Everywhen: (Savage Princess book 1)

by liberty freer

  “Why hold the stupid interview thing when you could have announced on social media for every girl to check the back of her fucking neck for a tattoo?” I hiss.

  “Because millions of girls would be tattooing the back of their neck, claiming to be Anna. And it’s frowned upon to tattoo your child,” Aiden says.

  “What’s going on?” Tilly asks. “What tattoo?”

  “I need to change before going with you,” I tell Aiden and then grab Tilly by the wrist. “This is so ridiculous,” I mumble as I storm down the sidewalk with my sister.

  “I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me, and it’s not ridiculous, Hayley. Your birth parents were never found. It was like they vanished, which isn’t possible. Now we know their names and your birth certificate are fake.” Tilly snickers. “You’re only eighteen.”

  I glare at her so hard. “I’m almost twenty.”

  “Anna and Aiden had their eighteenth birthday back in March.”

  “My ID says otherwise.” I grit my teeth like I can make all of this go away if I want it hard enough. “I’m nineteen.”

  “Hello, girls!” Ms. Barbra calls from her front lawn.

  Tilly waves but I pretend not to notice the old bat as we hurry past her house before she invites us up for cookies like she did the other day. She’s a shit cook.

  “I remember my parents, Tilly. They were real.”

  “You remember some people you were told were your parents. That doesn’t mean they were your parents. Do you think they were the people who took you?”

  “I don’t know. It’s not like I’d be able to give a description of them. The memory is hazy.”

  “The whole investigation CPS did was shady as hell. Why didn’t they try harder to find them?”

  I roll my eyes. “You know how they are. They don’t put effort into the kids.”

  “My social worker was nice from what I remember. Why don’t you want to be Anna? What are you scared of?”

  I chew the inside of my cheek. Why don’t I want to be Anna? Isn’t it every orphaned girl’s dream to find her family? I was always told my parents were shit bags. I didn’t want to find them. Finding a sibling or distant relative would have been cool, but I don’t want this. Tilly doesn’t understand.

  “Hayley?”

  I snap out of my thoughts. “I like the way things are. The Westling family has money but are they happy? Do they look happy in pictures? And what about Dad, Til? He doesn’t need this right now.”

  She frowns. “We won’t tell him until he’s done with the program.”

  “What about you,” I say. “If I’m Anna, are they going to want me to live with them? I’m sure they will want me to spend a lot of time at their home.”

  Tilly looks down at her feet. “Oh, I didn’t think about that.” She brushes her bangs to the side. “But I’ll be fine here if you want to live with them.”

  She and I have never been apart for more than a day or two, and Tilly has separation anxiety. She’s only been able to spend the night at her friend Margo’s house who she has known for almost ten years. “I’m not going to live with them. I’m an adult, so they can’t force me. But see what I’m saying, it’s complicated.”

  “I want you to be happy. I thought finding your family would help.” She frowns, and I wrap my arms around her outside of Nana’s house.

  “I’m happy, Tilly. I don’t have the excess happiness you have, and Mom had, but I’m okay.”

  “I thought finding your real mom would help. I wish we were home.”

  I pull her up the lawn to the front porch. “What, you sick of sharing a room with me?”

  She laughs. “Kinda, but being home helps me remember Mom better. All her stuff is there. Her book is still on the table, opened to the page she was on. It smells like her there.”

  I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s not going to be like that for long. The rehab place wants Aunt Kathy to put Mom’s stuff into boxes in the closet. It’s not healthy for Dad or us to live like that. It’s almost been a year.”

  “I know, and I want Dad to get better. He loved her so much. He’s heartbroken.”

  “He’ll get better.”

  “Mom’s his soulmate. He said she was his forever. How do you get over that kind of loss?”

  Pulling open the front door, I sigh, wishing our parents would not have put that soulmate bullshit into my sister’s head. Her idea of falling in love with the perfect man is going to wreck her one day. That shit does not exist. And from my experience, guys suck. The ones our age anyway. They all want to party and fuck, no strings attached. Not that I necessarily want to be tied down. I know the guys I date now won’t be my forever. But a healthy monogamous relationship would be nice. Most of us are too fucked up to have that, though.

