Gabe

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  “That’s an adult word that you’re not allowed to use,” I told Vittoria.

  “Daddy says adult words all the time.”

  “I’m sure you pointed that out to him, too.”

  “Yep!” she said cheerfully. “My piggy bank is really full.”

  “Vittoria is very good at keeping secrets,” I told Gabe. “For a price.”

  “I’ve noticed that. You’ve got yourself an entrepreneur on your hands.”

  “No, I have a blackmailer on my hands. I have a feeling she’s going to grow up to be a thief.”

  “At least she has goals,” he laughed. “You’ll have to bring her down to my work. She’ll be rich in no time.”

  “Where do you work?” Vittoria asked.

  “I work at a security company. We keep peoples’ homes safe and we protect people when they’re not safe.”

  “How do you do that?”

  “Well, we watch for bad people and if the bad people are around, we…make them not around.”

  “How do you make them not around?”

  Gabe cleared his throat and looked at me, but I just smirked. I couldn’t wait to hear how he was going to talk his way out of this one.

  “We hide them in a closet until we can get somewhere safe.”

  “Don’t tell her that,” I whispered “Now she won’t go in her closet.”

  He nodded and pulled out his gun, taking out the magazine and popping out the bullet in the chamber. “This is a gun. When bad people come after us, we take one of these bullets and stick it in the gun and shoot the bad guy.”

  My eyes were wide with shock and my mouth was hanging open. I didn’t think he was going to be that honest with her.

  “Does it hurt?” Vittoria asked.

  “Worst pain of your life,” he said without hesitation. “That’s why you have to always be a good girl, and don’t ever touch one of these unless an adult is with you and has shown you how to use it.”

  Vittoria looked at me with tears in her eyes. “I promise I’ll be good, Mommy.”

  Vittoria got up and ran from the room crying. Gabe leaned back in his chair with a smile.

  “That wasn’t funny. Now she thinks someone’s going to shoot her if she’s bad.”

  “Look on the bright side, I just made sure that she’ll always be good for you.”

  “That’s….I don’t threaten my children to get them to behave.”

  He nodded as he chewed his food. “I’ll tell you what, you should bring them down to my work one day. We have a new childcare center set up for the kids of anyone that works there. We have self-defense training for all the kids for their different ages and the older kids get to learn how to safely handle weapons. It could be good for them.”

  “You want me to send my kids, whom are only 2 and 5, to learn how to use a weapon.”

  “What? In some countries, kids learn this shit as soon as they’re able to walk. We’re just making sure they know how to protect themselves. Think of all the boys she’ll be able to fight off when they get too handsy.”

  “She’s five. I really doubt any boys are getting handsy at that age.”

  “Not true. I used to pull my best friend’s sister’s pigtails on the playground. I bet I wouldn’t have done that if she had learned how to defend herself.”

  “I also don’t want her being sent to the principal’s office. Things aren’t the same in school now as they used to be.”

  “Which is exactly why they should know this shit.”

  I just stared at him. This man was so strange, but oddly, I found it charming that he wanted to look after my kids like this.

  “Is that how you grew up? Learning to use a gun at the age of five?”

  “Nope, I learned when I was twelve. I used to hunt with my dad. But if I had learned at the age of five, I might have actually killed something. Venison is one of my favorite foods.”

  “I suppose you like fish too,” I grimaced.

  He smirked at me, the bastard. “Pretty much anything that can be eaten, I’ll eat.”

  I remembered him going down on me, licking and sucking me, pushing me to my very limits. I swallowed hard as my legs clenched together. I blinked quickly and worked to steer the conversation back to where we were.

  “Well, just so you know, I’m a little more picky about my foods. I don’t eat mushrooms, fish, venison, or anything that looks weird. I’m a meat and potatoes kind of girl and if you try and get me to eat anything else, you’re just wasting your time.”

  “Mushrooms, huh? That’s a shame. I’ll keep that in mind for our first date.”

  Heat crept up my neck at his bold statement. Thankfully, the kids were too young to understand his double entendre. We had kind of skipped the first date, so I shouldn’t get so worked up by this man, but I couldn’t help myself. His deep voice sent shudders down my spine and the way his eyes devoured me left me frazzled most of the time. Now he was talking about a first date. I fanned myself slightly and went back to my food to keep from walking over to him and licking his face. He chuckled and I grabbed my water, chugging it down to cool the fire inside me.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  After my dinner with Gabe last night, I was so dreamy happy that I could hardly sleep. It was so strange to be in this position when I was still technically attached to Matteo. This shouldn’t really be happening. I had kids to think about and how they would react to their mother suddenly being with another man. It would be confusing for them and I had no idea how I would even try to explain it to them.

  I spent most of my day at work being conflicted over my current situation. It was hard to concentrate, but I forced myself to focus. This was my new job after all. I couldn’t afford to lose it over daydreaming. When I finished at the end of the day, I went to pick up the kids. Vittoria had taken the bus to the same daycare Enzo was at. When I picked them up, the daycare worker told me that Enzo hadn’t had a nap today, which meant a long, crabby night. He fell asleep on the way home and if he woke up when I got him out of the car, he would be screaming for at least fifteen minutes.

