A FILTHY Marriage (Filthy Line Book 4)

by Jaxson Kidman

And they started to get unpleasant.

  Fast.

  I kept my back to Jay as I hurried to step into my clothes. I wrestled with my bra. I found jeans. Then a shirt.

  I looked at my bag and shook my head.

  “I don’t even care,” I said. “Leave it here.”

  “Wren, I’ll grab the bag for you.”

  I turned and looked at Jay. “No. I’m going home. Alone.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t need this. The game is over. The fake time is over. This isn’t… just…”

  “Wren, stop,” Jay said. “You’re hurt and upset. And you should be. You’re not going through this alone.”

  “I won’t,” I said. “I’ll have my friends. My real friends. Real people.”

  “And I’m not real?” Jay asked.

  “No,” I said. “You’re a rock star. You saw me as a fun project. I was some woman in a dress and I was drunk and you had fun with it. I appreciate what you did with the paparazzi. But that’s it.”

  “No, Wren, you’re not being fair,” Jay said.

  I slammed my hands to his chest. “Fair? Did you really just say that me? Fair? How is it fair that she died alone?”

  “She didn’t…”

  “She died alone!” I yelled. I hit Jay’s chest again. “I was supposed to be there. That was my job. I was supposed to be there for everything, Jay. The last thing I wanted was for her to die alone. That was my greatest fucking fear in this whole thing. That’s why I never went anywhere. I promised Grams I would take care of her. She raised me, Jay. She took care of me. This was the last thing I could do… and I wasn’t there…”

  “Maybe that’s what she wanted,” Jay said. “To see you happy. To see you living your life. Did you ever think of that?”

  “This?” I asked and laughed. “In a hotel room with a playboy rock star? Seriously? This is living?”

  “That’s fine,” Jay said. “Attack me. Hurt me. Throw all that anger at me.”

  “There’s only one thing I’m going to throw at you,” I said. I grabbed my left hand and twisted the wedding ring off my finger. And I threw it at him. “This is ridiculous. This was all just one big joke. The only thing I ever wanted… was to be there… I didn’t even say goodbye to her… because of you.”

  Jay stood there like a statue.

  The anger overwhelmed me.

  But I wasn’t wrong. I. Wasn’t. Wrong.

  “You distracted me. You pulled me away from my life. Just like others have tried to do. Everyone telling me how to live. Fuck you. Fuck everyone.”

  “Wren…”

  “No more talking,” I said. “I’m leaving. I’m going alone, Jay. Don’t follow me. I’m not kidding either. This is done. We had fun, right? You got what you wanted out of me.”

  “This wasn’t about getting something from someone…”

  “Goodbye, Jay,” I said. “I’ll get the paperwork together and send it to you. Just text me where you want it. We’ll get it all signed and that’s it.”

  “Wren,” Jay said. He touched my arm. I looked up at him. “I was supposed to play for her.”

  “I guess that’s not going to happen now, is it?” I asked.

  “I can still play for her,” he said. “I want to.”

  “Goodbye, Jay,” I said. “You’ve done enough. You took the one moment I wanted and just threw it away like it didn’t matter. I’ll never forgive you for that.”

  I ripped my arm from Jay and walked out of the hotel room.

  I hurried down the elevator with nothing but my phone.

  When I got into the elevator, I started to cry.

  My entire life was falling apart.

  I owed Toby a bottle of whiskey.

  He not only greeted me at the hotel door, but he understood why I was alone. He rode with me to the airport and made sure I was safe on the private jet and that a car would be waiting when I got back to LA.

  On top of that, he gave me his cell number to keep in touch.

  I asked him for his address so I could send the papers over to end the marriage between Jay and I and he didn’t say a thing about it.

  He was supportive and quiet.

  On the flight home, I cried the entire time.

  There was a woman on the flight who made sure I had water and something to eat.

  I picked at small snacks because my stomach was in a knot.

  As promised, there was a car waiting for me when we landed.

  That car took me home…

  Home.

  The car pulled up to the house and I sat there for a minute trying to collect myself.

  I looked at my phone.

  I opened the screen and I saw Jay’s name.

  I skipped over it and went to Audrey.

  Grams’s passed away. Tell the others for me. I was in Seattle when it happened. I hate myself right now for it. I need you all. Please.

  I sent the text and got out of the car.

  Bethany emerged from the house, tears running down her cheeks.

  That only made me cry even harder.

  We ran to each other and hugged like we were family.

  To me, Bethany was family.

  I cried so hard, I couldn’t breathe.

  Bethany didn’t speak as she guided me into the house.

  The moment I was inside, it felt different.

  Quiet and empty.

  Sad and lonely.

  I started to shake my head.

  “Wren, I need you to listen to me,” Bethany said. “We have to talk about-”

  “I have to see her one last time,” I said.

  I broke from Bethany and she called out my name.

  I ran to the bedroom and opened the door, knowing my heart was going to be destroyed for good.

  Even though she was gone, I just had to see her again. I had to apologize to her. I had to…

  The room was empty.

  I gasped when I saw that Grams was gone. The bed was gone.

  It was all gone.

