By the time Ramón stopped for the midday meal, his captive was awake and snarling fit to burst. Raven snorted and pranced with every sound Anton made, and finally Ramón was forced to pull him from his mount to avoid an accident. He would have laughed if it were not so tragic. The brave and handsome Captain Vard Anton had been reduced to a savage animal, clad in rags, bound hand and foot because he couldn’t be trusted to act like a civilized human being. It was not only tragic but concerning. Ramón couldn’t bring him before Alecia like this. She would simply not cope while in such a terrible state herself.
He grabbed another rope and tied Anton to a tree. His eyes were glazed and unfocused but at least he had survived his capture, which was more than he deserved, in Ramón’s opinion. But how was he to prepare the man for presentation to the princess? It was a hopeless cause, far better to knock him on the head and present the body. But would Alecia accept his death wasn’t Ramón’s fault? She was stubborn and in love with this animal, and on top of that she was hardly likely to be rational when in such pain. That was if she still lived. Anything could have occurred in the weeks he’d been gone.
He shook his head as he stared down at his captive. What manner of creature was this before him? What had befallen him that he had sunk this low? The feral eyes with their golden specks glinted at him, nothing but malice in their depths.
“You’ve lost everything you ever had, Anton,” he said, squatting just out of reach, his sword across his legs. “And because of your actions, Alecia might very well lose her life. The Princess Alecia. Does that mean anything to you?”
He paused to judge the effect of his words, but aside from a narrowing of eyes, there was no change to the snarling expression. “Princess Alecia could be dying,” he shouted. “I’m taking you to her, but she can’t see you in this condition.”
Despair swept like a cold wind through his heart and he shuddered. He didn’t want to be in this position, dealing with a madman, Alecia’s life hanging in the balance. He wanted to be by her side, to bring her babe into the world, and to hold its mother’s hand perhaps for the last time in life. What good could this animal possibly be in that situation? Even more, he wished to be back with Benae, to know she was safe and that their child was too.
He turned away in disgust and dug a small fire pit. Once a pot of water was heating over the flames, he dug dried beef and a hard knob of cheese from his pack and offered them one at a time to Anton on a stick. He took them in his teeth and ate them, a frown creasing his brow. Ramón didn’t understand. Anton’s mind had snapped under the Goddess only knew what forces, and Ramón was not equal to the task of healing the shreds of Anton’s sanity. He didn’t even want to heal the man.
The pot boiled and Ramón made tea. The aromatic liquid lent its scent to the pines of the clearing and Anton’s nose twitched. Perhaps the more familiar sights, sounds and aromas of human habitation could bring him back from wherever it was he dwelt. Ramón sat across the fire from Anton and sang the lullaby that most kingdom babes had crooned to them in the cradle. It wasn’t a tuneful rendition, but Anton relaxed a little. The song finished and the men sat staring at each other, Ramón at a loss as to what to do now.
Perhaps conversation could help. “I’ve been sent by Princess Alecia to bring you back to her, Anton.” The eyes narrowed again. “She loves you; the Goddess knows why. But I’ll not be able to bring you before her like this. Do you remember Alecia?”
The muscles of Anton’s throat moved convulsively. “Alecia?” he croaked, more of a growl than words, but Ramón understood. Perhaps a spark of humanity remained. His stomach clenched at the thought of this dog beside Alecia’s bed.
“Yes, Alecia. She loves you and needs you back.”
He stood to emphasize his point and Anton lurched backward snarling. Ramón instantly went still, hands outstretched, eyes lowered. “I won’t hurt you unless I have to.” Was that true? “But I can’t let her see you like this. You must remember Alecia.”
He seated himself slowly, eyes still lowered, and began crooning the lullaby once more, the nursery song foreign in the wilderness. When he dared look up again, he found Anton observing him with eyes that seemed a little more human than they had moments before.
