Beast: Savages and Saints

by Seabrook, C. M.

  I push the thoughts away, knowing I finally need to step up and stop being a coward - to ask for what I’ve wanted all this time. Her.

  London is sitting on the couch, watching a show when I enter. She turns the TV off when she sees me, and stands. “Abbott, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t—”

  “I get it.” I walk toward her, taking it as a good sign that none of my stuff is lined up in boxes at the front door. “I haven’t given you many reasons to believe in me.”

  “That’s not true.” Her hands rest on my chest, fingers curling in my shirt. “But when I saw that woman with you.” She shakes her head. “God, I was so jealous. I thought...”

  I cup her face. “I love you, London. You’re the only woman I want. The only woman I’ve ever wanted.”

  She sucks in a breath. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  “Good.” I rest my forehead against hers. “Because I lied this afternoon. Even if you wanted me to go, I’m not giving you up without a fight.”

  “You never had to fight for me, Abbott. My heart has always belonged to you. Ever since you beat those two boys up because they were teasing me. I knew that day that my heart belonged to you. That I’d never meet anyone like you.”

  “You mean a screw-up,” I grunt. “I’m sure there’s plenty of us around.”

  She pulls back slightly and looks in my eyes. “You still blame yourself for everything?”

  I sigh. “I’ve made a lot of shitty decisions. Things I’ll always have to live with. But I think I’m finally figuring out that I can’t drown in the pain of it. If I do, I’ll never move forward. I’ll never be the man you’ve always told me I could be.”

  “You are that man, Abbott.”

  “I don’t know if I’m there yet. But I promise you I’m working on it.”

  Her arms wrap around my neck, hands cupping the back of my head, and she pulls my mouth to hers.

  I lose myself in the kiss, in her.

  “Rory’s sleeping,” she says against my lips. “If you...um...”

  It takes me a second to realize what she wants.

  “You’re sure, you’re okay?”

  “Yeah. But my body isn’t what it was, and—”

  “Your body is perfect,” I growl against her lips, picking her up, and carrying her to my room.

  I lay her on my bed and undress her slowly, even though I’m ravenous to bury myself inside her. But I need to take this slow, to show her how fucking much I need her. How much I love her.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I tell her when we’re naked, my cock heavy and pressed against her hip as I run my hand across her curves.

  Slowly, I push her thighs apart, kissing her mouth as I spread her legs. She moans against my lips, hips arching for more of my touch.

  Her fingers spear in my hair pulling me into a deeper kiss. Wild desperation pours from her, urging me to take her, to lose myself in her. It’s so damn easy to do, and yet I know I have to be gentle.

  Need pulsates through me, my cock is so fucking hard, and my balls are tight against my body.

  She lets out a whimper when my thumb finds her clit, and I start circling it, sinking one finger inside her.

  “Abbott.” My name is a smothered cry as I deepen the kiss.

  Hell, I never cared for kissing before. It was too intimate. But with London, I could lose myself in her lips. Lose myself in all of her.

  Her pussy is hot, and I can feel her juices saturating my fingers as I slide a second one inside her.

  “God, I love you,” I growl, her hips jerking in response as I stretch her sweet pussy, making her ready for my cock.

  “I need you,” she whimpers, the words filled with desperation. “I need you inside of me, Abbott.”

  I spread her thighs farther apart with my knee and bury myself inside her with one deep thrust. She gasps, eyes widening, her fingers gripping my biceps. I stay like that for a moment, locked in in gaze, my cock buried deep in her pussy.

  Sensations fuel emotions, and I’m overwhelmed by the intensity of it. Lust, love, need, desire, they whip through me and as I start to move inside of her, I know that right here, right now, is the closest I’ll probably ever come to heaven.

  “London,” I growl, kissing her again.

  I needed this, was desperate for it. To fill the depth of her pussy with hard hungry strokes. And by her whimpers and moans, I know she was too.

  It’s not long before I’m losing control, before the pleasure of her body is drawing me close to the edge of ecstasy.

  “Please,” she begs, hips arching with each thrust.

  “Come for me baby,” I groan.

  I watch her face as she comes, rapture making her eyes close, her body quiver. I thrust again, my release sudden and intense, spurting inside of her - marking her as my own.

  And in this moment, I know some integral part of my being is changed. Something is healed.

  The last pulses of my release leave me weak, and I rest my head against her shoulder, trying to catch my breath.

  “I love you, Abbott,” she says with a satisfied sigh.

  I push up, trying not to put all my body weight on her, but needing to do this right now. I kiss her. “Marry me,” I murmur against her lips.

  “What?” She pulls back, eyes wide.

  “I told you today, that you would have to make a choice tonight. Make the choice to be mine. Forever. Be my wife. Let me try to be the man you’ve always believed I was.” I rest my forehead against hers and take in a steadying breath. “Marry me, London.”

  “You’re serious?”

  I shift and lean over the bed, grabbing my jeans and searching for the ring box. It must have fallen out, because it’s not in there.

  “Shit,” I mumble, climbing out of bed, and getting on my hands and knees looking for it.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m looking for...” I find the box under the bed, grinning like a damn fool when I climb back onto the bed and hand it to her. “This.”

