A Summer to Remember

by Victoria Cooke

  Suddenly, she glances to her left. ‘Barney, can I borrow a washcloth?’

  ‘Sure, honey,’ he says, taking her from Ethan. ‘I’ll take you up and you can borrow Harry’s good soap. The one from the fancy shop.’ He giggles as he helps her down from the stool.

  ‘Sometimes it’s like living with my mother,’ Ethan says, but his words are laced with warmth and pride.

  ‘She’s a little character, alright,’ I say.

  She returns with Barney a short while later, her face all pink and shiny. ‘Harry, when did you last wash your washcloth?’ She pulls a disgusted face. ‘A dirty washcloth! Grams would say, “Oh, the ironary.”’ She giggles and shrugs. ‘I don’t know what ironary is, but I think she means you should wash the cloth.’

  Ethan and I laugh as Harry shifts uncomfortably. ‘Anyway.’ Ethan clasps his hands together before Lexi runs any more rings around Harry or Barney. ‘Shall we get pizza, or do you guys want us out of your hair?’

  ‘Pizza sounds good. And anyway, Barney doesn’t have much hair,’ Lexi teases.

  ‘Okay, but I’m on a juice cleanse,’ says Barney, allowing Lexi’s comment to slide. ‘Just order me half-fat cheese.’

  We all look at him in bemusement, and he throws his arms up and sighs. ‘It’s tough, okay?’

  Whilst we wait for the pizzas, Lexi asks if she can paint my face.

  ‘I don’t see why not.’ I’m not wearing any make-up anyway so she can’t do too much damage. I sit on a stool, and she climbs up to sit on the breakfast bar.

  ‘What characters do you like?’ She cocks her head to the side and lightly sweeps the make-up brush across my eyelid.

  ‘I like Minnie Mouse,’ I say, realising I have no idea about what’s ‘cool’ anymore.

  ‘I like Princess Jasmine.’

  ‘I do too. I used to love Aladdin,’ I say as she moves on to my head. I catch a flash of blue on the paintbrush and suspect I’ll be using Harry’s ironically manky washcloth sometime soon.

  ‘Oh my, you’ll be working with us in a few years.’ Barney leans over for a nosey.

  ‘Thanks, but I think I’d make more money working for myself.’ She shrugs, and I can’t help but smirk. I like this girl.

  After a few more minutes she announces that she’s finished, causing Ethan, Harry and Barney to look my way. ‘Ta-da,’ I say to a chorus of oohs and ahs.

  ‘Fantastic work, Lexi,’ Harry says.

  ‘I know. Maybe I’ll train people when I’m older.’

  ‘That’s a great idea,’ Ethan says, kissing her on the head.

  ‘Daddy, I’ll do you next!’

  He laughs and sits on the stool opposite me.

  ‘I need to see this fine artwork,’ I say, standing up and walking over to the mirror on the wall by the dining table.

  ‘Wow. Blue is really my colour.’ I take in my entirely blue face. There is a smudge of black around my chin, which I’m guessing is my beard. ‘So, I’m the genie? I thought I was going to be Jasmine.’

  ‘I’m always Jasmine.’ Lexi smiles sweetly as she paints Ethan’s face green. The little monkey.

  ‘Well, it’s very good.’

  The doorbell rings and Harry goes to answer it.

  ‘You could get some tips off this girl,’ I say to Barney.

  ‘Oh, come on,’ he whispers. ‘You look like a bad Avatar cosplayer.’

  I laugh. ‘You can’t be jealous of a six-year-old.’

  ‘It’s not so much her artwork I’m jealous of, it’s her management skills. If she worked with us we could expand our empire.’

  ‘Pizzas are here.’ Harry dumps the grease-splodged boxes on the table.

  ‘Daddy is finished. Guess who he is,’ Lexi asks excitedly.

  Ethan turns to us and hunches his shoulders. ‘Well?’

  ‘Shrek,’ we all say in unison, and Lexi claps.

  Soon, we’re all sitting around the table eating sloppy pizza slices and sipping Coke. Harry and Barney share funny stories of their past, like when they got a supposedly male cat called Frank who gave birth to a litter of five kittens after disappearing for a few days of no-strings-attached fun. The kittens were homed, and Frank died a peaceful death a few years ago.

