by Marie Hall
“Steady, Mia. Hold steady.” He slid back a little more and like that Mia was left feeling utterly empty and barren. Sliding his arms free, he hoisted himself up off her, arched his neck back, inhaled and then slowly exhaled before looking down at her. He lifted his body a bit more then looked down between them. One hand took hold of her thigh and pulled it wider. With a groan he dropped her leg and rolled to the side. “Are you all right?”
Mia nodded. It hadn’t killed her as she feared. And the longer it went on the more she’d enjoyed it. He dropped an arm over her shoulders, but lifted his hand and brushed at the few tears dripping from the corners of her eyes. He curled his fingers and his knuckles brushed down her cheek. “I… I didn’t expect it to be like that,” she finally said reaching to wipe away a few stray hairs from her face.
Devin lifted up and bending his elbow rested his head in his palm. “I didn’t either,” he chuckled. “If I’d thought for a second you were untried, I’d have been more considerate.” He chuckled again and with a deep breath fell to his back.
“More considerate?” Mia echoed and let her mind sort out what he said. “Wait,” she played his words again. “Wait.” Turning her head to look at him she shifted her body farther away. Untried? If he’d thought for a second she was… “You didn’t think I was… Did you think I was…” Neptune save her, he did. She sat up abruptly and moved to the edge of the bunk.
“Mia,” he called reaching for her.
“You took me for some whore? Some some harlot? A strumpet?” His expression said it all and Mia felt her jaw drop.
“Mia,” he called again sitting up more himself and again reaching for her.
Shame. It was the only word Mia could find to describe what washed over her next. Shame, utter humiliation and a rising tide of hurt so deep it surpassed the physical hurt she’d just endured. Why would anyone think her so base? Think her so dirty and ill-raised? How could anyone think her papa would allow her to be so misused as he claimed those poor women were? He was a good man, and he’d raised a good daughter. Everyone said so. Everyone. The sob rose up, but Mia swallowed it back down. Swinging her legs from the bunk she stood.
“Mia, come back here,” Devin said, tiredness in his tone. “Come back.” His fingers brushed her arm and Mia felt nausea rising. “Mia, you can’t blame me.”
Oh yes, she could. Jerking out of reach she turned, glared at him, and snarled, “Rot in hell.” Spinning back, she snatched her shift from the floor and raced from the cabin.
“Mia.” She heard him call as she found a second berth to hide in. That it was made to serve a captain’s mate made it perfect and even as his footsteps grew louder, Mia shut the door and slammed the bolt home. She pushed back against the far wall, moving so the net bunk that stretched across was between her and the door. “Mia?” He was right outside the room. She shoved her shift into her mouth to keep him from hearing her, but a second later the latch at the door rattled and she knew he’d found her. “Mia, come out, please. Let’s talk.”
“Go away. I hate you. I hope you fall overboard. I hope you get eaten by a squid. I hate you. Go away,” she screamed and then unable to hold back anymore gave in to the tears of shame and hurt. Something hit the door hard, making her jump and push farther back. But a moment later the sound of his footsteps retreated. Mia closed her eyes and willed away all of her feelings. She was never going to be the same. Who’d want her now? “Papa, oh Papa.” If only he’d not told her husband’s didn’t hurt women. If only he’d not lied. If only the smell of Devin on her skin didn’t keep her aching. If only so many, many things.
Chapter 7
“Captain?”
Devin looked up to see Mr. Quiggly at the door. Setting aside his pen, he closed the pages of his personal log. He’d have thought looking up would be enough to tell the man to speak, but Quiggly was looking back over his shoulder. Undoubtedly wondering about the noise coming from the small berth.
