Lord to Love Again: A Sweet and Clean Regency Romance

by Grace Sellers

Stanwyck similarly disarmed his brother.

  “Lock the ruffian up!” someone called out and the crowd murmured in agreement.

  Panic seared through Caroline. That was exactly what she feared.

  Caroline quickly followed Jacob, Lord Stanwyck, and Wolfolk to Stanwyck’s library.

  Stanwyck’s office was chilly although a small fire crackled and popped. Wolfolk and Sutherland sat on both sides of Jacob. Caroline knew how serious it was for Jacob to draw a saber in another man’s home. She wanted to get Jacob out without being challenged to a duel, or—worse yet—having charges brought against him. Her legs wobbled as she sat down.

  Stanwyck glanced at Caroline. “This man is your brother?”

  Caroline nodded. “I am sorry for the chaos, my lord. Jacob, my brother has not been well since he was injured falling off a horse,” she said quietly.

  “Oh, this drivel again?” Jacob muttered. “I am fine.”

  “Why are you here?” Stanwyck asked Jacob.

  Jacob’s face darkened.

  “My sister has no business here! I told her that before she came, but she snuck away and didn’t tell me where she was going. But, by God, I’m the man! I should be the one out there working.”

  The other men exchanged worried glances.

  “Steady,” Alexander said, with a hint of warning.

  Caroline wondered what Alexander must think of her now, with her brother having stormed his friend’s home? He would think her family was all crazy as loons.

  “My lord, my brother hasn’t been well since he returned. Allow me to accompany him home. My employment has ended,” Caroline said.

  Stanwyck eyed her brother warily.

  “Are you sure you’ll be safe with him?” Alexander asked.

  “He’s not dangerous,” Caroline said. She didn’t meet Alexander’s gaze. “He doesn’t always adhere to polite society.” She felt numb.

  “Miss Holland, we have enjoyed your company these past weeks.” Stanwyck smiled uneasily at her. “I don’t want to allow anything that may endanger you,” he said, smoothing a quill on his desk.

  Jacob sat up straighter in his seat. “I am her brother. I have a right to demand her return home.”

  Alexander stiffened at her brother’s tone. “I can assure you that Miss Holland has been the epitome of professional constancy,” he said in irritation.

  Caroline looked up, surprised. That was not how she expected him to speak of her. Especially after she had just kissed him.

  Stanwyck rubbed his hands together. “I want what’s best for everyone here. But I have to think of my guests and do not want them to be frightened.” His gaze fell to Jacob. “Or hurt.”

  “Of course,” Caroline said. “Allow Jacob and I to leave, and we will be out of your guests’ way. We can leave before sunrise.”

  “We should not let a dangerous person spend the night here,” Stanwyck said to Alexander.

  “If he is dangerous, we shouldn’t let Miss Holland go with him,” Alexander replied.

  Caroline slapped her hand down on Stanwyck’s desk.

  “You are talking about me as though I am not here.” She tried to keep her voice calm, but it quavered. “I am an adult. I wish to leave with my brother first thing tomorrow. Mrs. Featherton has ordered a carriage for me,” she said, as though it were decided.

  Stanwyck leaned back in his seat. “By law, there’s nothing we can do if he wants to take you away.” He looked at Alexander. “What if you and Sutherland had men watch him for the night? I trust no one more than you.

  “I do not need a chaperone,” Jacob said, his eyes dark.

  Stanwyck and Alexander were bending over backward to be kind to Jacob after his horrible behavior. Anger swept through Caroline.

  “Jacob, do not be rude,” she said. “These men could have you arrested.”

  He quieted then.

  “Yes, we could. However, I don’t want to upset Miss Holland. If you give us your word that you won’t make mischief here, and you leave at once in the morning, we will give you a room. Only because you are Miss Holland’s brother. But I will post men outside your door.”

  Jacob rolled his eyes.

  Caroline wiped the tears gathering in her eyes. She would be leaving tomorrow, one way or another.

  She didn’t look at Alexander after that.