  I covered my mouth and stepped back and hit the door.

  “They had to come get her,” Bethany said from behind me in a soft voice. “I had been texting and calling you.”

  I spun around. “When?”

  “It was around four. I was here, Wren. I just had a feeling that something was off. She went to sleep peacefully, okay? She was happy. She was talking about you. The last thing she said to me was that she was happy you were happy. I tried to get in touch with you then.”

  “My phone…”

  I was with Jay all night.

  I had thrown my phone aside to be with Jay. To sip whiskey, enjoy the concert, and then enjoy Jay. All the while…

  Bethany took my hand and led me to the kitchen.

  She had coffee made and poured me a cup.

  “She went in her sleep,” Bethany said. “No pain and suffering. I had to make all the calls when it happened. I’m not going anywhere, Wren. I took a few days off for personal time to be here. Just to make sure you’re okay and you get through the services.”

  “Why, Bethany?” I asked. “Why did this have to happen now? I’ve waited for this moment… to be with her. That’s all I wanted. So she knew I was okay and I was there…”

  Bethany put a coffee cup in front of me and put her hand to mine.

  My phone buzzed and it was a text from Audrey.

  She, Lola, and Nia were on their way.

  “I’m going to tell you something you won’t like to hear,” Bethany said. “But I’ve seen this so many times.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “They hold on until their loved ones leave,” she said. “They don’t want to die in front of someone. So when I think of Grams… I think of her in her bed last night. Knowing you were somewhere you wanted to be. Happy. With your husband.”

  “Oh, that’s not-”

  “Let me finish,” Bethany said. “She felt safe. She felt comfortable. She knew if she let go, it would be okay for everyone. That’s why it happ
ened the way it did.”

  I pulled my hand away. “I don’t believe that for a second. I should have been here for her.”

  Bethany nodded. “It’s okay to feel that way. I won’t tell you not to feel that way.”

  I swallowed hard. My eyes filled with tears.

  It was going to be the longest day of my life.

  So far today I lost my grandmother and my husband…

  I had my friends surrounding me.

  And I kept looking at the front door like I was expecting someone else to show up.

  Part of my heart ached for that wild gesture of Jay walking through the door to be with me.

  But I thought about everything I had said to him.

  I blamed him.

  I blamed him for everything.

  “You can keep talking,” Audrey said as she rubbed my back.

  I nodded. “I know. I’m just… I’m just numb.”

  I told Bethany to go home and get some rest. She needed her home and her bed for one night. We would start tomorrow on everything else that needed to be done.

  For now I kept Grams’s bedroom door shut and had no intention of opening the door ever again.

  “You’re not wearing your ring,” Nia said.

  I looked at her. “Really? That’s what you want to talk about?”

  “She’s just changing the subject,” Lola said.

  “Okay, fine. I threw the ring at Jay when I left. It was his fault this all happened. Or yours, Nia. You had to get married so fast, right? You had to get married in Vegas, right?”

  “Wren,” Audrey said. “No.”

  “It’s fine,” Nia said. “You’re angry, Wren. I’m sorry for what I did. That I was somehow part of this.”

  “I wanted to be there for the moment,” I said.

  “And you weren’t,” Lola said. “I’m so sorry you lost that moment. But it wasn’t your moment.”

  I looked at Lola.

  She blinked away a few tears and looked so sincere it crushed my heart again.

  I leaned forward and put my face into my hands and cried again.

  The three of them came to me and all hugged me.

  It was a sloppy crying group hug.

  “I’m sorry for what I said,” I wept. “I love you all so much. This was just fate. I just thought I could be there and tell her it was okay to go.”

  “But you did do that,” Audrey whispered. “She knew when it was time.”

  I lifted my head and looked at Nia. “I’m so sorry, Nia. For being a bitch. For being jealous about you and Jack. For acting the way I did. And what I just said…”

  Nia touched my face. “We’ve always known you were a bitch.”

  I laughed.

  They all started to laugh.

  Audrey wrapped her arms around me tight. “You do whatever you have to do, Wren. Just don’t push us away.”

  “Did you push Jay away?” Lola asked.

  “It was never real,” I said. “And it’s too late. I already called someone to get the papers going. They’re already sent to him. I’m done with it all. My heart can’t take anymore.”

  “I’m sorry,” Audrey said. “There’s nothing else we can say.”

  “Give it time and talk to him again,” Nia said.

  “What?” I asked. “He’s a celebrity. Not some guy I met at a coffee shop.”

  “Wren,” Nia said. “I saw what he did for you that day. I saw the way you looked at him. And whether you like it or not, you’ve been living life since you met him.”

  “And look what happened,” I said.

  “Okay,” Lola said. “Everyone just stay calm. As much as everyone hates me for trying to be positive, we have to look forward. What’s next? Or we can look back and laugh.”

  “Like the time when we were all going out and Grams told me I looked like a whore?” Nia asked with a smile.

  “She didn’t call you a whore,” I said.

  “Yes, she did,” Nia said.

  “She called you a clown whore.”

  “And you did look bad that night,” Audrey said.

  “Definitely a clown whore,” Lola said.