Ramón stood and readied for departure. He untied Anton from the tree and tethered the rope to his black mare. He mounted and moved out of the clearing, Anton following, his posture crouched over his hands. It was all Ramón could do to control his horse. Raven snorted and fussed, starting forward, only to pull up and then start forward again. He couldn’t understand it, but then observed the horse’s reaction when Vard happened to touch its tail. Raven trembled so much Ramón was sure she’d collapse.
He halted. Clearly, Raven perceived Vard Anton to be a threat. He unsettled the horse worse than anything Ramón had yet encountered. Raven was accustomed to boar and lion hunts and was even battle trained. Ramón shook his head, wondering at the true state of his prisoner. Was this just insanity, or something else entirely? He looked at Vard Anton who straightened his posture, meeting his open stare with challenge in his gaze.
“Come, we must continue.” Ramón turned forward. “I’ll talk as we ride.”
They journeyed thus for the remainder of the day, Ramón talking and singing soldiering songs of battle and swordfights and glory, Vard seeming to grow more human and less animal as the afternoon wore on. But at last the day took its toll and he could go no further. He slumped behind Raven, and the mare snorted and reared, causing Ramón to nearly lose his seat.
“May as well stop here,” he said, dismounting and tying Anton’s rope to the nearest tree. Anton groaned and rolled closer to the tree to take the pressure off his wrists. “Are you well, man?” Ramón asked.
Anton looked at him. “My head aches.” His voice was still croaky, but he made more sense than he had in a while.
Ramón found a shred of pity within him. He had hit his head exceedingly hard and then forced the man to trek all day. Small wonder he was in poor condition. “I’ll prepare some food and you’ll feel better. Here,” he handed him a cup of water, “this will help.”
Anton downed the water as if it were his last drink and closed his eyes. Ramón watched, wondering if he had pushed him too hard. What if he came this far only to lose his prisoner? He shook his head at his folly and prepared the cold meal.
Vard’s head pounded as they sat gnawing at the dried beef and hard cheese. This man had caused the injury to his head. He thought fleetingly that it would be pleasing to have the soft flesh of that tanned throat between his jaws. He shook the thought away and was rewarded with a crushing ache in his skull. The numbing fog that had encased his thoughts over the past weeks had lifted somewhat but he couldn’t remember what had brought him to this place, this situation. The blond man before him looked familiar, but Vard couldn’t place him either.
The man who called himself Ramón cleared his throat. “I’m taking you to see Alecia. She carries your child and is due any day. You do remember the princess, don’t you?”
A small frown creased Vard’s brow. The name of the woman caused a sharp pang of sorrow within him. He didn’t know if he wished to remember. “Describe her to me.” His voice was still gravelly after the long weeks of misuse, his throat sore.
“She’s beautiful, tall, with long blonde hair. A buxom lass with a smile that lights her face. I can’t believe you could have forgotten her. Here, I have her likeness painted on the cover of my flint box.”
Ramón pulled a small metal box from his vest. A girl with long fair hair and lilac eyes smiled at Vard from the lid. Ramón was right, her smile did light her face and her eyes. . . He had known eyes like that but it felt like another life away. He stared at the picture until Ramón put the box back in his pocket.
What had he said? She was with child? His child? He stared at his captor and watched him tense, his right hand reaching for his sword. Vard tried not to glare so hard. “You said she was with child?”
“D
on’t you remember anything? This is important, man!”
“Answer my question.”
“Yes, I said she was with child and it’s yours. She may be dying as we speak. The babe is breech and the midwife has said she can’t deliver it. Alecia has decreed that it must be cut from her, and if that happens, she’ll die.”
“You sound very sure.”
“I know she can’t survive a knife in the belly. She’ll lose too much blood. I saw it happen to my own sister.”
Vard thought of those lilac eyes and suddenly the memory of a girl in a cream gown at a ball came to him.
“You remember something.” Ramón leaned forward, the light of triumph in his gaze.
