Release

by Aly Martinez

  And then Ramsey kissed me, deep and frantic like a boy.

  Gentle and skilled like a man.

  All-consuming and claiming like my forever.

  And he did it all tasting like watermelon gum.

  After Thea and I left our tree that afternoon, we got a hotel and spent the rest of the night lying in the bed, talking, laughing, and making love like we were carefree kids on vacation from the real world. When our bodies were sated and our cheeks ached, the rising sun brought a whole new set of problems: the future.

  That saying about the truth setting you free was bullshit. The truth was nothing more than a needle you could use to slowly chip away at the concrete walls of betrayal. It was going to take time for our hearts to stop hurting, the what-ifs to fade into what was, and the gaping wounds of regret to scab over.

  But with Thea at my side, we made plans to do it together.

  The first step in our future was getting the hell out of that town.

  “I can’t stay there, Lee. I’ll end up going back. I know I will.”

  He rocked back in his chair and steepled his fingers under his chin. “Caskey’s a good officer. He allowed his emotions to get the best of him when he showed up at your house. His captain has assured me—”

  “And I’m assuring you his captain can’t do shit to stop him. I’m not saying he’s a bad cop. But he is a pissed off officer of the law who has the man who killed his brother working in his jurisdiction and living only minutes outside of it. That is not a safe environment—for either of us. Trust me, I’ve done a lot of shit to protect my family. I do not doubt that he will do the same to reap revenge.” I leaned forward, resting my palms on the front of his desk. “I’m begging you. Let me take Thea and move to Savannah or Duluth. Or…anywhere that I’ll get a fair shake at things. The sixty-mile radius the parole board has me on is not far enough away for me to have a fresh start.”

  His forehead crinkled with contemplation. He knew I was right. But I could only imagine the paperwork involved in getting me transferred, especially given that the request was made because of an upstanding cop.

  “You can’t leave Georgia.”

  “I understand that. But the state is two hundred and ninety-eight miles long and two hundred and thirty miles wide. That’s a lot of space I could put between us.”

  “Okay. Let’s say for a minute that I agree with you. You going to be able to find a steady residence, work, transportation?”

  “Yeah.” I cut my gaze over his shoulder and ground my teeth. I hated this part the most.

  Well, that wasn’t totally true. I hated the spending-almost-half-my-life-in-a-cell part the most. But the idea of Thea having to take care of me for the next few years came in a close second. However, if that was what it would take to get us out of Clovert and Thomaston, and away from the Caskeys, ending this entire fucking nightmare once and for all, then I was going to suck it up. For a while.

  “I got a girl.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Everybody’s got a girl, Stewart. Until your eye starts wandering, she kicks you out, you get fired, and have no place to go. Few nights and you get picked up by the local PD. Then this little transfer request I’m making on your behalf comes back and bites me in the ass. Hard.”

  “My eye hasn’t wandered in eighteen years. Thea’s it for me. As soon as I can save up enough for a ring, I’m going to ask her to marry me. Start a life together. Maybe later, give her some babies. Give them all the things we didn’t have growing up. That’s the dream, right? Giving your wife and kids better than you had?”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Marriage and babies isn’t going to fix your problems. You been locked up for a long time. You sure you want to tie yourself down so soon?”

  My lips hitched as I imagined my Sparrow’s brown hair flowing in the breeze. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I want. Since I was eleven years old and saw her running across a hayfield. Being tied down to her was my only dream. I spent every day while I was in prison trying to make her run the opposite direction, but not my girl. She’s never stopped sprinting toward me. It’s time for her to take a breather. I got a lot of time to make up for, but I can’t do that staying here in town, where I’m constantly looking over my shoulder.”

  I inched to the edge of my seat, just short of dropping to my knees. “Look, I was a model inmate, never written up for behavior once. I don’t drink or do drugs. My idea of a wild and crazy night is letting Thea pick the movie. I have plans. A woman. A sister. A life waiting for me. I don’t want to go back. But I’m terrified if I stay here I’m going to lose everything all over again. I just need a transfer. Hell, you can even pick the place.”

