To Awaken a Monster

by Sam Crescent

  “Yes. I’d never been pregnant before, and obviously Bear, he wasn’t too happy about it. I wasn’t either.”

  This wasn’t news to her. Her parents couldn’t stand to be around each other most of the time. It wasn’t a revelation that her parents wanted nothing to do with having a baby together.

  “Bear was great though. Don’t get me wrong, we had a few bad moments. There was a lot of shouting, but we got through it. When I saw you on the screen, it did make it more real.”

  “Yeah, this is more real.”

  Rebecca sighed. “I’m not going to be the perfect mother. There are times, I’m not going to lie to you, Robin, I don’t like you. It’s no fault of yours, and I’m going to try.”

  “Why? Why try now?”

  “Because … the one thing I always wanted when I was pregnant I couldn’t have.”

  “Which was?”

  “My mom,” she said. “I had made sure that door was closed off to me long ago. We’re never going to be close, and I’m not going to pretend we don’t have our differences now, but I will be here for you. You’re going to need a mom during this time.”

  “You don’t have to,” Robin said.

  Tears filled her eyes, and she cringed as they fell down her cheeks.

  “I don’t know what is happening to me. One moment I’m fine, the next I’m crying all over the place.”

  “It’s the hormones. Welcome to motherhood. Now, do you want to tell me what is going on with you and Bishop? I hear talk, you know.”

  “Mom, you know what is going on.”

  “Since you’ve been married, nothing has been … happening?”

  “No.”

  “Why not? You do know the only way to keep Bishop is to put out for him. You did have the V-card for him, but that’s not going to happen now.”

  She stared at her mother and was under no illusions this new act was exactly that, an act. She couldn’t figure out what it was or why.

  Her mother didn’t do anything for anyone unless it benefitted her. Why was she asking about Bishop?

  Up until now her mother was very much determined to keep her and Bishop together, offering the same advice that no man wanted a woman who wasn’t willing to put out.

  “I’m hungry, Mom,” she said.

  Before Rebecca could say anything more, Preacher and Bear walked in.

  She watched as her mother looked Preacher up and down, seeing the appreciation in her gaze.

  She wondered if that was it.

  With her daughter being pregnant with Preacher’s baby, it gave her an opportunity to move higher up the ranks.

  If that was really what her mother thought, Robin wasn’t going to tell her otherwise. It would be up to her mother to experience that heartbreak, not her. She had way too much to deal with. For a start, she really had to stop fighting with Bishop—only, he wanted something from her she wasn’t ready to give.

  “You okay?” Preacher asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  ****

  Of all the people to get pregnant by, Rebecca couldn’t believe her daughter had fucked Preacher. That man was always so picky about the women he took to bed, and Robin didn’t even have to do anything.

  She couldn’t fucking believe it.

  She stared at Preacher, who sat beside Robin.

  The two looked so fucking odd together. Her daughter with her long brown hair and plain features. She wasn’t a catch, not by any means.

  She wondered if Preacher would be so attentive if she hadn’t been a virgin.

  Sipping at her wine, Rebecca hated how she’d been stuck with the second in command while Robin got the king.

  Stabbing her fork into her lasagna, she tried to remain calm. She should be happy. At least the brat was finally out of her house and she’d noticed Bear had been spending more time with her.

  One day, she would get what she deserved, and there was no way she was going to let her daughter have everything.

  Virgins and innocents didn’t survive in their world. They were cannon fodder.

  Preacher would grow bored, and then Bear’s little girl would be nothing more than used goods.

  ****

  Preacher was pissed.

  He got to the clubhouse to find his son wrapped around not one but two of the club sluts. Preacher couldn’t even remember their names.

  Preacher dragged his son out of bed by his ankles, and Bishop came awake with an almighty thud as he hit the floor.

  Preacher really didn’t give a shit. Using his neck, he pulled him to his feet.

  “What the fuck?” Bishop said.

  Squeezing on his neck, Preacher smiled. Blood or not, he would take the little shit out. There was no room for weakness, and he didn’t hold any affection for his son. Sure, he’d raised him, but they’d never really connected. There had always been something between them, and he truly believed it was hatred because of his mother.

  Bishop, even though he’d never say anything, resented him, he was sure of it. He was pissed for killing his precious mommy, but he could suck his dick for all he cared.

  “What instruction did I give you?” Preacher asked.

  “What?”

  He slapped him hard across the face. “Come on, wake up, asshole. You’re tough enough to start shouting off and spewing your fucking hatred. Be clear. Open your fucking eyes and ears. Come on, bright eyes. Let me hear it. You know you want to talk back at me. Let me hear it.” He hit him again.

  “Stop!”

  Preacher didn’t stop. He wrapped his fingers even tighter around his neck. “You want to keep on spewing that hatred you have, do so, but I promise you, Bishop, I will end you. If you think there is any part of this that is fun for me, or I want to deal with, you’re wrong. There’s not. I can’t stand what happened. I have to look at her every single day and realize what I’ve done. Now I’m a man who has done a great deal of despicable things, but not to Robin. As far as I’m concerned, she’s your woman and will always belong to you, but if you keep on messing this up, you’re going to lose her for good. Is that what you want?”

