by Marie Hall
“What was it all for then? What was any of it for? All the studies and lessons? The damnable books stacked on my head as I walked? Absolute professionalism when dealing in port, even when I only wanted to kick someone? Why? Clearly it was a waste, if men only see me as some… some… paramour?”
“Mia,” Devin said stepping behind her and taking hold of her arms to pull her back against him. “Men don’t see you as anything less than a lady.” Professional dealings in port? What dealings in port?
“Oh, so it is only my husband who thinks I’m a whore.”
“No.” The harsh denial didn’t exactly ring true. “No, Mia. I wasn’t thinking in those terms.”
“What then? That you were so surprised to find I’d not already spread my legs for the entire Caribbean?”
“Ouch.” He’d certainly not thought that, but she must believe he did. “Mia, all I know is that you’re the daughter of a… a…” What? He didn’t actually know the commodore to be a true pirate. He’d not seen any markings, no brands stating the facts. He’d not heard the man’s name in any circles or read them in reports. His threat to the admiralty and governors wasn’t one to destroy ports or ships. Professional dealings wasn’t how pirates went about things. But the man never even tried to deny it when Devin accused him of being one. Mia’s maiden name was given as Cadley, but the commodore wasn’t her sire. Devin had no idea if her name was her father’s, her mother’s maiden or something made up to keep her hidden from family.
“Of a pirate?” Mia supplied for him. “That you even think that shows how little you know. But still, a pirate, so impossible then for such a man to have a daughter of any quality. Impossible because a man such as Papa couldn’t possible have cared, or given consideration to his child’s upbringing?” She turned and poked a finger in his chest. “But let me tell you about what I know about gentlemen. About fathers,” she spat the last word. “Those men you use as standards to make judgments. They’re the same who curse any birth not male, who spend the first years of their daughter’s life ignoring her and the next seeking the highest bidder to marry her off. Hoping to use marriage to elevate and enrich themselves. They couldn’t care at all for the happiness of their own progeny. Are willing, even, to cast them off to die if there’s no chance they’ll again be useful to serve their purpose. They curse their names, their sex, and even their hearts, not realizing that without daughters there’d be no wives and therefore no sons which they so prize.” She put her palm against his chest and shoved him back. “Those are gentlemen for you. And do you ever question the morals of their daughters? Of course not, because you assume they’re born better. They couldn’t possibly want to displease their fathers and so they stay as perfect as saints. I dare you to step into the grooves along the shores where you cold-blooded Brits come to play on my beaches and watch how easily those fine, perfect daughters lift their skirts for the first boy that shows the slightest interest. Then dare judge how a pirate might parent a daughter. Judge me then, knowing not all gentlemen are and not all pirates aren’t.”
Devin had no response. Nothing Mia said could be denied. Society did value male children above female. Families did do everything to put daughters before rich men hoping to better everyone. Happy unions were rare; love matches rarer. Why it was so easy to believe a man who lived outside society would act as those inside he couldn’t say. It never crossed his mind a child, any child, able to survive to adulthood in the dangerous world of piracy wouldn’t be valued at the highest levels. Mia wasn’t just valuable because she’d survived, but because she thrived. Her world was the sea, ships and sailing. Her father, or rather the commodore, could hand her off to any vessel and be assured she’d do right by it. Marriage wasn’t to his benefit. More apt it was his loss for it would remove Mia from his world.
“You ruined it for me,” Mia said again, turning to look out towards the island.
“Ruined what Mia?”
“Papa said wait, he said what looked fun and pleasing on a tavern table at night, in the light of day was ugly and shameful. He said only in a marriage bed would it remain good past the moonrise. He said only a husband wouldn’t hurt me, shame me, ruin me the way my father ruined my mama. I’ve waited and dreamed about it as long as I could remember. It was supposed to be better than taking the helm of my own ship. But it isn’t. You ruined it.”