  By the time we’ve finished eating, Lexi has curled up in a ball on Ethan’s lap and fallen asleep. ‘It’s time we made a move,’ he says. ‘Sam, I’ll drop you back at the hotel.’

  I’m about to protest, but the bike ride and sea air have pushed me to a point where I could happily curl up and fall asleep. We thank the guys for the pizza since they’d insisted on paying and say our goodbyes.

  ‘She’s wonderful,’ I say.

  ‘She gets me through,’ Ethan replies as he jumps into the driving seat. I climb in and buckle my seatbelt.

  ‘I’d really like to thank you for today,’ I say as we drive the short distance to the hotel.

  ‘Really, there’s no need. I enjoyed helping.’

  ‘Let me take you out to dinner next week,’ I blurt before regretting it instantly. It was so natural to make the offer to Harry and Barney, but asking Ethan sounded so presumptuous, and the ring of it sounds uncomfortable in my ears. My stomach churns, and I wish to all the gods that Ethan didn’t hear me.

  ‘Sure, okay.’

  I swallow hard. ‘Well, okay. It’s a date!’ I want to punch myself in the mouth. ‘A dinner date, in the diary, I mean.’

  ‘A dinner-date-in-the-diary it is then!’ he echoes with amusement.

  I’ve already told Barney and Harry I’ll take them out on Saturday, so I agree to take Ethan out on Friday. At this rate, I’ll be skint by the end of this campaign.

  ‘Goodnight, Ethan,’ I say.

  ‘Goodnight, Sam.’

  When I’m through the door of the small reception I slump against the wall. Even though I’ve spent the whole day with him, and we’ve really bonded, dinner with Ethan seems like a massive step out of my little familiar puddle of comfort, into a wide reservoir of uncertainty.

  ‘It’s just a thank you,’ I whisper.

  Chapter 21

  ‘Kev?’ I sit bolt upright, sweat covers my body. It takes me a second before I recognise the small room of the apartment that I’ve come to call home. I blink and rub my eyes. A dream. But it felt so real. He was right there. I lift my hand to touch my face, where seconds ago, Kev’s hand rested. He was looking at me, smiling as he stroked my cheek. Then he started to float and I grabbed his hand, trying desperately to pull him back to me but I couldn’t make a fist tight enough. Then I woke up and he was gone. I put my face in my hands and heave out tears. This whole Ethan thing seems to be going down a dangerous path. It needs to end. I know I’m attracted to him because I can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t know if it’s because he’s wounded like I am, or because he understands me in a way nobody else does, or if it’s simply because he’s gorgeous, yet honest and down-to-earth. I don’t know if it’s because he strikes me as a wonderful father, or because he’s helped me despite me being no more than an annoyance to him most of the time, or if it’s the fact I can just be myself around him and talk to him in a way I haven’t talked to anyone since Kev. Whatever it is, it’s dangerous and I need to stop. I’ll stand by my offers of dinner next weekend because they’re owed but that’s it. No more Provincetown.

  ***

  Patrick taps his pen nervously on the table, and the sounds of fingers tapping, and papers shuffling can be heard around the room, but nobody speaks.

  Macy, the receptionist, pops her head around the door. ‘They’re here.’

  Patrick springs to life, testing the projector connection by jabbing keys on his laptop to wake it up. I walk to the front of the room, clutching my hands together to stop them trembling. ‘It will be great,’ Patrick whispers, but I’m not sure if it’s me or himself he’s trying to convince.

  Karma and Peace walk in. Their size dominates the double-doored entryway, so if any of us wanted to escape, we couldn’t, but believe me when I say the urge i
s strong.

  ‘Show us what you got,’ Karma says, slapping his hands together.

  Patrick takes a deep breath. ‘We’re just going to roll the footage for now, and we can talk through it afterwards, if that’s okay?’ Karma and Peace nod, and Patrick hits play.

  Seeing it on the big screen is impressive – I look like a professional. Dare I say, I even look good. Is that how Ethan saw me when he was filming? Tony and Dave have edited little dust motes and sparkles into the sunbeams that glow around me as I dance on the beach. The shot of the main street cuts in, and one of the rainbow flags billows in the wind. The cycling and kayak scenes have been edited to look like dusk, then the film cuts into the older footage with Kayla. It looks like a day-to-night film, which was unintentional but looks great.