  Caroline defended her brother at her own expense. Alexander wondered if she had always been that way with him, and it made him see her differently. When he first met her, she seemed prim and humorless. But now, he saw her brother’s alarming behavior. He seemed arrogant almost to the point of belligerence, and Caroline seemed to be placating him the best way she knew how. Maybe he’d become that way after the injury.

  Regardless, he paced his bedchamber into the night, wishing there was more he could do to make sure Caroline would be safe.

  She wasn’t his to worry about, he told himself.

  Still, he walked back and forth over his bedchamber rug, while Louie watched from the bed.

  An understanding between them would never work. The differences in their station would be a disaster. He knew other members of society would not be as tolerant and kind as Lord and Lady Stanwyck had been. He could not be married to a subject of gossip.

  Alexander lit a candle next to his bed and sat down, watching it throw shadows across the floor. He shifted and pulled off each his boots, having let this valet retire before the party had ended.

  He didn’t want to worry about Caroline.

  He roughly pulled his shirt off over his head.

  He didn’t want to worry about anyone. He wanted to go back to being the Silent Earl people avoided, and hide at his empty, cavernous home, away from summer parties and incomparables and spinster lady’s companions.

  She made it clear she wanted to leave.

  He could do nothing to help her, even if he wanted to.

  Short of proposing to her.

  His chest prickled at the thought.

  She wouldn’t accept.

  He sighed and forced himself to go to bed.

  26

  Hours later, a scratch at the door woke Alexander. He squinted at the light coming through the window and looked at the clock on the mantel. It was almost eight o’clock in the morning, much later than he usually slept.

  His heart leapt at the sound at the door.

  Caroline?

  Then the door creaked open and a damp wet nose pushed its way in.

  Louie.

  The dog leapt up onto his bed without invitation and curled next to him.

  Wrong being. Wrong species.

  He pulled away and groaned as he stood. He hadn’t slept long. He felt stiff from the effects of alcohol and little sleep. He wondered how long ago Caroline and her brother had left.

  Louie stood up, wagged his tail and leapt from the bed in delight that Alexander was finally rising.

  “No, Louie. No playing today,” he told the dog.

  Louie’s tall wagged faster.

  He sighed, moving to the water table and splashed his face to wake himself.

  She was gone.

  Of course, she was, you fool. She and her brother had been asked to leave by the owner.

  She left without saying goodbye.

  Water dripped down his face.

  If she were mine, I could protect her.

  The thought burned in him. He sighed shakily. The idea hung thick in the air, and he needed to breathe.

  He changed into morning attire, smoothed back his hair and went downstairs with Louie on his heels.

  At the last moment, he turned down the hall to the bedchamber where the boy, Adam, was recovering.

  “How’s the young man doing today?” Alexander knocked gently on the door.

  The boy sat up in his bed as the nurse clucked around him.

  “I’ve brought you a friend.” He gestured to Louie.

  The boy was still pale and had purple bruises and cuts on his face, but he brightened when he saw the dog.r />
  His nurse, on the other hand, did not. She huffed when she saw Louie.

  “Careful with that dog. The boy’s healing. We can’t have an animal jump on him.”

  But the boy was already sitting up and petting Louie’s head.

  “We’ll stay but a moment,” Alexander said apologetically. “He’s a gentle dog.”

  The nurse sniffed unhappily.

  It was a small room, and with Alexander in it, he felt like a giant in a doll’s house. He made his way to the other empty chair and sat down.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  Adam stroked Louie’s head, seeming content. “Sore, but mostly bored,” he said, leaning back into the pillow.

  Alexander smiled.

  “That is what all the bravest soldiers say when wounded.”

  “Have you seen other soldiers hit by a horse?”

  Alexander winced. He still felt blame for the accident. His mind whirled for a moment, but he exhaled to slow down the images that flashed in his head.

  “Yes, I have seen horses run into soldiers,” Alexander said.

  “Were they all right? Did any of them die? Have you seen many dead bodies?” Adam said, excited.

  Alexander clasped his hands together helplessly and laughed.