“Yes, a ball and… Alecia… in a cream gown.”
“That was the night of her betrothal.” A shadow crossed his face as though the recollection was unpleasant. “I’ve never seen her more beautiful, but it was the beginning of all this in a way.”
Vard closed his eyes against the confusing words. All he wanted was to be left alone with his pain, not to be dragged across the countryside to see some girl who declared he was her babe’s father. But there was that tantalizing glimpse of a beautiful woman and then… Fear? Fear in those lilac eyes, in a garden at night. Fear that he would attack her. It was a different memory, more distant, and seen through a mist.
Something clicked in his skull and he stepped closer to the events of the past, a pace closer to a life he didn’t think he wanted to reclaim. There was pain there, the pain of loss, of death, of betrayal, and the certainty his life would mean another’s death, over and again. He shook his head and rolled his back to Ramón. “I’ll sleep now.”
The morning brought a cool wind and rain that swept at Vard from dark clouds. His sleep had been restless, full of accusing violet eyes, the face of a dark sorcerer, the fear of death, and worse. His shoulder and side ached upon waking, and when he pulled his tunic up a healed wound throbbed at his waist. Vard found he could finally remember the event that had caused his injuries.
He heard a sudden intake of breath and looked across the campfire to find Ramón staring at his scar. “What the devil?”
Vard pulled his tunic down over the wound. Why did it still ache? “A fight some time back. I sought help from a sorcerer who then betrayed me. He’s now dead.”
“You can remember?”
“Some.”
“You remember Alecia?”
“Some, enough to know she won’t want to see me.” His voice was smoother today but his mood was still rough, still full of the discomfort of not knowing his place.
“You are the father of her child.”
Ramón’s low words, delivered with quiet intensity, assailed him, made him feel he had been dropped from a height and landed on his head. “I don’t know the truth anymore.”
“You’re saying you don’t believe her?”
Ramón was too indignant. Did he love the princess? Vard seemed to remember a younger man with stars in his eyes. Could the princess have put them there?
“Goddess!” Ramón said, leaping to his feet as if he’d defend Alecia’s honor on the spot. “She wouldn’t lie about such a thing.”
“She would if she didn’t know she was lying, if she didn’t know she had been with another man. That sorcerer implied intimate knowledge of the princess. Perhaps the babe is his?”
“No.” Ramón shook his head, the thick blond locks sweeping across his eyes.
Vard almost smiled. This man was far more deserving of Alecia’s regard than he was, and yet she had clearly seen him as a friend, not a lover. A sharp picture of Ramón trying to force himself on Alecia in the garden the night of her betrothal came to Vard and he hesitated. The jumbled images in his mind didn’t make sense. His head ached, and all he wished for was a soft bed and to be left alone. “I can’t deal with this now.”
“That is not an option. Another day and we’ll reach the farm where the princess now resides. You must prepare to meet her and to accept what you see. Tell me how you’ll do this.”
“How can I do that when I don’t know myself, literally. I can see you love the princess. Why would you bring me to her to complicate matters?”
“I once loved her, but I’ve made a life of my own with a wonderful woman. Now all I feel for her is loyalty and friendship, just as she always wanted. She charged me with bringing you to her because she knows she may die, and she wishes to see you; for you to know your child. I know she loves you. Did you ever love her?”
“My memory is still hazy, jumbled. The strongest feeling is guilt. I’ve done something to her which I don’t believe she can forgive, but I can’t remember what. I think I must have loved her once but perhaps it doesn’t matter now. Perhaps she would be better off without me?”
Ramón stared. “I won’t argue against that, but Alecia wants to see you and I can’t ignore her request. I can’t understand why she loves you, but she does.”
Vard laid his head against the tree behind him and closed his eyes. “Leave me here and return to her. She’ll be happier in every way without me.”
Ramón shook his head, but his expression showed torment. “There’s nothing I’d like better, but I gave my solemn promise I’d find you and bring you to her.”