  He stared at me for a long second. “And what about work? You’ve been working for her dad. It’s not going to be as easy to find a job without connections.”

  “Thea owns a company and can work from anywhere. She’ll put me to work. And let me tell you, Lee, she is pissed as all hell at me right now, so it’s going to be serious shit-work for quite a while.”

  He barked a laugh. “You want me to sign this transfer, I’d keep your relationship problems to yourself.”

  “Oh, there’s no problem. She’ll enjoy watching me suffer. I’ll enjoy that she’ll enjoy it. And then late at night, when she crawls into my bed feeling a little guilty and a lot sweet, I’ll enjoy it in different ways. But only if I can—”

  He waved me off. “Get out of here.”

  “Exactly.”

  He clicked on the mouse of his computer, illuminating the screen. “No. I mean. Get out of my office. I’ve heard you, and I need to get some work done today that doesn’t entail listening to you vomiting hearts and flowers.”

  My stomach sank, not knowing if he was going to look into my request or not. “Lee, I—”

  “Out,” he rumbled, staring at his computer screen.

  Resigned for fear of pissing him off, I rose from my chair and started toward the door. He did, after all, have my future in the palm of his hand.

  No sooner than I reached for the doorknob, he called, “When you were assigned to me, I went through your file. I saw the pictures of what he did to her.”

  I turned to look at him. “I see them every time I blink.”

  His face got soft. “I got four daughters, Ramsey. One of ’em came home looking like that…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I got a buddy in Dahlonega. Nice little mountain town. You and Thea will have all the privacy you need to get to know each other again.”

  Relief tore from my lungs, stripping the emotion from my throat on the way out. I looked like a pussy, but I had not one fuck to give as I choked out, “Really?”

  He nodded. “Give me a few days to get all the paperwork filed. I’ll sign off on a travel pass so you two can start hunting for a house, but check back with me before putting down a deposit, okay?”

  I nodded at least a dozen times, the constant pressure in my chest slowly deflating. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  He jerked his chin to the door. “Lead a good life. Be kind to people. Help your girl heal. Forgive yourself. Stay out of trouble. Make the world a better place. And raise those kids to be better people than any of us. That’s how you thank me.”

  “I can do that,” I rasped.

  He didn’t say anything else, and after a minute, I’d finally collected myself enough to walk out to Thea, who was waiting in the 4Runner.

  “What’d he say?” she rushed out when I opened the door.

  I slid into my seat, shut my door, and caught her at the back of her neck. Hauling her in, I pressed a hard kiss to her already tender lips.

  “This is not an answer,” she mumbled against my mouth.

  Chuckling, I released her. “Dahlonega.”

  Her lips curled into a breathtaking smile. “That’s like four hours away.”

  “We can get a little cabin in the mountains. Disappear for a few years until I finish my parole. Hopefully, if we really stick to a budget, I’ll be able to save up enough
money so we can travel when I’m done. It won’t be Paris, but I should be able to afford Ohio.”

  “I have money,” she whispered. “I have so much money, Ramsey.”

  I laughed and tugged on my seat belt. “So you’ve mentioned. But it’s important to me that I can at least contribute to our lives together. It’s not going to be nearly as much as you, Little Miss Money Bags, but I can try.”

  She kept grinning at me as she started the engine. “It’s you and me. It’s always been you and me. And it will always be you and me. Let’s make a deal. This lifetime is on me. You can take the next.”

  Muscles I hadn’t known I possessed sagged for the first time in over twelve years.

  She wasn’t wrong.

  This lifetime.

  The next.

  And in all the ones that followed, Althea Floye Hull—soon-to-be Stewart, though she didn’t know it yet—would always be mine.

  Before she put the car into reverse, I leaned in for another kiss. I took this one deeper, opening my mouth and indecently dueling with her tongue in the middle of the parking lot.