  Tilly and I head to our shared room where she drops down on her bed and hugs her knees.

  I throw my tangled hair into a messy bun. “I have to meet Aiden’s parents real quick. I won’t be long.”

  “Wow. You’re going to meet your parents. The famous Westlings are your parents. This is pretty insane.” Her voice rises an octave higher with each sentence.

  I frown. “I’m not believing anything until I get a confirmatory test.”

  Tilly sighs loudly as I walk out of the room. In my frustration, I slam the front door a little too hard on my way outside. I’ve always had a hard time controlling my emotions and all emotions lead to anger. With Mom gone, it’s been worse. I tried hard to be better for her. She always saw the best in me. She was blinded by love, but I love her for seeing me the way she did.

  I groan. Trent’s beat-up heap of metal is blowing exhaust fumes on the side of the street. He shuts it off when he sees me and hops out. He has the worst timing.

  “Hey, babe.” He lights a cigarette and leans against the trunk. “Feeling better today? You were a little crazy last night.”

  I’m a few feet away from him at the end of the driveway. “I meant what I said last night, Trent. It’s over. We’re both better off.”

  “Come on, babe.” He steps up to me, his face softening. “I know things have been shit, but we’ll get past that. Let’s go for a ride. We can go back to my place, and I’ll bend you over and fuck that pussy the way you like.”

  I shove him back and he laughs. “Just what every girl wants to hear, Trent.”

  “Oh, come on, Hayley. You ain’t the flowers and chocolate kinda chick, and I’m not that kind of guy.”

  I pop a brow. “Oh yeah? What kind of girl am I, Trent?”

  He winks. “The kind that likes to get on her knees. The type that likes to ride a man until he comes so hard he sees stars.”

  I laugh because he wants me to be that type of girl. The type that’s all about his pleasure. “Fuck off, Trent. You don’t know what kind of girl I am.”

  He flicks his cigarette to the side. “Jacob said you fucked some other dude last night. Is that what this is about? You been fucking someone else? ´Cause you sure as shit ain’t been fucking me. You’ve barely let me into your fucking jeans since we started this.” He steps closer, bringing his chest to mine and the smell of smoke and ash. “What the fuck’s been up?”

  Trent’s eyes widen, and his shoes scrape across the concrete as Nick drags him backward by the back of his shirt like he weighs nothing. To the right, Aiden and James are moving my way. Nick deposits Trent by his car and glares down at him.

  “What the fuck?” Trent brushes his shirt down and snaps his gaze to me. “This him? This the motherfucker you been fucking behind my back?”

  Aiden moves to my side and James hovers a few yards away like Trent is a threat or something.

  “You need to go, Trent,” I say, hoping he doesn’t recognize Aiden or Nick and blab they were here to everyone.

  “Fuck this. You ain’t shit.” Trent storms back to his car and peels out, leaving an angry black mark and a cloud of smoke.

  “Boyfriend?” Aiden asks and Nick glares.

  I cough
, clearing the air with my hand as I watch Nick walk back over to the SUV and climb into the passenger seat. “Ex.”

  “Is he going to be a problem?” Aiden asks, and I shake my head. He rubs the back of his neck. “Okay. You ready then?”

  “No, but I don’t have much choice.” James holds the back door open for me and I climb in. “I’m going to need you to run through a drive through. I’m starving.”

  Chapter 10

  Nick and James are in the front seat and Aiden and I are in the back as we zip down the freeway. I chew on the last fry, mad that I’ve eaten all the food and my greedy stomach’s still growling.

  “Dad said Liv’s excited to meet you,” Aiden says.

  “Who?” I ask, setting my Coke in the cup holder between us.

  He shakes his head. “Sorry, our sister. Liv is five.”

