It’ll probably be better.” Her eyes widened and I could practically see the drool streaming from her mouth. “Now, please go sit quietly so I can get some unpacking done.”

  I walked her over to the couch, which was right in front of the TV since nothing was set up yet, and put on a movie for them. Then, I went to get a big bowl of popcorn, which was probably a bad idea and I would be finding kernels for the next week, but it would keep them out of my hair.

  I finished the box I was unpacking and had just started to break it down when someone knocked at my door. I groaned and made my way through the maze of boxes to the front door. My brother was standing on the other side with his arms crossed over his chest.

  “You want to tell me what that shit was about?”

  “Do you want to talk to me like a human being?” I asked.

  “I took the kids so that you could get shit done around here.”

  He stormed past me and stopped when he saw that I hadn’t really gotten anything done.

  “Sam, do you have two little kids that you’ve had to care for on your own while your husband goes out manwhoring?”

  He rolled his eyes at me. “You know I don’t.”

  “Then don’t judge me. You have no idea what it’s been like for me for the past two years, so if someone offers to watch my kids and I decide to go out, that’s my prerogative.”

  “Isa, I was watching them so you could get shit unpacked.”

  “I did. I got a bottle of wine unpacked and when that was done, I decided to say fuck it and I headed to the bar to pick up a guy.”

  Steam practically flew out of his ears. “That guy was my teammate.”

  “And I see why he’s so good at his job,” I smirked. “He’s very thorough.”

  “Agh. I don’t want to hear that shit.” He covered his ears like one of my kids and pretended he couldn’t hear me.

  “What? You don’t want to hear about the multiple orgasms he gave me?”

  “Lalalalala. I can’t hear you.”

  “Or how I haven’t had a man between my legs that knew what he was doing since my high school boyfriend?”

  “You slept with that douchebag?”

  I quirked an eyebrow at him. “Did you really think I was still a virgin when I met Matteo?”

  “I’m gonna need so much therapy after this,” he muttered.

  “Sam, who I fuck is none of your business and as for you punching him, that was completely unnecessary.”

  “He was talking about your…” He gestured down toward my crotch and I looked down.

  “My cunt?” His hands flew to his ears. “My pussy?”

  “Please stop,” he groaned.

  “I will when you realize that I’m a grown woman and I don’t need my big brother swooping in to save the day.”

  “Look, any other guy, just not Gabe. He’s into some weird shit and I don’t need that around you and my niece and nephew.”

  “That’s why you took them last night, so they weren’t around that. Besides, who says I don’t like what he’s into?”

  We hadn’t actually done anything other than normal sex, but now I was intrigued and thought maybe I should find the man and ask him what exactly he was into. Lord knows Matteo never tried anything but the missionary position.

  “I’m serious. I don’t want you to see him again. In fact, I’m just gonna tell you right now that he’s off limits. You’re forbidden to see him.” He nodded satisfied with this sudden revelation.

  “Oh, well, thank you for informing me that you’ve made this decision. I’ll be sure to be a good little girl and do as you say,” I said sarcastically as I walked out of the room.

  “Does that mean you’re going to listen to me?”

  “Not a chance. In fact, I think I’ll find out when he’s available to show me a good time again.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. “I’m not watching the kids again so that you can fuck him.”

  “Fine. I’ll get a babysitter.”

  “That’s not-” He growled in frustration and shoved his hands through his hair. “Why? Why are you doing this to me? You could choose anyone. Why does it have to be someone that I work with?”

  “Because you’re telling me I can’t,” I said smugly.

  I didn’t know if I would actually see him again or not. It’s not like we had exchanged numbers or anything, but he couldn’t be too hard to track down. And the way Sam was acting, I would gladly go find him just to piss Sam off.

  “Fine. See him all you want.”

  “I will,” I said as I grabbed another box and tore the tape off.

  “That’s not the way this is supposed to work.”

  “Yeah? Well, I made marriage vows and now I’m divorced. It seems a lot of things don’t happen the way they’re supposed to.”

  “You’re not divorced yet,” he scowled.

  “I’ll be sure to inform Gabe next time I screw him so that he’s aware.”

  Sam turned and stormed out of the house, leaving me laughing. It was alright for men to screw around, but if a woman did it, all hell would break loose.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  Just do it. You know you want to. You know you’ll do it in a few minutes anyway. You need this to sleep.

  I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to get comfortable. I tortured myself like this almost every night.

  It’ll take you, what? Twenty seconds and then you’ll be able to sleep? It’s worth it. Don’t lay in bed for another ten minutes, telling yourself that you’ll be fine when you know you need this to sleep.

