Pact of the Pack

by Deidre Huesmann

  Though anger welled within Aaron toward Holden, he didn’t know how much of her fury was delusional and how much was memory—if any at all. He let go a long, slow breath and brought her arms together as firmly as possible without hurting her.

  “Rachael,” he said. “I am not Holden.”

  She glared toward him.

  His voice growing stern, he repeated, “I am not Holden. Listen to my voice. Take a deep breath—you can smell me.”

  “I smell sex,” she said with utter disgust.

  “No. You do not.”

  Aaron kept repeating his words like a mantra. It was painful and mind-numbing, but trying to reach a lycan-in-transition often was. He drew from his well of patience and experience, allowing it to flow through him like a river.

  As much as he hated to admit it, Aaron’s mind wandered as he spoke. Sometimes he had to allow his thoughts to roam to keep his voice from growing terse or cold.

  So he thought of the woods in Keeton. He remembered how freeing it had felt to run through them the first time; how invigorating a moonlight hunt could be. Aaron recalled deeper memories of his years with Sanjana. The first time he found Nathan after a long search filtered in, as well as years of trying to train a petulant toddler how to be both human and wolf.

  Finally, something in Rachael seemed to snap into place. She stopped making animalistic sounds at him and her muscles began to relax.

  She stared at him for a long moment once he stopped speaking. Aaron forced his mind back to the present and watched her carefully.

  “Aaron?” she asked dubiously.

  He nodded and allowed his hands to drift down to hers, clasping her frigid fingers. “Yes.”

  Rachael let out a low, pained noise and leaned forward. Her forehead came to rest upon his shoulder. Limp arms dangled at her sides.

  Relieved she had broken free from her daze Aaron at last let go of his tension. Her breath was clammy against his skin, yet he couldn’t bring himself to move her. The proper thing to do would be to lie her back down and let her sleep—but she wasn’t just another infected.

  So he held her with caution. Aaron knew she could suffer another attack within minutes, but he didn’t let her go.

  After a while, when he thought she’d passed out again, Rachael mumbled against him, “Where are we?”

  She’d been told before. That she didn’t remember was actually a hopeful sign. One of a lycan’s weaknesses was short-term memory loss, and it was especially strong in new lycans, also known as pups.

  Gently, he reminded her, “We are hidden in a house in Reno. It is a temporary safe space.”

  “Mm.” Rachael stirred but didn’t leave his embrace. “Good.”

  Aaron desperately wanted to inquire about her fit. But even if he did, she didn’t seem fully lucid. He worried prying into it would just make her shut down. There was a reason she hadn’t wanted to speak of the specifics of her capture before; as a result, all any of them knew were broad-stroke basics.

  Now he had the feeling she had been forced into situations where the word unseemly wouldn’t begin to do her experience justice.

  Though there was a slightly grimy feel to Rachael due to her condition, Aaron petted her hair and waited for the fine tremors dancing through her to still. By the time he felt it was safe to tuck her back into bed, morning sunlight filtered through the blinds.

  Aaron ensured they were all firmly closed to the outside world before slipping into the hallway and heading toward the bathroom. Before anything else, he needed a shower.

  No matter how well he lathered, the sense of filth did not scrub off, and it coated him even further with guilt.

  With only one shared bathroom amongst them, showers were no longer considered a luxurious moment in the morning. Seritta woke after him and cleaned up, and then gave the baby a bath in the kitchen sink. One by one the rest got ready for the day’s work. Hardly anything needed to be said until they sat down in the sparse, tiny living room together.

  Aaron started his plan with, “Seritta will be with me. And only she will be with me.”

  “What about their better numbers?” inquired Jackson for the precisely the seventh time.

  His patience had almost dried up in his attempt to help Rachael that morning, but somehow Aaron was able to squeeze out a bit more. “We have not been able to locate Holden. He must have a plan for after infecting Rachael, and I cannot afford to leave defenses weak here. Particularly when we must leave the baby behind.”

