One Christmas Star

by Mandy Baggot

  ‘No… well, yes… after he had mended the shelves that he knocked down… after I…’ She stopped talking, considering for a second whether she really wanted to end the sentence and be responsible for the potential wetting of Allan’s underwear… She cleared her throat. ‘Hid him in the stationery cupboard.’

  Allan yelped and leaped up, almost knocking into the patio heater. He grabbed his crotch and squealed. ‘Oh my God! Jonah, make her stop!’

  Emily watched Jonah take one of the cranberry and feta pin wheels and eat it very slowly and deliberately. He wasn’t musing whether the shop-bought snacks were inferior to his own creations. He was thinking. Deeply.

  ‘This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me since… I don’t know… since…’ Allan exclaimed, hopping from one foot to the other like he was dancing on hot coals.

  ‘Since Jonah moved in?’ Emily suggested in a bid to divert attention to her concerned-looking friend.

  ‘Oh, natch!’ Allan answered quickly. ‘Natch to that.’ He sat down close to Jonah and draped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. ‘That was the best day of my life up to now.’

  ‘Emily, I don’t mean to douse this man situation with cold water but you have read the news lately, right?’ Jonah asked.

  Emily dipped her lips into her drink again before making response. ‘I stopped reading the news ever since that article about shops selling wonky cucumbers. There isn’t anything of interest for me lately.’ She’d actually stopped reading the news after one particular article a year ago. The article that had made her heart break a second time.

  ‘Well, I know what the press can be like but… I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t mention that Ray Stone is all over it at the moment… and not in a great light.’

  ‘Oh, Jonah, shame on you!’ Allan announced. ‘Have you been reading the tabloids again? Honestly, the trash these sous chefs read when they’re not chopping up quince.’

  ‘What does it say?’ Emily asked. She didn’t really want to know. But she had the feeling that Jonah really needed to tell her. He had been so excited about introducing her flatmates/dating opportunities last night it seemed very off for him to be this cautious now. She needed to know why.

  ‘Well,’ Jonah said, ‘it kind of suggests, in a roundabout way… that he was less than a gentleman to his ex-girlfriend.’

  Allan coughed, returning to his seat. ‘Well, what does that mean? Because I’ve enjoyed quite a lot of less-than-gentlemanly pleasure in my time.’

  ‘It means… I think,’ Jonah continued cautiously. ‘Well, the articles say that his ex-girlfriend says he has a temper. There’s talk of raging rows and smashed glasses and neighbours complaining about the noise and… Em, I wouldn’t want you to get involved with someone like that.’

  ‘If any of it’s true,’ Allan added.

  Emily adjusted her position on her cushion. ‘I’m not involved with him. He’s trying to stop me freezing to death or sweating into a pool of perspiration before Christmas arrives. I wouldn’t have had to ask anyone if the landlord had answered my millions of calls!’ She took a breath. ‘Ray is doing me a good deed. And he’s been nothing but pleasant and interesting to talk to and… he was so gentle with Olivia Colman.’

  ‘Jesus!’ Allan wept. ‘You met Olivia Colman too? She’s a fucking queen… literally.’

  ‘Em, I worry about you,’ Jonah said. ‘That’s all. I worry. And I worry because I’m not here anymore and I know you’re still struggling and… I just care.’ Jonah wrapped his hand around his glass of wine and took a sip.

  ‘She knows that,’ Allan told him. ‘And I care too. You know that too, don’t you? And if you didn’t know before, you know now.’

  ‘I know,’ Emily answered. ‘Of course, I know. And I appreciate the concern, really I do.’

  ‘But you’re not one of your ten-year-olds, right?’ Jonah said, shaking his head. ‘And I’m acting like an annoying younger brother right now, aren’t I?’

  Emily smiled. ‘No. You’re acting like an annoying best friend who I love very much. But, I’ve got this. I’m a good judge of character and I make those decisions based on how I find people, not what other people say. I mean, otherwise, you and I would never have been friends.’ She laughed then leaned forward and ruffled up Jonah’s carefully crafted hair. He batted her away.

  ‘Oi!’ Jonah said, hurrying to flatten it back down.

  ‘So, just mending your heating then and saving the local wildlife. That’s all there is to it,’ Allan asked, popping a spring roll in his mouth.

