Dark Revel

by E. A. Copen

  The side street was still plenty crowded, though at least I wasn’t brushing up against people with every step. There was enough room to breathe, even if the alley stank of urine and beer. I used the alley to cut down a few blocks and turn right into another alley, this one almost completely empty. I felt why when I stepped into it. Someone had woven a spell at the entry way to discourage people from coming that way. Just passing over it made me nauseous and sweaty. I pushed through the feeling to make it halfway down the alley to where Adelard’s shop door was and knock three times.

  A small section of the door slid aside, and two beady eyes peered out. “Closed today. Closed today. Tomorrow too. Come back on Thursday.” He started to slide it closed.

  “Now, wait just a minute.” I thrust my hand into the opening and instantly regretted it. Adelard didn’t stop trying to close it just because my fingers were in the way.

  “Move it or lose it!” Adelard sneered.

  “Baron Samedi sent me! Said you had some suits for me.”

  He slid the peephole open a little more and looked me up and down. “You again. Ungrateful Horseman. Yes, I remember you. Destroyed my suit the first time you wore it. Don’t think I forgot that.”

  “I wasn’t planning on resurrecting mummies and swimming in a fae ocean,” I said defensively. “Look, I really need the suit. Fate of the world and all that. You going to let me in or do I have to break down the door?”

  “One minute, one minute.” He closed the peephole and undid several locks before pulling open the door. “Come in, come in.” Adelard was about four feet tall with an oversized hook nose and tufts of gray hair that hung in a thin strip about halfway down his head. He wore thin, wire-rimmed glasses low on his nose and a permanent scowl to accompany his buck teeth. He wasn’t easy to look at, but then from my understanding, most leprechauns weren’t.

  Adelard turned away from the door and waddled further into his shop without another word.

  I ducked through the low door and followed.

  Unlike most tailors, Adelard’s wasn’t the sort of place where you went in and picked out a ready-made outfit. He had swaths of fabric lying around, sample books, and example shirts, jackets and pants hanging everywhere. He’d take your measurements, and a giant spider in the back would weave the suit to your specifications. The last suit I’d gotten was not only really comfortable and light, but also bulletproof. Not bad for something constructed of magic spider butt rope.

  “Come, come,” Adelard growled impatiently and held aside a curtain. “Back here.”

  I crossed the shop and followed him to the back room. Several garment racks waited around, mostly empty. The ones that weren’t had garment bags with monogramed name tags. Looked like Adelard had made suits recently for lots of important people and gods. Hades’ suit hung alone on a rack. I tried not to notice it, focusing instead on the spider woman doing the weaving.

  Adelard’s seamstress wasn’t really a spider, but she had four arms and four legs. Two of her arms were busy pushing fabric through a sewing machine while one foot worked the pedal. The other two were hand stitching something. Her three remaining feet, she was using to turn the pages of a paperback romance novel; two to hold the book in place and one to turn the pages.

  All her work halted when I stepped in. She smiled at me, showing dimples and stood, folding her hands. “Why, Lazarus! So good to see you back!”

  Adelard came out pushing a whole rack of suits in varying shades of blue and gray.

  “Wow, I didn’t expect so many.” I reached out to touch one and got my hand smacked for the trouble.

  The spider woman came over excitedly. “And for what purpose will you be dressing this evening? Business or pleasure?”

  “A little of both, but mostly business,” I answered.

  Her hands pushed away three of the suits. “Will there be any blood?”

  I cringed. “Probably.”

  She removed one suit. “Blades or bullets today?”

  “Blades, definitely.”

  She moved two more suits aside and smiled at me again, adjusting her horn-rimmed glasses, which hung on a pink chain. “Will you be dancing tonight?”

  I frowned. “I don’t really dance, but it is a masquerade. I’ll do my best to avoid it.”

