Rafe’s focus swung rapidly from Eve to CeCe, his heart rending. Finally, he glanced at a woman standing nearby, and his eyes begged her for mercy. “Please, you have to help my girlfriend. She’s blind, and she doesn’t have her guide dog. I have to stay with my patient. Can you follow her?”
The woman blinked in surprise and nodded quickly, taking off after CeCe. The tiny bit of relief Rafe felt was swallowed up by the gaping maw of agony that had settled in his belly. Had he lost her forever?
Chapter 14
Rafe refreshed the screen on his tablet and breathed a sigh of relief. The KB test was clean. Eve’s baby should be fine. He headed back into Eve’s hospital room with a broad smile plastered on his face.
Zeph was leaning over her bedside, and he perked up when he saw Rafe enter, looking hopeful.
“Everything looks good, guys. I think we’re out of the woods. We might keep you here for a little while longer just to monitor, but I’m not worried.”
“Thank you, God,” Zeph said, rising up and lifting his face to the ceiling, his palms pressed together under his chin. “Thank you, Rafe, for taking such good care of her.”
Rafe smiled kindly and propped himself on the edge of the bed. “‘I’ve gotta look out for the world’s first 3/4 Divisa.”
Eve squeezed his hand. “Rafe, I know you need to go see your girlfriend. Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”
Rafe hung his head, worries about CeCe rushing back to him. How could he be such an idiot? CeCe was the perfect woman for him, and he’d ruined everything because he was too afraid to be honest with her. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to see me.”
“Rafe, you’re a good person, and any woman can see that. She’ll forgive you. Go on. Get out of here.” Eve shooed him away with her hands.
He raked his fingers through his hair. He didn’t believe that for a minute, but he knew he had to at least try. “I’ll be back later,” he promised.
It was almost midnight when Rafe rang the bell at CeCe’s house, and he seriously doubted she or her sister would let him in, but he knew he’d never sleep until he talked to her. He looked down while he waited, noticing his skewed tie and his half-tucked shirt, spotted and wrinkled. It was a good thing CeCe couldn’t see him.
Jessica answered the door dressed in her pajamas, an oversized tee shirt and soft cotton shorts. She scowled and raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t say anything.
“Please, Jessica, you have to let me talk to her.”
“She was in love with you, you know, and you broke her heart.”
Rafe’s own heart lifted a little but then immediately plummeted. “I never meant to,” was all he could say.
Jessica sighed but held the door open for him. “I know. Men are jerks. It just comes naturally to them.”
Rafe didn’t have the energy to defend himself; he was just glad she was letting him in.
“She’s in her bedroom,” Jessica answered before Rafe had a chance to ask. “First door on the right.”
“CeCe?” Rafe opened the door without waiting for her to invite him. It was dark, and she was curled up on the bed, still in her dress, but her makeup was smudged from tears, and her hair was escaping the pins, long tendrils hanging around her shoulders and sticking to her wet cheeks.
He kneeled by her bed, laying an arm gently around her shoulder. She cringed, and the movement drove knives into Rafe.
“Don’t touch me!” She rolled over, turning her back to him.
“CeCe, please, it’s just me. You know me. I’m the same person I was four hours ago.”
She whipped her head around to glare at him. “No you’re not. That person was trustworthy.”
Rafe covered his face with his hands and tried to scrub away the shame. “I never meant to lie to you, CeCe. I would never do that.” He reached out a hand but then pulled it back when she cowered from it. “I just didn’t mention I was a doctor when we met, and then, when I found out how you felt about them, I didn’t want to scare you off before I had a chance with you.”
CeCe sat up and swung herself around to face him. “You told me you were a professor. It was the first thing you said about yourself.”
“I am a professor… and a doctor. But I’m not your doctor, CeCe; I’m not like them. I don’t think you’re broken, and I’m not trying to fix you. I just want to be with you.” He reached out again, this time ignoring her flinch, and placed a gentle hand on her knee. His fingers smoothed over the silk of her dress.