  ‘Yes,’ Emily replied. ‘That’s all there is to it.’ She swallowed, remembering how it felt to be held in someone’s arms again, even if it was only to save her from dropping to the floor. Ray’s solid frame, bearing her weight so effortlessly, his gorgeous ombre eyes…

  ‘Shame,’ Allan breathed.

  Nineteen

  The interior thermostat wasn’t working properly. Ray had thought that was going to be the case from Emily’s description of the issues she was having. The good news was he had diagnosed the problem. The bad news was he couldn’t immediately fix it. It would need a new part and there was no chance of getting one just like that. It wasn’t something that could be sourced from the corner shop.

  He wiped his hands on a tea-towel Emily had given him for that exact purpose and looked around the tiny kitchen space. He could possibly have fit fifty of this size room in the kitchen of Gio’s rental property. But all that rental property had had was space. It didn’t have kitsch egg timers or a set of Russian nesting dolls or three whisks in rainbow colours… Who needed three whisks? But again, it was as homely as it got, despite its small proportions. Or maybe because of them.

  Ray took a sideways step, avoiding the table and looked through the partial glass door. He could see Emily and her two friends out on the roof terrace. Apart from the generous lounge area the terrace was probably the next biggest part of this apartment. The bathroom definitely wasn’t spacious. He’d almost got up close and personal with the shower curtain while using the toilet. But it did have a bath, he’d noticed.

  Under patio heaters, surrounded by the glow of fairy lights, the friends were talking, sharing snacks and glasses of wine. He swallowed. Wine. Wine would be great right now. His mother’s favourite had been a Merlot called Turner Road. He still remembered the orange and white bird on the bottle…

  His phone buzzed in the pocket of his coat, which he had hung over one of the little chairs. He reached in, drawing it out and looking at the message. It was from Deborah.

  Two things. One, I’ve lined you up with a spot on City FM tomorrow morning. You need to be there at 6 a.m. Not a second later. They have solemnly promised this will be about your work on your new album and they want you to sing ‘Let It Be Me’. They will have a keyboard. Two, I haven’t been able to find you a house yet. I’ll try again in the morning. Stay in a hotel tonight but make it low-key. And keep your chin up. I’ve got this. D

  Ray’s eyes blurred a little as he studied the words. He had to sing tomorrow. On live radio. Early in the morning when his vocal cords would be cold, no matter how many voice exercises he performed. He had no new house to go to tonight. He should have told Deborah exactly how dire his financial situation currently was. Even a low-key hotel might be an issue. And he should definitely have told her about Dr Crichton. He ought to leave here now, try his luck at the nearest Travelodge. There was no way he was going back to his dad and New North Road. He picked his coat off the chair and put it on before heading to the door.

  *

  ‘Can you get us tickets for the Christmas show?’ Allan asked, crying with laughter. ‘I have to see it. It’s going to be truly spectacular in all the wrong ways.’

  ‘That’s very rude,’ Emily responded. ‘The children are extremely creative. They’ve come up with lots of ideas already.’

  ‘And you’re the one who’s going to have to implement them,’ Allan reminded. ‘You sing “Jing
le Bells” out of tune!’

  ‘I do not!’ Emily insisted, cheeks reddening despite the cold. She took a sip of her drink and noticed Ray coming out from the house. ‘Oh!’ she exclaimed, standing up. ‘Is it unfixable? Is it going to cost me thousands of pounds?’

  ‘Come and sit down next to me, Ray Stone,’ Allan ordered, patting a red cushion to his left.

  ‘It’s the thermostat inside the tank,’ Ray informed. ‘It needs a replacement.’

  ‘I knew it,’ Emily said with a heavy sigh. More money to be shelled out. Yes, she could claim it back from the landlord but the last time he hadn’t been quick in reimbursing and she had had to withhold rent money to compensate herself. ‘Is it going to be terribly expensive?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Ray said.

  ‘And what is a successful pop star’s idea of expensive, we ask,’ Allan remarked, smiling at Ray.

  ‘Allan, you’re an embarrassment,’ Jonah remarked with a tut.

  ‘I would think it’s under fifty quid,’ Ray told her.

  ‘Really?!’ Emily said. She could cope with that. Things were suddenly looking up.