  The nurse looked up from her embroidery and shushed Adam. “You’ll not be talking about bodies in here.”

  “Actually, no one I knew died from being hit by a horse, and yes, I have seen some dead men.” Alexander paused. “I’ll tell you about it when you feel better. That will be the first conversation we have once you start walking again.”

  Adam nodded, a wide smile on his small face.

  “Will you tell me about stabbing men?”

  Alexander coughed and glanced again at the nurse. “Yes, as long as you do what the nurse says, I will tell you all about my favorite stabbings. Both given and received.”

  The boy’s eyes widened.

  “You’ve been stabbed?”

  Alexander nodded. “Though not very seriously.”

  “What did it feel like?”

  “At first I didn’t feel it. Then it burned a great deal.”

  Adam nodded wisely as if he understood. “My leg burns too sometimes.”

  Despite the bruises and ghastly injuries, the boy gave him a lopsided grin that warmed Alexander. Stanwyck was right, he realized. Children were strong. Perhaps he would be all right.

  “I don’t remember when the horse hit me.”

  Alexander smiled at him.“That’s probably a good thing. Some things you shouldn’t remember.”

  Adam looked down to Louie’s soft head then back to Alexander. “But I don’t know if I was brave or not,” he said quietly.

  Alexander swallowed.

  He wanted to reply, but he feared his voice would crack with emotion.

  Instead he patted Louie’s head.

  “If you were there, you were brave,” he said finally.

  Adam scrunched his mouth to one side as though he were considering it. It would have been amusing had the boy not been so hurt.

  Alexander leaned closer. “I have a secret for you. Once you have been injured, you are in a special bravery club. You are one of the Walking Wounded. You don’t want to tell other people too much about it because they’ll feel bad for you. But we soldiers understand each other.”

  Alexander touched his nose with his finger, and Adam did the same and nodded solemnly.

  The nurse set down her embroidery and stood up. “That will be enough soldier talk. And enough animals for today.”

  Alexander nodded and stood. “Come on, Louie. We will talk tomorrow.”

  Adam’s dark head nodded. “Don’t forget to tell me about the stabbings.”

  “I won’t,” Alexander said, leading Louie out.

  Once outside, Alexander slumped against a wall. The boy had more bravery in his little finger than many battle-hardened soldiers he’d known. He’d forgotten about how children saw the world: black and white, good and bad. No shades in between.

  He would have liked to tell Caroline.

  She would understand. Even if he didn’t.

  27

  A week later, Caroline stood outside the cottage in Gloucestershire, beating a rug hung on a line between trees. It was a warm day, and though she was in the shade, her bodice felt damp. She dabbed a cloth to her forehead and waved away an insect.

  She wasn’t thinking about Alexander.

  She was thinking about money. Or her lack of it.

  So she had to look twice when she heard hoof beats coming down the isolated road to the cottage.

  Sweat rolled down Alexander’s back as he rode up to the cottage where he had been told Caroline and her brother lived. He had finally found it. Caroline was outside, and although he recognized her immediately, he looked twice at her, as she was both disheveled and dusty.

  Alexander halted and dismounted his horse.

  Caroline looked ridiculous, as though someone had dressed up her as a scarecrow, complete with streaks of dust on her face, dress, and unruly hair. But through it, he saw the familiar eyes and lovely pink cheeks.

  She held the wooden rug beater aloft. “What are you doing here?”

  He cleared his throat but didn’t answer. He’d hoped for a warmer greeting.

  “You just happened to be riding down my drive in Gloucestershire?” she said.

  Blast, this was not going well.

  “No, I came to find you. It took a while. Your relatives were not completely forthcoming with your location.”

  Caroline nodded knowingly. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  As if on cue, the cottage door opened and Caroline’s housekeeper, Anne, stepped outside, a frown on her face.

  “Can I help you, my lord?” she said, obviously coming to Caroline’s aid if she needed it. Alexander bowed politely to her.

  “Alexander Montgomery, ma’am, at your service. I’m a friend of Miss Holland’s,” Wolfolk said.