“Mia,” Devin said, taking a deep breath as he felt some hope rising from the deep. “It’s not ruined. We’ve run aground, but the tide will come to lift us back up and we can resume course. It’s not ruined. Marriage isn’t but for one night. It’s a lifetime.” He forced her to turn and face him, and taking hold of her wobbling chin raised her eyes so he could look her in them. “I’m sorry Mia. I did make judgments that were undeserved. And I’m sorrier you felt a moment of shame over any of it. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing we did last night was shameful. I truly found it to be wonderfully pleasing.” She colored a bit at that. “I think maybe you did as well.”
“It hurt,” she pouted.
Devin pulled her so she rested against him. “What we did or my careless words?”
“Both.”
“I apologize again for my words, Mia.” He felt her head nod. “As for the hurt in the act. it was going to hurt regardless. It does for a girl’s first time. Though I might have taken more care.”
“Yes, you are among the larger I’ve seen and most women seem not to enjoy men like you.”
Devin closed his eyes and ground his teeth, he didn’t want to know how she knew that. Then he felt some amusement when he realized her rather backhanded compliment. “You did manage some enjoyment though. Didn’t you?”
She sniffed, “Aye, once it stopped feeling like you split me down the keel.”
Devin bent to press his mouth to the top of her head, trying not to laugh. Clearing his throat. “Fortunately, you shouldn’t feel that again. Next time I’ll give you the consideration you surely deserve.” And if he had any say, next time would be sundown.
“Isn’t it too late?” she asked stepping out of his arms to look at him, confused.
“Too late?”
“To give me consideration.”
“Oh no, Mia,” Devin said reaching out and pulling her back against him. “A woman like yourself, a wife as perfect as you are deserve and will get all consideration every time. As sure as the tides roll.”
“Oh,” she snuggled against him. “Oh,” she gasped as if she just realized what he was suggesting. “Oh,” she giggled.
“Mia?”
“Captain, if you’re to consider me, might you consider kissing me again?”
Bold little pirate, she did come about quick enough. “Mia, I consider that every minute of the day,” he said bending down to press his lips to hers. Far more chaste than last night it still heated his blood and if the large hand hadn’t slapped down on the back of his neck Devin might have dragged his wife back to their quarters.
“Grim, there you are,” Mia said calmer than the doldrums. “Captain Winthrop is going to take us ashore now. You have my basket?” The hand not painfully squeezing Devin’s neck held out a small wicker basket. Mia fished around under the cover and withdrew a cake of soft soap. Bringing it to her nose she sniffed and frowned. “Was there no rose?”
Grim let go of Devin’s neck to take back the basket and Devin was about to tell him not to go chasing after a different soap. Mia could be content, this once, with what she was given. Grim reached out took the soap, shoved it back in the basket and handed the basket back to her. The relief of knowing Mia did know she couldn’t have every little thing she wanted washed over him. She did hear the word no. Maybe not often, but at least sometimes.
“Fine,” Mia sighed and started for the main deck. Devin watched her a minute then happened to feel he was being glared at.
“I apologized to her, Grim,” Devin said but the man didn’t seem less inclined to snap him in half. “I apologized, she accepted, we are back on course.” Still th
e man glared at him. “For the love of god, it’s none of your business. I didn’t hurt her overly and she enjoyed it before the end. Is that what you were waiting to hear?” The man’s face broke into a large smile and he reached out and patted Devin on the shoulder before turning and following where Mia went. “God help me,” he said as he too made his way to the last boat ready to go ashore.
Chapter 8
“No,” Mia tried again to direct the man swimming along the cliff face. “Come back port.” She watched him swim to the spot. “Yes, yes right there, straight down. Only get the large ones,” she said as the man waved before diving under to the oyster beds Mia knew waited below.
“Mia?”
She turned when Devin called her. She wasn’t sure what would happen after the debacle of last night. Hong Chin warned her thoroughly enough she’d be wise to find accord with Devin. That she’d been childish to lock him out and husbands didn’t like children as wives. He also said husbands didn’t often say sorry and if Devin was willing to, she was a lucky woman and should let him say it. That she’d gotten a chance to have her say as well made it all the better. Maybe they had not cast off as smoothly as they could’ve, but Devin was right, they had a long journey before them, and the waters weren’t always going to be flat.
