by Dawn Doyle
He added kisses to his goodbye text, and I replied the same, but I wanted to add something else—how I felt—because it was eating away at me not telling him what he meant to me.
I threw my phone down on the thick white duvet covering the bed, then dropped down onto my back beside it, sinking into the Queen-sized mattress. From the angle, the matching white drapes were upside down, their gold tie-backs resembling a saddened expression. Even the dark-wooden table in front of the large window looked depressed, its empty surface poetic in its appearance while the plain, navy-blue carpet emphasized the melancholic ambience.
Or was it just me?
My phone beeped, and I lifted my head quickly as I grabbed for it, my heart sinking when I saw it wasn’t Eastyn.
‘Don’t be late. Dinner is at seven sharp. Be at the restaurant at 6:45pm,’ my father sent.
No ‘hello,’ ‘how was the drive,’ or anything regarding my general wellbeing, which was always the case for my father. I hadn’t spoken to him at all in these past few months, and that was the message he had for me.
“I guess I should get ready, then,” I huffed, heading over to the adjoining bathroom to get ready to face the proverbial music.
****
I walked through the open glass door of Poésie, the French restaurant my parents favored. The black and chrome interior sparkled, every surface highly polished to a gleaming finish that reflected the lights from the crystal-drop chandeliers hanging low from the high ceilings.
I’d gotten less than three feet when a man stopped me, his crisp, white shirt almost glowing against the deep black of his bowtie and matching vest.
Before I could tell him I had a reservation, he said, “This way, Mademoiselle Michaels,” with a thick French accent.
I snapped my mouth shut, but I wasn’t surprised that he knew who I was, or where I was going as he led me to the center of the room to a large round table that sat eight people while another waiter was busy filling the glasses with red wine.
Deep breaths.
My mom stood and held her arms out as though she was pleased to see me, her smile not meeting her eyes as she looked up and down my modest black dress. “Shay-Anne, it’s wonderful to see you, sweetheart,” she gushed.
“Hi, Mom,” I replied as she held my arms and air-kissed both my cheeks. Her eyes dropped to the plain fabric that fitted to my waist, then hung loosely to my knees.
“Darling,” my dad said, rising from his high-backed chair that matched the black table. His warm hands gripped my bare arms as my mom had, and he leaned in to air-kiss, also. God forbid my parents show any affection to their child in public. I could feel eyes on me as he smiled at me, and my gaze slid from his to the guests at the table. He gestured toward the men when they stood. “Shay-Anne, I’d like to introduce you to Gregory, Aidan, and Thomas. They’re our senior partners at the firm.”
These people had worked with my parents for years, but I’d never met them once in my life. My parents never had guests over at our house, nor invited them to any family gatherings, so to finally meet the partners now made my hackles rise further. It could only mean that this was significantly important to them, or it could mean something else entirely.
I put my aversions to the back of my mind and nodded politely as I’d been raised to. “It’s lovely to meet you,” I said and took their offered hands to shake. My skin crawled and my stomach rolled when their dank palms gripped mine in turn, and I fought the urge to run to the bathroom to scrub away their touch and smother my hands in sanitizer.
“It seems I’m a little late to the introductions,” a voice came from behind me, and a sick shiver ran down my spine. I turned slowly and came face-to-face with a contemptuous grin. “Hello, Shay. It’s great to see you again.” Ross held out his hand, but I refused to take it.
My fists clenched at my sides and every nerve ending in my body screamed out against the audacity of the situation I was placed in. I snapped my eyes to my mom’s and glared at her. She smiled, but the words in her expression said, ‘don’t embarrass me.’
I waited for the past feeling to rear up, but they didn’t come. My anger tried to escape from my mouth, to finally tear Ross down for what he and Jayne had done, but as I continued to blaze under the fire from my mom’s glare, I stepped away from the nauseating man I never wanted to see again.
My dad gestured to the table, and everybody took their seats. All except for me.
“Shay-Anne?” my mom asked, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Ross and the way I wanted to lash out at him with my fists like I’d missed out on years ago. “Honey, please sit.”