  Bishop shook his head.

  “I didn’t think so.”

  He released his hand, and Bishop took several deep breaths, collapsing to his knees.

  Preacher stepped back, sitting down on the edge of the bed and looked at his son.

  “Do you care about her?” Bishop asked. “Is that why you care so much?”

  “I care because Robin has done nothing to this club. She’s an innocent, and do you have any idea how fucking rare that is in this world? If you keep on blaming her the way you do, she’s not going to want you. You’ve got to make a choice. Put all of this anger, hatred, and jealousy to one side, or allow it to fester, to build up and consume you, but that’s a choice you’re going to have to make, not me.” He ran his fingers through his hair, looking around the messed-up, dirty room. “Did you know Milly kept a file in here that she was going to use to blackmail me with?”

  “What? No. I only ever brought Milly back here for sex.”

  “Clearly she spent a lot of time here. You need to learn to keep control of yourself. There are people out there who will go to great lengths to bring you down. O’Klaren, he’s a start, and it’s going to get worse, much worse if we don’t nip this in the bud. He’s already sniffing around Robin. I need you to be with her.”

  Bishop sat with his back to the door.

  “I know what you need of me. I married her, didn’t I?” Bishop held up his hand.

  “Then what the fuck is the problem? You always wanted her for your wife. Everyone at the club knew how important it was for you to lay your claim to her, and now you’re behaving like a spoiled little brat. Why?”

  “Because it’s fucking hard, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I don’t have the strength. I look at her, and she’s carrying my brother or sister. I don’t know. It’s weird. Not to mention, she wants nothing to do with me. I can’t even get close to her. I kiss her, and s
he tenses up. She doesn’t want me. What am I supposed to think? I totally understood it before. She’d never been with a guy and I was more than happy to wait, but she’s been with you now and I don’t see what her problem is.”

  Preacher really wanted to hit his son some more. There were times he had to wonder if Bishop was his kid.

  He had the blood test, and you know it to be real.

  “Do you want me to be plain with you? She wasn’t fucking involved!” Preacher raised his voice. “She didn’t come to my room as a willing participant. Milly drugged her, put her in my bed, and I was too fucking drunk to realize it. I thought she was a woman given to me as a freaking gift.” He shook his head. “You know what, if you can’t see the truth then you have no right to her at all. Robin doesn’t deserve your hatred right now, and if you can’t deal with whatever fucked-up shit is going on in your head, then you can stay here.”

  He got to his feet, ready to leave.

  “I hate you,” Bishop said.

  The words were said slowly, calmly, matter-of-fact.

  Bishop tilted his head back and looked at him. He got to his feet, and Preacher saw the marks around his neck.

  He didn’t care.

  Sometimes, you had to be harsh with your kids, and Bishop was getting on his last fucking nerve.

  “What did you say to me?”

  “I hate you. I hate that you were her first, that the baby inside her is yours. You have everything you could want. All the women here want your attention, no one else’s. If you snapped your fingers, they’d all be coming to you, no one else, and yet, you took the one woman who was mine. Robin is mine. She will always be mine. Her cherry was mine, and you popped it. I fucking hate you. I hope she loses the baby. I hope she has nothing of you inside her. I want her to be all mine, but I know while ever she is pregnant, she will have a part of you, and what’s worse? She can’t even hate you for it.”

  Preacher stared at his son, seeing the spite, and he didn’t mind.

  “Do you want to hit me?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. Go ahead. This one time, I will allow you to throw a punch. I won’t retaliate. I’ll be good and sit nice and still. Go ahead. Hit me.” He knew it was what Bishop wanted, even needed.

  “It’s a trick.”

  “No, it’s not. I get that you’re angry, only, you’re taking the anger out on the wrong person. Robin needs you. Hit me. Come on, you little prick, fucking hit me.”

  Bishop raised his fist as if to hit him, and Preacher was ready, more than ready to take whatever hit his son wanted to give him, only, he didn’t.

  “You want me to,” Bishop said.

  Preacher didn’t say a word.

  “You hate what you’ve done, and I’ve got to wonder, Dad, if you hate that I’m the one that is married to Robin.” Bishop smirked. “No, you can deal with whatever guilt you want. You’re right, Robin needs me. Not you, me. You took her virginity, knocked her up, but it’ll be me she comes to for comfort.”

  Bishop grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt before leaving his room.

  The moment he was gone, Preacher smiled. Reverse psychology was a wonderful thing. He’d allow Bishop to believe what he wanted. At the end of the day, he got his way, and Robin would have some company.

  Now, he had to keep an eye on her and make sure nothing bad happened to her. He didn’t trust for Bishop to see an opportunity that would result in her losing the baby.

  ****

  When he first entered his home, Bishop was struck by how quiet it was. He was rarely home late at night, but as he made his way upstairs, he saw Robin’s room had on some light.

  Opening the door, he saw her sitting up in bed, reading. From the look of the book, it was a pregnancy book.

  “Hey,” she said, sliding in a bookmark and putting it to one side. “You’re home.”

  “Yeah, I’m home.”