  I rolled over and
stretched out further in the bed. I didn’t need this. I was fine just as I was. I felt the ripples of the sheets against my skin and turned over again.

  Agh! Just do it already. Get up and take care of it.

  I rolled over again, determined not to need this in order to go to sleep. I was a sane, level headed woman and I could go to sleep without doing this. I huffed and rolled over again. The sheets tickled my feet and I could feel the wrinkles rubbing against my toes. As much as I stretched and maneuvered my feet, I just couldn’t get comfortable. I did this every night. I would never learn. I threw off the covers and stared up at the ceiling

  This is absolutely ridiculous. I do not need this. I do not. I do not. I can do this. Matteo did this to me. He made me like this. I hate him so much!

  I got up off the bed and angrily stomped to the end, throwing the covers and top sheet up on the bed. I yanked the fitted sheet back into place, making sure it was extra tight. Then, I tucked the top sheet back in place, making sure to fold it into hospital corners and finally, put the cover back down. I sank back into my bed and felt that there were no more wrinkles on my sheets and I could finally get some sleep. I sighed and moved my feet around, feeling the coolness against my skin. There was nothing better than this.

  Matteo had always been a crazy sleeper. Every night, he pulled the top sheet out because he felt like his feet were being strangled. When he did that, he always pulled the fitted sheet free a little and I would end up with wrinkles. It drove me nuts and I couldn’t take it. Now that I was on my own, I tried not to let it get to me, but some neurosis can’t be helped. That was one of mine.

  I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard little feet running across the floor. I groaned and tried not to be pissed off that my kid was coming to sleep with me. Everyone always told me to enjoy it because this age wouldn’t last forever, but all I could think was that it would be another night of lost sleep.

  “Mommy, mommy! I sweep in yo bed?”

  I sighed and pulled the covers back for Enzo to climb in. He pulled himself up and snuggled right up next to me, taking over my pillow as he popped his thumb in his mouth and held tight to his lamb with his other. I could hear the sucking noise as he sucked on his thumb repeatedly. I looked over at him and he grinned, laughing and squirming next to me. Yeah, I loved this kid and no matter how much I tried to say that he drove me nuts, I loved moments like this.

  “Mommy?” I looked over to see my five year old standing in the door in her Moana nightgown. “Enzo left me and now there’s no one in the room with me. Can I snuggle with you?”

  “Yeah, come on.” Vittoria ran over and jumped into the bed, snuggling right up on the other side of me. Within minutes, I was sweating from the furnaces that were lying next to me. I tried to move my foot outside the covers to catch some air, but Enzo was upset when the covers were no longer where he wanted them. I tried to roll over to my stomach so that I could be more comfortable, but there was no room to roll over. Having had enough ten minutes later, I left the two of them to sleep where they were and I went to lay across the foot of my bed. I slipped under the covers, tearing the top sheet out of the foot of the bed so that I could sleep under it and laid down without a pillow.

  Sighing, I went to sleep, happy that I didn’t have to sleep next to Matteo anymore. He snored. Enough said.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  “Mom, mom, mom!” I peeled my tired eyes open and looked into the face of my son. He was grinning and jumping on me, jamming his elbow into my boob. Just what I wanted to wake up to. The kid had interrupted my dream in which Gabe, the sexy man from the bar, was the star. He had a body unlike anything I’d ever seen. I supposed that Sam had a body like that, but being my brother, that wasn’t something I really paid attention to. Gabe had short, black hair and a neatly trimmed beard that I could still feel against my thighs from the other night. His tight abs were something I only fantasized about and the way he kissed me made me feel like I was the sexiest woman he had ever seen. I was knocked out of my daydream of him by my son hitting me.

  “What, what, what?” I said back to him.

  “Mom, time to get up?” Enzo had one voice level. Loud. If I told him he had to be quiet, he would whisper I be quiet and then start yelling again.

  “Not yet, buddy. Mommy’s still tired.”

  He crawled off me and tore the covers from my legs. “No,” he whined. “Time to get up. I have plochate milk?” He couldn’t pronounce chocolate yet and his p’s always came out in the form of spit that flew all over my face.

  “Fine,” I groaned, knowing that he wouldn’t leave me alone until I got him milk and put on his favorite show. I just wanted to lay back down for a few minutes before the day started. Shuffling into the kitchen, I took down the sippy cups and poured in chocolate milk. Yes, Vittoria still used a sippy cup because she wanted to sit in the living room and drink it. There was no way she was drinking with an open cup in there. At the table, was one thing, but not in my brand new house. Well, new to me.

  After flipping on the TV, I crawled back under the covers, sighing as I rested my head on my pillow. I had a crick in my neck from sleeping without one last night and I would be paying for it today.