  I kissed her with a passion that burned in my soul.

  I kissed her with apologies I’d never stop issuing.

  But most of all, I kissed her with the promise of a future.

  We’d eventually fight about the money.

  We’d fight about Nora.

  We’d fight about the lies.

  Bitterness and guilt would rear their ugly heads more often than I ever would have imagined.

  But through it all, we would be together. A team.

  The way it was always supposed to be.

  When she pulled away, I was breathless and smiling inside and out. Hope surged through my veins like the most potent drug I would ever need.

  “Really?” She glared at me.

  “What?”

  She shot me an incredulous grin, revealing my secret gum trapped between her teeth.

  “Hey! Give me that back, you little thief.” I plucked it from her mouth and popped it right back into mine, tucking it under my tongue for safe keeping.

  Her glare turned into a scowl. “It’s strawberry.”

  “Yeah? So?”

  “What happened to watermelon?”

  I waved a hand out in a grand gesture. “I’m broadening my horizons. Trying new things. Experiencing life.”

  “Ah. That explains the porn.”

  “Oh my God! You did not just bring that up again. It was one time, Thea. One time. Let it go.”

  She started laughing. “Yeah, right. I’m not letting go of that kind of gold anytime soon.”

  Right. I’d be two hundred and seventy-five years old and she’d roll over in the grave to make fun of me for it.

  And because it was her…

  I’d love every damn second of it.

  Six years later…

  All nine of the people who had been on the puddle-jumper plane from Atlanta to Clovert milled around us as the drone of an unanswered phone played in my ear. I huffed and hit the end button only to call again.

  “It’s okay, babe,” Ramsey rumbled. “I’m sure he just got stuck in traffic or something.”

  “Do you understand that Joe Hull does not do late? Like ever. Never ever.”

  His lips twitched as he threw his arm around my shoulders. “I know. It’s always boggled my mind how he produced someone who is as habitually late as you are.”

  I craned my head back and glared at him.

  His only response was to blind me with the Ramsey Stewart special.

  After we’d sold the house in Thomaston and moved to the mountains of Dahlonega, my life with Ramsey slowed down. Just as we’d planned, we got a secluded cabin and spent our days cursing the shitty internet while trying to work and our nights cuddled around the fireplace, getting to know each other again. It was the craziest thing, considering we were teens the last time we’d spent any significant amount of time together, but within a matter of days, everything fell back into place—kinda.

  It was like the bare bones of our relationship was still there—strong as ever—but our emotions were all over the place.

  We’d bicker and relentlessly pick on each other.

  But he’d watch me from across the room, his brows drawn and storms brewing in his eyes as if he were waiting for me to disappear.

  He hated sitting around the house all the time, but he’d get overwhelmed when we spent too much time exploring our new town.

  He was the first one in bed each night, naked with a sci-fi book cradled in his hand. But as he fell asleep, he’d toss and turn while becoming reacquainted with sleeping on a soft mattress. Much like everything in our lives, it was a process. One he seemed to finally master when he learned the fine art of sliding into me from behind when he’d wake up anxious in the middle of the night.

  For those first few months, having him back was so surreal. And beautiful. And perfect. And everything I’d dreamed of. But most of all, it was terrifying, because as the days passed, I was more and more convinced I was going to lose him again.

  This meant, when we’d bicker and relentlessly pick on each other, I’d laugh until I’d burst into gut-wrenching sobs. He’d hold me and kiss me and reassure me, but the fear never truly left.

  Then it was me chewing on my nails and watching him playing solitaire on the coffee table as if he were going to vanish with my next blink.

  And at night, when I’d wake up with nightmares that he was gone again, he’d wrap me in his arms, whispering how much he loved me and vowing that he’d never leave. This was how I learned the fine art of climbing on top of him and riding him hard and steady until my sated mind allowed me to rest.