  She ran her hands down her thighs, and he watched her. He stepped into the room and was overcome with the scent of lemon. She smelled amazing, always had. He missed being close to her.

  You’re the one constantly running away from her.

  “How are you feeling?” she asked.

  “Don’t. Please, don’t be nice to me. I’m a horrible human being. I promised you I’d be there for your scan, and I wanted to be.”

  “I know why you couldn’t make it. It’s fine, honestly.”

  “It’s not fine. Nothing about this is ever going to be fine.” He ran his hand down his face, trying to clear the fog from his mind.

  He stank of other women.

  “You’re my best friend. The love of my life. My soulmate. You needed me, and I bailed on you. I promise I’m not going to bail on you again. You can rely on me.”

  She smiled. “I missed you. Do you want to see the picture?”

  It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her hell no, but instead, he offered her a smile. “I’d love to. First, let me go and shower.”

  He didn’t want to go near her smelling of other women. It hadn’t mattered any other time before, but he didn’t want his father to win, not Robin. She was his, and he was going to fight for her.

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  He rushed toward his bathroom, removing his clothes, and took one of the fastest showers on record. He made sure he cleaned himself thoroughly. There were lipstick marks around his dick, and he cleaned everywhere.

  Once he was done, he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and made his way into Robin’s room.

  Climbing beneath the covers, he tensed, waiting for her to push him away, but she didn’t.

  “Do you really want to see?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  She turned her back to him, and he heard her rummaging around in her drawer, grabbing whatever it was she wanted to show him.

  “This is my baby,” she said.

  He liked how she referred it to “her” baby.

  “Do you know what it is yet?”

  “No. Maybe next time.” She stroked a finger across the blob in the center. “It makes it so much more real, you know. I’ve got a baby inside me.”

  She pressed a hand to her stomach.

  “Can I touch?” he asked.

  Deep inside, he wanted to scream but knew he had to remain calm. His father wasn’t going to win this.

  She leaned back. “Sure.”

  He moved in close, putting his hand to her stomach. He couldn’t feel any baby moving, but there was a pronounced bump on her stomach.

  “I’m going to get a lot bigger. Be huge.” She did a dome across her stomach. “You won’t even be able to wrap your arms around me.”

  “Can I sleep in here tonight? I want to hold you. That’s all I want though, only to hold you close.”

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  She turned her lamp off, and he wrapped his arms around her, snuggling in close.

  “I’ve missed you, Bishop.”

  “I’ve missed you, too. So much.”

  Chapter Ten

  Life returned to some kind of reality.

  Bishop was like a whole new person in her world. He didn’t walk away, or fight with her. Each lesson he stayed with her until he needed to leave for his own class. In the mornings, he was also there, holding her hair while she threw up.

  Robin felt a little guilty because she knew something was going on.

  Even before she was pregnant, Bishop never showed this kind of attention.

  Friday night, she was at her locker, gathering her books when the old Bishop started to show through.

  “There’s a party tonight at the clubhouse,” he said.

  “Cool.”

  “Do you want to go?”

  “I think after what happened at the last one, I’ll give it a hard pass.”

  “It’s not like you’re going to get knocked up again.”

  She paused in putting her books in her bag.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. That wasn’t nice for me to say.”
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  “You still said it.”

  “And I’m a fucking piece of shit for doing so.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ear, putting her bag onto her shoulders. “You should go.”

  “No, we’re staying in, watching a movie. It’ll be fun.”

  “Come on, Bishop. You can’t fool me. I’ve known for the longest time you want to be on the party scene. It’s all you ever wanted, and now’s your chance. Go to the party. Have a lot of fun.”

  “But what about you? You’re going to be on your own.”

  “And I can deal. Remember, I wasn’t at all those other parties. I can enjoy my own company. You do not need to worry about me, trust me.” She hugged him.

  “If you insist.”

  “I do insist. You can go and have some fun. You’ve been spending way too much time around me, and with all the baby talk, I imagine you’re going insane.”

  “Just a bit.”

  “Then go, have a lot of fun, and tell me all about it.” They left the school, and just before they got to his car, she stopped. “You know, I really need to go to the library to do some studying. I can make my own way home from here.”

  “You’re sure? I can come with you.”

  “This is boring to you. I know you care, Bishop, and you want to make sure I’m taken care of, but you still also have a life. I’ll be fine.”

  Bishop grabbed her face, and for the first time in so long, he slammed his lips down on hers, kissing her hard. “I love you, Robin, so freaking much.”

  She laughed, pulling away. “Go, you crazy person. Go and have fun.”

  She watched him as he rushed toward his car.

  This was what she’d been expecting, not that she’d admit it to anyone. There was no point in doing so. He’d only deny it. She also knew what he needed, and it wasn’t hanging out with her, watching another romantic comedy.

  Once she was alone, she walked the short distance to the library, keeping her bag close to her. She noticed as she walked down the street that people would look at her and whisper.

  It would be so easy to assume they were talking about her, but she tried to ignore it.

  Trying and failing to do so.

  She didn’t know for sure if they were talking about her. Her mother had told her she was the talk of the town at the moment.