by Dawn Doyle
Her mouth hung open as I walked away, and even though my insides churned at what I’d said, Eastyn was right. I couldn’t allow myself to feel guilty about it. I’d put up with childish taunts and playground bullying for too long, and I’d had enough. I wasn’t going to allow it anymore. Not from the girls—not from anybody.
*****
“Shay, this piece is incredible,” Professor Jenkins said as she held my assignment. She continued reading as she spoke while tucking her shoulder-length hair behind her ear. “You write with a such detail and emotion—the scenes described so clearly that I can picture it effortlessly.” She lowered the paper and stared at me, her mouth open in wonder. I smiled with embarrassment, heat rising to my face as she placed her hand on her chest. “Goodness, I admire how you work the surroundings in with the action.” She pointed at the paper. “Her long nails clicked against the table, the bright-red polish chipping away with the impact as she drummed them over and over.” Professor Jenkins looked around the lecture hall as students filed out. “Will you be writing more of this?”
I laughed nervously, my heart rate accelerating as I watched her eager expression, waiting for me to answer. “Um, yeah, actually. I plan on turning this into a novel,” I replied.
Her hand shot to her chest and she gasped. “Yes, my dear, that is wonderful! You have great talent, Shay, and I would like to be the first to say that I look forward to having your published work on my shelves.” Instead of giving me my graded paper, she tucked it away in her leather bag, snapping the black fastener over it as though it was at risk of being stolen. “I wanted to say that I’ve noticed you smiling a lot more.”
My eyes widened. “I have?” I had a good idea of why that was, too.
Professor Jenkins smiled. “Yes, you have. Whatever you’ve been doing lately, keep doing it because it’s reflecting in your work. Your prose, your detail, your descriptions, the way the words flow from the page as though they’ve taken a life of their own… Shay, it’s as though a breath of fresh air has been blown into you and given your writing new life. In the past, your text seemed to be written with a bitterness that was as sharp as an adder’s bite. But, lately, there has been a wonderful softness that is not only welcome, but positively encouraged.”
I laughed nervously at her compliment, but still didn’t know what to make of her remarks regarding my past assignments. Had my personal troubles transferred onto paper so much? It had me wondering about the times I’d spent working at the paper, and it was suddenly clear why I was mistaken for a guy. I was harsh and to the point—the style of writing the others on the paper favored.
“Thank you, Professor. I’m enjoying writing a lot more than I have done, so I understand why it would show through my recent assignments.”
“Of course, but I’m thinking that’s not the only reason.” Her eyebrows raised a little before she held out two pieces of printed paper. “I don’t think you meant for this to slip in with your work.”
My eyes bugged as I took the two printed pieces of paper from her hand. “Oh my god,” I whispered, my insides plummeting as I caught the words I’d poured out, the sensations that had wracked my body and the salacious sounds elicited from me described in graphic detail that had not been meant for my professor’s eyes.
Oh, god, I hope she doesn’t realize that’s about Eastyn and me.
Nausea crept up into my throat, and I took the papers, quickly folding and stuffing them into my satchel, then making sure the buckles were secure. “I am so sorry,” I rushed out. Before I could apologize further, the professor held up her hand.
“Like I said, Shay, you have great talent, and I think you have the makings of a fantastic author.” She glanced to my satchel, then back up at me. A smile tugged at her rose-tinted lips, the delicate lines deepening as the corners turned up. Her brown eyes sparkled with humor, the deep color a sharp contrast against her gray hair. “I hope to read more of that, too.” She winked, then walked back to her large wooden desk at the front, silently dismissing me and my thoroughly embarrassing moment.
I rushed out of there as fast as I could, weaving my way through the crowded halls until I was free to breathe in the fresh air outside. Only then did I allow myself to take a second to absorb Professor Jenkins’ words. I laugh bubbled up from my chest, quietly escaping out of my mouth and I pressed my fingers to my lips to contain it.
What’s Eastyn going to say?
I knew what he’d say. It would be that we need to work on new material, as we’d already worked through the entire page of the notebook he’d seen, and added a few other things to my growing list of bedroom scenes to fuel my writing.
Just the thought of him caused a pleasant feeling to buzz in my stomach, growing into a swarm of thousands of fluttering butterflies dancing inside of me as I made my way to the food hall. I’d fallen for him, I knew that much, and although he still had things that he couldn’t share with me just yet, things from his past that terrified him in his sleep, I wasn’t worried. Whatever they were, I would be there for him. To listen, to understand, and to support him as he did me. My heart skipped in agreement as I gripped the handle of the large wooden door, and saw the reason that my sharp edges had begun to soften.
The man I was hopelessly in love with.
Eastyn
I sat at the table with the guys, looking proud as they wore their brand-new sports shirts for the teams. I held mine in my hands, still in the plastic wrapping, staring down at the wing with a capital ‘S’ in the center.
“They look cool, don’t they?” Will asked, running his hand over his emblem. “Much better quality than last time.”