“Right here,” Ross said, patting the velvet-covered seat next to him. He lifted his chin and smiled slyly at me, his arrogance evident as his eyes roamed over my body and back up to linger on my chest. “Come on, Shay-Anne, take a seat.”
I didn’t miss his exaggerated tone when saying my name. I didn’t like it when I was called by my full name, and he knew it.
“Sorry I’m late, Sabrina and I have only just got the kids settled,” Mason rushed out, and I spun to face him the second I heard his voice. He beamed at me and pulled me in for a hug at the same time I threw my arms around him, and he whispered, “Hey, panda girl.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I replied.
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t let you face these people all alone.”
We pulled back when my father cleared his throat, his eyes looking pointedly to the guests and then the seats. Mason glared at my parents, and I had a pretty good idea why. He’d been blindsided as much as I had.
Ross looked between us, his dark eyes flitting back and forth. “Shay—”
“I’ll take this seat,” Mason said, gripping the chair and yanking it out of Ross’ hand. He patted the seat between him and my mom. “How’s things? How’s college? Did you guys get everything you needed from the raised cash?”
All eyes were on us, and I could feel the tension rolling off of my mom.
“Yeah, we did, thank you for asking,” I replied while discreetly wiping my hands down my dress. Mason’s sympathetic eyes warmed when he gripped my trembling hand under the table. “How are you and the girls?”
Mason blew out a long breath. “Sabrina’s about ready to pop.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Becky and Jasmine can’t wait. Every day they ask if it’s time for the baby to come out to play.”
I chuckled. “I can imagine. Bex told me she’s excited to be an even bigger sister.” I missed my nieces and sister-in-law fiercely, and couldn’t wait to see them again.
Mason leaned toward me, turning his back to Ross. “She even said that the baby could have her pikachu, how about that?” He squeezed my hand again. “I told her that Aunt Shay’s friend wouldn’t mind.”
“Huh?” Mason had won the stuffed toy, so he wasn’t making any sense.
He winked and said, “I was sworn to secrecy so I said I’d won it, but the guy who offered it to you came over, said he understood Becky didn’t know him and had learned about stranger danger, and asked if we could give it to her.”
My hand flew over my mouth and my lids threatened to spill over with the floods of tears filling my eyes. “Eastyn gave you that?”
Mason nodded as he grinned. “He sure did.”
It makes so much sense! Well, somebody’s going to get lucky when I get home.
My face flamed as I thought of going back to Eastyn and how I was going to thank him for being so sweet.
“Who’s Eastyn?” Ross asked over Mason’s shoulder, making my smile disappear in an instant.
Mason turned his head the tiniest bit to answer. “None of your business, asshole,” he ground out.
My parents both gasped and my insides sunk, yet flew all at the same time, making one hell of a jumbled mess of my nerves and sanity.
“Mason!” my mom snapped. “That’s quite enough. We’re here to discuss Shay-Anne’s future.”
“I think Shay can decide that for herself, don’t y
ou think?” Mason retorted.
“Mason, this doesn’t concern you,” my dad growled, then silently apologized to the senior partners. He turned to Gregory, who pushed his thick-framed glasses up his nose, the lenses misting from the heat coming from his fingers. “Our firm has gone from strength to strength over the years, and we’d like to welcome our daughter with open arms when she begins her internship next summer.” Mason snickered under his breath at the same time I tensed, and my mom shot me a scathing look, her red lips pursed tight. Her hand gripped the serviette like a vice, her knuckles turning white. My dad turned to Thomas. “Under our guidance, Shay-Anne will, no doubt, grow to be an integral part of the firm. She has already shown so much potential to be a great lawyer, and with her LSAT’s this year”—he turned to Aidan—“I’m certain we’ll be looking at the future named partner within Michaels and Michaels.”
My jaw dropped in disbelief, but I didn’t miss how the senior partners’ expressions tightened as they fought to hold their smiles. “You have three seniors who would gladly have their names on the wall,” I blurted out before I had a chance to think, but once they were out, I continued. “And considering I have yet to announce my intentions for the future, your unfounded presumptions are extremely premature.”