  “Rudy,” snapped Seritta. “He has a name.”

  Ignoring her, Aaron continued, “Jackson, I am entrusting you and Ana Sofia with Rachael’s safety. Eva, the baby is your responsibility. Never allow him out of your sight. I highly suspect it is the kidnapper’s true target, even after our negotiations.”

  A pleased glimmer lit the woman’s eyes. She nodded so her long hair hid the rising corner of her mouth.

  “If anything seems to go sideways, we shall abort the exchange,” said Aaron grimly. “Considering Olivia may still be behind all of this, I do not know how likely our chances are of a smooth operation.”

  Still irritated, Seritta said, “She ain’t. I told you, this ain’t her style.”

  Aaron glanced at her with a small frown. While he agreed, he couldn’t afford to assume the rest of her pack would fail to be at the exchange point. So he said, “For the time being, we must assume maximum numbers and worst case scenario levels of mental illness. Therefore: hostility, threats, violence, and explosions.” He paused. “Possibly fire.” Never discount a pyro-enthusiast’s true love.

  Ana Sofia had sat solemnly throughout it all so far. But now she spoke. “But it is not until Sunday.”

  “Correct,” said Aaron firmly. “We will have this talk every morning until that day. I do not want anyone to forget their role. Forgetting is not an option.”

  His pack murmured assent.

  After going over a few more pertinent details, Aaron allowed his pack to disperse into their typical morning routines. Seritta closed herself in a room with the baby, Jackson and Eva cleaned, and Ana Sofia went to check on Rachael. Aaron considered following her, but she lifted her eyes to meet his and her expression was clear: she wanted Aaron, specifically, to leave her alone.

  She was still upset about the possibility of killing the baby. Aaron clamped down on his irritation and decided to step outside for some fresh air. Considering their circumstances, there was a very real possibility this would be his last chance to get some.

  A cold smile touched his features. Aaron had faced death many a time in the past. Yet never did it seem less frightening, and certainly never did he approach the concept recklessly.

  Especially when Nathan’s life was on the line more than his own.

  Ͼ

  While he was frustrated nobody had found Aaron’s new hideout yet, Holden chose not to stress over it.

  At least, he tried not to. As the pressure built up he realized he couldn’t completely talk himself down. He couldn’t hunt on his own and risk exposure at this point, so he was, unfortunately, completely reliant on his pack. Owen, Carly, and Maryanne expended clear effort with no immediate results, while Lacey and Laelia continued to go about their days as though the ultimate goal was of no importance to them.

  So Holden decided to bake cupcakes.

  Years ago he had promised red velvet with cream cheese to Rachael for her 18th birthday. Since their falling out, the urge had always been there but actually committing to the act had been emotionally painful.

  Now seemed the perfect time to get over it and move on.

  Holden collected what he needed from scratch from a local small shop in Reno. While his pack went through their normal routines, he sequestered himself to the kitchen to work.

  Once the batter had been poured and slid into the oven, Holden took a seat at the kitchen table. He sipped a glass of water and pulled out his phone. He needed mindless enjoyment while he waited.

  Though preoccupied, he wasn’
t completely immersed. Holden looked up when bare feet padded into the room, and he regarded Lacey coolly.

  She looked lovely. Her improved appearance the other day had proved not to be a fluke. Her hair was styled into a high ponytail and her clothes were fashionably breezy.

  “What’s up,” asked Holden.

  She couldn’t seem to meet his eyes, instead choosing to watch the oven. “Smells nice in here,” she said in a soft tone. That itself was unusual as of late.

  Holden smiled faintly. “I’m making cupcakes.”

  Lacey nodded, the corners of her mouth turned down slightly. “You haven’t done that in a long time.”

  “It felt appropriate,” he replied.

  She nodded again. They remained there awkwardly for a few minutes. Holden eventually turned back to his phone to continue reading.

  Suddenly she blurted, “You were right.”

  Unwilling to show his surprise, Holden kept his head down and said, “About?”