“How can I ever trust you again, Rafe? I can’t be with someone I can’t trust. How do I know there aren’t other secrets you’re keeping from me?”
Rafe stared at her, the thick cloud of undisclosed truths hanging between them like a curtain of fog. How could he tell her he had nothing left to hide when he still harbored the biggest secret of all?
Warnings and arguments spun through his head with the voices of his family and community, but he ignored them, fighting against the onslaught as he pushed towards CeCe. She was the only thing that mattered in that moment. The words exploded from his lips as he burst through the melee.
“There are, CeCe. But I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”
Her eyes widened at his admission. Rafe stood up and paced the room, trying to decide how to shatter the illusion he’d spent his whole life protecting. There was no easy way to explain it. No matter how he said it, she was likely to think he was deluded, or crazy.
“You asked me once if I believed in angels…”
CeCe stared at him curiously. His internal conflict was etched into the lines of his face.
“But the more important question is, do you?”
She nodded slowly. “Sure, I guess.” She didn’t know where he was going with this, but she was anxious to hear what he was struggling to say.
“CeCe, have you ever heard of the Celestia Divisa?”
She tilted her head and shook it slowly.
“It means heavenly division. Celestia Divisa are half human… and half angel.”
CeCe scrunched her face in confusion. Why was he talking about supernatural beings? She knew he taught about angels at the university, but what did that have to do with anything? She sighed and ran her hands down her thighs, smoothing her dress. “Rafe, what’s the point? Where are you going with this?”
He dropped to his knees in front of her again and clasped her hands between his, taking a moment to savor the feel of her soft skin. It might be the last time she let him touch her. He stared into her blind eyes, begging her for understanding.
“I’m one of them, CeCe. I’m a Celestia Divisa. I’m half angel.”
CeCe pulled her hands from his and sat up straighter, sucking in a breath as she shook her head. “What are you talking about, Rafe? You’re not making any sense.”
“It sounds crazy, I know. But it’s not, CeCe. It’s the truth. You wanted me to be honest with you, to tell you everything, so I am. This is who I am, CeCe.”
CeCe pulled herself off the bed and walked to the corner of her bedroom, distancing herself from Rafe’s presence so she could think. “You expect me to believe this?” She asked but then turned away before he could say anything.
Sure, she believed in God, and by way of that, angels. But were there really half angels walking the earth, disguised as humans? It sounded like something she’d see on the SyFy channel, some pseudo-documentary about creatures like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster. Rafe had never come across as anything but rational and intelligent, but he’d fooled her once before.
Rafe approached from behind, and his presence overwhelmed her. His scent, his warmth, the soft purr of his voice, made CeCe want to believe everything he said, just to have him near her again. He laid his hands gingerly on the sides of her hips and buried his face in her hair.
“Talk to me, CeCe; tell me what you’re thinking. Don’t leave me in the dark.”
She resisted the urge to turn around and kiss him and instead pushed his away. “I can’t… I don’t… I need some
space, Rafe. Will you please leave?”
There was only a foot between them, but the distance felt insurmountable to Rafe, and he felt a chill as if he were all alone instead of standing right in front of her. He backed away slowly, drawing further into his isolation, giving her what she desired.
“Okay, I’ll give you some space, but please know this — I love you, CeCe. Please come back to me.” He didn’t wait to see the look on her face, only turned and walked away.
Chapter 15
CeCe spent the better part of the next week trying to maintain her anger at Rafe, but her love for him kept invading, subduing the anger till it was as weak as a newborn kitten. She played back their first dates in her mind, trying to convince herself that she would’ve given him a chance even if she’d known right off that he was a doctor. But the truth was, she wouldn’t have, and therefore she never would have experienced the pleasure of getting to know him. She still thought it was wrong of him to keep her in the dark for so long, but she understood why he did it.
