by Daya Daniels
In a flash, I take hold of her arm to keep her from rolling anywhere like into the sea. “I let her go, Brooks.”
My eyes narrow.
“I let her go.” She lifts her head a bit.
Quickly, I collect some rainwater in my hand and encourage her to drink it.
She mumbles those same words over and over.
I almost will myself to say something pacifying, but it isn’t necessary because soon, her head lowers and she’s asleep again.
I return to staring up at the sky and drinking the rain.
And think…
No radar…which means our last position wasn’t marked on earth’s map. No distress call made…which means they probably don’t know we’re in trouble but must’ve figured it out by now. No phone…because they told me to leave it behind!
Tenley had done the same.
God
DAMN
it.
I have no clue where we are, exactly, but I’m guessing by now we’re drifting in some part of the Indian Ocean. Hopefully, we don’t float to fucking Antarctica before the current decides to give us some reprieve.
How long will we drift for? How long before this debris decides to give up and sinks to the depths of the sea? How long before the delirium sets in? How long before we starve or die from dehydration?
The questions in my mind are endless.
All I know is that this isn’t the place we want to be if even for just a day…whatever that even is anymore.
They’ll find us.
They’ll know where to look.
Everything will be fine.
I repeat the words over and over in my head like a mantra—like a goddamn prayer.
One we need ever so badly.
And then I pause and exhale a shaky breath because I mustn’t forget that an entire commercial airliner was lost out here in this treacherous godforsaken sea many years ago.
It was never heard from or seen again.
If they couldn’t find two hundred and thirty-nine passengers, what in the ever-loving fuck makes me believe they’ll ever find the two of us.
Tenley
TAP. TAP. TAP.
My eyes flutter open.
TAP. TAP. TAP.
I’m nudged awake by the sensation from the water which drips on my skin and trickles down and over my face. Aside from the sound of it, it’s eerily silent.
Shivering, I roll onto my side, disoriented.
We’re floating.
My ears perk up at the distant chirp of a bird…The buzz of an insect. The constant drip of water.
Everything is dreamlike.
There’s no wind.
Gosh, how could I forget the wind?
Suddenly, everything that had happened crashes into me.
I groan.
My movements are clunky and slow. My dress is torn and bloody and my fingers are pruned. And when I roll the other way, the nightmare is confirmed.
Brooks is supine and facing the sky, still wearing his fancy suit.
I flinch, eyes fixed on his chest but then my posture relaxes when it rises and falls with his breaths.
He’s asleep.
Thank God.
For a moment, I worried he might’ve been dead.
We float in the expanse of dark water. There are no waves though, only flat sea. There is no sun either because it’s covered up by the clouds. The rain continues to fall softly, pattering the ocean.
I run a palm over my face and pull my shaky hand away from it, sucking in a harsh breath at all the crimson which stains my skin.
How long have we been floating for?
Where is Peni?
My tears fall helplessly and then I’m hyperventilating.
How could this happen?
I cover my face with my hands and allow myself a moment of self-pity but then I’m yanked right out of it at the sound of rippling water. Whatever is beneath the deep blue sea zips by—left then right, right then left. It happens again on the other side of this busted piece of old boat. My head swings from left to right and then my eyes narrow once more. A helpless gasp follows then my heart beats a little faster, hopeful.
Just through the thick blanket of fog—a canopy of palm trees, jagged rocks, white sand…
A beach?
I swallow and almost speak, almost scream, but no words escape me.
Because another ripple happens.
But still, I see nothing.
I crawl to the edge of the broken piece of boat we’re floating on and peer into the water, searching, curious.
“Tenley…don’t…move.” Brooks’ voice stills me.
I remain statue still, eyes only moving left then right. I back away slowly from the edge and toward where Brooks has shifted to a sitting position. “What is—” My gasp gets stuck in my throat.
A black-tipped dorsal fin breaks the ocean’s surface. And then another and another.
“Stay quiet.” Brooks’ fingers curl around my arm, the other clutches the axe.
Is he planning to fight these sharks off with an axe?
I couldn’t think of anything more ridiculous! But I suppose we can’t go down without a fight.
The panic in his eyes is evident.
He shuts them for a beat and then they’re back on the water where the sharks circle us. “I knew this would happen. Fuck.” His jaw clenches tight. Then he looks around. “This thing is sinking.” He gives it another look. “It’s definitely sinking.” He touches my face and swipes up some of the blood. “And your blood is running into the water.” He shuts his eyes. “Tenley…” They open.
“Brooks.”
“Tenley.” His voice cracks.
“Brooks.”
“Shhh. Stay very quiet.”
The rain falls.
Another ripple, then a soft splash.
Can the monsters see us?
Are they waiting for this piece of boat to sink?
Can they taste my blood in the water?
Can they smell it?
We’re still drifting…I think in the direction of that beach.
And then a bump.
“Fuck.” Brooks surveys the water and then his eyes are back on me. They hold a sadness in them that saturates my very soul. It weighs me down and makes me feel heavier than I already do. The look in his eyes spells DOOM.