“What is that man diving for?” Devin asked as he stepped close and pulled her to his side.
“Oysters,” Mia smiled, feeling the security of his arms. He’d hurt her a bit, but there was no real malice in any of it. And like when he’d taken a batten to her rear, or taken her virginity, when he’d held her afterwards, it felt good, safe.
Devin hummed his approval and pulled her against him. “Those sound delicious.” Something in his tone sounded scandalous, but Mia didn’t know why. The sound of a shot fired made them both jump. A moment later a man emerged from the trees.
“We got a boar,” he shouted.
“That sounds even more delicious,” Mia said and watched Devin drop his head.
“I think all the men had their turn at washing, should you like to take yours?”
“I think I should wait until all their filth has settled down and the water clears again.” The three small freshwater pools at the back of the mango grove were fed by an underground spring and the water washed out through the groves. It was probably already clear. “Must we return to the ship soon?”
“No, not at all.” Devin looked around. “This cove saved a great amount of time. The barrels are full and back on board, and there is a good store of fruits in the galley.”
“You didn’t let them strip the groves did you? A number of pleasure craft stop here for the same.” Mia didn’t think it wise to say so did a number of ships less welcomed in ports. Not all merchant ships sailed completely above boards.
“No Mia, we were conservative in what we took. We didn’t need a lot. Just some treats until we do make port.” He turned and smiled down at her and Mia felt a rush of heat. “As I was saying, we need not rush back. I think the hog will get roasted here then taken back. Cook will want the bones for soup. Was there something you wanted to do while here?” Her eyes went straight to the tops of the cliffs. “No, Mia. You won’t be jumping. Am I understood?”
It wasn’t what she’d been thinking. “Devin, it’s fun. It’s like flying. Please. Try it with me.” She moved to stand before him and taking his hand, she tugged. “We can jump in, swim back to the ship and you can—consider me again,” Mia said softly and smiled up at him. Vixen Voydeoux told her once a woman could use her body to make a man comply. Her papa laughed but hadn’t disagreed, only warned her to wait for a husband to try. It was instantly plain to see Vixen lied.
Devin’s face hardened and coldness filled his eyes. When she tried to pull back he snagged her wrist and turned it behind her back. “You listen carefully, Mia,” he started, “we’ll not play these games. You won’t use our marriage bed to manipulate me. I’ll gladly give you what I’m able to when you deserve it. I’ll provide for you without hesitation. But when I say no, I mean no. And should you choose to mutiny over it, you’ll be bent over and soundly, properly spanked. Offering or denying your body won’t gain you compliance from me. It will, however, earn you the same as any mutiny—a very red and sore stern. Do you understand what I’ve said?”
“Aye, Captain,” she said, then dropped her head so he didn’t see the tears welling. He could scold worse than Papa.
“I’m not saying this to be harsh with you, Mia.” He tried to lift her chin. She moved her head so he couldn’t. “Mia.” Again, he tried to force her head up. “Mia, look at me.” He waited.
She knew he’d not finish until she did, and she’d not be able to get away until he finished. She lifted her head.
He put his hand under her chin and lifted more. “I’m not saying this to be harsh. But I suspect, unlike you, I’ve seen more wreckage done in marriages when the bed is used as weapon. It should be neutral ground, an accord of equality, articles of honesty, peace, and of course pleasure.” His knuckles lifted and brushed down her cheek. “I don’t want to see us crashed into the rocks or sunk below the waves.”
“Lots of people jump from the cliffs,” she mumbled, “I didn’t…” She stopped because she did try to use her body.
“Mia,” the warning in his tone made the skin on her ass prickle up. “Did you hear me?”
“Aye, Captain.”
“Do you understand?”
“Aye, Captain.”
“I’m sure, Mia mine, you’re going to find more than enough ways to turn my hair grey that you needn’t resort to plunging off cliffs.” Mia looked up sharply to see him staring up at those very cliffs. “It was enough to stop my heart seeing you lean over the rail this morning”
“I’m not a guppy,” Mia said and stomped her foot to make the point.