She was devastated to learn that he shared his medical practice with his father and his sister. How could she ever fit in with a family full of doctors? Her skin tingled and her body shook just clicking through their website. She couldn’t pull herself away from it, though. Every page featured pictures of Rafe — listening to a child’s heartbeat, bandaging a wound, writing a prescription. She knew what the pictures were because she’d asked Jessica to describe them to her half a dozen times.
Jessie would roll her eyes and whine a little, but she would always oblige. She knew that being with Rafe had made CeCe incredibly happy, and she wanted that for her sister, even if Rafe’s actions had only confirmed her opinion that most men were slime. Jessie didn’t say much, instead allowing CeCe the mental space to sort things out for herself, but CeCe could sense that she thought she should give Rafe another chance.
To distract herself from her dwindling anger, CeCe began researching the Celestia Divisa. She’d never heard of them before, and resources that mentioned them were few and far between, but she did come across a few obscure references to them that had been found in ancient texts. She consumed every tidbit of knowledge greedily, hungry to understand who Rafe claimed to be. Could he really be a supernatural creature disguised as a normal human?
The passages she’d read claimed that Celestia had special powers, but she couldn’t quite figure out what they were. Each reference suggested something different. She wanted to just ask him outright for more information, but she couldn’t bring herself to contact him.
Instead, she researched him, too, reading every single word she could find online about Rafael DiAngelo, the doctor and the professor. He’d written several papers about angels and religion, and she read as many of them as she could, trying to understand. Finally, she couldn’t resist her curiosity any longer, and she decided she had to see him again, if only to satisfy all the questions that were bouncing around in her mind.
She wanted to call him, but every time she picked up her phone, her heart seized and her fingers rattled till she lost her nerve. What would happen if she talked to him? Was she ready to believe him? Would his presence tranquilize her into accepting a relationship she wasn’t sure she could handle? She wasn’t even sure what she really wanted from him. She knew it was more than just answers, but was she really willing to forgive him and start again?
These thoughts occupied every inch of her brain, every minute of the day, until she thought she’d go crazy if she didn’t do something. Frustrated, but not sure what to do, CeCe decided to take a walk and enjoy the warm summer evening, hoping maybe it would clear her head. She leashed Dexter and headed out, no real destination in mind.
When CeCe found herself in front of the university, she realized her subconscious had been seeking Rafe out, even if her heart wasn’t ready yet. She remembered a conversation she’d had with him late one evening after his class, and she wondered if he was teaching this evening. She’d been curious before about the classes he taught. Could she peek into one?
On a whim, CeCe asked a passing student to direct her towards an office where she could find out more information about his schedule. Fifteen minutes later, she was standing in front of his classroom, rocking back and forth from foot to foot, trying to work up the nerve to enter. She didn’t have any experience with college classes, so she didn’t know how much of a disturbance it would be if she walked in. Was it a large lecture hall and she could enter unobtrusively, or would her entrance make a scene? She wished she had thought this through a little better and gotten some more information from the lady in the administration office. She didn’t even know why she was here. What was she going to say to him when he saw her? All she knew was, she was desperate to see him again.
“Do you need some help?” a kind voice offered, and CeCe sighed, unsure.
“I wanted to sit in on the class, but I wasn’t sure if it was okay.” She rung her hands.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure Doc Rafe won’t mind — he’s cool. I’m late, so I’m gonna have to sneak in anyway, why don’t you come in with me? I’ll help you find a seat.”
CeCe nodded and reached out for him. The boy shuffled into the classroom and led her to a chair near the door. She could hear Rafe talking, and his voice faltered as he noticed her entrance.
“…So, so… uh, we uh, covered the first tenet of Christianity — man’s sinful nature,” Rafe gulped, his eyes zeroing in on CeCe, “that, of course, leads to the second tenet… the most important one — God’s mercy. What do we know about that?”
“It’s unmerited,” a student called out. “We didn’t do anything to earn it.”
“That’s right. ‘While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.’ And?”