“You can’t be blamed if I won’t return.”
“Don’t tempt me!”
Word by word, Vard’s memory was returning, and he could clearly measure Ramón’s growth over the past months. The naïve young man had become a formidable adversary, and his loyalty to the princess was unwavering. But could he leave his love to the protection of this man?
Shock robbed him of breath. His love! Love… The word resonated deep within. In a rush, all his memories flooded back, along with the feelings, good and bad.
Alecia was indeed his love, and more precious to him than his own life. It was why he had left her, so she could be safe - from him. But he had to see her one last time. To hold her in his arms and tell her he loved her. From what Ramón said, it could be the last time she’d hear that in this life. Goddess! She might already be dead.
Vard met Ramón’s gaze, not flinching from the angry light that blazed there. “I remember all that has passed between Alecia and myself. She is precious to me beyond all imagining.”
Ramón snorted. “That’s why you abandoned her, leaving her to bear her child alone?”
“I didn’t know about the child! How could I?”
“What do you intend now? Are you man enough to face her? Knowing you brought about her ruin?”
Vard allowed the words to make their full mark, to score the wounds so clearly intended. He deserved no less after his behavior. “I’ll return with you and speak to Alecia. I owe her that.”
“You owe her that and more than you can ever repay.” Ramón’s anger accused him, made him ashamed. The squire that Vard had so easily dismissed had proved to be more of a man than he ever could. He’d have been a worthy husband for Alecia.
He faced Ramón squarely, so he’d know he could trust the words he needed to say. “Can you take care of her, Ramón?”
“What do you think I’m trying to do?”
“No. I mean, pick up where I left off. Save her. Take care of the child. All the things I won’t be able to do.”
Ramón shook his head. “I’d gladly do so but you’re not making sense. You said you’d return.”
Vard nodded. “Yes, and I will, but I can’t stay. I’d put them at risk. They’ll need a good man to care for them.”
Ramón flinched as if the words hurt him. “A good man, you say.”
“Yes, that’s you. I see that now.”
“No. If Alecia were to know everything about me, she’d hate me.”
Vard shook his head. “We’re not speaking of your sins but mine.”
Ramón looked at him and Vard saw fear. “Have you ever ordered a man assassinated?”
“No, but I’ve killed several.”
“I have paid with my own money to have a
man killed,” Ramón said, his eyes downcast. He looked back at Vard. “You. I ordered that assassin in the garden that night.”
Vard pulled the memory from the depths of the fog that had enveloped his brain over the past weeks. “So that was your doing. Why?” He couldn’t be angry with Ramón, not after all that had passed.
“Jealousy. I knew Alecia had feelings for you that she didn’t have for me. I thought perhaps with you out of the way she’d transfer that regard to me. If she discovers what I’ve done, she’ll hate me.”
“What you did was stupid in the extreme. Do you know how close she came to dying that night?”
“I know she could have easily been killed by those darts,” Ramón said. “Perhaps one day I’ll be able to reveal my part in that night, but not now. She’d never understand.”
“I’m content to leave it thus as long as you can promise to care for her when I’m gone.”
“If she survives the birth, I’ll care for both and see the princess happily married. You need have no fear for her.”
Vard smiled through his pain, knowing Alecia might have the chance for happiness with another man. It wouldn’t be with him, but she had never had the chance of happiness with him. He reached out and shook Ramón’s hand, approving of the strength and certainty he felt in the other’s grip.
Chapter 19
Alecia screamed the sound of a wild animal in torment. The stabbing pain in her abdomen faded slowly to a dull ache and she rested her head back on the pillow, looking across at Dana. She looked almost as exhausted as Alecia felt, and worry enhanced the fine lines beside her eyes. She sat in a chair beside the bed and a large knife lay on the bedside table. Dana’s eyes kept returning to the knife, and each time they did she trembled.
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