  Nine months, one week, and four days after Ramsey had come home, we got into a huge argument over absolutely nothing. What can I say? The man had no clue how to load the dishwasher, turn the damn lights off, or transfer clothes into the dryer. As most arguments do, it spiraled and zigzagged through petty annoyances that had nothing to do with the reason the fight had started. Shortly after he’d shouted at me that I always parked crooked in the driveway, I slammed the bedroom door and went to bed that night alone.

  The smell of bacon and coffee as I exited my room the next morning melted any lingering frustration. And then the sight of Ramsey Stewart on one knee in the middle of our small kitchen, holding a diamond ring, melted me completely.

  “It’s over,” he whispered. “We still have a long way to go, but I feel like the past might really be behind us. Last night, we argued. You slept in the bed. I slept on the couch. Neither of us disappeared. I didn’t freak out. As far as I know, you didn’t, either. I didn’t go back to prison. The world didn’t end. We were just two normal people fucked up and madly in love, arguing over meaningless bullshit. I want that forever, Sparrow.”

  I slapped a hand over my mouth. It wasn’t at all the grand proposal women dreamed about, yet it was more romantic than anything I’d ever heard.

  But Ramsey, being Ramsey, couldn’t leave it at that. “Your hair looks like a family of birds took up residence in it overnight and you’re not even wearing a tank top that shows your nipples, but I have never and will never in my entire life want to marry someone more.”

  My heart was so full I didn’t even give him shit before diving into his arms and smothering him with kisses. Eventually, I said yes, and then we made love on the floor in our kitchen until the bacon burned and set off the smoke alarms. As we ran around the kitchen in various degrees of undress, laughing and opening the windows to air out the house, I realized just how right he was.

  From the outside, no one would have guessed the heartbreak and drama that had tainted our lives. And for once, we didn’t feel the all-consuming repercussions of it, either.

  And that was when I finally forgave Nora.

  I would love to say that, when things had worked out with me and Ramsey, I’d been able to immediately mend my relationship with her. It would be a lie though. I struggled for months trying
to figure out why the betrayal burned so much hotter with her.

  But that day, with a diamond on my finger, while I watched my future husband run around in a cloud of bacon smoke as a symphony of smoke detectors screamed all around us, I realized I loved my life.

  And with that kind of freedom, the coulda, shoulda, woulda game didn’t matter anymore.

  It was hard to be bitter and angry when you had everything you ever wanted. And dammit, I wanted Nora to be a part of that. We did a lot of crying that first night on the phone. She apologized for not telling me the truth. I apologized for not being there when she’d needed someone. And Ramsey nervously paced, waiting to pick up the pieces.

  She drove up the next day and spent the weekend with us. We did a lot of crying then too. Explaining, talking things through with and without Ramsey, and eventually burying it all in the past where it belonged.

  Two weeks later, Ramsey got permission from his parole officer to drive back to Clovert. We’d sworn we wouldn’t go back until his parole had ended, but when it came to having a wedding, there was only one place we wanted to be.

  With only my father at my side and Nora at Ramsey’s, we vowed forever in an intimate ceremony under our old tree. I wore a beautiful white dress and hired a photographer to document the occasion. But nothing made me happier than when we returned to the safety and security of our home the very next day.

  We lived the next two years of our lives like most newlyweds. We made love. We watched movies and grilled out. We argued over more stupid crap. But unlike other couples, we woke up every morning marking off days on a calendar that counted down until our lives could truly begin again.

  The day Ramsey was released from parole, it felt like we’d both been freed. We spent weeks moving all of our belongings into a storage unit so we could drive straight to the airport and buy two tickets on the next flight to Las Vegas as soon as we got the final paperwork. From there, we went to California and Arizona before hopping across the ocean to spend a week in Hawaii.

  That was where Ramsey got his first tattoo. He’d been talking about it for years. I had to admit, being as fond as I was of his naked body, I was hesitant at first. But after the way his face lit when he showed me sketches of his ideas, there was no way I ever would have argued.