“You’re welcome,” Lara said, approaching the table, and I glanced up to see her beaming at us. “Seriously guys”—she pulled the chair out next to Will, and sat down—“We couldn’t have done it without all of you, and the girls, obviously. All of the proceeds have gone to where they needed to go. The football field will be getting treated first, and then baseball.” She took her phone out of her purse and scrolled on the screen. “Yeah, the company I’ve booked will be here over the weekend, so any practices need to be rescheduled.”
“Fuck, Lara, you could’ve told us,” Max whined. “Coach said we need to get our asses out there as much as possible until the next game.”
“I’m sorry, but they only got back to me yesterday,” she snapped. “I didn’t have to do this, Max, I could’ve left it up to you to get it done, and it looks like I should have.”
“Jesus, what bit your ass this morning?” Justin asked, holding his palms up and staring at her wide-eyed. “We just needed a little bit more notice, that’s all. We’ll have to speak to Dylan about it, but I’m sure we’ll work it out somehow.”
The chair next to me pulled out, and her scent hit me before I even turned. “Hey.”
“Hi,” Shay replied, her gorgeous smile making my fucking day, and it was only noon. She spotted Lara, then turned her attention back to me. “How was class?”
My stomach lurched. Professor Chambers had asked how I was getting on with my psych eval, and I totally lied to her. “It was good,” I replied, resting my hand on her thigh. I was so glad she was wearing a skirt, the loose, black pleated fabric giving me excellent access to her skin. “Yours?”
She leaned into me and pressed her lips to mine. “English class was great,” she replied, pulling back just a little, and I breathed in deeply, savoring how fucking good she smelled. “I handed in my assignment, and I’ve got another project to start.” She tilted her face to the side to whisper in my ear. “I’ve written some more, but I think I need some help. You know, for research purposes.”
My cock flinched in my pants, ready to take her up on her offer and let her loose on me. Fuck, I even contemplated skipping the rest of the day, but I had one criminal justice class to go and I couldn’t get out of it even if I wanted to, and I fucking did.
Fuck, I’m going to miss her when she leaves.
I didn’t want to think abo
ut that because I needed her. In a week, I’d had just one nightmare, and all other times, I’d slept like a baby next to her, even in her apartment. Shit, since I was sixteen years old, I hadn’t slept more than two hours without waking, and lying next to Shay brought me a peace I hadn’t had since I was cuffed and taken away. She hadn’t brought it up, but her wordless actions told me she knew I was thinking about it—the way she held me tight, or squeezed my hand and kissed me whenever I was silent. Fuck, she got me a hell of a lot more than I’d given her credit for, and her patience with me never wavered, even though I still hadn’t said a fucking word.
“For History class?” Max asked, breaking my thoughts. He tilted his head to the side, confusion pulling his brows together. “Haven’t you finished your essay? I thought you’d be done already.” The fucker had heard every word.
I slid my hand up the inside of Shay’s thigh as her face flushed, making her look cute as hell.
She took a shaky breath and squeezed her legs against my hand. “Uh, yeah, but this is a side project I’m working on.”
“That’s sounds great,” Lara said cheerfully as though she was part of the conversation. I thought she’d already left. “Is it for the thing you used to do in our dorm?”
“No,” Shay replied flatly, and I gave her leg a gentle squeeze. “My extra curricular projects now, are solely for my personal interest.” She dropped her head and looked down at the tray of pasta in front of her.
I leaned close to her, making sure only she could hear me. “It’s okay to be upset,” I whispered. “Don’t be embarrassed because she pissed you off, babe. That was all on her.”
“Wow, still throwing up the word vomit,” a sly voice came from beside Lara, and we all turned our attention to it. “And it’s not your dorm anymore, Shay, because I just got finished transferring.” Elise snorted dryly. “Lara, I’ve been looking for you to tell you I’ve just signed the paperwork. You don’t have to worry about her coming crawling back.”
“Elise!” Lara whined. “Why the hell did you do that?”
I gritted my teeth and glared at Elise, especially when her face twisted into a smug as fuck grin, aimed right at Shay.
“Eastyn,” Shay said before I could tell Elise to get the fuck away from us, and I tore my eyes from the evil piece of shit still staring at her. “She’s just trying to get a rise out of me.”
“A rise?” Elise laughed loudly, flicking her hair back over her shoulder. “Oh my God, if that’s all I came over for, I would’ve said something else like, oh, I don’t know, that Eastyn’s lap was nice and warm when I sat on it.” She winked at me. “Isn’t that right, East?”
Shay stiffened, her thigh tensing under my touch. “Excuse me, what?”
Her face paled at the same time my temper flared. Elise had gone too fucking far, and making her stunt sound like I’d allowed it had me fighting so fucking hard to control myself.
“Yeah,” Elise breathed out. “In the bar after break. I guess you two weren’t that serious about your…” she waved her finger between us with a look of disgust on her face, “…whatever the hell this is, because East sure did like it when I…” She snorted a smug laugh. “Well, you get the picture.”
I hadn’t planned on that coming out, even though I had fuck all to hide. It was a non-issue the moment it was over, and I’d thought Elise had understood I wasn’t interested and would leave me the hell alone.