His breaths are as shaky as mine. And his hand trembles…same as mine.
Cool water touches my skin from another splash from the monsters below. It happens again and again but it isn’t a frenzy, more like a patient survey. A savage animal toying around and poking at the inevitable kill it will make.
Thick fingers clutch my arm tighter.
My eyes are stuck on the water…accepting that death lives just a breath away and only this crooked piece of boat is what separates us right now, hopefully, from utter calamity.
It all feels surreal.
The trickle of the rain. And the blue, so much blue. A soft wind. A gentle splash.
Still my blood drips…
It flows from my temple, over my sun-kissed skin, saturates my wet dress, and then it trickles into the water. We’re stripped, naked as newborns and afraid. So fucking afraid.
Another dorsal fin rises, attached to a form that is gray, menacing, and measures at least six feet from the dorsal fin to the tail. Which means we are being circled by a twelve-foot shark and its troublesome comrades.
There’s no wind and we hardly breathe any breaths which are audible. Only the pitter patter of the rain against the flat surface of the sea serves as a backdrop to our dazed panic.
Exhaustion and bewilderment mar Brooks’ features as he looks around.
Lips parted, I do the same.
Disbelief.
Dismay.
Defeat?
A soft wave pulls us farther in.
“Tenley, we might not m-m-make it, okay.” He looks up at the sky and the gasp that leaves him pulverizes the already shattered pieces of my heart. I’ve never
seen him like this—afraid, terrified, just like I am.
“Don’t say that.” I sniffle.
Brooks smiles but it’s a scared one. “I don’t want to lie to you.”
“I am going to make it back to James.” I shake my head profusely not wanting to believe otherwise. Just the thought of my immediate death hurts too much to think about. It feels too final to be gone completely. It’s too soon. We must live… “And you are going to make it back to Joy.” I sob more. “And we’re going to have our regular Friday night dinners again, together, like we’ve always had back in Chicago. That’s the end of this discussion. I won’t hear anything different.”
Another bump.
But another wave follows.
Brooks looks away from me. “You can’t say we’ll make it, Tenley. You just can’t say that.”
“I can, because all we have to do is get off this busted piece of wood.” My voice is weak and pathetic.
His thick dark brows knot severely. “And go where? There are sharks in the water.”
My suggestion enrages him.
But it isn’t false hope I’m attempting to offer.
Instead, I say no more, only point ahead and over his shoulder with a wilting index finger.
Brooks twists around.
I smile weakly.
And when he glances back at me tears shine in his blues. “I don’t fucking believe it.”
I chuckle.
He does too. “Land ahoy.”
Another wave pushes us forward.
“Land ahoy.” Laughing softly, tears stream thickly down my cheeks which mix in with the gentle rain.
Soon, we’re drifting toward our temporary home.
Brooks
IN LESS THAN A few hours after collapsing on the white sand of the pristine beach that isn’t far away from where we now rest, night has fallen again. Which means we’d been drifting for far longer than I had thought. Which means we’d been asleep for much longer than I originally thought too. It’s as if everything has slipped away…especially time.
Tick.
Tock.
Hours ago, when we were lying there on that beach, exhausted, depleted, and hungry, Tenley sobbed to no end. I assured her that it would only be a matter of time that they’d find us.
They’ll find us.
They’ll know where to look.
Everything will be fine.
My words calmed her even though I was no semblance of calm myself.
I yelled when Tenley wouldn’t listen. Without a doubt, I knew her hysteria was only fueled by fear. The same caution that’s sunk its way deep in my gut ever since I set foot on Gus’ boat. And since then…ever since last night only worry has filled my head—thoughts of Joy and visions of her tears as well as my mother’s. I’ve concerned myself with what the authorities might have told my family and what they’ve told James who must be out of his mind wondering what’s happened to Tenley.
She’s right here, still breathing, heart beating, alive.
I wish I could tell James that and grace my wife with the same words of hope.
But people are searching. I know they are. They must be. They’ll trace our last steps, nail down our whereabouts and at first light tomorrow boats will be cruising the sea and airplanes and helicopters will be flying above searching for us. Because they must.
Roughing a hand over my face, I gaze up at the night sky, stare at the moon and muster a smile. I’m grateful to be alive even though my body aches. I’m long overdue for a good night’s rest and a meal and my skin is dry from being submerged in the salty sea for so long. But, I’m happy I’m alive.
All I can think of is home and how I need to get back there, soon.
And we will be.
I promised Tenley that.
Now, we’re perched against a massive palm tree. Its broad leaves provide shelter from the rain which continues to fall lightly. A small fire crackles a few feet away. Its orange glow warms us, and now, we’re at least semi-dry. I’d kicked off my shoes long ago. They rest next to the fire, drying.
I twist my lips when I look at those shoes and remember that I paid five hundred and sixty-nine bucks for those fancy shoes. Now they’re reduced to nothing but simple footwear that’s now covered in beach sand and dirt and saturated with salt water.
A sigh slips from me.