  ‘Would you like some wine?’ Allan offered, standing up and picking up a bottle and a glass.

  ‘I should probably get going,’ Ray admitted.

  A mobile phone began to ring and Jonah got to his feet in a panic. ‘It’s the hotel,’ he stated, looking at the screen. ‘I’m on holiday. Everyone knows I’m on holiday. This is bad news.’

  ‘Well, answer it then!’ Allan urged. ‘Away from us, so we don’t have to listen to talk about chopping techniques.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Honestly, the lengths these chefs go to to make food like a piece of art. If I want something that looks like a Salvador Dali I’ll go to a gallery not a restaurant.’

  ‘Hello,’ Jonah spoke into his phone before moving across the terrace.

  ‘Would you like a glass of wine?’ Emily asked Ray who was still hovering and looking a little uncomfortable. ‘Or there’s Morello cherry lemonade.’

  ‘Your pretend rosé Prosecco,’ Allan teased.

  ‘I’ll—’ Ray started before he was interrupted.

  ‘Shit, Allan, we have to go. The restaurant’s in meltdown. Two of the hobs have broken down and Hillary’s in tears. The manager has begged me to come in and he sounds like he’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown himself.’

  ‘Oh, Jonah, that place! You don’t own it, you know!’

  ‘I know but this job is going to lead to even bigger things. Like you with your promotion,’ Jonah reminded.

  ‘Is that your job news?’ Emily asked Allan excitedly.

  ‘Put your coat on, Allan, I’ll order an Uber,’ Jonah said.

  ‘Yes, that’s my news. Promoted to manager. Underlings to be mean to now… I mean, colleagues to train and inspire.’ He grinned as he put his jacket over his shoulders.

  ‘Congratulations,’ Emily said. ‘I’m so pleased for you.’

  ‘Not that I get a minute to announce it or celebrate it,’ Allan said, frowning at Jonah.

  ‘I’ll make it up to you,’ Jonah said.

  ‘Ooo, is that a promise?’

  ‘Yes, just, please, hurry up before my kitchen’s never the same again.’

  ‘It was lovely to meet you, Ray,’ Allan said. ‘Please do not leave on our account. There are snacks to finish and plenty of wine Madam here won’t touch.’

  ‘Allan!’ Jonah hissed. He waved a hand at Emily. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?’ He looked to Ray. ‘Bye.’

  ‘One more sausage roll,’ Allan said, snatching one from the platter and stuffing it into his mouth with aplomb. ‘Night all.’

  And whipping up like a frenzied, winter whirlwind, the two men left the roof terrace.

  ‘One glass of wine?’ Emily offered Ray. ‘To thank you for diagnosing my boiler’s ailment?’ She gasped. ‘Where do I even buy this thermostat thing from?’

  ‘I can have a look online,’ Ray suggested. He took his phone out of his pocket like he was going to begin a search and moved to sit down opposite her. She poured him some wine into a glass. He hadn’t accepted but the open wine had to be used up, didn’t it?

  ‘Sorry, you must think I’m the neediest person you’ve ever met. I can Google it later… if you tell me what it’s called… and spell it out.’

  ‘No problem,’ Ray said.

  She held the glass out to him and he accepted it, immediately taking a drink.

  ‘It’s a nice place you’ve got here,’ he remarked.

  He was gazing out over the rooftops of Canonbury now. It was the view from the roof that Emily liked the best, because you could see a little bit of everything. Office buildings mixed with old-fashioned terracotta chimney pots. There were roof gardens, some with actual grass and even wooden hives for urban bee-keeping… London was far more than just a grey steel city, there were portions of diversity at every turn. In some ways she hoped the predicted snow was going to happen. A light dusting of white would give it all a magical Christmas topping. She might even start to get enthused about the season…

  ‘I do love it,’ she said. She did. Despite her future not being what she thought it was going to be on this street, she still loved her home.

  ‘How long have you lived here?’

  ‘Three years now.’ A whole twelve months on her own without Simon. She regrouped. ‘I don’t own it. I mean to own it would be the most amazing thing in the world. But, even with a headteacher’s salary it would be completely out of my reach.’

  ‘Well, you never know,’ Ray replied, drinking more wine. ‘There’s always the National Lottery.’