  Lacey’s abundant chest heaved in his periphery. “Sage. Rachael, for the most part. I guess... everything.” He heard her swallow, and then she added in the barest whisper, “My ego got too big for my position. And... I’m sorry.”

  Finally, he raised his head to observe her. Red flushed her face beneath the makeup. Her long lashes lowered so that they nearly grazed her cheeks, and Lacey’s arms remained folded as though hugging herself. Everything about her looked submissive in that moment. Uncomfortable.

  Holden placed his phone face-down on the table and rested his chin in one hand. “Maryanne offered to sleep with me. I’ve been thinking about taking her up on it.”

  Lacey winced, but then nodded. “That’s fair. I hope you enjoy it.”

  He narrowed his gaze, suspicious she had yet to meet his eyes. “I haven’t slept with Laelia again... yet.”

  That appeared to hurt her worse, but Lacey made a small noise of agreement. When he said nothing, she worked her mouth for a moment as she tried to find the right words. When she spoke it was to say, “You seem to have fun with her. I... I hope you still do.”

  Holden frowned.

  That she finally took notice of. Lacey reddened further and snapped, “What else do you want me to say, Holden? I have no voice in this anymore. I get it. You made it clear and I’m trying to accept that.”

  Quietly, he said, “It’s more than that, dear. None of that has been the real issue.”

  She groaned softly and pulled out the chair across from him. Though she could have touched their knees together by scooting forward—something she had done in the past as Primary—Lacey carefully kept her distance.

  “I’m sorry,” she said pathetically. “I know it’s—it’s the insubordination. Plotting with Sage.”

  Finally, she seemed to get it. Holden regarded her stoically. “She would be alive if you hadn’t convinced her to kill Rachael.”

  “I didn’t convince her!”

  Icily, Holden said, “No, dear, you just let her think she was doing you a huge favor. You used her. Whether you meant to or not.”

  For a moment he thought she was going to shout at him. Instead Lacey bit her lip hard. She chewed on the bit of flesh for a moment, and then said bleakly, “If I could go back....”

  “You can’t.”

  She was practically begging. This had to be embarrassing for her, but something deeper than pride finally spurred her to this. “Holden, please. I’m trying to make this work.”

  Impatient, he lowered his voice. “You blamed all the wrong people, Lacey. And I might have been okay with it, but instead of working with me, you pushed me away. Even if Laelia hadn’t been a factor, the end result would have been the same at the rate you were going. Nothing changed until I made it change. That’s why I’m alpha, Lacey, and it’s why you don’t deserve a voice anymore. You’re selfish.”

  “How is anything you did with Rachael not selfish?” she argued.

  He exhaled through his nose. “It is. And letting myself get carried away with her tricks was a mistake. But here’s the thing.” Holden held her gaze, focusing on the brilliant mixture of human copper and lycan gold that wavered with uncertainty in her irises. “I owned up to it. I accepted it. I did my moping, and then I moved on.” He leaned forward and stated, “You’ve—done—nothing. Nothing to show me you’ve learned, nothing to prove you’re learning to let go.”

  Flatly, Lacey asked, “What part of infecting Rachael was letting her go?”

  “She’ll probably die,” said Holden in a similar tone. “She might live, but if she’s as traumatized as I think you helped make her, the madness of it all might kill her. I’m half expecting it.”

  “But half not.”

  Holden shrugged.

  Lacey opened her mouth as though to protest, thought better of it, and shifted in her seat. “Holden, if you don’t want me here, then just tell me. I’ll leave.”

  A flicker of pity for her glimmered to life. Gently, he said, “If I wanted you gone, Lacey, I would have made sure of that already.”

  She frowned but didn’t answer.

  Holden sat back and glanced at the timer on the stove. In a few minutes he’d have to check the progress of the cupcakes.

  “What exactly do you expect by staying with us?” he asked.

  Lacey shrugged helplessly. “Nothing. I guess... I just want things to be right between us.”

  Holden cocked his head. “That’ll take time.”

  “I know.”