  The spider woman plucked a charcoal gray suit from the rack along with a green shirt and held both up to me. “The fabric is stain-resistant, but not stain-proof. Both the jacket and the shirt have tactical linings and enchantments that will make it as effective as chainmail. Enchanted blades may pass through, however. There are pressure points here, here and here.” She gestured to the chest and shoulder areas. “They will activate on impact to absorb some of the damage, protecting you against broken bones to some degree.”

  “Wow, you guys put some thought into this.” I took the two hangers from her.

  “This,” she said, presenting me with a matching tie, “contains a hidden compartment.” She flipped it over and gestured. “Large enough to fit keys, a small knife, or other important items. It also ties and unties when hit with magic. No more worrying about getting it straight, right?” She pinched my cheek and draped the tie over my arm.

  Adelard held out a pair of matching pants. “Flotation device,” he said. “Pull the tag.”

  “Why would I need a flotation device?” I took the pants anyway.

  Adelard didn’t answer.

  “Oh, and there’s one more thing,” said the spider woman. She fussed with something in the corner. “Oh, bless me. Where is it? There it is!” She came back with a length of iron seven feet long and about two inches in diameter, holding it out to me proudly.

  “What’s this?”

  She put a hand by her mouth and whispered, “A present from the woman who was with you last time.”

  “What woman?” I said, taking it.

  “She was short. Glasses. Ash blonde.”

  “Beth?” I ran my hands over the iron staff. Why would Beth leave it for me? She hated me, blamed me for pulling her back into the supernatural after she’d almost gotten out.

  A tag hung from the end with my name on it. I pulled it off the string and found it was a card, not a tag. I flipped it open.

  Lazarus,

  I’m leaving this for you in case I can’t deliver it myself. Last time we met, you didn’t have your staff with you, which I figured must mean you lost it again. Here’s a replacement.

  I want you to know it’s not your fault I am whatever I’ve become. I had a choice and I made it. I’ve always been a little jealous of you and your power. You’ve always been big and important while I just kind of faded into the background. I thought if I could do this one thing, save the museum exhibit, then I would matter. Someone would remember me.

  But I’ve done terrible things. By the time you’ve gotten this, the Famine mantle will have changed me. It has a way of twisting your mind, making you want things. Even now, I can feel it scratching, working to get into my head. Eventually, I won’t be able to stop it.

  When that happens, I want you to use this to kill me. And I don’t want you to feel bad about it. I want it to be you. I know you won’t make it hurt too terribly. You’ve always been so kind.

  Love forever,

  Beth

  I folded the card closed and stared at it for a long time before I could speak. “How long ago did she leave this with you?”

  “A few months?” The spider woman tilted her head to the side and glanced at Adelard.

  He confirmed it with a nod. “Months, months.”

  So, before the mantle had twisted her into the thing I’d seen at the playground yesterday. It must’ve been awful, holding on for so long. Fighting when she knew she would lose. I should have helped her more. Should’ve stopped her.

  My hands closed around the staff and swallowed the growing tightness there. “Thank you. Thank you both.”

  “Bah,” Adelard said and waved a hand. “It was nothing. Nothing!”

  The spider woman
kissed me on the cheek. “You’re welcome, dear. Is that the mask you were planning on wearing? Oh, dear. That won’t do. One moment.”

  She rushed to the back of the room, tossing aside boxes and muttering to herself. After a loud crash, she re-emerged with a mask covered in glittering yellow, purple, and green stones.

  “I can’t accept this,” I said as she held the mask out to me.

  She smiled warmly. “Oh, please do. It’s just been back there collecting dust all this time. We can’t really go out for Mardi Gras anymore. Too many people, even at night, and our fae glamour wore off years ago.”

  Adelard nodded. “Can’t get more. No more, not without a court.”

  I glanced from the spider woman to Adelard. “You guys aren’t members of any of the fae courts?”

  Spider woman wrung her hands. “We were in the Uprising, dear. We’re lucky to have escaped with our lives. The peddler of glamours here in the city won’t sell to us, not unless we’re members of a court. He doesn’t want to upset the queens, you see. It’s all terribly complicated, and nothing you need to worry about.” She pressed the mask into my hands.