  Finally Caroline lowered the stick. “Lord Wolfolk, this is my housekeeper, Anne Harper. Anne, Lord Wolfolk, one of the guests at Howsham last month.”

  Anne looked him up and down. “If you need me, I’ll be inside. I’ll draw you a bath,” Anne said before she disappeared up the path to the cottage.

  Alexander looked at the cottage nestled in the trees. It was small but seemed cheerful, which comforted him.

  “I’m here to see you,” he said. Although it had only been a week, it felt much longer.

  Behind him, a carriage pulled onto the drive.

  “Lord, now, what?”

  “Actually, I believe this is my man,” Alexander said, turning as the carriage crunched to a stop. Indeed, the door held the Wolfolk crest. “I brought you a guest.”

  The carriage door opened, and a red blur shot from it and came straight for her.

  “Louie!” Caroline yelped. The dog ran and collapsed on her. He would only sit still after a long belly rub from Caroline.

  “He asked specifically to see you,” Alexander said, smiling at the scene. Caroline blew a strand of hair off her face and finally smiled at him. “I have another guest for you as well. Two, actually.”

  Alexander opened his jacket and inside a pocket was Jezebel the squirrel. He patted his shoulder, and she jumped up and stood on her hind legs as he handed her a peanut.

  “Jezebel! I thought Alice would keep her.”

  “She wanted to, but she will be traveling this winter and asked if you would mind watching her. I’ve been assured she’s very well trained.”

  Caroline smiled, leaning in to pick up the fluffy, brown squirrel, who perched right on her shoulder.

  “She’s getting so big.”

  Behind Louie, an older man in a suit bowed politely to her as he stepped out of the carriage.

  “Miss Holland, allow me to introduce my physician, Dr. Douglas.”

  “Hello,” Caroline said to the doctor. She eyed Alexander warily. “Why have you brought you
r physician?”

  “He’s here to meet with Jacob,” Alexander said. He saw confusion in Caroline’s face.

  “He specializes in cases like your brother’s.”

  Dr. Douglas nodded politely at Caroline. “Some refer to it as battle hysteria or ‘soldier’s heart,’” he said.

  Caroline stopped petting Jezebel and looked at Alexander incredulously.

  “Is your brother here?” Alexander asked. He hoped she’d be amenable to talking to the doctor.

  “Yes, although he’s still sleeping,”

  “I think Dr. Douglas will want to talk to you first privately … maybe we can all talk once we’ve had a chance to freshen up?”

  Caroline passed Jezebel back to Alexander and unwittingly wiped her hands on her dress instead of her apron, leaving a dirty smudge on her skirt. “Blast,” she whispered as Anne grasped her arm and pulled inside the cottage for a bath.

  Anne served Alexander and Dr. Douglas an impromptu meal of fruit, bread, cheese, and wine picnic-style while Caroline quickly bathed and changed into a fresh dress. She felt better and more presentable as she joined them on a blanket in front of the lawn, where the doctor asked her questions about Jacob’s injury and behavior. She was hesitant to talk at first, but she felt a level of relief she hadn’t expected as the doctor described the behavior of other men who experienced suffering similar to Jacob.

  Dr. Douglas explained he hoped Jacob wouldn’t have to be institutionalized as she originally feared. The doctor reassured her he could help, if her brother agreed.

  Caroline watched Alexander as they talked, amazed that he would come all this way to help her brother. He explained he had known other men who had suffered from inner battle scars and he thought “soldier’s heart” was more common than people realized. Caroline, grateful for his help, marveled that she ever thought he was a sullen, brooding man.

  An hour later, the wine and most of the food was gone, and the doctor explained that he would come back the next day to meet Jacob. He said treatment wouldn’t be certain or easy, but he thought he might help.

  After talking with the doctor, Caroline stood on the blanket as she watched the carriage pull back down the drive. She felt the breeze and fresh air on her face. For the first time in a long time, she felt hopeful. Maybe now, Jacob could be helped. After the doctor left, Alexander said he, too, should return to an inn in town, but he wanted a few minutes to talk to Caroline.