Sometime within the last sixteen hours of labor, Alecia had released her fear of death. It would be an escape from the pain she felt with each contraction. The babe should have been born long ago, and Dana had declared his life at risk if he wasn’t born soon. She had indeed been right about his position. Only his little bottom showed in her birth canal, and Dana had applied all her skill to try to push him away so she could seize his feet. But her efforts had been in vain. Alecia’s body persisted in trying to force the babe from her womb even though it was an impossible feat. Soon they would have no choice but to cut it from her belly. It might already be too late.
Where was Vard? She must see him before she died. She must tell him of the child and extract from him a promise to look after it. Now it was too late. He’d never arrive before her life blood drained away. Already Dana rose to insert the knife into the fire.
Fear returned to Alecia, stabbing through her heart and into her abdomen to join the agony already there. “I’m not ready, Dana,” she said. “Hold my hand.”
She turned, stark pity and fear in her gaze. “I wish there was more I could do, Alecia, but the time we had is spent, and now action must be taken or both of you will die.”
She reached out and took Alecia’s hand in hers. Alecia could feel the rough calluses from long days of work on the farm.
“I’ll be quick,” Dana said. “Perhaps heating the knife will stop some of the blood loss. I’ll call Thom. He can hold the babe while I sew.”
“Give the babe to me, Dana. I must hold him once before I die.”
Dana stared at her as though she couldn’t believe what she heard, what she must do. She nodded. “I’ll give him to you if you’re conscious, but Thom must be ready.”
Alecia shook her head. Surely it wouldn’t be that quick? She wouldn’t die as soon as her womb was opened. She’d have hours to hold her young one before her last breath. She agreed anyway.
“After the next contraction, I’ll perform the cut. You’ll soon hold your babe. I’ll fetch Thom.”
Dana was back in moments, her frightened husband at her heels, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here.
“Give her your knife, Thom. She can bite down on the handle now, and later when I cut.”
Her husband handed his knife to Alecia reluctantly, his eyes wide.
“Grasp her shoulders when the contraction passes and hold her still.”
The contraction hit and Alecia bit down on the wood, her scream gurgling past the handle, saliva dripping down her chin. She didn’t want to die, wasn’t ready after all to give her life for her child. Who could be ready for a thing like that? She had much life to live. She would not be a corpse, cold in the grave, her life cut short and a child left to wonder what could have been. Vard where are you? Ramón why did you let me down? Pain tore at her abdomen and she felt the dark edge of oblivion calling. She could fight no more. Terror that they might have left the cut too late swept over her and her gaze sought Dana.
“I’m here, Alecia, and I’m ready.” She brandished the knife, the edge glowing red. “I’ll cut as soon as the pain begins to fade. You must tell me.”
“Soon, Dana,” Alecia panted. “Soon.” She breathed short puffing breaths, feeling the agony begin to recede. “Now.”
Dana exposed her belly and ran her hand across the muscles she would soon cut. Thom turned his face away, his hands pressing against Alecia’s shoulders. She lay her head against the pillow, ready for the sharp stab of hot knife across her abdomen. Soon now, soon. She closed her eyes and spoke a quick prayer to the Goddess for the strength to endure what must be endured.
A blast of cold air struck her as the bedroom door flew open and slammed against the wall. Ramón stood in the doorway, and a shaggy man with dark hair loomed behind him.
“Vard! You came.” She’d know those eyes anywhere.
Vard swept Thom Andra from the bed and perched there, his ragged clothes leaving grit on the bedspread. “What do you do?” he asked, glaring at Dana. He laid his hands on Alecia’s belly and she felt the child leap within her. “Take that knife away. It’s not time yet.”
“It’s past time,” Dana hissed as she watched Vard run his hands all over Alecia’s abdomen. “Stupid man, we’ll lose both of them if we don’t act now.”
Alecia watched him closely, his eyes closed as he felt over her. With each touch the babe leapt, as if he felt his father and wanted to know him.