  Vittoria talked the whole way home about what she did in school. Half of it I didn’t understand because it took her so long to complete a sentence. She always got distracted when she was storytelling. We pulled into the driveway and anger surged through me. Matteo’s car was sitting in my driveway and Matteo was sitting on my porch like he owned the place. That arrogant bastard.

  “Daddy’s here,” Vittoria screamed. She unbuckled and was out of the car, running toward him before I could stop her. Sighing, I got out and unbuckled Enzo, carrying him as he slept on my shoulder. Of course, Matteo didn’t offer to take him as I got to the door and struggled to get my keys in the door. He was too busy sucking up to our daughter. I knew this side of him all too well. He didn’t volunteer to do anything unless he got something out of it. He also never recognized when I needed help.

  I shoved the door open and walked immediately to Enzo’s room, laying him down and covering him up. The little kid was exhausted and if I tried to undress him, he would wake up and never go back to sleep. I stormed back out into the living room to see Matteo looking around my house while he ignored his daughter, who was trying to get his attention. He was such an asshole.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see how I could help out,” he said with a smile.

  “You could have started when I was carrying your son while he slept and unlocked the door at the same time.”

  “Why didn’t you just say something?”

  “Should I really have to? Are you that dense that you couldn’t see that I needed help?”

  Sighing, he rolled his eyes at me. “This is the problem. No matter what I do, I’m always wrong. Why can’t you just tell me what you need?”

  “Why can’t you just pay attention?” I snapped.

  “Daddy, are you and mommy going to fight again?” Vittoria asked. I was ashamed that I had started fighting with him in front of her. She didn
’t need to hear about all the things I hated about her father. As useless as he was, he was still her father and I had to play a part so they didn’t have to feel my hatred for him.

  “Vittoria, why don’t you go to your room so I can talk to your mother.”

  “But I want to tell you about the party and all the friends that Uncle Sam has. There are so many kids and Gabe came over for dinner last night and-”

  “Wait,” Matteo interrupted. “Who’s Gabe?” His gaze flicked to mine. “Why was there another man in this house?”

  “Vittoria, I need you to go to your bedroom while I talk with your father. Why don’t you go read one of your new books?”

  “Fine,” she grumbled as she walked away.

  “Who’s Gabe and why was he around my kids?”

  “Oh, now they’re your kids? You haven’t paid attention to them in years, but suddenly you’re upset because there was another man here?”

  “Look, you and I are still married. There shouldn’t be anyone around here unless I approve of him.”

  “He was here to watch the kids while I unpacked.”

  “I told your brother that I would be here to help you. I don’t even understand why you left. We could have solved our problems if you would have just stuck around and made an effort.”

  “Are you kidding me right now? If I had made an effort? I was the only one that did anything in our marriage,” I said angrily. “You were never there for me or the kids. You were too busy having desk time with your mistress to take an interest in our lives.”

  “I’m not with her anymore. It was one mistake,” he yelled. “How long do I have to pay? What will it take for you to get off your high horse and be rational?”

  I took a deep breath and walked toward the door. There was no way I was putting up with his crap tonight. I opened the door and stepped back, but Matteo had other plans. He pulled me into his arms and held me tight to his body as he kissed me, trapping my hands between our bodies. I tried to push him away, but his grip was too tight. I was finally able to tear my mouth from his and squirmed out of his grasp, slapping him hard across the face.

  “What the hell was that, Matteo?”

  “I want you back. You’re my fucking wife. We have kids together. How can you just walk away from me?”

  “Newsflash, asshole. We had two kids and I was your wife when you were screwing around on me. Now you expect me to just come back to you?”

  “I made a mistake, but we could work past this. We can go to counseling, but we can’t do it if you stay here. I need you home with me.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” I said fiercely. “I’ve made up my mind and I won’t be changing it.”

  “Isabella, this is ridiculous. I was under stress at work and you were too busy with the kids. We didn’t have time for each other, but now that I finally got that promotion, things are going to be different.”

  I just shook my head in astonishment. “Are you seriously blaming this on me?”

  “I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying that I was getting lonely. Shit, I would come home at night and you always gave me the excuse that you were too exhausted. Do you know what that did to me?”

  “I was exhausted because I was always taking care of everything.”

  “Please, let’s not exaggerate here. I was the one working the long hours and bringing in the money. I did that so that you could be the stay-at-home mom and take it easy.”

  “I never wanted that,” I shouted. “I never wanted to give up my job and stay home. I liked my job, but you insisted that it was what our kids needed. I gave up a piece of myself to give you what you wanted and every day since I had Vittoria, you started treating me like the hired help.”

  “Baby, I would come home and you’d be sitting on the couch watching TV. Dinner was on the table, but it was usually something quick and easy. There were always toys all around the house. It was like you never bothered to pick up. Hell, the laundry was always piling up. I’m not actually sure what you ever did during the day.”