  Her fingers tremble as she opens it, and her eyes widen when she sees the ring. “Abbott.”

  “I know it’s not much. But after this fight, I’ll be able to afford to get you something bigger. I mean, that’s if you say yes.” Shit, I realize she hasn’t actually said anything yet. “I mean, I know it’s sudden, and you don’t have to give me an answer right now, but—”

  Her arms wrap around me and she kisses me hard. “Yes,” she says. “I want to marry you, Abbott.” Her mouth is still on mine, and she says between kisses, “I want to be your wife. And I want to spend forever with you.”

  “I love you.” Those three words have never been so easy to say. I cup her face. “But there’s one more thing I want to ask you though.”

  “What?”

  “I want to always make sure Rory knows who Kyle was, that we keep his memory alive for her. But...” I take her hand and kiss her knuckles. “One day I want to have more children with you, and I don’t want her to ever think that she’s anything less than them. I want her...” I’m stumbling over my words. “God, I’m not good at this.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “I want to adopt her.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes widen.

  “If you think that’s a bad idea—”

  “No.” She smiles and places her palm on my cheek. “I think it’s a wonderful idea. And I think I may have just fallen in love with you all over again, Abbott Savage.”

  Epilogue

  Abbott

  Four months later

  Kade gives a low whistle when he comes into the room. “You clean up good, little brother.”

  My oldest brother, Jasper, adjusts my tie for the twentieth time, and I push his hand away. “If it’s not perfect now, it never will be.”

  “If you’d leave it alone, it would be fine, but you keep tugging at it,” Jasper says, shaking his head at me.

  Damon places a hand on my shoulder and grins. “Shit, I can’t believe you’re
actually getting married.”

  “Your turn next,” Kade says to Jasper, smirking.

  “Not in this lifetime,” he mutters, taking a sip of his scotch.

  “You ready?” Liam asks, popping his head in the door.

  “Yeah.” I breathe out a long breath. Not because I’m nervous. Shit, I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. I would have married London the same day I proposed to her, but who knew planning a wedding would involve so many preparations.

  Plus, London wanted to make sure that the ceremony wasn’t close to any of my fights. She didn’t want my face black and blue for our pictures. Not that my last two opponents got any good blows.

  I knocked out the first guy in the third round, and the second guy didn’t even last twenty seconds. I’ve already signed a contract for two more televised fights, and Moody and Theo think it won’t be long before I get a chance at a title match.

  The money is good. Good enough that I was able to put a down payment on a lake house between Harristown and Port Clover. It’s not that big. Just a standard three-bedroom bungalow with a detached two car garage, but there’s enough land that if we want to expand we can.

  And it’s close enough to Harristown that we can drive into work but also close to my family. Quinn has already offered to help take care of Rory whenever London goes back to work - if she wants to.

  “You holding up okay?” Kade asks as we walk across Zee St. James’ lawn toward the beach where chairs and flowers have been set up.

  “Part of me just can’t believe this is happening.” I stick my fingers in my collar and tug, cursing under my breath when I realize I probably fucked up the tie again.

  “Yeah, neither can we,” Damon says, hitting my back and laughing. “I’m...” he coughs, his expression serious. “I’m proud of you, Abbott.”

  His comment takes me off guard, and I feel something heal between us. The fissure that I created, closing.

  “Just don’t fuck it up,” he says, breaking the moment.

  “I don’t plan on it.”

  The chairs are already filled when we walk down the makeshift aisle toward the minister. In the front row, my mom is holding Rory, and she wipes a tear away when she sees me, and my dad gives me a nod of approval.

  London’s mom sits stoically on the other side, her expression blank. She had a few words about London marrying me, but in the end, she accepted it as well as she could. And she’s here, and sober, from what I can tell.

  I glance out at the faces, friends and family. Moody and Theo are there with their wives and children. As well as my cousin, Makena, and her husband, Shane, one of the members of Wild Irish.

  Kade, Damon, and Jasper stand up with me, and I realize that they’ve always been there - beside me. I was just too caught up fighting my demons to realize they never left my side.

  I’m already choked up, emotions squeezing my chest before the traditional wedding march begins playing. I smile at my daughter, who is waving her chubby hands at me and babbling.

  My daughter.

  She is. Maybe not by blood, but in every way that matters. And I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she knows she’s loved and protected for the rest of her life.

  Not just because of Kyle, or London, but because Rory captured a piece of my heart the first time I held her in my arms.

  My niece Lola is the first to appear. Her smile is huge as she grabs handfuls of petals and lets them drop on the sand as she walks toward us. London’s friend, Monica, is next, followed by Quinn.

  The music changes tempo, and I see her.

  London.

  My life.

  My everything.

  “Holy shit,” I murmur, taking her in. The dress she wears is simple, elegant, and her hair falls down her back in soft waves. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I swear I forget to breathe.

  She takes Liam St. James’ arm and starts to walk toward me.

  Kade places a hand on my shoulder and I realize that tears are in my eyes. I wipe them away, wondering what my opponents would think seeing the Beast of Port Clover in tears.