“The babe moves,” she panted. Agony ripped through her as the hands of her beloved roved over her stomach. She screamed and Dana stood, trying to pull his arms away.
“What are you doing?” Dana said, brandishing the knife at Vard.
Alecia could not believe this was happening now, when all that mattered was the babe. She gasped as Vard plucked the knife from Dana’s hand and hurled it into the window frame. Thom pulled his wife away to the safety of the corner of the room, but Ramón stepped up to Alecia’s side and put his hand on Vard’s shoulder.
“Do you know what you’re doing, man?” he asked.
Vard’s hands had stilled on her lower abdomen and Alecia cried out as the babe surged upward. She screamed one last desperate primeval sound, and all went black.
What have I done? Vard removed his hands from Alecia’s abdomen but the violent movements continued as though a giant snake writhed within. He reached out and touched her throat. Her pulse beat a faint, fast rhythm but she was alive. His gaze locked back onto the rounded belly before him. Horror that he might have pushed Alecia over the precipice into death froze him.
Her stomach continued to move for long moments, the only sound the heavy breathing of the people in the room. Alecia he couldn’t hear at all, her face pale as a sheet and her hands cold to touch. He reached for both of her hands, rubbing them together between his for warmth.
“Come back to us, my darling. Our child needs both of us, the love of the two people who made her. She is ready to be born.”
Alecia’s unborn child gave two great heaving movements and was still. Dana came forward.
“I would examine her if I might, Captain?” She looked at Ramón. “Could you wrap some bricks and place them alongside her, My Lord?”
Dana laid her hands upon Alecia’s belly, feeling all over it as Vard had just done. Her eyes were wide as she completed her check. “The babe has moved. I’ve never seen the like of it. I would swear his head is now down and ready to be born.”
She continued to stare at Vard as if he were a strange new animal.
Hope surged in his heart, tempered with fear for his love. Alecia must be close to death to be so cold and look so pale. “The babe has turned? She can now be born without harm to Alecia?”
“I didn’t say that, Captain.” She laid the wrapped bricks Ramón brought alongside Alecia under the blankets. “The princess is exhausted, and the pain has sent her into shock. That can kill as surely as blood loss. Keep talking to her.”
Alecia let out a long groan and rocked her head from side to side.
“All is well, my darling,” Vard said, chaffing her hands together. “Our babe has turned and is waiting to be born.”
Alecia groaned again but her eyes remained closed.
“I need you to rouse, Alecia, and help our babe be born. Come back to me. Come back to our child.”
Dana trickled some water from a cup past Alecia’s pale lips. She swallowed and coughed but her head remained limp on the pillow. “She’s exhausted I think, and so is her womb. Her body needs sustenance to bear this child. Warm her and keep talking to her. I’ll fetch a broth that might help.”
Dana left the room with her husband, but Vard only had eyes for Alecia. She was so pale, so unresponsive. “What’s wrong? Why can’t she hear me?”
He felt a hand on his shoulder. “She can hear you, man,” Ramón said. “Just keep talking.”
Vard nodded and straightened his shoulders, determined he wouldn’t give up. He leant forward so his breath caressed Alecia’s cheek and pla
ced his body alongside hers, his arm across her. “I love you. I know I’ve wronged you but come back to me and bear our child. We’ll rejoice in her life.”
Alecia’s head twisted from side to side and she groaned as a contraction hit her, the muscles of her belly going rock hard. But he detected no pushing to ease the passage of the child. “You must push, Alecia.” He pulled her forward and sat behind her, his legs either side, his arms wrapped around her. Fear gripped him stronger than he had ever felt. He couldn’t lose her, but in this situation, he had no power, no skills to ensure success. She sagged back into him as the contraction passed, her head lolling against his left shoulder.
Dana returned and trickled a dark watery broth into Alecia’s mouth. She swallowed half of it before the next contraction hit.