Mia still hadn’t shown herself, not that he blamed her. He couldn’t recall a time in his entire life he’d been such a complete ass. What made him say what he’d said he didn’t know. He’d like to blame it on the effects of their lovemaking. It hadn’t been so long since he’d been with a woman that he’d think it was need that made it feel that good. No, it was something about Mia, the way she responded, the way she touched him, made little gasping sounds, cried out so freely when she found her pleasure. He’d never felt the ability to master a woman’s body like Mia allowed. But he knew that probably had more to do with her innocence than anything. She had not one clue about what she was doing, or what he was doing and so she simply let him steer her through. It would have been perfect too, because even after he breached her hull so violently, it had been easy to salvage the pleasure for her.
If he’d but kept his mouth shut, or even given praise, she’d have remained in his bed and probably allowed a second romp. But his surprise hadn’t ended when he felt the resistance give way. In fact, until he’d seen the blood on her thigh, he’d hoped perhaps she’d somehow faked the deflowering.
Having thought the entire time Mia was a well-practiced concubine, he’d not given any thought beyond having a woman who would be an easy, willing tumble. Mia only encouraged his hope they’d have that kind of relationship with her behavior. He very well could have a wife who didn’t come to his bed wearing six layers of clothes and wanting every light put out. Sex when only the necessary parts touched was horrible. The ladies in his social class were a bit more upper than some and until last night he’d believed above his wife. Now though, when he put together her education, her manners and comportment, her rather rich trousseau which perhaps wasn’t all pirate’s plunder, and her innocence it might be he who was below her. She may have been raised by pirates, but she was as much a lady as he’d encountered.
She was also a brat, spoiled and willful, but not mean or vindictive. At least not that he’d seen yesterday. Damn. She’d barely been set free of this cabin and now she was barricaded in an even smaller one and no amount of pleading convinced her to come out. He’d tried most of the night, as the hard rocking of the ship would’ve made sleep impossible, until the sound of her crying faded away and he guessed she’d fallen asleep. He could hear her moving about now and so could Mr. Quiggly. Devin cleared his throat and drew the man’s attention back to him.
Quiggly gave him a questioning look and pointed back over his shoulder. Devin only shook his head. There wasn’t any way to explain and he didn’t owe the man an explanation, at least he hoped not. But then the man scanned the room, and when his eyes landed on the bed his brows shot up. “Did you have a reason for coming here, Mr. Quiggly?”
“Aye, Captain,” the man said and took a moment to regain his bearing. “We’re coming round to that cove you set course for this morning, no more than an hour. What would you have?”
He’d have Mia there to direct where to drop anchor, but he didn’t think she’d do more than spit at him at the moment. “Tell Mr. Archer to drop rope and bring us in slow. Mrs. Winthrop assured it was deep all the way in.”
“Aye, Captain,” man said, then turned.
“Mr. Quiggly,” Devin called and watched the man turn back. “If you happen by him could you send Mr. Hong to me?” Maybe Mr. Hong could get Mia to come out and listen to him.
Quiggly passed him a concerned look but nodded, “Aye, Captain.”
Devin waited for him to leave, then made his way to the door Mia hid behind. “Mia, might you come out? We’re almost to the cove. I could use your help navigating it. Mia?” Nothing, not a sound. “Mia please come out, I’d like to apologize.” This time he at least heard her sniff. She wasn’t dead in there.
“Why Captain need apologize?” Mr. Hong asked, appearing in the common space of the captain’s quarters. “Where Mia?”
“Hong Chin?” Mia called out from behind the door. Those were the last words Devin could understand as a frantic conversation ensued between his wife and the Asian man. Any number of
words flew out so fast it was a wonder anyone in the world understood what was said, but given Mia’s occasional sobbing and the cutting looks Mr. Hong threw his way, communication between the two was clear. The conversation ended as abruptly as it began when Mr. Hong pulled himself to his full height then turned to face Devin.
“Is she coming out?” Devin asked, hopeful.
“Why you dishonor Mia?” the man accused.
“I didn’t,” Devin snapped. There was nothing dishonorable about what took place. They were married. “She is my wife,” he reminded the man.
“Mia say you think her dirty. That she not good enough. She say you call her whore. You dishonor her. You dishonor whole family that we let Mia not be good girl. Mia good girl. Mia raised good by Commodore. Hong, Grim, Daylon, all us keep Mia good girl, keep Mia happy girl. You shame her, dishonor whole crew, all family.”