  ‘Alright. Now we’re talking.’ Peace points at me. ‘You have really pulled something special off here. You got talent … damn girl!’ he says, looking at me. I giggle stupidly before composing myself.

  Inside I’m screaming with excitement. I’m definitely one step closer to the Grammys. ‘We’re so glad you like the ideas. If you’re happy we’ll get on with the shoot.’

  ‘We—’ Karma puts a hand on his chest ‘—at Rocks prefer to say, “We see all colour”.’

  ‘Oh.’ I tense, wondering if I’ve done something wrong.

  ‘Girl, I’m loving the rainbow flag. That’s what Rocks are all about, embracing everyone, from all walks of life, be they black, white, gay, trans …’ He bangs his hand on the desk enthusiastically and I’m sure there’s a small reading on a Seismograph somewhere in the Southern hemisphere. ‘Nice touch.’ He winks, and they leave.

  Patrick exhales. ‘Well, that went pretty well.’

  ‘Apparently so,’ I say, relieved. ‘I guess we’re back on track.’

  ‘Well done, Sam. You’ve pulled it out of the hat again. Alright, everyone, let’s get to work.’ As I smirk at his jumbled phrasing, he punches the air and shouts a loud ‘Yeah!’ A few people jump.

  Planning is put in place; more models and actors are recruited, and locations are sourced. We’ve decided to go with a more diverse group of models at the request of Karma, and we couldn’t be further from the original campaign. There is a buzz in the office that reignites my passion for the job – even the Pink Apple Instagram account is awash with pictures of our team out ‘bonding’ (or getting sloshed in fancy places as I call it when I’m filling Bridge, Viv and Sarah in on WhatsApp) in place of the usual business posts and meaningful quotes. I’m not ashamed to say I’m proud of everything I’ve done so far with this campaign. Once all the footage and stills are done, we can start working on the full campaign, social media, TV, magazine and so on. It’s going to be great. By Friday, I’m on a high as I head to Provincetown.

  ***

  Ethan suggested a little seafood restaurant on the seafront not far from the Macmillan Pier. It’s nothing fancy, he said, but has great views and great food. When I arrive, he’s already sitting at one of the outside tables with a beer. The sight of him takes my breath a little. His medium-length hair has been styled off his face, and he’s wearing a white shirt with a few buttons undone, showing off his caramel tan. I feel a little underdressed in my blue jeans and red camisole top and to be honest, seeing that he’s made an effort, throws me. Does he think this is a date? I give my head a little shake before walking over.

  ‘Hi, Ethan,’ I say, taking the seat opposite him.

  His features lift as he smiles. ‘Hi. How’s your week been? Please tell me our efforts last weekend paid off?’ He raises his hand to catch the eye of the waiter, who comes immediately over and takes my drink order.

  ‘Ethan, it was perfect. They loved the entire thing, so we’re back on track. I can’t thank you enough for helping to save my bottom.’

  He looks amused. ‘I enjoyed saving your bottom.’ The word ‘bottom’ sounds funny when he says it, and I giggle, which is a great distraction from the blushing I feel coming on. The waiter brings my glass of rosé. I take a sip, allowing the crisp, cool liquid to surge through my chest and ease the tightness. Sitting opposite Ethan is weird. Somehow, we’ve always sat side by side before, and looking into his deep blue eyes is hard. It’s like our eyes are magnets with opposite poles. But some kid has hold of them and is desperately trying to force them together anyway.

  ‘What do you think of Boston?’ he asks, filling the silence.

  ‘I love it. I know I’m always here at the weekend, but after work I see a lot of the city. It’s much more laidback than London. Still busy though, which is why I like to come and get away from it all.’

  ‘How much longer do you have here in the US?’

  ‘Just short of four weeks.’

  His Adam’s apple bobs beneath his skin. ‘It’s going to go fast.’ He sounds disappointed.

  ‘Yeah.’ I pull a sad face. I’d not really given much thought to going back to London, but now I’m thinking about leaving here to go back to my life there, it depresses me.

  ‘Barney was showing me the Pink Apple Instagram account. It looks like you guys have fun.’

  ‘I guess so.’ If you ignore the first few weeks.