“Shay,” Mason whispered. “What’s going on?”
“What I should’ve said a long time ago,” I replied, and he smiled.
“Good for you, panda girl.” He squeezed my hand once more. “Don’t hold back.”
“Shay-Anne—”
“Just Shay,” I snapped before my mom could say anything more. I scanned the faces around the table, leaving one of them out. “I won’t be taking the LSAT’s, because I’m not going to law school.” My mom’s hand flew to her chest and my dad’s face reddened so much, I could see the darkening skin through the thickness of his neatly trimmed beard.
“Young lady,” he began, pointing at me.
“No, Dad,” I said before he could cut me down. “Being a lawyer was never an aspiration of mine. My studies are something I wished for myself—not for acceptance into law school.” I side-glanced at Ross. “And since your firm’s standards have changed to accept pre-law students, it seems I would be overqualified to take on an associate position should I wish to.”
My dad’s hands balled into fists at the table, and my heart pounded in my chest. The senior partners looked from Ross to me, and then to my parents. “Ross has shown his maturity,” he ground out through his clenched teeth. “Top of his class, and scored high on his LSAT’s last year.”
“Not to mention my summer internship is already successful,” Ross boasted, his chin tilting higher as he looked down his nose at me. “I’ll be the first ever associate at Michaels and Michaels with a degree in Pre-law, making way for others who want to follow in my footsteps.”
“Oh,” I drew out. I turned and glared at my mother. “Well, excuse me for the misunderstanding. Here I thought the firm was supposed to be built on integrity and trust, but I see liars and cheats are welcomed.” I face my dad. “And it also seems to me that it doesn’t matter who gets hurt in the process, even your own daughter, it’s merely disregarded with a wave of the hand.”
“Now look here,” my mom sneered. “Ross has apologized for his juvenile behavior, and regardless of the grudges you hold against him, he has proven to be a valuable asset.”
“Yeah, Shay,” Ross added, his tone filled with humor as he leaned forward to see me. “I could’ve reached my goal in a different way, I admit that, but in the end, I got what I wanted.” He let his gaze fall to my chest and his tongue darted over his lips, making every hair on my body prickle in disgust.
I gasped. “Apologized? Not to me, he didn’t. Do you hear yourself? I was the one he fucked over to get ahead, Mom.” I snorted a dry laugh when her eyes bugged, but I was too far gone to pay attention to the gruff words coming from my dad’s direction. “I was the one that had to endure the shame of knowing everybody else was privy to his activities, excluding myself. But, I guess your daughter’s wellbeing doesn’t concern you, does it? The only thing that you’re remotely interested in, is for me to follow in your footsteps, but you know what? I refuse to reciprocate. I’m not following anybody’s footsteps—I’m going to make my own, and they’re going to be made with happiness, caring, and love, the things that you’ve never shown for anybody other than yourselves.”
“Wow, some things never change,” Ross mumbled.
“I should’ve kicked your ass when I had the chance,” Mason snarled. “You’re a pathetic scum bag with no morals.”
“Jealous, Mason?” Ross asked, laughing. “Family law is okay, I guess. Maybe one day, you’ll get to work with the corporate lawyers and earn serious money.”
Chairs scraped across the white marble floor, but I gripped Mason’s arm before he could raise his fist.
God, I wanted Eastyn. I wanted him to take me away from this and tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted to feel his arms around me where I felt safe.
“Enough of this!” my dad seethed. The senior partners sat in silence, watching the commotion unravel before them. “Our firm is our priority, and having the best damn lawyers on our team is proof of that. Now, I won’t hear another word. Shay, you’ll do as you're told. You’ll take the LSAT’s in the fall, and you’ll spend next summer break as an intern. You’ll become an associate, and work hard over many years until you’re named partner.”