  “You look so fucking beautiful,” I say, probably a little too loudly when London is standing in front of me.

  She lets out a shaky breath and smiles. Sunlight radiates from her. Light and warmth and strength and so much love. And I can’t help myself, I draw her into my arms and kiss her.

  “God, I love you,” I breathe against her lips.

  “I love you too,” she says, and I feel her smile against my mouth.

  The minister clears his throat and taps my shoulder. “We haven’t gotten to that part yet.”

  There is laughter and some applause before I pull myself away from her.

  “Sorry,” I say, even though I’m not.

  We go through the ritual, repeating the minister’s words and placing rings on each other’s fingers. But I know that despite all of this, London is already mine. She was mine a long time ago. I’d just been a coward to accept that I could be the man she deserved, the man she saw that I could be.

  And I worry that I’ll be too choked up to say my vows. But when the time comes, so do the words. “London,” I say, taking her hands. “I’ve never been good at emotions or words, hell pretty much nothing but using my fists. And honestly, there’s nothing I can ever say that could ever fully express how I feel about you.” I take a deep breath. “I didn’t think I’d ever be here. Didn’t think I’d ever be good enough for you. Still not sure I am.”

  I rub the back of my neck, knowing I probably sound like a babbling fool, but then she smiles, and I feel my nerves leave me.

  “London, you’re the air I breathed when I was suffocating. The light in my world when I saw nothing else but darkness. You saw me when I couldn’t see myself. You saved me...” I blink back the damn tears that fill my eyes again. “Shit, sorry.” I wipe them away with my palms and there are a few small chuckles and a lot of sighs.

  London takes my hand, those multi-colored eyes filled with love giving me the strength to continue.

  “London, I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” she whispers.

  “And I stand here today, in front of our friends and family, and promise to love you and protect you and try my damnedest to be the man you deserve.”

  I kiss her again, and I hear the minister grunt before saying, “I now pronounce you man and wife. You can keep kissing the bride.”

  There are cheers and more laughter, but I’m too consumed in my wife to notice anything but her.

  She’s crying now, and I brush my thumb across her cheeks wiping the tears away.

  We’re married,” she says.

  I chuckle. “There’s no getting rid of me now. You’re stuck with me. Forever.”

  “That’s the best promise you’ve ever made.”

  I kiss her again, wishing we were alone. But when I pull back, my arm around my wife’s waist, I see the happiness in my family’s faces, their need to be part of this moment.

  London is pulled away from me as we head up to the large tent where the reception is being held. And I have to hold back the urge to pull her back to me.

  “Don’t worry,” Kade says, giving me a knowing smile. “It’ll be over soon, and you’ll be on your honeymoon.”

  I smirk. “Is it that obvious?”

  “I just remember the feeling.”

  My mom and dad approach and I take Rory when she reaches for me.

  “Hey beautiful girl,” I say, kissing my daughter’s cheek. I’m not sure how London is going to handle being away from her for five days, but I know my mom is looking forward to watching her. “You’re going to be good for your grandma, right?”

  “She’ll be fine,” my mom says, smiling, tears in her eyes. And I swear I see pride there. Something I don’t ever remember seeing from my parents before.

  But then I’d been too busy looking inward to see the love that had always surrounded me.

  The recep
tion runs smooth, thanks to my sister Quinn who helped London organize everything.

  “Thank you,” I tell her when London and I are finally getting ready to leave. We’re spending the night in a hotel before flying to St. Lucia in the morning.

  Quinn just smiles. “You don’t know how happy I am for you.”

  “Yeah,” I say, hugging her. “I do.”

  London has a hard time pulling herself away from Rory, and I can feel her apprehension when we’re in the back of the limo, driving away.

  “She’ll be fine,” I tell her, pulling her into my lap. “My mom will take good care of her.”

  “I know. It’s just hard leaving her. I don’t know how I’m going to do it when I have to go back to work.”

  “Then don’t,” I tell her. “Or just work part-time. I want you to do what makes you happy.”

  She smiles, her arms wrapping around my neck. “You make me happy.”

  My cock is already hard, pressing against her hip. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her.

  She kisses me, her mouth as greedy for my lips as mine is, and her fingers tug at my tie, then start to unbutton my shirt. “You know it’s a good thirty minutes until we get to the hotel.”

  I chuckle as she unbuttons the last button on my shirt and her palms run up my abs. “I’m not sure how sound proof that glass is.”

  She glances to where the driver is and blushes. “I’m sure he’s used to it.”

  I graze my teeth across the sensitive flesh on her neck and feel her tremble. “As soon as we get to the hotel room, I’m going to strip this dress off you and sink deep inside your sweet pussy.”

  She sucks in a breath, then laughs. “You’ve got a dirty mouth.”

  “And it’s all yours,” I say, cupping her jaw and kissing her hard. “Every part of me is yours, London.”

  Her fingers flutter over the new ink on my chest, and she pulls back slightly, reading the script.

  Underneath the old quote, He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man, I had a new quote written.

  “He who accepts his failures and learns from them, can overcome the beast and be the man he was destined to become.” London smiles when she says the words. “I like that. Who said it?”