  ‘It must be hard thinking about going to London and leaving that behind.’

  ‘Yes. It’s a very different environment.’ I’m not sure where he’s going with this.

  ‘That guy, the boss …’ He sips his beer. ‘He seems to like you. Do you get along?’

  ‘Er, yes, I guess. Though he hated me at first, remember?’

  Recognition registers on his face and he nods.

  ‘Have you got any more places you want to see, things you want to do?’ His tone picks up a little.

  ‘If I had the chance, I’d be here every weekend.’ I really would. I feel so at home here. ‘But since I only have the weekends free to explore, I might have to try new places. I’d love to see Salem and Rockport and Manchester-by-the-Sea.’

  He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Giving up on spending time together is going to be hard and I wonder if he’s feeling that too. Thankfully, he’s ‘off limits’ because that makes my decision to stay away easier and all the more sensible.

  I sip my wine. ‘So, other than Provincetown, what are your favourite places?’

  He sits back in his chair casually and the warm light of the setting sun illuminates his features. ‘There’s Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket too but I like being out at sea. I love the whale-watching trips.’

  I want to kick myself for not doing the whale-watching trip, I’d seen the sandwich boards advertising them but not got around to booking. It was on my hitlist. ‘I’d love to go to whale-watching.’

  ‘If you don’t mind an early start, I could take you tomorrow?’

  I want to say yes so badly because I really want to do the trip and I love Ethan’s company. ‘I can’t do tomorrow. I’m still doing my rounds of thanking people and it’s Barney and Harry’s turn tomorrow. Anyway, if you have any more days off work because of me your father will start invoicing me for cover.’

  The corner of his mouth lifts. ‘I’m a grown adult. I can arrange time off if I want to.’

  I smile. ‘Like I say, another time.’ Something feels different. This feels easy and agreeing to go whale-watching with Ethan feels natural. It’s the lie that I’m telling that feels wrong. My chest tightens, and my throat feels dry. I take a huge gulp of wine.

  ‘So, tell me about growing up in England. I don’t think our stereotypes do you guys any justice.’

  ‘Likewise,’ I say, thankful for the change of subject. ‘My school years were not my best, to be fair. Have you ever heard of the story, The Ugly Duckling?’

  Ethan narrows his eyes. ‘No, I don’t believe that.’

  ‘It’s true. I was a chubby kid, with terrible fashion sense, and I was good at maths. I really had very little going for me.’ I add a small, dry laugh.

  ‘I bet it was all in your head.’

  ‘I wish. I used to get c
alled all sorts of names, Big Bird, The Purple People Eater, Sloth … Kids are so cruel.’

  ‘Well, if I was at school with you, I’d have stood up for you.’ He reaches across the table and puts his hand on mine. Electric heat bounces between our skin, and the back of my neck tingles.

  ‘Thank you, but you’d have definitely been in the cooler kids’ gang.’

  ‘Oh, I was a nerd at school.’

  ‘No!’ My eyes goggle.

  ‘It’s true. See, I was interested in marine life back then too. I loved dolphins. Everything I owned had a dolphin on. The other kids used to call me Eaphin.’

  ‘They did not.’

  ‘They did, and what’s worse, I liked it.’

  I burst out laughing. ‘Ahh, that’s cute though.’

  ‘Cute is not what a teenage boy wants to be. Not in the British sense anyhow.’

  ‘So how far did this dolphin obsession stretch? I’m intrigued.’ I rest my face in my hands, and in the light-heartedness of the moment I find I can look directly into his eyes.

  ‘All my clothes. My schoolbag. My pencil cases and their contents, my ring binders …’ He looks up.

  ‘Well, that’s not too bad,’ I say. ‘My Take That obsession was worse.’

  He holds up a finger to let me know there’s more. ‘My underwear.’

  ‘Okay, I stopped short of Take That knickers.’

  ‘I told you I was a nerd, and that’s not even the whole of it. My mom used to sew dolphin badges on all of my clothes, and I thought I was so cool.’ Light bounces off his eyes as he laughs softly.

  ‘Ahh, that’s sweet. My parents used to buy me Happy Meals every time I was a bit down, and it just contributed to the problem.’ Thinking about my parents sends a wave of pain through my stomach.

  ‘Where are your parents now?’