Dana rested her hands on Alecia’s abdomen as the contraction ran its course. “That was a good strong one,” she said. “If only we can beseech her to push, we’ll have this babe born.” Her eye fell upon the knife jutting from the window frame and a tear escaped her eye. She looked at Vard. “You turned the babe. How?”
“It wasn’t me. She turned herself.”
Dana frowned at him but Vard couldn’t let her speculate on what she had seen. He didn’t understand it himself.
“Vard?” The soft voice drew his gaze below and a pair of lilac eyes looked up at him. “I’m so tired. I can’t push him out. It must be the knife.”
“No, darling. The babe has turned. She is ready to be born but you must help her.”
“Really? She?”
“Yes, sweetheart. With the next contraction you must push and push hard.” He looked to Dana who nodded her agreement. “Can you do that for me?”
Alecia squeezed her eyes tightly shut and then looked up at him again. “I’ll do it.”
Dana gave her more broth as they waited, her hand upon Alecia’s stomach so she could predict the next contraction.
“Now,” she said. “Alecia, you’re nearly there. Just a few pushes and we can greet your babe.”
Vard gripped each of her hands in his own and she squeezed them as she bore down upon the child within.
Dana positioned herself between Alecia’s legs. “I see the head,” she said. “Another push, Alecia.”
Vard closed his eyes to shut out the sight of her tortured body. He had caused this, and if she died it was his fault. She bore down again, and Dana cried out.
“The head, I can see him.” She reached forward. “Next contraction you must give the biggest push of all.”
Alecia sagged back against Vard, her chest heaving. “I can’t do it.”
“I’ll help,” Dana said.
Vard looked for Ramón and found him standing behind Dana, his eyes round with shock. “I never imagined…”
“If you can’t be of help, I suggest you leave.” The hairs on Vard’s neck fairly bristled at the sight of Ramón staring at Alecia’s womanly parts. He turned his attention back to Alecia as Ramón left the room.
“Vard, I don’t think I have the strength to push our babe out.” She craned her neck to look into his eyes, her lilac gaze slicing straight into his heart and melting the resistance he had so carefully built over the preceding months.
“All will be well, darling. You’re brave and strong and I believe in you. I hope our babe will be just like you.” He kissed her cheek and found it cold. He swallowed down the fear and gripped her fingers again. “When the pains come, you must push as never before, and it will be over.”
She nodded and turned back to stare between her knees at Dana, who had one hand on the babe’s head and the other on Alecia’s belly.
“Here it comes. Push now.”
Vard held his breath as Alecia bore down. “Vard,” she moaned, drawing his name out in a long, tight exhalation that destroyed any lingering reservations he had about his woman. Dana pulled on the babe’s head gently and the child slid onto a blanket that lay on the bed.
Alecia’s head lolled against his shoulder and Vard thought his heart would stop beating at the sight of his child. His daughter. Somehow, he had known Alecia bore a daughter. His intuition had been confirmed as Dana rolled the child to her side and scooped matter from her mouth.
“Is she…?” he said, easing himself from behind Alecia and laying her back against the pillows. He didn’t know what to do, torn between Alecia and the babe, his heart split in two. There were no cries. Had he been too late? No, the babe had turned and been delivered with all speed after that. She was strong and healthy and there would be a sound soon. Not like his love – Alecia’s face was pale and her breath shallow.
“Alecia, love,” he said. “Open your eyes.” He pulled the blankets up to her chin, positioning the warmed stones closer to her body. “Alecia!”
Her eyes fluttered but he could detect no other response. “Mistress Andra, she’s ill.” His desperate gaze sought the farm wife who thrust the babe at him.
“She hasn’t taken her first breath yet,” Dana said. “Sit and place her over your knee head down and gently pat her back until she cries.”
Vard’s hands shook as he complied, his brain unable to register anything else but the tiny body of his daughter on his lap. He tapped her back twice with his fingertips, but nothing happened.
“Harder,” Dana said. “Harder still.”
Vard flinched as he delivered firm slaps to the tiny back. “It’s not working.” Panic seized him as it never had before. His frantic gaze locked onto Mistress Andra where she chaffed Alecia’s hands and murmured to the unconscious woman.