  “Maybe a lot of time, after all this.”

  She cringed but repeated, “I know. I’m prepared for that.”

  “It can’t just be between us,” continued Holden relentlessly. “I know Laelia’s,” he hesitated, but delicately continued, “different, but you need to make the effort there. And with the others. We’re all family now, dear. We’re a team. You need to want that.”

  “I do,” she said quickly. This time it was she who leaned forward. Her eyes desperately searched his. Lacey’s face fell a little when she didn’t seem to find what she was looking for. “I do want it. I’ll be nice. I’ll drop my grudges. I’ll get to know them—all of them. I swear.”

  This time when Holden watched her for sincerity, he found a little more than he’d expected. Though her frequent “I” statements rubbed him the wrong way, he thought she shone with earnest. There was a light to her he hadn’t seen in months.

  Firmly, he said, “I’m not promising any position of Primary back. Not now, maybe not ever. That was a train wreck.”

  “That’s okay,” she said. A tinge of relief colored her voice. “Really. I’ll just be another member of the pack and work to earn your trust again. The others should be family; I’ll work on that, too. I—I still love you, sweetie, but I’ll bite my tongue.”

  Something inside Holden’s chest cracked. He stood up and circled the table to her. Lacey sat rigidly, but Holden pulled her up and hugged her tightly. A shuddering sigh escaped her, warming his shoulder.

  “Don’t do that,” he murmured into her ear, so low any eavesdroppers would be unable to hear him. “I appreciate your honesty. And I still love you, too.” He pulled back but didn’t let go of her. “But I can’t trust you. Not yet.”

  Lacey nodded meekly but offered a hint of her old smile.

  Warmth began to trickle into Holden’s heart. “I’m going to send Owen and Carly on another hunt tomorrow,” he explained gently. “You should go with. Get to know them. They’re immature, but they’re good people. They came to us in honesty and I trust them.”

  She murmured agreement.

  The timer beeped. Holden hesitated, but then released her to switch it off. He slipped a mitt over his left hand and opened the oven. Using a toothpick to test the cupcakes, Holden was pleased when each came back only slightly moist.

  He pulled the confections from the oven and set them on the stove. After the heat was turned off, he turned to Lacey and smiled. “Want to help decorate?”

  She was, of course, eager to please.
>
  Chapter Thirteen

  Nathan knew the time had come when they opened the cage.

  All three showed up; Vahn, Audrey, and Cindy. Before Nathan could even think about shifting back to human form, Audrey grabbed him and Cindy slipped a leather muzzle over his snout. Though he tried to fight, the three easily restrained him. The straps pulled with sickening tightness. If he tried to turn human now, he knew, the muzzle was strong enough to possibly break something in his face in the effort.

  Vahn knelt before him while the women clipped a collar on him, along with a short leash. “Remember, kiddo, this is only temporary. Can’t have you ruining this exchange. Once you get to your brother, I’m sure he’ll take it off.”

  Cindy smiled sweetly. “I dunno. If he’s really in love with Aaron’s girl, maybe he’ll keep it on.”

  Nathan whimpered.

  “Oh, come on. Don’t be cruel,” said Vahn without any real malice.

  Audrey took the leash in her hand and wrapped the extra length around her palm. Nathan was left with very little slack. “All right. Let’s do this.”

  They led him through the door and up a steep, concrete flight. When Nathan stepped off the last stair and into sunlight, it hurt. He squeezed his eyes shut against the glare until the stinging subsided. Then, slowly blinking, he took in his surroundings.

  They’d kept him underground, all right. And the door leading to it could easily be dismissed as a tornado shelter. The location reminded him of Holden’s house, where they had rescued Rachael, in that the location seemed to be the middle of nowhere in the desert. Other than that it was very different.

  The “shelter” was an acre away from any livable space, and the one they walked toward was a tiny brick building that couldn’t possibly fit Olivia’s entire pack.

  In fact, Nathan would have been surprised if anyone other than these three were present. Where are the others? he wondered while turning his head.