  I was fuming. He had no idea what it was like for me. He ignored Vittoria until she was old enough to actually be interesting, while I put in all the work. “I was exhausted. I know you probably don’t remember this because you always needed your ‘rest’, but Vittoria was a very colicky baby. I spent almost every night walking around with her and trying to calm her down. She wouldn’t take naps. No matter what I did, she was always upset. It went on for months. I told you about it, but you never once offered to help out. You want to know why I never did anything during that first year Vittoria was born? It was because I never slept. I was a walking zombie and you never noticed.”

  “And what was your excuse when Lorenzo was born?” he sneered.

  “How about raising two kids? Is that a good enough excuse for you?”

  “Plenty of moms stay home and take care of the house and kids. You’re acting like you’re the first mother to have to deal with this.”

  “I didn’t just take care of the house and kids,” I shouted. “I was their sole caregiver. Do you have any idea what it’s like to take care of two small children when they’re wound up and running around like crazy? I was going out of my mind by the end of every day. And then you would saunter in and want to know why dinner wasn’t ready or your dry cleaning hadn’t been picked up. I took care of all the bills and everything that had to do with the house. Your sole responsibility was bringing in money. You never offered to help with anything else. You’d come home and kick your feet up on the table and watch tv. All the time.Then on the weekend, you were always out with your buddies. I’m the one that took care of them all the time. I never had a life outside of them because I never had a partner that wanted to be there to help out. You always left your shit everywhere and I had to clean it up. It was more like having three kids than two.”

  “Okay, well these are all issues we can discuss in therapy,” he said irritatedly.

  “There’s nothing we can do to fix this.”

  “I don’t get it,” he roared. “I can give you everything. If you want more time, I’ll give it to you. If you want me to take more time with the kids, then I’ll do it. Geez, it’s not that big of a deal. We can work this out.”

  “No, Matteo. You can give me everything but the one thing that I really need.”

  “What’s that?”

  “To feel respected. To feel like I’m not just some doormat that you can walk all over. I deserve a man that will treat me like I’m worth something, like what I do is important. You’ve never given me that and you never will, because you only see what you want to see. I’m not the same woman you married and that’s because of you. You asked me to change, to mold myself into something you wanted and then you threw it all away when you decided it wasn’t what you wanted.”

  “And this other guy can give you this?” he said disgustedly.

  “I don’t know. But I do know that he’s willing to try for me. He asks me what I need and he makes an effort for me. Maybe he’s not the one that I’ll spend the rest of my life with, but I sure as hell know it won’t be you.”

  “I won’t let my kids be raised by him. They’re my kids too.”

  “It’s funny that now you decide they’re your kids.”

  He stepped into my space and scowled at me. “You made a big fucking mistake when you walked away from me. You took those kids out of state against my wishes. I could file kidnapping charges. I could have your ass thrown in jail.”

  “Get the fuck out of this house,” Sam’s voice boomed from the doorway. Matteo spun around and glared at my brother.

  “I’ll leave when I’m ready.”

  “I don’t think you understood me,” Sam said, stalking closer to Matteo with a look that promised death in his eyes. “You don’t ever fucking speak to my sister like that. You don’t threaten her with jail and you sure as fuck don’t try and take away her kids. Now, I told you to fucking leave and you need to do that now before I change my mind about lettin
g you leave here in one piece.”

  “What about all that bullshit you said to me about wanting to help me get her back? I thought you didn’t want her to leave me.”

  “That was before I realized that you don’t actually love my sister. You just want to use her. You don’t want to look bad because your wife left you. I thought you really loved her and wanted to make things work with her, but now I see you’re just a selfish prick that’s only looking out for himself. Now, you’re gonna walk out that door and you’re gonna get in your vehicle and go home. You’re going to sign those fucking divorce papers and work out a custody agreement with Isa that she’s okay with. Beyond that, you don’t fucking call her or even think about her. She doesn’t exist to you anymore. I’ll be watching you and if you so much as cross the state line when you’re not supposed to, I’ll fucking tear you limb from limb and make sure that no one ever finds a single piece of your body.”

  Matteo looked back at me, trying to hide his fear and then shoved past Sam on his way out, slamming the door behind him. I let out a deep breath, relieved that he was finally gone. My chest ached as I repeated it to myself. He was finally gone. He would be out of my life. As Sam wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug, I cried into his shirt. I wouldn’t miss Matteo. I was crying because all the reasons I thought I married him and built a life with him were based on a lie. He may have loved me at one time, but it was clear now that he didn’t have a clue what love really was. If I had stayed with him any longer, he would have used me up until I was nothing more than a shell of the woman I used to be.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m better now that my brother pulled his head out of his ass,” I mumbled against his shirt. His deep chuckle rumbled through me and made me smile.

  “I’m sorry I pushed him on you. I really fucked that one up. Vanessa called it all along.”

  “Yeah?”

  He took a deep breath and blew it out. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be hearing about this one for the rest of my life.”

  “That’s why you never argue with a woman.” I snuggled in tighter, taking a deep inhale of my brother’s scent. He smelled like home to me. “How much did you hear?”