“I don’t know what that is, but I know if you stomp your foot at me again, you’ll be sorry.”
“It’s a little, useless fish, only good to look at because it’s pretty.” She heard him chuckle. “Can’t even eat it.”
“No, then you’re certainly not a guppy, because I can eat you.”
What a strange thing for him to say.
“No matter, you’ll not be jumping from the cliffs.”
“Mrs. Winthrop,” the man who Mia forgot was collecting oysters stumbled up on the shore wiping water from his face. “You were right.” He dragged the net from the surf, held it up, then had to drop it for its weight. “And I only took the largest ones.”
“That’s a good haul,” Devin said, pulling a knife from his belt as the sailor handed him two of the mollusks. He made quick work of shucking both then tried to hand her one.
She shook her head. Maybe if she’d not been scolded a minute ago.
“No? All right, later,” he said then tipped one to his lips and slurped it in. “They’re good.” He handed the other to the man who worked to get them. “Get them back on board while they’re still fresh. Come, Mrs. Winthrop,” he said reaching for her hand. “I’ll take you to wash.”
“I’ll go by myself,” Mia said snatching back her hand. Why did he want to come anyway? Probably to scold her more. And she didn’t need that. Why was he so damn hard to please? He was so contradictory with giving his approval of her then voicing his disapproval a moment later. She couldn’t feel more off balance if she was in a typhoon. She bent and snatched up her basket and walked away from him. She pushed through the tangled tree roots and crossed the grove. Why did he want her to be useless, weak? He was a captain. He should know weak people succumb to the sea. He should be satisfied to have a wife as capable as she, and not tell her he thought her so stupid as to tip overboard with only a little chop in the water.
Testing a few of the sun-drenched rocks around the pond, she found one warm enough and taking out the small metal tin opened the lid and set it out. The dress she wore today was her most simple kind of frock. When she knew she’d not get away with wearing pants she’d wear this. She could don an
d remove it without any help and it was loose enough she could conceal those forbidden britches. Today she had only her shift on beneath. Slipping from the gown, she tossed it to the warm rocks and sat to remove her shoes.
The basket held a roll of collected strips of sack cloth from which Mia unwound more than a dozen. Reaching for the tin she settled in bent her right knee and rubbed the slightly gritty unguent down her leg then quickly lay a strip over the concoction. She smeared a second line and as soon as the strip was down she pulled the first strip up. She wasn’t as proficient at the process as Azadeh, who when teaching Mia how it was done, could do one entire leg before Mia had three strips on and off. But she didn’t think she’d be getting back to the Persian Sea soon to have the beautiful woman help her pamper her body. How she did miss the warm oils rubbed in after all her body hair was gone.
Mia was stunned to learn women in the west didn’t follow the practice. Skin was so much more sensitive to every touch. Silk, post depilation, was like a warm breath. Fleece felt like an embrace. More importantly, lice and fleas stayed away and washing took less water, which on a ship was critical. Pulling the last strip from her right leg she set to work on her left.
“Mia?” She almost groaned at the sound of his voice. She heard him rustling the brush as he pushed his way back to the pools. “There you are.” Damn if his smile didn’t make her need to shift to a shady spot. “You’re not in the water yet. I thought you’d be nearly done.” Of course he told her there was no rush, but now he was urging her to hurry. She ran a line down her leg, laid the strip and pulled up the last, relishing the quick sting a little more. “What are you doing?”
“Have you changed your mind, must we now hurry back to the ship?” Mia asked and pulled off the strip while she held his eyes. The combination of his stare and the sting sent a pulse through her body. A second pulse thudded between her legs, as she pulled off the next strip, saw his eyes flash to her leg, back to her face and again to the smooth and hairless limb. She was a little more deliberate this time when she lay on the mixture, covered it with the strip and waited the needed time before ripping it back. “Captain, do we need to return to the ship or do I have time to finish?”