  I used it to gesture to her. “You could join my court. I mean, it’s not big and powerful or anything, but it’d get you what you needed.”

  She exchanged a glance with Adelard. “You have a court?”

  “Just started it. Kind of had to. I got tired of playing games with Summer, Shadow, and Winter, so I just declared a space and made my own.”

  Her eyes flashed red a moment. “Yes, I see. It’s true.”

  Adelard put a hand on her arm. “What do you want from us? What’s the price?”

  I shrugged. “No price. Just promise me you’ll help people when they come to you. Be charitable. Show up every once in a while when I hold court and defend it from assholes who want to destroy it.”

  “That’s it?” Adelard raised a bushy white eyebrow.

  “That’s it.” I extended my hand. “Then you can get your glamours and go out and enjoy yourselves again.”

  Adelard and the spider woman turned away and whispered to each other a moment before she turned back around. “What’s your court called, dear?”

  I thought for a minute. I couldn’t very well name it after one of the seasons like the fae did, and I didn’t claim all of New Orleans so that didn’t work either. Most of the people I’d claimed weren’t exactly the most savory types. They were the downtrodden, bikers and drunks and rogue fae rejected by society at large. Freaks with nowhere else to belong. For most of us, it was a miracle we’d survived as long as we had.

  That’s it. I smiled. “Court of Miracles.”

  Spider woman smiled and grasped my hand with all four of hers. “We shall join your Court of Miracles, Horseman.”

  “Why not?” Adelard nodded. “Nothing better to do. Not at all.”

  “Perfect!” I affixed the mask. “Mind if I try all this on?”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Noelle was waiting in the alley when I exited the shop with the garment bag on my arm. I hadn’t affixed the mask yet, so when I saw her, I paused in sliding it on. “How’d you know where to find me?”

  She paced away from the dumpster she’d been standing next to. “I asked Baron Samedi. He told me your plan, by the way. I think you’re an idiot, but I’m not going to stop you. You want to kill yourself, be my guest. As long as I get my shot at the crown.”

  “You’ll get it.” I put the mask on. “So, when and where is the party?”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll get you there, provided you’ve gotten some suitable clothes.” She stepped forward to caress my cheek with icy cold fingers.

  I shuddered.

  “In the meantime, I still need to find my dress, and I need someone to hold my bags while I shop. You look like you can handle it.” She smirked.

  I adjusted the garment bag. “I’m not here to dress shop, Noelle. I’ve got things I need to do.”

  “One of those things is keeping me happy so I get you into the ball,” she said walking toward the end of the alley. She reached the end and crooked her finger. “Come, Horseman.”

  I scowled at her. It was still morning, though almost noon. We had five or six hours before we had to dress for the ball. How long could it take to buy one stupid dress?

  THERE’S A REASON MEN hate clothes shopping with women. First, women like to shop in these little boutiques that only sell women’s clothes. The only thing in those boutiques I found interesting was the lingerie but looking at it would just make me seem like a creep. Instead, I had to stand near the fitting rooms and act like a human coat hanger, holding all the dresses she wanted to try on.

  Which leads me to reason number two clothes shopping with women sucks. Fitting rooms only allow you to take back four or five items at a time. If a woman wants to buy a dress, that means she’s got to try on twenty for some reason, and sometimes in different colors. Do the math. Four items a time, twenty dresses...It takes forever. Our arms get tired.

  I tried to put back the ones she’d tossed out at me as rejects and got yelled at for it.

  “Come on, Noelle,” I grumbled after she rejected yet another gown. “It’s only a dress.”

  “Only a dress?” she spat from inside the fitting room. “It’s only the most important social event for us in the entire year. The revel is no small matter, Lazarus. This ball is where alliances are made that can last generations, where one wrong word can launch a bloody war and a bitter rivalry that will eventually become a ballad. That’s like saying Mardi Gras is just a party! It’s far more than that.”