Devin groaned and spinning around walked back into his cabin. But like before the little man wasn’t giving up. He stayed chewing at Devin’s stern all the way to the bunk.
Mr. Hong reached past him and grabbed the sheets. “There you see Mia not whore,” the man yelled waving the evidence of what took place last night in Devin’s face. “You wrong shame her. You wrong dishonor her. Dishonor family.”
“I didn’t dishonor her,” Devin snarled, grabbing back the sheets and tossing them on the bed. “I am her husband. There was nothing dishonorable about what took place.”
“Then why you shame her?”
Was that what he’d done? He didn’t see how or why Mia would feel ashamed over what they did or even what he said. Angry, aye. Hurt even. He thought she was a woman of loose morals, but she more than proved she wasn’t. She shouldn’t feel ashamed. If only she’d come out and speak with him. “Is she coming out?” Devin asked, as the smaller man moved around the room and picked up Mia’s discarded dress, shoes and stockings.
Devin barely recalled undressing himself let alone stripping Mia. He’d not bothered to try and savor any of it. He’d been in such a damn fool rush to have her. A young woman had an expectation of perhaps a little romance, a little courtship. Especially from a man she’d barely known a week, and on what did, in a way, amount to her wedding night. Mr. Hong only glared at him as he shook out the expensive formal dress. Devin took a deep breath and released it. “I didn’t intend to make Mia think… feel… Get her to come out so I can speak with her.”
“Captain,” Mr. Asher appeared at the door, like Quiggly his eyes surveyed the room and he didn’t miss the rumpled bed or the bloody linen. He did, however, manage not to show his feelings on the matter in his expression. “Sir, we’re about to put down anchor. The cockswain are loading the skiffs with barrels and the longboats are ready.”
“Secure a party to forward advance, and make sure a landing can be had. I’ll be topside in a moment,” Devin said. He couldn’t ignore the duties on the ship but he didn’t want to leave things with Mia adrift. He turned back and looked at Mr. Hong.
The little man glared at him then sighed, shrugged, and said, “Captain leave now, Mr. Hong make Mia happy. No go down with ship. Happy Mia, good Mia.”
Devin lifted his coat from the back of the chair, “Happy Mia, good Mia,” he muttered as he made his way out. Passing the door keeping him from his wife he paused, setting his hand on the wood. “Come out Mia,” he whispered. He was topside in three strides.
“Captain, this cove is amazing,” Mr. Brinks said, smiling. “It’s as deep as Mrs. Winthrop said and you can see the waterfalls from here.” The man pointed and Devin let his eyes drift over the somewhat choppy waters.
“Not much of a beach,” Devin noted, taking in the rocky flat where the tide rolled up. “Good enough for a landing though.” Mia was correct in her assessment. This was a far better spot to resupply the ship. The first long boat was in the grip of the tide being pushed towards shore. Two of the party jumped out, landing in calf deep water to drag the boat in. There was activity and one of the cockswains lifted a small flag from the boat and gave it a wave. “Go ashore then,” Devin said. The crew who’d drawn lucky enough to go first scrambled for the boats.
“You’re not going, sir?” Mr. Asher asked, coming up on his other side.
Devin looked down, scuffing at a spot on the deck with his toe. “I’m going to wait to see if Mrs. Winthrop will join me.”
“If I may, sir,” Asher began, “that’s a very fine lady you’ve taken as wife.”
“You may, and yes she does seem to be.”
“Even finer a sailor,” the man said with a smirk as Coventon passed on the way to board a longboat.
“She seems to be that as well,” Devin admitted, lifting a finger to rub his brow. Marriage to Mia would at least not be filled with boring talks about fashion. He saw Asher look around.
“I might have thought she’d be shoving to get in one of the first boats this morning.”
Devin sighed, “Mrs. Winthrop is a bit displeased with me this morning.”
“Perhaps not the wedding trip she had in mind?”