  I have a sister; her name is Tilly. I wonder if Aiden knows that? Did James tell him the things he read on whatever file he was able to pull up online? Does everyone in this vehicle know I was diagnosed with selective mutism at five, ADHD at seven, and ODD at eight? Did they read about the numerous fights I’ve been in? Do they know how bad my insomnia is or why I have it? Do they realize I’m nothing like them? If they did, I probably wouldn’t have been invited to meet the famous Westling family.

  Then again, they let Nick Cabot into their circle.

  I pull at my lip ring. “What happens after the hotel?”

  “I don’t know. Mom and Dad didn’t say.”

  I glance at a text from my sister. She sent me a bunch of smiley face emojis. She probably thinks this will be a happy reunion. John and Nora Westling are not just famous, they are world-renowned celebrities and to top that off, royalty. Nora Westling is a fucking princess.

  I glance at Aiden as he sits perfectly poised in the seat. Everything about him is perfect. His flawless, wavy brown hair resembles plastic, and his golden skin is smooth and unblemished. His clothes look new, expensive, and preppy. And then there’s me. My hair is greasy because I haven’t washed it in three days, my lip and nose are pierced, and I have no posture.

  I try matching Aiden’s stance and it’s uncomfortable as hell. I slouch back in my seat, rolling my eyes at how stupid this is. The famous family was searching for a perfect princess and dug up a deviant instead.

  “I’m going to need a second test, and I can’t stay long. I have a shift in a few hours.”

  “You want another test?” Aiden asks. “And what do you mean, a shift?”

  “Yes, another test. And a shift… work. I’m a hostess at a restaurant.”

  He nods, shifting uncomfortably. I bet he’ll never have to work. I want to be mad at him for that, but it’s not his fault. I’m jealous. Being an adult has shown me how hard it is to make it without money.

  “Everyone’s excited to see you,” Aiden says. “I’m not sure how much you pay attention to news articles about us, but Colt’s filming in California. He’s our younger brother. He knows we found you and is going to try to fly in tomorrow. I’m sure Mom and Dad have called our extended family. Everyone will want to meet you.”

  I don’t like hearing that. I’m picturing women gushing over me with smiling faces. There will be hugs and questions. I’m not good at pretending or lying to make others feel better. This is going to be awkward.

  “You’re living with your… Who did you say it was?” Aiden asks.

  “My grandmother. My mom died last year. My dad isn’t coping well with that. She was everything to him. He’s working on himself, so my sister and I came to stay with his mom. She was the only relative in our area. I didn’t want Tilly to be taken away from her friends.”

  Nick scoffs, the only sound he’s made so far, and I clamp my mouth shut. I have no idea why I vomited up all that information.

  “That must have been hard, losing your… losing her.”

  “It was hard. She was the absolute best.” I don’t miss that he didn’t call her my mom. “She and Tilly have huge personalities. They’re full of kindness, they’re sickeningly bubbly, and have more than enough positivity for a single person. I’ve never been able to match up to her, but she loved me regardless.” I shake my head realizing my mistake. “Had. My mom had a huge personality.” I twist my lips to the side. Shit. I did it again. I move my gaze out the window, hoping he won’t ask me any more questions. I’ve never had a word vomit problem before.

  Our eyes meet again and my stomach churns. There’s something familiar about Aiden, and I guess if I’m Anna, there would be. Anna spent the first three years of her life with him and of course the nine months they were smashed together in a womb. “Did your parents ever find out why Anna was taken?”

  “They assume money. Dad received a ransom call. He was cooperating with the kidnappers, but a couple weeks later he stopped hearing from them. There were no leads.” He frowns. “Do you remember us?”

  “I don’t remember much before I went to live with my parents,” I say, but not remembering much is a matter of perspective. I remember way more than I could ever want to.

  “I’m glad you had good parents. Sometimes at night, my mind would come up with worst-case scenarios, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I’ve worried so much.” He frowns. “Seeing you now almost doesn’t seem real.”

  I study his face. The dark circles under his eyes are more prominent in real life than they are in pictures although they were there too. Tabloids talked about drug use. I could see the lost look in Aiden’s eyes, the way he was never quite focused on anything. I’m just now understanding what that look was. I had that look after my mom died. I guess for Aiden, it was different. I knew my mom was gone, but Aiden didn’t know what happened to Anna. It would be hard to move on from that.