  I rolled my eyes. “We’re not going for that.”

  “Of course not, but we need to seem as if we are.” The sound of a zipper closing echoed out of the fitting room. She pushed open the door and strode out. “What about this one? What do you think?”

  Noelle had put on a sparkling blue dress with a small, iridescent cape that draped over the shoulders. It looked a little dramatic to me, but I was ready to say anything if it would get us the hell out of there.

  “Looks nice,” I said. “You should get it.”

  “I don’t know.” She turned so she could see her backside in the mirror. “You don’t think it makes my butt look big?”

  “I think it doesn’t matter if your butt looks big. We’re not doing this to make friends, Noelle.”

  She brushed her hands over the midsection of the dress and glared at me. “I want the dress I kill my mother in to be memorable. And I don’t want my butt to look big in it!”

  One of the store clerks came toward us with a big smile. “Can I help you find anything?”

  “Yes,” I said, handing over the pile of dresses Noelle made me hold. “Oh, thank you. I thought my arms were going to fall off.” I turned to Noelle. “Noelle, your butt looks fine. Just pick a dress and let’s go. Please.” I said the last word through gritted teeth.

  She frowned at me and turned to the clerk struggling with all the dresses. “Do you have this in white?”

  By the time we made it out of there, it was after three. Just enough time to get back to Paula’s, shower, get dressed, and make it across town to the masquerade. Noelle, of course, made me haul all the bags and try to flag down a taxi at the same time. Not an easy task in the Quarter on Mardi Gras. The taxis were all full.

  “Are you going to kill Titania?” Noelle asked as I waved at another passing taxi.

  “What?” I looked over my shoulder at her.

  She was busy applying lipstick and snapped her compact closed before she answered. “To save your daughter. Will you kill her?”

  “If it comes down to it.”

  “You know if you do, your daughter inherits the throne?”

  “What’s it to you?” I turned away and tried again to get a cab to pull over. Again, they ignored me and drove on.

  “Winter and Summer have been bitter enemies at worst, tense allies at best. We’ve been at war off and on for decades. My people are tired of it, as are Summe
r’s, I’m sure. I was only thinking about how I might best bring peace to my people once I’m queen. If your daughter is queen—”

  “Then she can negotiate her own peace.” A taxi veered across two lanes toward us, drawing angry honking from all the other cars. It stopped in front of us, so I wasn’t going to complain.

  “You’re saying you’ll have no dealings in your daughter’s court?”

  I pulled open the door and tossed the bags roughly into the back seat. “I’m saying I’m done with fae politics. I thought I made that clear when I killed the Shadow Queen, or Kellas when he tried to take over, or when I gave Titania the middle finger and walked out. But no, you fae don’t get it, do you? I’m done fixing Faerie. It’s not my job. My job is to maintain balance between the mortal world and immortals. As long as you guys leave humans alone, I don’t get involved. What you do on your own time is not my problem. Understand?”

  She frowned. “Well, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.”

  “Hey,” shouted the cabbie, “you gettin’ in or what?”

  I made Noelle pay for the cab fare to get across town. Not only because I was broke, but because she was obviously loaded. The dress and all the accessories she’d bought weren’t cheap. She flashed around that black credit card like it was going out of style. Made me wonder how fae made so much money on Earth.

  Once we got to Paula’s I went up the back staircase so I didn’t have to go inside. The bar wasn’t open yet but it would be soon, which meant Paula was already in there getting things ready. I didn’t want the earful I’d get for having drinks with Samedi or borrowing money, so I tried to be as quiet as possible. Not easy when we were right above her.

  Noelle went in to take a shower, do her hair, makeup and whatever else while I just went into the bedroom to get dressed. I’d gotten as far as the pants and shirt when someone pounded on the door.

  “Lazarus, open the door,” Paula bellowed. “I know you’re in there.”