Devin snorted, more like not anything she’d in mind.
“Women can be harsh critics,” Asher said. “I should know. I have eight sisters, all older.” Devin turned to look straight at the young man. “They don’t seem to have any problem throwing a man a line only to toss it short and make him swim for it.”
“Tell me you didn’t take to the sea to get away from females?” Devin said, finally able to laugh a bit. Perhaps Mia wasn’t any more a riptide than every other female and he’d be able to take some advice from someone who knew them and their ways.
Asher laughed, “I did, but Mrs. Winthrop doesn’t seem the kind to berate a man for poor fashion. I’d think one could have an intelligent and lively discussion with her on anything from tying knots, to ballast and rigging. She knows her ships and the sea.”
“Do you suggest I haven’t given her credit enough?” Devin knew he hadn’t. He took Mia thinking she was nothing more than a pirate’s spoiled and unruly daughter. “That I don’t think highly enough of her?” Hadn’t she claimed to have captained a frigate? Such a thing took responsibility.
“Captain, I wouldn’t presume to have a remark to such.”
“I’d prefer you do this one time, Mr. Asher, given your extensive dealings with females.” Damn. Eight sisters. The poor man.
“I think, respectfully sir, it isn’t my knowledge of dealing with women that would be helpful in answering your question,” Asher said solemnly. “I think more the question should be, did you hope you wouldn’t have to think too highly of her? Perhaps, if you ask yourself that, you might discover the heading to take to keep your wife more pleased with you.”
The man’s statement was jarring, and he didn’t wait around for Devin to respond as he moved to help get the water barrels off the ship. Was that true? Did he actually hope Mia was something less than a respectable lady? No doubt last night was urged on by his ability not to give her any consideration, for thinking she was familiar with what they were doing.
Even when she tried to tell him, to ask him to guide her through it, he’d dismissed her. He’d wanted her to be asking what specifically he liked and wanted in bed. But last night, he knew he’d be satisfied with a basic first go. He didn’t care if she was already good at taking cock in her mouth, if a bit of slap and tickle was part of her repertoire, if she liked harder, rougher ramming from behind. And now, he couldn’t say if she’d share his bed again, let alone allow him to claim any other part of her body.
The sound of Mr. Hong chattering carried across to where Devin stood middeck. Turning, he caught Mia stepping to the poop deck, heading aft. Mr. Hong spoke as she moved away. Her only response, a nod and a raised hand. Devin headed after her.
“You no scare her. You no dishonor her. I tell commodore you dishonor all of family. All of crew.”
“I’ll do my best,” Devin said as the man ran by. Lord help him if it turned out he earned the wrath of a pirate whose daughter h
appened to be his wife. The first family reunion could see Devin blown out of the water. Climbing the steps, he spotted Mia leaning against the starboard side rail surveying the landing. His steps faltered when he noticed her grip on the rail tighten. Shortening his stride and clasping his hands behind his back he approached more cautiously.
“You set anchor a bit far ashore,” she said, not looking at him.
“Closer than at the other point,” Devin said. If she wanted to keep to a safe topic they could.
“I could fit two frigates between this and the shallow,” she told him. He held his breath when she leaned far enough over the rail to need to stand on her toes. “The water’s a little choppy; the longboats are in, but that skiff is pulling.”
“They’ll manage,” Devin said, stepping up beside her and looking at the crew, now on shore working to drag in the small boat filled with every fresh water barrel on board. “This was a good place to put in,” he said, then couldn’t think of what else to say.
“You ruined it for me,” Mia said, stealing his chance to get out an apology. He wasn’t sure if she meant this place or something else, so he remained silent. “My whole life I’ve never been treated, thought of, as anything less than a lady. My mama wouldn’t have it and Papa would’ve killed over it. Everything, my whole life, was about maintaining a good reputation on and off land. And I did that,” she raised her voice a notch. “I did that and still you took me for a whore.”
“Mia,” Devin stepped closer, only to have her turn and give him her back.