God, I was fucking raging inside, my heart pounding and my breaths coming slow and deep to stop myself from lashing out. But, as usual, I had to keep my fucking cool. I’d learned to do that so fucking well, that if anybody were to look at me, and I knew they fucking were, I’d look like I didn’t give a shit about a damn thing that was going on. I drummed my fingers over Shay’s hard thigh, over and over, hoping to hell she knew what I was thinking. I glanced at Shay and saw that her expression mirrored mine, but her eyes had grown cold.
“You mean,” Casey said, slowly lifting his hand as though asking permission to speak. All eyes snapped to him, and I could tell he knew his little gesture would sway the attention from me to him, “East liked it when you fell on your ass?” Elise’s eyes bulged at the same time her face flamed. “Cos, it wasn’t just East who liked that, we all liked that.”
Max laughed, and Elise’s face contorted into an enraged snarl that was hilarious to see. “You know, Elise, you shouldn’t throw shit around people who can throw even more back,” he said, pointing at her.
“Oh?” she snapped. “And just what do you think you could possibly throw back at me?”
Max took out his phone and wiggled it. “Oh, I dunno,” he began, repeating her, “but there are quite a few messages on here that I don’t think you’d want anybody to see.”
Her face paled. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Max leaned back in his seat, grinning. “Try me.”
Shay’s hands splayed on the table and she slowly pushed up from her chair—my hand dropping from her leg—until she was standing. She rounded the table to stand in front of Elise. “Why do you hate me so much?” she asked, tipping her head to the side, “because, apart from your constant jibes about my personality, the way I dress, the way I talk… It would seem you have deep rooted problems of your own.”
“What problems would I possibly have?” Elise spat. “Apart from you?”
“Narcissism,” I said, surprising myself as much as every fucker who was now gawking openly at me. “You’re a control freak and think everybody is below you. You also hate anybody who won’t put up with your shit, and Shay happens to be one of those people.” I stood up next to Shay and took her hand. “You make shit up to make yourself look better, you take no responsibility for your actions, and you think everybody else is at fault when, Elise, it’s you who’s the problem.” I turned to look at Shay, her sexy smile tugging at her lips, then back to Elise. “Keep the fuck away from me, away from my girlfriend”—I thumbed toward the table—“and all of us. Don’t fucking test me, because I’m the wrong fucking person to mess with.”
Shay’s hand tightened in mine.
Girlfriend. Fuck, I never meant to say that.
But that’s exactly how I saw her. My girlfriend. Mine.
Elise threw her head back and laughed. “Like you’d do a damn thing,” she drew out.
“Who says Eastyn would have to do anything?” Shay asked before I could reply. She squeezed my hand while glaring at Elise. “You want to see me lose my temper, Elise? Then please, continue, but I assure you that what you’ll see will be anything but entertaining.”
I watched Shay as Elise finally shut the fuck up. Her eyes never wavered, and her expression didn’t slip even a little bit. What I saw in her, I had seen in myself whenever I looked in the mirror. A thick wall built so fucking high, that it would take a damn miracle for anything or anyone to break through, and on the outside, an emotionless, blank expression that gave nothing away.
“Shay?” I gently tugged on her hand, but she didn’t move. “Come on, babe.”
“Go and sit down, Shay,” Elise snipped while flicking her fingers as though waving her off. “Be a good girl and do as you’re told.”
I didn’t have time to react before I saw the slap or heard the gasps around the table as Shay’s palm flew towards Elise’s face.
A loud crack filled the silence and Elise’s head snapped to the side, her hair flying about as though she’d been hit with a sudden tornado.
Shay pulled back her hand and I turned my head toward her. Her eyes were blazing, her nostrils flared and her jaw set as though she was using every ounce of self control not to tear into Elise right then and there. “Get out, and leave us the fuck alone,” she ground out, her voice low and with a bite to it that had the guys moving back in their seats. “Consider this your final warning.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Elise screeched, holding her slap-reddened face as it twisted into an ugly sneer.
I clenched my fist hard, and Elise stepped back as
Shay moved forward. “If I were you,” I said as calmly as I could through my building anger, the flare of my rage hitting heights I’d never felt against a woman. “I’d leave while you still can.”
Elise snorted and as Shay launched toward her, I reacted quickly, grabbing her around the waist and yanking her back as Elise let out a high-pitched wail while covering her face with her raised hands. The last thing I wanted right then was for Shay to get into deep shit, even though Elise had had it coming to her for as long as I’d had the misfortune of knowing her.
“Lara, let’s go,” Elise huffed out and turned away. Lara stayed put and Elise turned back, childishly stamping her foot like an insolent brat. “Lara!”
Lara looked around the table, her eyes wide and her face as white as a fucking ghost. “No, Elise, I’m not going anywhere with you, and I think you should move out of the dorm. Right now,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Elise opened her mouth to reply, but when her eyes landed on Shay, she snapped her jaw shut and then stormed out of the food hall with all eyes aimed right on her retreating back.
“Damn, girl,” Justin said, rising out of his seat and lifting his palm for a high-five. “Don’t leave me hanging.”