  “Can I get something to drink?” I asked.

  “Wine?” Nia asked.

  “I prefer whiskey,” I said.

  “Damn,” Lola said. “You want the hard stuff, huh?”

  If I was going to sit there and talk about Grams all night, I needed something stiff.

  But whiskey was going to make me think of Jay.

  My soon-to-be ex-husband.

  21

  JAY

  I stood outside the beach house and drank coffee.

  I had my phone next to me and wasn’t sure what to do. In the realm of relationships, I always kept it very simple. There were my rules and no others mattered. And my rules were as cliché as they could be.

  Fucking instead of feelings.

  Eating a woman out instead of emotions.

  Wild sex instead of worrying about an actual relationship.

  But Wren changed that.

  She took my rulebook and punted it into the night in Vegas.

  I wasn’t sure if I should call her, text her or show up for her.

  I wasn’t sure what to do.

  And on top of that, I felt like shit.

  I felt guilty.

  Everything she had said to me was true. Not an ounce of falseness in her statements. I dragged her away from Grams. I dragged her to Seattle. I wanted her to see my life. I wanted her to live my life. I wanted her all to myself, to figure out what these feelings I had for her meant.

  And in that time frame… seeing Wren for who she was. Touching her. Tasting her. Feeling her body, her passion, her love…

  “Grams died,” I whispered.

  Of all things to have happen.

  I looked at my phone again.

  I started to reach for it when I heard the door open behind me.

  “Sab,” I said.

  “Hey,” he said.

  Behind him came the rest of the band.

  And Toby.

  “This can’t be good,” I said as I turned around. “Toby, in my beach house?”

  “Yeah, well, you might want to put some booze in that coffee,” Toby said.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Mitchy is suing us again,” Reed said.

  “I fucking knew it,” Nash said.

  “For what?” I asked.

  “Same old thing,” Toby said. “He’s pissed about the music and the touring. He claims he came here to make peace and you wanted to go forward with the legal stuff.”

  “Me?” I asked.

  “According to Mitchy,” Dex said, “you offered him your beach house which was full of hookers and drugs. So he’s fighting his addiction again. He blames you for it.”

  “Motherfucker,” I growled.

  “Why would he do that?” Sab asked.

  “Because he’s an asshole,” Nash said. “He wanted to go on tour with us. He came here and was jamming out, trying to win us over.”

  “And when he didn’t get his way…,” Reed said.

  “He fucked us,” I said.

  “He’s being a pain,” Toby said. “He’s going on social media too.”

  “Fuck,” I said.

  “I thought he was different,” Sab said.

  “He never will be different,” Nash said. “That’s just who he is. He was the same when we started the band. Except he turned on us.”

  “What a fucking mess,” I said. “First the shit with Wren. And now this.”

  “I’m sorry about Wren,” Reed said. “Fake or not, you two had something going on. And I’m sorry about her grandmother.”

  “Why aren’t you there?” Nash asked.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Fuck what she said to you,” Nash said. “You love her? Show up. Be there. Who cares?”

  “I’m respecting her distance,” I said. “And her wishes.”

  “No, Jay,” Reed said. “Don’t be dumb
like me. Look what happened to me and Abby. All those years we missed out on. You’re going to hate yourself if you don’t show up.”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Everything she said to me was true.”

  “She was heated,” Dex said.

  “I don’t do relationships and marriage and all that,” I said.

  “Actually,” Toby said. “If I’m here and breaking the bad news to everyone…”

  “What now?” Sab asked.

  Toby sighed. “I hope you don’t mind me saying something in front of everyone, but I got some papers for you to sign, Jay. From Wren.”

  I laughed. “Of course. So that’s it then? She’s just done?”

  “You just have to sign them,” Toby said. “She doesn’t want anything from you. It’ll be like it never happened.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t believe this. One second I’m in Seattle actually feeling something for someone and now this. Fake marriage. Real divorce. Her grandmother’s dead. Mitchy is suing us again. What the fuck?”

  “I’m sorry,” Sab said. He grabbed my shoulder.

  “You should still go after her,” Nash said. “Fuck the papers. Who cares about that? You love her, Jay. I can see it in your eyes that you love her.”

  “I loved her body,” I said. “I loved her ass. I loved the way her pussy tasted. That’s about it.”

  “Don’t turn into that,” Nash said.

  I stepped toward Nash. “Don’t tell me what to do. As far as Mitchy goes? I’m done with him. Fuck him. I will use every last penny I have to bury him. We fight back this time. He gets nothing from us ever again.”

  “Let’s just think about this,” Reed said.

  “No,” I said. I set my sights on Toby. “As far as those papers go… I’m signing them right fucking now.”

  I didn’t do the whole suit and tie bullshit thing.

  But I did have a nicer pair of jeans and could wear a nice t-shirt.

  I looked to my right and couldn’t believe it, my passenger was paperwork to end the marriage to Wren.

  That’s what it all came down to.

  Which was fine.

  That’s what Wren wanted.

  Fuck, it’s what we both wanted.

  The marriage was just something crazy that happened one night in Vegas.

  Nothing more and nothing less.

  So that was done and over with.