“Swing her by the feet and smack her bottom. Allow the blanket to fall but remember she is still attached to her mother.”
Vard again did as he was told, fearful the child would slip from his grasp. Her skin was velvet soft beneath his calloused fingers as he slapped her tiny bottom. It felt so wrong, but suddenly there was a small gasp and an indignant bellow escaped from the mouth of his red-faced daughter.
Vard looked up to find Mistress Andra beaming and even Alecia’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of her child.
“You may wrap her again and present her to her mother,” Dana said, an amused smile lifting the corners of her mouth as she watched Vard standing with his daughter swinging upside down from his fingers.
He quickly laid his daughter on the bed and wrapped her inexpertly in the blanket. She hollered anew at the experience until he laid her upon her mother’s chest and Alecia spoke.
“Hello, my little babe,” she said. “I’ve labored long to bring you into this life, and I’m so glad to see you.”
Vard felt he intruded and inched away. His eyes fell upon the cord that still connected his daughter to Alecia and suddenly it was all too much. He shouldn’t be here, a witness to this intensely personal time. He didn’t deserve Alecia’s love, or this new life she had created. He was almost at the door before Alecia’s voice stopped him.
“I need you.” It was barely a whisper, but it cut straight to the center of his being. He turned to find the infant suckling at Alecia’s breast. Had there ever been a more perfect picture of life and love than these two, together and complete? He walked back to the bed and knelt at her side.
“I love you, Vard,” she said. “We have much to discuss, but I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t leave. At least not yet.”
He bent and brushed his lips against hers, the brief touch still invoking that shiver of anticipation they always had. “I’ll be right outside.” He pressed his lips to hers again and this time she kissed him back. He pulled away before the kiss could deepen further, conscious of Mistress Andra at work near them. With a last caress, he left mother and daughter to their rest.
Alecia stared out the window of her bedroom, her babe at her breast, and a gnawing fear in her stomach. It wasn’t her weakness that caused her upset, or her babe, but a nagging uncertainty about what the future might hold. Vard had returned, but behind his gold-flecked gaze lurked a wildness more acute than ever. What had befallen him during hi
s absence? How did he feel about his child? Would he abandon her all over again?
Sunflowers bumped their huge golden petals against her windowsill and a glorious sunset lit the mountains to the west. The peace of this remote farm had been all that kept her sane these past months, but she sensed the time approaching when she’d have to leave this place and take her rightful role in society. Her exile was almost at an end, but what would that mean? She looked down upon the dark hair of her daughter and marveled at the instant love she felt for the tiny mite. She was perfect in every way, and invoked a fierce protective instinct in Alecia that made her want to ensure that no one ever hurt her. Deep sadness at her own childhood washed over her. How could her father have treated her with such lack of regard? And now he was gone, with no hope of the reconciliation she had dreamed of.
Ramón poked his head around the door. “May I enter?”
“Of course.” Alecia smiled at her old friend and drew the blankets across her exposed chest. “Thank you for bringing him back.” What else could she add to that? He had proven his worth in finding Vard and delivering him to her, a feat that couldn’t have been easy.
“You know I’d do anything for you, Princess. What will you call her?”
“We have yet to decide.”
He nodded. “What will you do now?”
“First I’ll recover from the birth and acquaint myself with my daughter. After that, I don’t know.”
“Return to Brightcastle. Benae and I will help with your daughter. You’ll live the life of a princess and your people will welcome you with open arms.”
“I must speak with Vard.”
Dread swept across his face. “Did you see the state he was in? That was civilized compared to the way I found him in the woods. Insanity doesn’t come close to describing it.” He fell silent for a time, his fists bunched tight. “I wish I’d killed him when I had the chance.”
“No, you don’t,” she said quietly. “You could never be responsible for the death of another.”
He took a step back from the bed as Vard came into the room.
Princess in Exile Page 17