  “Mom! Enzo’s pulling my hair!”

  “Walk away,” I shouted, refusing to get out of bed. Every morning was the same. They got in a fight over something stupid and one of them would hit, kick, or pull the other one’s hair. Every. Single. Morning.

  “Mom,” she cried. I heard some thunking but it wasn’t a knock down, drag out fight yet. I closed my eyes and pretended I was on a beach somewhere. Beautiful, white sand filled the spaces between my toes. Gabe was running out of the water toward me, his sexy body moving gracefully as those abs flexed-

  “Mom!” Grunting, I flung off the covers and tried not to be upset that my daydream was interrupted. Couldn’t a girl dream a little? Stomping into the living room, I rolled my eyes when I saw Enzo sitting on top of Vittoria, pulling her hair as he tried to get his truck back from her.

  “Hey!”

  Enzo looked up at me and pointed at his sister. “Tori took my fire cruck.”

  “Enzo kept pulling my hair,” Vittoria cried as she continued to hold Enzo’s truck away from him.

  “Both of you stop right now. Vittoria, give him his truck back. You know it’s his favorite, so stop taking it. Enzo, get off your sister and stop pulling her hair.”

  Enzo climbed off after snatching his fire truck back from his sister. I made coffee as I stared out into the dark morning. It didn’t matter what time my kids went to sleep, they were always up by 5:30 at the latest. I hadn’t slept in since before the kids were born. Matteo never helped out with anything. I was a stay-at-home mom. It was my job to make sure the kids had everything they needed at any point during the day. It didn’t matter if I was in the shower. He would send the kids in to me if something was wrong.

  I had to start work next week and before that, I had to get the house in order. Something that would be nearly impossible with the way the kids were acting. I had hardly made a dent in all the boxes around the house. After my coffee, I got to work unloading box after box, breaking up fights, and shoveling food into the kids’ mouths. They were picky on the best of days. Today wasn’t a good day.

  Picking up my cell phone, I texted my sister, the one person I could rely on to give me some comedic relief.

  Isabella: I think I pissed dear Brother off

  Aurora: No, you don’t say…What was it this time?

  Isabella: Would you believe me if I said I swear I didn’t know?

  Aurora: Isa, what’d you do?

  I laughed, hearing the playful tone in her voice. It didn’t matter what either of us had done or what the reason was. Sam was our older brother and always thought anything we did was beyond reprehensible. We were his baby sisters and should behave in a certain way. The thing was, he hadn’t actually been around either of us in years. He had no clue what had been going on with either of us. When
he went off to the military, our relationship with him went from very close to almost non-existent. When he got back, not much changed. Still, he thought he had some kind of say in our lives. He just didn’t realize that we weren’t the kids that he remembered all those years ago.

  Isabella: Met a guy, brought him home for sex, said guy opened the door to Sam and the kids. Oh yeah, and he happens to be Sam’s teammate.

  Aurora: I need more details. How hot was he?

  Isabella: If looks could kill, my whole house would have been up in flames.

  Aurora: Sounds kinky.

  Isabella: No, that’s not what I meant. SAM was ready to murder him.

  Aurora: Clearly we’re talking about two different things. Who cares about Sam? I want more on the man you slept with. Are we talking Johnny Depp or Channing Tatum?

  Isabella: Ew! Neither. He’s not a psychopath and he’s not a stripper.

  Aurora: I need better info.

  I let the bubbles jump as I tried to think about how to describe Gabe.

  Isabella: Think a cross between James Bond, Harry Potter, Robert Langdon, Horatio Hornblower, Ross Poldark, and The Rock.

  Aurora: I’m…I’m not really sure what that means…

  I laughed at the twisted impression I just gave my sister.

  Isabella: Dangerous like James. Magical fingers like Harry, investigative skills like Robert, navigation skills of Horatio, don’t give a fuck attitude like Ross, and a body like The Rock.

  Aurora: That’s a strange and very thought out description of your man. I’m thinking of someone who carries a gun, has sparks that fly from his hands, about fifty years old, wears clothes from the 1700’s, has long, curly hair, and is really buff. I’m not sure what to make of that. Give me an actual description.

  I ignored her weird description of Gabe and skipped right to her first thought.

  Isabella: Okay, he’s got short, dark hair. Smoldering gaze. Dark eyes- dark brown, I think. The kind of jaw that makes you think he eats rocks for breakfast. Did I mention his perfectly sculpted body? When I ran my hand over his abs, it was like driving over a rumble strip. But sadly, not my man. I’m sure by now, Sam has had the big brother talk that he should have had with douchebag Matteo.