I’ve spent the last hour warming my toes, thinking of the next move we’d need to make.
Tenley is asleep beneath my suit jacket.
It’s been a long fucked-up day.
Cautiously while standing on that beach, I stood straight with my hands at my sides. Taking a deep breath, I peered into the dark expanse of the palm trees forcing myself not to be alarmed by the haunting caws from the birds, hoots of the owls, snapping of dead branches and hissing of the insects. I knew they’d be the least of my problems.
Were there wild animals here?
Gators? Snakes? Kong?
Flesh-hunting humans?
Besides, what about food?
Tenley begged me not to take another step.
But I had to know more about the land which we had just invaded…for our own safety.
In her mind, Tenley thought it was more reasonable to stay on this beach until someone came to rescue us. The tide would only rise. We had to move more inland. I knew we couldn’t stay on the fucking beach.
So, I snatched up the axe, told her to stay put, and went wandering into the thick brush.
I’d need to explore more.
So far though, no people and no flesh-eating animals. Only a small fresh water lagoon. A limestone cave on the other side just off a beach where the rocks are jagged and the cliffs there are dangerous. The vantage point allowed me to see just how many coral reefs surround this island. They’ve been known to rip the hulls of ships completely apart and sink entire vessels. And this island is practically fenced in by them. If the tide hadn’t been high when we floated here on that piece of debris, we likely wouldn’t have made it over them.
Funny how timing is, isn’t it?
We are, however, in the midst of lots and lots of birds including one very large albatross.
But I did emerge from the forest of palm trees with coconuts and a banana for which Tenley was grateful.
The tide was at its lowest then.
We sat on the beach as the waves washed in and savored the fruit together while the sharks frolicked in the water, their dorsal fins cutting through the sea. But they couldn’t get us, even if we had decided to step back into the sea.
A little laugh rips from me but it quickly disappears. Reaching into my pocket, I find my Swiss Army knife and press a kiss to it. Twisting around, I stab the banyan tree behind me and carve a line in it marking “one.” Every single time the sun disappears and the moon shows, I promise I’ll make another scar in the bark in order to keep track of time, before we lose it completely.
A breath escapes me, long and loud.
We should never have gotten on that motherfucking boat. I felt it. I knew it. And now, I regret it.
I fumble with the box of cigarettes near the fire, remove one, put it to my lips and light it up. The first draw feels so familiar. In fact, it’s the only familiar thing I’ve done today… And it feels good, provides me with some equilibrium in the very unstable world I’m in right now. Lost. Far away from home. Terrified for the future and every single day beyond it.
“I let her go.” Tenley’s mumbles earn my attention.
God, I wish she’d stop talking about that damn monkey…
“I let her go.” Her lashes flutter. “I let her go, Brooks.”
I smile. “She’s fine. I promise you, Tenley. She’s fine.”
“You think?”
“Yes.”
Besides, monkeys have their own mothers…And you’re not a monkey.
“I miss James.”
“I know.”
“I miss James so much.”
“I know.”
Tenley leans against me
, half-asleep and half-awake.
“The moon is hypnotic.” She gazes up at the sky.
“It is.” I smile, wondering how she could manage to see the beauty in all the horror currently happening.
“Maybe it will guide them to us.”
“I hope so, Tenley.”
Peering into her eyes, I chuckle a bit, because she’s looking right back at me. Only she isn’t awake, truly. These episodes of Tenley talking in her sleep are becoming more frequent. Or, perhaps it’s just something she does…If she was truly awake, she’d undoubtedly be shooting me dirty looks for smoking. But instead, this Tenley only smiles, and I appreciate that. I have twenty-seven of these bad boys left and I plan to use them wisely—smoke them slowly—savor every-single-one-of-them.
“They say it takes ten days to break a habit.”
Here we go…
“Oh yeah?”
“Yes.” Her voice has lowered to an almost incoherent mumble.
I don’t have ten days to spare, at least not here anyways.
I smile. “So, tell me what I should do with them, Tenley?”
She giggles softly, sleepily, doesn’t say anything about the cigarette in my mouth, still.
“They say time changes people, Brooks.”
“So does money…”
She laughs. “I’ve had money all my life and I’m still the same.”
The corners of my mouth curve up into a smile. I won’t speak on that. Best I stay quiet.
Such a lucid conversation for a woman who likely won’t remember it tomorrow…
“We don’t have any money.” Her forehead furls. “We don’t have anything.”
A breath slips from me when I worry she’s about to start sobbing again.
“We only have time, Brooks.” She slurs out more words and then her head drops.
She’s asleep.
Getting back to my cigarette, I inhale the smoke, let it live around my lungs for a while then breathe it out, puffing it up to the sky not caring about how disgusting Tenley thinks it is. I smile even though I’m afraid. So terribly afraid.
I don’t want to waste endless hours thinking of what could’ve been. You know, the typical questions people ask themselves when things in life go so spectacularly wrong. How could this happen? Why me? Whatever did I ever do to deserve this? You know all that boring self-pitying bullshit that will get us nowhere.