  ‘I don’t play that,’ Emily admitted. ‘I used to, but now I put the money I would have spent on tickets in a big vase in the lounge.’ She smiled. ‘I’ve been doing that since we moved in and I’ve never counted it. Jonah used to say it was probably the most valuable thing we had in the flat, but no burglar would be able to shift it.’ She took a sip of her drink. ‘Whereabouts do you live?’

  Ray sighed, eyes looking into his glass. ‘There’s a question.’

  Emily didn’t know how to respond. He suddenly looked a little sad and she wondered if she’d asked too much. He was this well-known figure whose life got constantly shared with the world whether he liked it or not. She really shouldn’t have been so nosy.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she apologised. ‘I’m being like Two L’s… sorry, Allan, that’s his nickname. Sometimes he loves it, other times he says it makes him sound like a rapper.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Sorry, it’s none of my business where you live.’

  ‘It’s not that,’ Ray admitted. He gulped down the rest of the wine and replaced the glass on the table. ‘I… don’t really live anywhere right now.’

  ‘Oh,’ Emily said, a little bit shocked.

  ‘Yeah. I know. Tragic, right?’ He sniffed. ‘This supposed star everyone wants to snap a picture of on the Tube and he doesn’t have a roof over his head.’

  Emily gasped. ‘Was that why you were in the school shed with Olivia Colman?’

  He laughed then and shook his head. ‘I don’t think so but, you know, I don’t know. I was drunk, maybe the shed with a hedgehog was preferable to a park bench with the press pack getting it all on their SD cards.’ He picked up the bottle of wine and went to put some in her near empty glass. She hurried to put her hand across it.

  ‘No… no, thank you.’

  ‘You’re going to make me drink alone?’ he queried. ‘You know that’s equally as tragic as sleeping in a shed?’

  ‘I… don’t drink,’ Emily informed matter-of-factly.

  ‘Ah,’ Ray said. ‘I forgot it’s a school night.’

  Emily shook her head. ‘No… I don’t drink…’ She took a breath. ‘At all.’ She shrugged quickly, as if it was nothing. It wasn’t nothing. ‘I’ve been totally tee-total for a year now and… not missing it at all.’ She swallowed. ‘OK, I might miss it a little bit, but these new flavoured lemonades and J20 Spritzs are pretty good
.’

  ‘Why?’ Ray asked simply. ‘If you don’t mind me asking.’

  She took a deep breath of the night air and looked into his gorgeous eyes again. She should tell him why. Basic gut feelings told her he was being honest with her about his housing situation, no matter how unlikely that might seem to the world at large.

  She smiled. ‘Health reasons.’ She carried on quickly. ‘Jonah talked a lot about liver when he had a spate of making his own pâté. It made me think about the damage I was probably doing to my human one with all that wine and gin and… well, you know.’

  ‘They say it’s sensible to have a couple of units a night,’ Ray stated. ‘Everything in moderation.’

  ‘Well,’ Emily said. ‘I suppose we’re all going to die some day no matter what the cause.’ Why was she talking about death? And why hadn’t she just told him the real reason she didn’t drink? It wasn’t like she was ashamed of it. She had the greatest of reasons for it and she was actually pretty proud of it. It wasn’t too late to admit it if she spoke now…

  ‘Yep,’ Ray agreed, nodding. ‘That’s true. One minute you could be going for a really simple procedure at the hospital and the next gone for ever.’

  Emily looked at him again then. He was staring into the mid-distance. At the rooftops again? Or somewhere else entirely? Somewhere not even on this planet? Who was the real Ray Stone? The celebrity being depicted as a raging monster by the tabloids according to Jonah? Or someone else? Someone definitely troubled, but human nonetheless. Real.

  ‘Where are you staying tonight?’ Emily’s lips blurted out. Should she have asked that?

  ‘Listen, with all these great snacks and wine and—’ he looked towards her bottle of red lemonade ‘—not wine… let’s not make it into a pity party.’ She watched him pick up two sausage rolls and pop them into his mouth.

  Was she going to do this? After what Jonah had told her and after saying that she didn’t want anyone in her spare room. But, on the other hand, he had fixed the school shelves and he’d found out what was wrong with her central heating. She should give him something…