  “My parents gave me a good life,” I say, hoping it helps.

  He glances at James. “James dug into your past. He said you’d been in foster care prior to adoption?”

  I knew it. Aiden probably read whatever James found on me. “Yeah. A few different ones.”

  The SUV shuts off and my nerves kick-off which is a strange feeling for me. I’m rarely nervous, at least not to this extent. My palms begin to sweat, and my heart seems to be fluttering or some shit.

  Aiden opens his door and pauses. “You don’t need to be nervous.”

  “I’m not nervous,” I say more harshly than I meant to, and I don’t wait to see Aiden’s reaction. I hop out of the SUV and stare up at the Westin Hotel. I’ve seen this hotel out the window while driving by. The entire building is made of windows that shine like gold when the sun hangs low in the sky.

  I follow behind Aiden, James, and Nick as we walk up the concrete steps and then through the glass doors. The front desk and lobby are unreal. A glass fireplace separates the front desk area from the wide-open lobby. Everything is decorated in different shades of gold and brown. The furniture looks expensive and new.

  “Dad’s panicking because he wanted to book one of the conference rooms. He says my suite is too small. He’s excited to meet you. He wants it to go smoothly.”

  My stomach twists. What the hell is this feeling? I don’t like it. “Whatever works.” I shrug.

  On our way to the elevator, we pass well-dressed men and women as they zip about, most of them busy with their phones. Nobody seems to notice Aiden Westling or Nick Cabot. Maybe these people are used to seeing the rich and famous.

  We shuffle onto the elevator where a man and woman are having a heated conversation about something they forgot in their room. They snap their mouths shut as the doors close but the tension in the air is thick. It’s making whatever emotion I’m feeling escalate. I think I feel guilt. Is that it? Maybe I feel guilty I’m about to disappoint these people.

  Anna Westling is the daughter of a princess, for fuck’s sake. Shit, am I a princess? I’m lightheaded and nauseous. I probably smell like sweat and weed. I didn’t have time to shower. I feel grimy.

  “It’s not too late to put an end to this,” Nick whispers next to m
y ear.

  I narrow my eyes but don’t say anything. He’s wrong; it is too late to end this. Nick’s thinking conspires when he should have been trying to find a way to get me out of this. We both don’t want me to be here.

  Our elevator companions exit on the fifth floor, but we continue up, stepping out a few levels below the top floor. My feet slow as Nick stops at a door on the right side of the hall, but Aiden gestures me forward.

  “Let me know what the plan is,” Nick says as he slides the card into the card reader.

  “I will,” Aiden says, as Nick slips into the room.

  We pass a few more doors before stopping at a door on the left. My hand darts out to wrap around Aiden’s wrist before he can swipe his card only to quickly release him and mumble an apology. I clench and unclench my fist at my side.

  Aiden pauses with his hand on the handle. “Everyone’s excited to see you. You don’t need to be nervous.”

  “I didn’t expect this. I thought I was there because my sister wanted to interview.” I clear my throat. “I’m still having a hard time believing this.”

  “You have the mark and the DNA. You are my sister.” His smile is wide and perfect.

  I look into his eyes, mine swirling with emotions. His whole face is lit up, like today is the best day of his life, and maybe it is. How ironic it’s one of the worst days of mine.

  Chapter 11

  Aiden gestures for me to go first, but I shake my head. There is no way I’m walking into that room first. I’d prefer not to go at all. James lingers down the hall. I wonder if he’d stop me if I ran out of here right now?

  I don’t get time to think about it because the door clicks open. Sucking in a breath, I follow Aiden into a sitting room. A large window overlooking the city takes up the far wall, a blue sofa is to the left, and two blue chairs face each other with a table between them.

  There are only a few feet between the chairs and the couch where Mr. and Mrs. Westling sit. This is going to be an up-close and personal experience. I think I would have preferred the conference room Mr. Westling was trying to secure.