“It’s all-inclusive — God offers it to everyone, and it covers every sin,” another student replied.
Rafe nodded. “No sin is worse than another in God’s eyes, and no sinner is either. Anything else?”
“Those he forgives are called to forgive others.”
“Yes, ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,’ — a key part of the Lord’s prayer. How can we accept forgiveness for ourselves and not be willing to offer it to others?”
Rafe’s voice was soft, but the words pierced through CeCe like a lance. His lies had hurt her, offended her, but the intention behind them was to avoid causing her pain. It was still wrong, but was it unforgivable? CeCe knew Rafe loved her, he’d said the words even after she rejected him. Deep down, she knew she loved him, too. Was she willing to give that up just to hold on to her anger? All she was doing was depriving herself.
Rafe stared at CeCe as he spoke of mercy and forgiveness, silently begging her to offer them to him. A small tear dripped down her cheek as the words sunk in, and Rafe longed to rush to her side and wipe it away with his kisses.
“Let’s talk about this more next time,” Rafe said, shutting his notebook. He couldn’t wait another minute to go to her. “Class dismissed.”
An excited murmur rose from the students at the early dismissal, and they scrambled to gather their things. In less than a minute the seats were empty. As soon as the last student left, Rafe rushed to CeCe, standing in the back of the classroom.
“CeCe,” he whispered, reaching out to embrace her, his hands wrapping around her waist and sliding up her back. He buried his nose behind her ear then trailed it along her cheek till his lips neared hers. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” Her words were like an invitation that Rafe eagerly accepted, claiming her with his lips and hands. She wrapped her hands around his arms, enjoying the feeling of strength surrounding her.
They kissed for several minutes, needy hands stroking and caressing as their mouths sought to merge the two into one. Rafe eventually forced himself to pull away, his need for her overwhelming. “Oh God, CeCe, if we do that much longer I’m not going to be able to stop, and I don’t ever want to hurt you again.”
“I forgive you
, Rafe. I know you never meant to. Can we go somewhere and talk? I have a lot of questions.”
“I’ll answer them all, CeCe. Whatever you want to know.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed it then placed it back in the crook of his arm, where it belonged.
“Can I take you to my place? It’s somewhere private where we can talk.”
CeCe nodded eagerly. “I’d love to see your place.”
His apartment was on the third floor, but he led her carefully up each flight of stairs, reveling in the chance to touch her again.
He lived like a bachelor, so he was incredibly grateful that CeCe couldn’t see the way his apartment looked. It wasn’t horribly messy, but his shoes were scattered by the front door, dirty dishes were piled up in the kitchen, and his bed hadn’t been made since the last time he changed his sheets, which was too long ago to remember. Rafe tried to see his place through a woman’s eyes, and he knew it would definitely not pass inspection. The walls were bare, the windows covered only with simple blinds, and there was only one lonely, lumpy throw pillow on the couch. He took a deep breath as he walked in, checking for malicious odors. He didn’t smell anything too offensive, but it certainly didn’t smell sweet and fresh like CeCe’s apartment.
He led her over to the sofa and she settled down, looking out of place in the bare room, like an exotic flower in a patch of weeds.
“Can I get you something to eat or drink, CeCe?” His mind searched through his fridge and cupboards trying to figure out what he could offer her. There wasn’t much; he ate most of his meals in the hospital cafeteria.
“Just some water maybe,” she said, and Rafe was grateful. He’d definitely need to do something about his accommodations if CeCe was going to become a regular visitor. A spring of pleasure welled up, filling the empty space in his chest at the thought of that, and he smiled. He’d happily do whatever she’d like if it meant more time with her.
Rafe filled a couple glasses with water and held one out to her as he joined her on the sofa. She took a small sip then cupped it delicately in the palm of her hand. She had so many questions, she didn’t even know where to start with them.
Date with Destiny Collection: Angel Romance Series: Books 1 - 4 Page 56