“And that’ll be the end of it,” my mom added. “Now that this scene is finally under control, the waiters can bring our food.” She lifted her glass with a shaky hand, and sipped her wine. “I ordered in advance, so not a word until we’ve finished.”
My shoulders moved up and down with my deep breaths, the sound ragged as I breathed in and out with rage coursing through me. I could barely contain the boulder deep inside of me and the angry tears that refused to be swallowed down.
“No,” I whispered.
“What?” my mom snapped.
I slowly turned to her. “You’re not going to dismiss me anymore. I’m not going to be a lawyer, and that’s final.” My dad opened his mouth but I spoke again. “You have no idea what I want, do you? You never have.” I stood from the table and picked up my black purse. “This dinner is a farce, and used only to show your colleagues your power of manipulation, but it’s not going to work this time. Until you can accept the choices I make for myself, I don’t want to see you—either of you.” I addressed the partners next. “I’m sorry you bore witness to this debacle. Please accept my sincerest apologies, and good luck in your endeavors.”
“Leaving so soon?” Ross asked, leaning back in his chair.
“Just like your wife,” Mason shot back, and my head spun to him. “Yeah, I’m your soon-to-be ex-wife’s lawyer.” He leaned down toward Ross’ ear, but I could hear every word. “You see, family law is so much more than what you think, Ross, and no matter how much corporate ass-kissing you do, nothing can stop her from taking everything from you. And, with how you’ve just shown everyone the asshole you really are, you’ve made it my number one mission to ensure that’s exactly what she gets.”
Ross’ face turned whiter than ever, and he swallowed hard. My brother may not be corporate, but he was as diabolical as the best of them when he needed to be, and Ross was going to find out the hard way.
Mason held his arm out for me to take, and when I did, he began to lead me out of the restaurant.
I turned toward the table one last time, and spoke directly to Ross. “Go fuck yourself.”
“Yes!” Mason bellowed, scaring the life out of me. He wrapped his arms around me, lifted me up and twirled me around before placing me back on the ground. “You did it, Shay. You showed them you’re not going to take their crap anymore.”
My throat tensed, and my stomach swirled. I swallowed the saliva filling my mouth and when my muscles heaved, I bolted for the first bush I could find. I threw up the entire contents of my stomach from ear
lier in the day, and continued to heave after it was gone. Acid burned my throat as my body attempted to expel contents that were no longer there, and when I finally came up for air, a bottle of water was held out in front of me.
I was glad of the cold liquid to wash out my mouth, and to take away the taste of bile from my tongue.
“Where did you get that?” I choked.
“My car,” Mason replied, thumbing over his shoulder to where he was parked a few feet away. “I’m proud of you, panda girl.”
“Thank you.” I turned around and sat on the small brick wall before my legs gave out.
“Hey, don’t cry.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as the first tears fell.
The entirety of the situation fell down on my like a ton of bricks that had finally snapped the last of the ropes holding them up. I sobbed into my hands as Mason pulled me against him while rubbing my back. My chest ached, and my stomach hurt from vomiting. I’d never had a confrontation like it in my life, and the weight of the moment pressed down on me more and more as my mind flashed to the indignant and furious faces of my parents as well as the confusion and embarrassment of their guests.
“I never wanted it to happen like this,” I cried. “I wanted to just talk it out with them, but when he showed up…”
“I didn’t know,” Mason said. “They never told me they’d accepted his internship.”
“Why did they have him come along, anyway?” I asked. “It doesn’t make sense. If he’s an intern, then why the hell would he be there?”
Mason teeth crunched as he clenched his jaw. “From what I know, is that him being there would spur you on to do better, like some sick competition to show him you’re far superior—that you’d do everything you could to ensure he knew it too.”
Well, that had backfired, because even though I wasn’t going to join them, they’d pushed me to the side for the final time.
“So, he’s getting divorced?” Getting married wasn't something I thought he’d do, let alone at a young age.
Mason chuckled. “Yeah. Attorney-client privilege, so I can’t tell you much, but he didn’t marry Jayne, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He grinned. “But, he did marry the girl he was cheating on her with.”
